The First 24
by Haruka-Chan 212
Summary: Rachel's about to move from Broadway to Hollywood. Quinn's a successful attorney. Will everything crumble around them when a case from 10 years ago comes back to haunt them? A/U Future!fic Faberry/Brittana. Trigger Warnings Inside!
1. Prologue

**_I'm going to give you guys a hefty warning. This is a pure angst story. Might be happy closer to the end. But right now it's NOTHING BUT ANGST!_**

**_You've been warned. Warnings will get more in depth the further I get in. This story will contain sensitive subject material for a lot of people. I don't want to give away TOO terribly much, but if the concepts of physical and emotional torture, in all forms upsets you, you might want to skip right past this story._**

**_Don't worry, I won't be upset about it. I'll understand. It just feels nice to get back into the genre I started writing in._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Prologue_**

**_December 19 – 7:30 AM_**

"Good luck today honey." Rachel wrapped her arms around her taller wife's neck. Today was the last day of her trial and the verdict was to be read. The man Quinn was prosecuting was charged with first degree manslaughter of his wife. Honestly, she had no idea how her wife could deal with the gruesome pictures and descriptions on an almost daily basis. But she did it and hardly ever showed any side effects from the outrageous visuals.

The only time she was effected by a trial was almost ten years ago. She'd just become the youngest Assistant District Attorney in New York's 9th Precinct history. The trial she'd been assigned was her second ever in her position. It involved a man who was arrested after being witnessed dropping off a mangled dead body of a young teenage girl . He was also linked to the rape and torture of nearly a dozen more women. All varying in ages. There was no rhyme or reason to his pattern of murders.

Quinn fell into a bit of a depression after that case. She'd go to the office, then return home and stay locked in their bedroom for the rest of the evening. She barely talked to her wife. That was, until Rachel stepped in and took Quinn to see a psychologist. The visits slowly but surely healed all of the attorney's wounds, but never wiped those images clear of her mind. To this day, nearly ten years later, Quinn still woke up in cold sweats from nightmares related to that case.

"I know you did your job." Rachel spoke again before kissing her

"I always do my job." Quinn stated matter-of-factly before she grabbed her briefcase and smoothed her black pencil skirt. "He'll be behind bars in a few hours and I'll be sitting in the front row of your show tonight. Nothing out of the ordinary." She cupped the shorter brunette's cheek and gave her a deep, loving kiss. "Love you Rach."

The brunette grabbed the attorney's hand before she could get too far away and pulled her back in for another kiss. Even after more than 20 years together, the romance was still in their relationship. Nothing's faded away over the years, and they knew at that moment, that nothing ever would. "I love you too."

"See you tonight." Was the last thing Rachel heard before their front door clicked closed behind Quinn as she left.

Rachel made her way into the spacious living room. Living on the north side of New York City had its perks. It allowed them to own a 1,600 square foot two story home. The attached two car garage held their two vehicles when not in use. Quinn's baby blue SUV on the far side, and Rachel's deep green car closest to the house. During the winter one of Rachel's co-stars would pick her up. Especially when their driveway was snowed in. Quinn was always responsible for clearing it, because for the life of her, Rachel couldn't figure out how to work their snow blower.

She hummed as she bent over the plug in their Christmas Tree. A smile played on her lips as she looked at it. It wasn't perfect, but it was theirs. Due to Quinn's allergies, they had an artificial tree. Their first Christmas together was miserable for the blonde. Growing up she'd always had fake trees, and never knew she was allergic to them until she was living with Rachel and the diva insisted on a real tree. It was the only real thing about Christmas, until Quinn, that Rachel loved. That was, of course, until Quinn couldn't stop her sneezing and watery eyes. Ever since then they had a six foot tall fake tree.

The diva made her way toward the spare bedroom to grab some wrapping paper. Now that Quinn was gone she could finish wrapping a few of her presents. With Christmas next week she had to get them done. Today was the last day Quinn would be at the office or in court before the holiday break. After placing the rolls of wrapping paper on the living room floor she dug into the back of the coat closet for a bag that she'd expertly buried. She knew the only reason Quinn got in there was to get her tan overcoat.

After turning on the stereo on their entertainment stand she made herself comfortable against the sofa and sang along to the Christmas songs that echoed through the living room. She only ever started paying attention to Christmas carols once her and Quinn started dating. She was raised primarily under the Jewish faith, Quinn under the Christian. During the holidays, their house was a perfect mixture of both religions. Up on the mantel sat Rachel's Menorah. All but the last two electric candles – for avoiding fires when they were both gone – were lit. Hanukkah was something that even after all this time together, Quinn still didn't entirely understand. But Rachel didn't mind explaining it to her every single year.

She hummed softly when a very familiar song started playing through the house. She opened her mouth to sing along with it.

**_I'll be home for Christmas  
>You can plan on me<br>Please have snow and mistletoe  
>And presents on the tree<em>**

**_Christmas Eve will find me_**  
><strong><em>Where the lovelight gleams<em>**  
><strong><em>I'll be home for Christmas<em>**  
><strong><em>If only in my dreams<em>**

**_I'll be home for Christmas  
>You can plan on me<br>Please have snow and mistletoe  
>And presents on the tree<em>**

**_Christmas Eve will find me_**  
><strong><em>Where the lovelight gleams<em>**  
><strong><em>I'll be home for Christmas<em>**  
><strong><em>If only in my dreams<em>**

She smiled when the song finished and another soon came on. She leaned forward the pull the items out of the bag, all were small, but high dollar items. Things that she knew her wife would love. She started with a small jewelry box. Before wrapping it she opened it and smiled. She was a genius. It was a matching necklace and bracelet set. Her fingers trailed along the white gold locket of the necklace. Inside was one of their wedding photos. Quinn's favorite actually. It was a candid shot of the two at the head table, their foreheads resting against one another. A smile on both of their faces.

It was the happiest day of Rachel's life. She didn't know what she'd ever do without her wife. She shook her head. Whenever she started to think of that she instantly stopped herself before her overactive imagination started creating horrible scenarios for how she'd lose her wife.

* * *

><p><strong><em>December 19 – 4:45 PM<em>**

"Q! You've gotta come out with us. This was like, the biggest case this year."

The blonde laughed softly. She'd won her case and the man was sentenced to life in prison. She looked at her dear friend and partner, Santana Lopez. "I can't. Tonight's Rach's last show before the holidays. Promised her I'd be there."

"Well, when's the show over then?" Santana helped her friend pack up files.

"Around 10. Wanna meet up at the pub around 10:30?"

The Latina smiled. "That sounds perfect. I know Britt will be happy she hasn't seen you guys since Thanksgiving."

Quinn only sighed. She missed her friend. She got to see Rachel and Santana on a daily basis, but Brittany was another story. It was next to impossible to get around everybody's conflicting schedules to get all of them together. "Hey San, what time is it?" She started buttoning her heavy coat and pulled her gloves out of the pockets to slide them over her fingers before braving the New York winter.

"Almost 5."

"Shit!" Quinn grabbed her briefcase and her purse. "Rachel's show starts at 7. I need to hurry up."

"You've got plenty of time." Santana laughed at her long-time friend's antics.

The attorney glared at her. "I ordered flowers for her, since it's her last performance on this show. Ya know I had to get my ticket three months ago? It sold out the minute it got public it was her last day on this show."

"Isn't she in talks with some movie producers?"

Quinn smiled widely. She was proud of her wife for everything she achieved. The Tonys, the constant contracts. Even now, she was in the process of moving away from the Broadway scene and into the movie scene. "Yes she is. Her and her manager are in final negotiations for some Romantic Comedy movie." She pulled her car keys out of her purse. "I _really_ have to get going San, I'm gonna be late if I don't hurry. And I promised her I'd be there."

"Alright, alright. You're so whipped. Just text me when you guys are on your way to the pub." She stayed around to gather her own belongings. "Tell Rachel hi for me, and good luck."

"Will do. I'll see you guys tonight." Quinn nodded before heading down to the parking deck. Santana was right behind her.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Look for regular updates on Sunday evenings. Once a week will give me a chance to stay ahead of the story, plus give you guys something to look forward to.<strong>_

_**AND... I'm going to ask you a question, without actually asking a question. I'm still a little undecided on a portion of this story.**_

_**-so-**_

_**When you guys leave your reviews... tell me a simple "yes" or "no" and no I'm not going to tell you what your yes's or no's mean. :D Consider it a blind survey :D**_


	2. Chapter 1

**_Thank you so much for the reviews and your votes. Currently I'm at 12 for yes and 3 (counting some non-reviewers) for no. _**

**_Please allow me to give you a hint at what the survey question will bring to this story. You're saying either yes or no to something involving Quinn. Yes will lead to more angst and overcoming for Quinn. No will make for a shorter easier to handle story. I will continue to take answers through chapter 3. By the time I post chapter 3 I should be up to the point in my own writing where I need to finally make that choice. Well, you guys need to make that choice for me :D_**

**_All mistakes are my own, this is beta'd by me, myself, and I.  
><em>**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<em>**

**_Chapter 1_**

**_December 19 – 6:52 PM_**

Rachel was pacing. No, it wasn't her nerves. Rachel Berry-Fabray never got nervous before a performance, especially one that she'd done more than a hundred or so times. No, she was pacing because the curtain was rising in less than ten minutes and the front row center seat was still empty. She promised she'd be there, and the chair was empty. She'd heard the news of the verdict on the radio while on the way to the theater. She now started to fear that her wife was dragged out by Santana to celebrate the win.

It had happened before.

But never for a big performance like this. Whenever Quinn made a promise, she kept it. She wasn't quite sure whether she was angry, or worried. She hurried back to her dressing room and couldn't help but smile when she saw a fresh bouquet of roses that hadn't been there when she left. Upon closing her door behind her she pulled the note out of its holder to open it.

_To my love,_

_This may be your last performance on the big stage before going to the big screen, but I know you'll be perfect. As always._

_Yours,_  
><em>Quinn<em>

Rachel's nerves calmed some. Just a tiny bit though. The show was to start shortly and her wife still wasn't there. She dug into her purse to pull out her cell phone. No missed calls. No new text messages. A sigh left her lips as she scrolled through her contacts until she found Quinn and hit the call button. Four rings later before the call was picked up.

_"You've reached Assistant District Attorney Quinn Berry-Fabray. I'm unable to answer my phone right now, please leave me a message and I'll call you back as soon as I can."_

Just as she was about to call Santana to yell at her she heard her name being called by one of the stage hands. There wasn't enough time to give her friend a call. She placed her phone back into her purse and exited her dressing room. Ever hopeful that Quinn would be seated in the front row.

"You okay Rach?" Jeffrey, Rachel's leading man had just taken his place, his hand resting on her hip.

She shook her head and rested her hand on his shoulder. "I can't get a hold of Quinn. She was suppose to be here."

Before Jeff had a chance to answer they heard the music starting. They'd be able to talk once the performance was over. Jeff had always been a close friend of Rachel's, ever since she entered the Broadway scene 12 years ago. He mentored her and helped get her to where she was today. This wasn't just Rachel's last Broadway show, it was also Jeffrey's. Fans for both stars had the show sold out within an hour of the tickets going on sale.

With Rachel moving to the big screen, Jeff decided to live a more laid-back life with his wife and two children. They didn't doubt that they'd remain friends long after their last performance. Who knew though, maybe they could still get together for impromptu performances. Nothing that was ever scheduled, just something they'd do on the fly for a small number of fans.

Rachel's eyes kept searching the audience for any sign of her wife as her and her fellow stars seamlessly moved from scene to scene. She tried to focus on Jeff, he knew she was worried and starting to go into panic mode. He whispered to her over and over again when they were close to one another to calm down. To stay relaxed. But it did nothing for her nerves. But, being the star that she was she needed to push through.

The show must go on.

Even when you have a lying wife who can't keep her promises.

But then again, there was a bouquet of two dozen roses sitting in her dressing room from her wife. The wife that wasn't in the front row like promised. Her mind instantly started creating a million different reasons as to why Quinn wasn't in her seat. Jeff noticed the girl's distraught expressions and when they shared a dance and song at the end of Act 1, he held her closer then he normally would. It offered little comfort to the stressed woman.

After a quick costume change for the start of Act 2, Rachel was at her wit's end. It wasn't like Quinn to not show up without a phone call.

During her Intermission, things only got worse. She hurried back to her dressing room and retrieved her phone. After a deep, shaky breath she opened her eyes to see what she feared. No missed calls. She did though, have a new text message.

_Santana: You and Q still coming to the pub after your show?_

If she wasn't worried before, she was now. She quickly scrolled through her contacts and dialed her wife's number one more time. After four rings it was the same thing.

_"You've reached Assistant District –"_

She ended the call before the voicemail message could go any further. She scrolled down one more on her phone and called Santana.

_"Thought you had a show short-stack."_ Santana's voice rang through her ears.

"Intermission… Where's Quinn?"

Santana let out a soft laugh before responding. _"At your show?"_

"Nice try. She's not here. Where is she?"

By that time Santana was starting to panic some herself. _"What do you mean she's not there? We both left together from the office at 5. She said about picking up some flowers then going to your show."_

Rachel's heart sank. Last time her wife was seen was over three hours ago. It was already after 8PM and pushing 9. She still had one more act to go before her show was over. "Well the flowers are here. She must have paid for them and had them delivered... I can't get a hold of her Santana. I'm getting scared. It's not like her to miss a show. Especially after she made me a promise that she'd be here."

_"I'm sure she's fine Rach, don't panic. Just go finish your last show. Think of the fans."_

As much as she always hated to admit it, Santana was right. What she hated most of all, was the fact that Santana was almost always right when Rachel fell into one of her panicked state of minds. "Yea, I guess you're right."

_"Of course I'm right. Listen, I'll try to call her while you're doing your last act. Britt and I will even pick you up when you're done tonight if she's not there by then. Okay?"_

Rachel nodded her head a few times and wiped away a stray tear. She really was thankful for her friends. "Yea. I'll talk to you later."

_"See ya Berry."_

The diva hung up her phone and scrolled back up to Quinn's name.

_"You've reached -"_

Again she ended the call once Quinn's voicemail message started up. "Rachel?" She looked up when her door opened and Jeff stepped in. "Any luck?" She just shook her head, tears slowly streaming down her face. Quinn was definitely going to have hell to pay for this one. If not by Rachel, then by him. He'd never seen the girl so lost before. "Do you want Deanna to go on for the last Act?"

She seriously considered it. She wasn't quite sure how she'd be able to complete the show. There was still another hour left. Act 3 was the longest and most emotionally involved of the three. It involved the death of her character's husband, played by Jeff. "I'm scared Jeffrey." She melted into his embrace when he offered it to her.

Ever since the moment they first met, he'd been almost like a big brother to her. He'd been there for her through each of her fights with her wife. Just like Santana had been there for Quinn. She loved him like he were part of her family. "I know you are honey. She's a bright woman."

"She's not bright enough to be here."

The older man laughed softly at her dry humor. "There ya go Rachel, redirect the worry to anger. That'll get you through watching me die. For the 125th time this season."

"I need to do this for the fans. They paid to see my last performance." She dabbed at her eyes before moving away from him to her mirror. After fixing her running make-up she turned back to him. "And I'm gonna go out with a bang." Putting on her best actress face she continued. "Come on my love, I do believe we have fans to entertain."

Rachel and Jeffrey made their way out of her dressing room and back to the stage. She seemed perfectly fine until the curtain raised and she saw that empty seat one more time. Unsure of how she was even standing at that point, she started going through the motions of the last Act. Everything was fine, however, until she heard the fake gunshot and saw Jeffrey collapse to the stage. At this point in the show she was to collapse beside him in tears. She couldn't move her feet to get closer to him. The sound of the gunshot sent her into a fit of tears, yes. But they were real tears.

When the curtain fell, signaling the end of the show Rachel still hadn't moved from her knees on the stage. Jeffrey stood and ran to her side. He was starting to become scared on her part. "Rachel… Rachel look at me." She did so. "Do you want me to take you home tonight?"

She shook her head. "My friends Santana and Brittany are picking me up. They know I can't get in touch with Quinn and said they'd be here if she wasn't. And obviously she's not."

"Alright." He stood up and helped her up too. "We're almost done. Come on Rach, just a few bows and cheers then you can get out of here."

She nodded and took a deep breath to fight off the tears. She wiped at her eyes to find smeared make-up. It was to the point she no longer cared. Something in her heart was telling her that her wife wasn't okay. Everything was a blur from the time she took her bow to getting back to her dressing room to find Santana and Brittany sitting on her sofa. "Any luck?"

Santana just shook her head.

**_December 20 – 12:33 AM_**

**_-6.5 hours missing-_**

"Rach, do you want a drink?"

The brunette shook her head. Ever since the moment they got her home she'd stayed curled up on her side of the bed holding one of Quinn's pillows. She was stroking the back of it. Deep in her thoughts, she was trying to convince herself that it was her wife she was holding. She tried to convince herself that what she smelled wasn't just the remnants of her shampoo but was her actual hair and perfume.

"San and I are gonna stay here tonight. We don't want you to be alone. She's on the phone with the police to tell them she's missing." Brittany sat down on the bed behind her friend's knees and carefully placed her hand on her hip. A fresh set of tears took over her yet again. She abandoned Quinn's pillow and sat up. Before Brittany had much of a chance to react she was being pounced on by the sobbing shorter woman.

Brittany really wasn't sure what she could do other than to just hold her. The dancer allowed her head to rest on top of her best friend's. Her and Santana had to be strong for Rachel right now. A week before Christmas, and nobody could find Quinn. Nobody could find her wife. Granted Quinn was her and Santana's best friend, but she was Rachel's wife. There was a bond there that the two other women didn't have, and couldn't have.

"Lo-Jack!" Rachel screamed out as she made a mad dash for her phone. Her hand shook so much when she picked it up and started scrolling through the contacts that the device slipped out of her hands and landed on the carpet at her feet. "Santana!" She picked up the device again. She tried to curb her sobs long enough to hand her phone to her friend. "Quinn's car… it has Lo-Jack."

Santana's eyes lit up. "I could kiss you right now Rachel, you're a genius." She grabbed the diva's phone and scrolled through her contact list until she found the number she was after. She was in better shape than the star to make the phone calls.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Review for me :D Don't forget that I'm still taking answers for my blind survey through chapter 3. Leave a review with your opinion, as well as a yes or no. multiple votes are allowed, like if you voted last chapter you can change it this chapter.<strong>_

_**See you all next week!  
><strong>_


	3. Chapter 2

**_So, Upon recounting the votes. The results are as follows:_**

**_Yes - 17  
>No - 11<em>**

**_That also includes 2 non-review answers from two friends of mine. I've noticed it's a hell of a lot closer then it was after chapter 1. Why did so many of you change your answers from yes to no? _**

**_Remember, voting will continue throughout this chapter and the next chapter. If you've already voted, and you want to change it, then change it :)_**

**_Next clue to the survey question, you already know that a yes will make the story longer and involve more overcoming and a no will make it shorter and easier. Here's your next clue:_**

**_A yes will severely impact the lives of Quinn and Rachel Berry-Fabray._**

**_A no won't impact their lives at all._**

**_Oh what the hell, I'll throw in another clue. What you're voting for, does not have anything to do with the life of Quinn. Quinn lives, no matter what you decide. I could never kill Quinn she's like...awesome.  
><em>**

**_Please remember, no matter what the outcome...this WILL! have a happy ending._**

**_One last thing, this is beta'd by me, myself, and I. So mistakes are my own :) Oh, you get to see Quinn in this chapter. Not for long though. That'll come later on.  
><em>**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Chapter 2_**

**_December 20 – 8:00 AM  
>-14 hours missing-<em>**

_"Assistant District Attorney Quinn Berry-Fabray's abandoned vehicle was found last night after midnight. The attorney is still missing."_

Rachel hadn't moved from her place on the sofa. Her eyes never left the television screen. She hadn't eaten since Santana and Brittany had brought her home the night before. They had stayed awake with her all evening. All conversation was kept to a minimum. Brittany and Santana even took shifts holding a crying Rachel.

Everybody was at a loss.

Even Santana had shed some tears, when she thought she was alone. Quinn was her best friend. They'd been together almost since birth. She knew the blonde longer than anybody else, except for Judy and Russell Fabray. But since they're death in a car accident a little over five years ago, they no longer counted. 38 years knowing a person would do that. Santana stayed in the shower early in the morning for almost an hour and just cried.

Brittany had been torn. She'd heard her wife crying in the bathroom, but she also had one of her best friend's crying over her missing wife. The dancer knew she couldn't comfort both of them. After she rested her hand on the bathroom door she had retreated back into the living room to wrap her arms around the smaller brunette. They cried together for several hours last night.

Santana and Brittany didn't want to leave the diva alone. They couldn't leave her alone. Not now. Not ever.

It was at that moment that they all finally realized just how dangerous Quinn's job really was.

**_December 20 – 9:00 AM  
>-15 hours missing-<em>**

"Wake up you bitch!"

The following sting on her cheek caused her to stir out of her slumber. "Ah!" Out of reaction she attempted to lift her hand to tend to her stinging cheek. It was then she realized they were shackled above her head. Her eyes slowly opened.

Around her she saw nothing but stone. Cement blocks most likely. Above her head, her vision was blinded some by a single light bulb. It's chain hung down in the middle of the room. Another attempt to move revealed to her that her legs were tied down by the ankle. Soon following it dawned on her that she was naked. "Where am I?"

She squinted her eyes in an attempt to look at the man who was on the other side of the light. The light obscured her view and all she saw was his shadow. "Oh you don't recognize me Quinn?" He stepped closer to her, finally coming into her view. A gasp escaped her throat. She did recognize him. Her heart sank to near her stomach. Jim Fields. A name she'd never forget. He was the man that was still giving her nightmares. Ten years later.

"You should be in jail." She dared to throw back at him. She really was in no position to talk back to him. It was in her blood though.

In high school Quinn was in charge of everything. She never backed down from a challenge. Or for that matter, a fight. Especially what was about to become a fight for her life. That's what she assumed anyway, based on her knowledge of Jim's past. She was a Fabray. And the Fabrays were a proud people who never backed down. They never let any fear show. Fear is what the enemy thrived off of. Showing no fear tells them they're not getting to you. That's what Quinn had to do, be strong.

"Let's just say, I was a good boy." He ran his finger through his short black hair as he knelt down beside her. She wasted no time in spitting in his face. Big mistake. He simply let out a dry laugh before bringing his hand across the back of her face. "That's not how a lady's suppose to act."

"Fuck you, pig." Quinn didn't hesitate in spitting in his face again. The resounding slap caused the entire left side of her face to hurt. She felt tears stinging her eyes. Her ears barely registered his cursing before the door slammed shut and she was left alone to her thoughts.

She should be at home right now. But what time was 'right now'? With no windows in her room she honestly had no idea whether it was morning or evening. She didn't even know how long she'd been unconscious for before waking up. She should be at home, with her wife, finishing the final preparations with Santana and Brittany for their Christmas Party on Saturday.

She wasn't supposed to be here.

She wasn't supposed to be naked.

She wasn't supposed to die.

**_December 20 – 6:24 PM  
>-24.5 hours missing-<em>**

"Rachel?" Santana called out when the tiny diva suddenly stood up. It was the first time she'd moved in more than ten hours, other than to go to the bathroom. This time though, she was heading toward the back door. "Rachel it's freezing outside. Put a coat on."

She was numb to any pain. The sub-zero temperatures outside didn't mean a thing to her. She just wrapped her arms around her chest and stepped out onto the back deck. Off in the distance she looked at the line of trees that separated their yard from the highway on the other side. She thought back to all the times she stood in that exact same spot and watched her wife on the riding lawn mower. She'd be the good little housewife and wait until she was done. After she'd finished she'd always have a glass of lemonade waiting for her. Or sometimes she'd have a beer waiting. But she could remember watching her every single time she worked in the yard. What if she never got that luxury again?

Her mind drifted to the last time all four of the friends were together. It was Thanksgiving and Jeffrey, his wife Eileen, and their two children, Jessica and Alex had also joined them. She remembered laughing and sharing a drink with Brittany and Eileen while watching their spouses and the children playing football in the yard. Quinn and Santana could get so competitive with each other. Rachel was actually thankful they were on the same team for once against Jeff and the two kids.

"She's okay ya know." Santana spoke as she draped a heavy wool blanket over her dear friend's shoulders. She stepped up beside her and leaned against the railing to look out over the snow covered yard.

"I… I really want to believe that Santana. But I just don't know if I can." She looked down at her feet. "We're supposed to be planning our annual Christmas party right now. How can I even have a Christmas without her here? Huh?" Her sad eyes turned to look at Santana. The Latina just stood there, watching and listening as Rachel let everything out. "I'm so numb right now. Not from the extremely low temperatures. It's almost as if I've completely forgotten how to feel anything. Every time I think of Quinn my heart aches. It feels like it's going to just crumble any second it hurts so much. The last thing I heard her tell me was 'see you tonight.' That's the last thing she said before she walked out the door. I wasn't even the last one to see her, you were."

Santana opened her arms when Rachel started to step closer. The two had a strange relationship at best. It was much like the Latina's relationship with Quinn. Always bickering over something or another, but always there when they needed them most. And right now, Rachel needed her most, just like she needed Rachel most. Out of her, Rachel, and Brittany, she knew her and Rachel's relationship with Quinn was the strongest. "She's a fighter Rach."

"I'm well aware of that Santana. But what if she's out there just laying on the side of the road somewhere calling out for one of us, but nobody can hear her because nobody's looking for her."

"They are looking for her." Santana rested her head against the tiny diva's and closed her eyes. Everything Rachel was saying was right. She knew it was right, but she didn't want to believe it. She couldn't believe it. Their Quinn was still out there. She just knew it.

"They're doing a horrible job of it though. The first 24 to 48 hours are the most crucial in locating a missing person." She found herself shivering and pressing herself closer into Santana's embrace. "I just want my wife back."

"I know…"

Silence fell between them. No words were spoken. The only sound coming from the shorter brunette as she fought with tears. She was tired of crying. She'd always hating losing control of her emotions. No matter how much she was tormented as a child and teen, she never once cried. Why couldn't she control her emotions now? And why was she crying on Santana's shoulder of all people?

"Guys, I made dinner." Brittany spoke softly from the sliding glass door. She gave her wife a sad smile. Brittany wasn't as dumb as people always treated her. She was well away of what was going on. Her best friend was gone. Her other best friend was horribly sad. And she hated when people were sad. Her own wife insisted that they both stay with Rachel. Especially now. Christmas was in a few days. This was the worse time of year for anybody to be alone.

"Do you want something to eat?"

Rachel just shook her head. She did though pull away from Santana to go back inside. She wasn't hungry. She was just cold. With the blanket still wrapped around her she made her way up the steps toward her and Quinn's bedroom. She grabbed their wedding picture from her dresser before curling up in a ball on her own side of the bed.

Brittany helped her shorter wife out of her jacket. Her eyes following the path that Rachel took, even though she was long out of sight. "San, I'm worried about her."

The Latina let out a sigh. She placed her hand on Brittany's arm. "She thinks… She thinks Q's…" She couldn't finish her sentence, but the look in the blonde's eyes told her she understood. She walked away before tears could fall down her cheeks. Truth be told, she thought the same. What Rachel had told her was right. The first 24-48 hours were the most important when finding a missing person. With each passing hour the rate of death grew exponentially.

"Who would do this to her?" The dancer followed her wife into the kitchen where she'd prepared one of Rachel's favorite meals. Vegan lasagna.

Santana just shook her head without a clue. She pulled three place out of the cabinet near the sink. Even though Rachel said she wasn't hungry, she was at least going to make sure she had food waiting for her. Santana dished lasagna onto each of the three plates.

Her heart broke when she pushed open the door to Rachel's bedroom. The tiny brunette had appeared to have fallen asleep. There was a metal picture frame clutched to her chest with one hand. Her other arm was wrapped tightly around a pillow. Santana assumed that the pillow belonged to Quinn. She carefully placed the plate on the table near the side of the bed Rachel was sleeping on.

She was at a total loss as to what to do. Santana hated when she had no control over a situation. Especially a situation so horrible. After fixing the blanket that covered Rachel's body she flipped the light off and returned to the kitchen.

Her thoughts kept going to what Brittany had said to her. Who would do this to Quinn?

* * *

><p><em><strong>Don't forget your reviews with your yes or no answer. :D They make me smile. Especially some of you that are like "I hate blind surveys... yeeeaaanoooooyeee...yes!" xD they make my laugh.<strong>_

_**See you next week!  
><strong>_


	4. Chapter 3

**_So this is the last chapter you all get to vote on. :) Current standings are as follows:_**

**_Yes - 24_**

**_No - 11_**

**_Unless there's a huge overwhelming amount of reviews with votes for this chapter, I think it's safe to say that the story will be just a tad bit longer. :) The memory at the end for Santana, was a spur of the moment thing to give some more length to the chapter. I was thinking that since you guys have to wait a week between chapters then I'm going to try to make them a little bit longer._**

**_The first portion of this chapter is a bit of a touchy subject with some people... it doesn't go into great detail, but there's enough there that if rape bothers you... I'd suggest skipping it._**

**_Also, with the first portion of the chapter...that's your last hint as to what my blind survey is about. If you read between the lines you should be able to figure it out. :)_**

**_Oh yea, this is also beta'd by me, myself, and I... I take credit for any and all mistakes.  
><em>**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Chapter 3_**

**_December 22 – 4:00 AM_**

**_-2 days, 14 hours missing-_**

Quinn's eyes opened when she felt callous covered hands prying her thighs apart. It wasn't the first time it had happened. She was sure it wouldn't be the last. As long as he let her live anyway. She remembered every second of her trial. The trial that was supposed to have put him away for more than 30 years. Good behavior. Quinn let out a dry chuckle at her own thoughts.

"What's so funny faggot?" He let out a loud groan as he thrust into her. Her entire body clenched up at the unwelcome intrusion. There was no sign of sympathy for her pain. It burned. It always burned. It was similar to the pain she felt when she lost her virginity. The only difference is, it never faded away. The feeling was unwelcome. Every time it felt horrible. Every time she tried to think of something else. And every time she failed. "I asked you a question!" He shouted in her face.

Her fingernails pressed into the palms of her hands so hard she drew blood. "Just thinking." And she was. She was thinking of her lovely wife Rachel that was probably worried sick about her. She was thinking of her best friends Brittany and Santana and what her disappearance was doing to them. She was thinking of anything that wasn't Jim pounding into her.

"You love this don't you?" He grunted. His pace was picking up. His rough hands pushed her legs even further apart. When she resisted on instinct he slammed his hand down. His fist connected with her rib cage.

"Ah! Fuck!" She screamed out in pain. Each breath started to hurt more than the last. Her whole body trembled. She could no longer focus on anything but the pain in her ribs and the burning between her legs. At least it would be over soon. Tears stung the corners of her eyes but she refused to let them fall. She couldn't let him know that he was starting to get to her. He was starting to tear down the last of her defensive walls.

It was to the point that whenever the door to her room opened up, she jumped. She never knew what reason Jim had for being in her room. There were several innocent times when he would just come in to get her water and feed her. He would even be civil and try talking to her. A conversation she never took part in. Then there were other times he would show up just to use her as a punching back. Or, times like now. She was becoming his sexual play thing.

With a loud groan, she felt him empty himself inside of her. It was over. Finally she could relax. Or so she thought anyway. He stood up and without a word landed two punches on her already badly bruised and swollen face. After a kick to her ribs, he was gone. When the door closed behind him she turned as best she could onto her side and let her tears flow.

She just wanted to go home…

**_December 23 – 9:30 AM_**

**_-3 days, 15.5 hours missing-_**

Brittany laid on the sofa, her upper body being held loosely by her wife, her lower body was covered by a flannel blanket. Rachel was still, as far as they knew, asleep in her bedroom. Santana was in and out of sleep herself. She had been most of the morning. It's been nearly four days since and of them had last seen Quinn. There was still no word from the police department. They were all starting to lose hope. Especially Rachel.

The blonde stirred some when there was a knock on the front door. The sound echoed into the living room. She glanced at her wife to see her head had fallen back against the sofa cushions. Her mouth hung open some. A sure fire sign that she was asleep. She carefully extracted herself from Santana's arms and made her way to the front door.

"Can I…" Brittany felt her heart rate speed up and all the air exit her lungs when she opened the door. "…help you?"

One of the two officers stepped forward. "We're here to speak with Rachel."

"She's asleep… What's this about?" Brittany's arms folded over her chest. Her nerves were on end and the sight of the officers wasn't helping.

The female officer removed her hat to get a better look at the older blond. "Ma'am, it's important we speak with her."

Not knowing what else to do she made her way back to the living room. The two officers followed her into the house and stopped in the foyer, having assumed that the woman would fetch Rachel for them. "San…" The blonde whispered closer to her wife's ear. She didn't stir. "San wake up…" Still there was nothing. Brittany sighed before settling herself onto Santana's lap and taking her face in her hands. "Santana!" She practically yelled. Making sure that she didn't draw the attention of the cops.

"What… what?" The brunette shot upright. She was awake now and very aware of a worried looking woman on her lap. She quickly wiped the sleep from her eyes and sat up completely. "What's wrong?"

"Cops are here." Brittany climbed off her wife. In a hurry to get out of her way.

Santana was instantly struck with a mixture of emotions. "Why?" She stood up. But before she gave her a chance to answer she was walking out of the living room. Well on her way to the front door. When the two police officers came into view she started to panic. "What's going on here?"

"Are you Mrs. Rachel Berry-Fabray ma'am?" The older man spoke. He never left the side of his partner.

Santana folded her arms over her chest with a scoff. "No, she's asleep. What's this about?"

"It's private business Ms…" He trailed off, hoping she would jump in with her name.

"Mrs… Santana Lopez. Rachel's my friend." By then Brittany had made her way back to the group. She stayed in the doorway and just watched. "I'm just wondering why New York's _finest_ are here instead of looking for her wife."

The female officer took a small step forward. "Mrs. Lopez… I'm Officer Sanchez, this is my partner Officer Franklin." Santana didn't really care what their names were. "Quinn is the reason we're here ma'am."

Due to the fact that she never added anymore to her statement, Santana instantly knew why they were there. "Oh hell no. You can't be serious!"

Brittany finally spoke up. Coming to her wife's side as she did. "What?"

"Rachel's a suspect." Her eyes never left the officers' unwavering faces. The tone of her voice was dangerously calm.

"How? She was at her show and then she's been with us the entire time." Brittany matched her wife's gaze on the cops standing in Rachel's entryway.

Officer Franklin sighed. "We cannot disclose that information. If you could please fetch Rachel for us."

She wasn't sure when it happened. Or even how it happened. But she felt Brittany's strong arms around her waist while she attempted to lunge toward the officers. She'd finally lost her cool. So much time spent staying strong for everybody else had wore her out. The cops being there finally caused her to snap. "You idiots are here to bring a distraught woman even more pain! It's almost Christmas for fuck's sake. You bastards need to be out there looking for Quinn, not here bringing an innocent woman even more pain. She's got solid alibis. Fuck! She was at her last fucking Broadway show while lord knows what was happening to Quinn."

"What's going on?" A very tired voice came from the hallway behind them.

"Rachel Berry-Fabray?" Officer Sanchez approached the fragile woman. Rachel just nodded. Subconsciously she clutched her wedding picture closer to her chest. The photo hasn't been put down anywhere since she first picked it up. Except for the times Brittany or Santana forced her into a shower. "I'm Officer Maria Sanchez, this is Officer John Franklin… we need to ask you a few questions."

Rachel's brow furrowed some. "Why?" Her other arm came up to wrap around the frame that was against her chest.

Brittany pulled Santana away from the cops and Rachel. She helped herself to using Rachel's room. She needed to get her wife to calm down. Once she had them behind the closed door Santana completely lost it. Now that the tears had started, she wasn't sure she could stop.

"Can we sit down?" John asked. Rachel nodded before leading the way into the living room. "How are you holding up?"

That was the one question she hoped they wouldn't ask. "I… I'm scared. I want my Quinn back." She looked down at the floor when she sat down. Her seat of choice ended up being her wife's recliner.

"What do you have in your hands there Rachel?"

The brunette tightened her grip on the frame. "Our wedding picture." All of her words were soft. She really didn't want to be answering any of their questions. All she wanted was to go back to bed and be by herself. At least Brittany and Santana gave her what she wanted, except for meal time where they'd silently place a plate beside her bed and leave her to her thoughts.

Maria let out a heavy sigh before taking over the questioning. "Where were you at when you realized Quinn was missing?"

"Work."

"Rachel, I know it's hard, but we need you to answer our questions with all the detail you can remember."

Rachel frowned, finally lifting her gaze to look at the female officer. "You don't know how hard this is for me. You can't possibly begin to fathom what I'm feeling. Quinn is my life. Her and I have been together since we were 16 years old. That's 22 years. I've been with the same person for the better part of half of my life. You have absolutely no idea how hard this is for me. So don't you dare try to tell me that you do." Rachel suddenly cowered back into her seat.

"Alright, I'm sorry Rachel."

"I was in the middle of my last show on Broadway."

"Why didn't you stop when you realized something was wrong?"

Rachel felt the tears sliding down her cheeks. She was still asking herself the same question. She should have stopped when Quinn hadn't shown up by intermission. She should have stopped when Jeff told her that Deanna could finish the show for her. But she pushed through. She was selfish. "During intermission, I called Santana. She told me to finish up the last act in my show and she'd keep trying to call Quinn."

The officer's heart melted some. There was no way this woman was capable of hurting a fly, let alone planning her wife's kidnapping. But they were there for a reason and had to get to the hard questions. "Do you know anybody who would want to hurt your wife Rachel?"

"No, I don't. But I'm sure you're well aware of the fact that she's an attorney. She didn't make many friends in her job…" Rachel wiped her tears off of her cheeks.

She didn't notice the officers look at one another before looking back to her. "We've got very few leads on your wife Rachel. When we've hit this part of the investigation… we stop looking for the missing person."

"No!" Rachel shot up to her feet. "You can't stop looking for her! Why would you stop looking for her?"

"Her trail's run cold Rachel. There were no clues in or around her abandoned vehicle. We are, though, continuing with the criminal investigation."

"Then why are you here?"

John sighed before standing up. "It's common knowledge that the spouse is the top suspect."

"This is preposterous. How could you even think for one minute I would do this to my wife? I love Quinn. I love Quinn with every fiber of my being. And I think that you and your partner need to leave my house and allow me to continue to cry and sleep in my bed _alone_ while waiting for you… you… jackasses to locate my wife!" It wasn't often the tiny diva cursed. But the simple fact that she was being blamed for her wife's disappearance had broken her last nerve. How was she suppose to have stayed calm while she was being accused. "We were supposed to be moving to Los Angeles after the first of the year. Quinn had already arranged to take the California Bar Exam. We've already closed on the house we're moving into. How can you even begin to think I had something to do with this?" She stood from her seat and gave both of them the best HBIC glare she could muster. "I do believe you need to leave me house and if you have any more questions for me then they can be directed through my attorney Mrs. Santana Lopez."

She was down the hallway, and up the stairs before either officer had a chance to say a word to her. She did, though hear her front door open then close behind them when they left. Her knees buckled under her and she found herself landing on the carpeted hallway. Rachel knew from her years with Quinn that the spouse was always the top suspect. But to actually hear it and to live it, was a totally different situation for her.

"Rachel?" Brittany popped her head out of the bedroom and frowned when she saw the trembling mass on the floor. Her heart was shattered enough and each broken piece shattered some more each moment she had to witness Rachel breaking down. She wanted to stop all her pain. She wanted to stop everybody from hurting. Her wife was hurting, her best friend was hurting, and she was hurting. She knelt down beside the brunette and wrapped her arms around her. "It's gonna be okay."

"H-how can i-it be o-o-okay? They thi-nk I did it!"

Santana made her presence known at that point. "I've got your back Rach, don't worry." She knelt down with her wife and friend and wrapped her own arms around the pair. She no longer tried to hold her own tears back.

The police were calling off the search for Quinn. There were no leads as to her whereabouts. There was nothing else they could do other then prepare for a possible trial to defend Rachel's innocence. The only thing they had pointing to the brunette was the fact that she was Quinn's wife. There was nothing else out of the ordinary that would lead a jury of people to possibly believe that she was capable of such a feat.

Santana was going to live up to a promise her and Quinn made to each other years ago…

**_July 20, 2025_**

**_-6 years prior-_**

_Quinn groaned softly as she started to stir. She couldn't feel a thing from the waist down and was suddenly petrified. Her face was swollen – her eyes barely opening to look at her surroundings. She spotted Santana on the bed beside her, whispering softly to Brittany. She groaned again when she felt a familiar hand pick up her right one._

_"Quinn?"_

_The blonde lazily turned her head to lock eyes with her wife. Rachel's own eyes were bloodshot and swollen. It was obvious she'd been crying. "What happened?" Her voice was dry but the first cough proved to be a bad choice on her part as her entire chest constricted under the action._

_Rachel laced their fingers together carefully, taking care to bypass the thick bandages. "You and Santana were involved in a wreck." Her eyes flicked over to the Latina on the other bed. Santana and Brittany's attention had turned to look at them. "The person that hit you… hit you on your side. The car flipped from the impact." She slowed down her talking when she saw her wife's eyes close in concentration. "You've been unconscious for two days Quinn."_

_The blonde's eyes snapped open, as best as they could given they're bruised state. "I can't feel my legs."_

_"It's the medicine. They did nerve tests on you when they found the broken bones in both of your legs." Rachel stepped closer to press a chaste kiss to her wife's lips. "I need to inform the nurses that you're awake."_

_Quinn just nodded before turning her attention to Santana and Brittany. Her eyes locked with Santana and the Latina read the look like an open book. "Hey B, can you go get me a Hershey's bar from the vending machine?"_

_"Sure, I'll be right back." She stole a quick kiss before bouncing out of the room right behind Rachel._

_"So what's up Quinn? I know that look." Santana turned herself on her bed. Her injuries weren't as severe as Quinn's. She had some bandages around her forehead and both of her arms. There were also unseen bandages covering her ribs and stomach._

_The blonde attorney let out a heavy sigh before closing her eyes. "I need you to make a promise to me."_

_Santana frowned, she already knew where this conversation was going. "Don't even say it Quinn. Don't you dare say it!"_

_"I have to San. Please… promise me that if anything ever happens to me, you'll protect Rachel like I would."_

_The Latina frowned and closed her eyes to fight off tears. She didn't want to think about it. But in reality they weren't getting any younger and knew they'd eventually have had that conversation. "Only if you promise me the same thing for Britt."_

_"I promise."_

_Santana's eyes turned to look at a sad set of hazel eyes looking back at her. "I promise too Quinn."_

* * *

><p>Santana's eyes stayed closed as she relived the conversation she had with Quinn. On instinct her arms wrapped around the pair even tighter. She was going to step up and take over as Rachel's guardian until Quinn was found.<p>

_If_ she was found.

* * *

><p><em><strong>There you have it folks. Chapter 3, even though according to Fanfiction it's chapter 4. But that's just because of me having a prologue.<strong>_

_**Don't forget your vote. Yes, or no :D This is the last chapter I'm accepting them for. Because I'm already nearly finished with chapter 8 and I need my answers before I start chapter 9. :)**_

_**See you all next week peoples!  
><strong>_


	5. Chapter 4

**_Voting for how this story will go, has officially ended. I must say though, I'm a little concerned now that you guys aren't voting for anything I'm worried I won't get as many reviews :( Please keep the reviews coming even though you're not voting for the outcome of this story._**

**_Final Tally:_**

**_Yes - 32  
>No - 12<em>**

**_Please keep in mind that even though it's going to lead to more angst, the last few chapters WILL be happy ones. I'm currently into chapter 9 with where I'm currently writing... I don't wanna post too much at a time because I don't want to risk falling behind, those of you who've read my other stories know all about that horrid habit of mine._**

**_Anyway! On with Chapter 4 :D_**

**_Beta'd by me, myself, and I. So all mistakes are my own... If someone's interested in beta-ing for me... Feel free to send me a PM or leave a review about it or something. I'm mainly after someone to bounce some ideas off of and to help pick out any spelling mistakes. I'm NOT a stickler for absolutely perfect grammar, it's how I write and people don't seem to ever have any complaints about it. Just remember when messaging me. This is an emotional story. Highly emotional. I'm only looking for one beta. Preferably someone with MSN messenger, since that's what I use all the time.  
><em>**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Chapter 4_**

**_December 24 – 10:00 AM  
>-4 days, 16 hours missing-<em>**

"Where are we going mommy?"

The older woman helped her youngest child into his shirt and knelt down to fix his pants. "We're going to see Auntie Rachel."

His eyes instantly lit up. They hadn't gone to see Rachel since Thanksgiving. "Can Aunt Quinn show me how to throw a spiral if I take my football?"

Eileen frowned. She hated the fact that he didn't understand that Quinn was gone. "She went away for a little while, don't you remember? We talked about this a few days ago."

Alex's eyes narrowed as he tried to remember the conversation. At five years old, it wasn't uncommon that he forgot things within minutes of talking about them. "Where did she go?"

The woman bit her lower lip. It was times like this she wished her children weren't so inquisitive. "Someone took her honey."

"Where did they take her?"

She felt tears sting her eyes. Her mind started to wander to what her own life would be like if something happened to Jeff. She couldn't even begin to imagine what Rachel was going through. "We don't know sweetheart." Her arms wrapped around her son. "I need you to do me a favor alright?"

Alex nodded and pulled away from his mom to sit on the floor to put his shoes on. "What's that mommy?" He began concentrating on tying his shoes.

Eileen knelt beside the boy and began to help him. "When we get to Aunt Rachel's, don't say anything about Aunt Quinn okay?"

"Why?" He frowned.

"It makes Rachel sad to talk about it." And it did. Ever since they found out about Quinn's disappearance they never brought it up. They'd talked on the phone a few times in the last 4 days. Mostly it was Jeffrey checking on Rachel and how she was doing. Every time they'd talk about everything but Quinn. Instead, they just waited for the tiny diva to bring it up. Which has yet to happen. It would be the first time the kids have been around Rachel since Quinn vanished.

Alex hesitated for a minute before smiling. "Okay mommy. I don't like Aunt Rachel sad."

Eileen let out the breath she'd been holding. She was thankful he agreed without an argument. "Come on, go wash your hands and face so we can go."

He nodded and ran out of his room toward the bathroom. Eileen got to her feet and went off in search of her husband.

**_December 24 – 12:00 PM  
>-4 days, 18 hours missing-<em>**

"Rachel, hurry up. Santana made sandwiches. And she's getting antsy because you're taking so long." Brittany called through the bathroom door.

Inside, the shower shut off then Rachel pushed the curtain open. She cursed herself when she realized she'd forgotten her clothes. Today was supposed to be a day where she could relax. She'd agreed to let Brittany take her wedding photo out of her hands and she'd agreed not to touch it while Jeff and his family were there.

"Hey Brittany…" Rachel cracked the door open to look at her friend. "I forgot my clothes in my room. Would you go and get them for me?"

"Of course."

Rachel closed the door again and started to dry her body off. She was trying everything to keep her mind off of Quinn. Quinn… If Quinn was there she'd be standing at the sink brushing her teeth. She would watch as she dried herself off. Rachel smiled softly at the memories. Quinn always seemed to think that Rachel didn't know she was watching. But she knew. She knew every single time. No… She had to stop herself. No thinking about Quinn today.

"Here you go Rach." Brittany helped herself to just walking into the bathroom. It wasn't the first time she'd seen the shorter brunette naked and she doubted it would be the last. "You don't look too good." Brittany frowned. Her eyes washed over Rachel's bare back. She knew the diva hadn't been eating much be she hadn't realized how bad it was until she saw the outline of Rachel's ribs.

"I'm fine Britt. I promise." She wrapped the towel around her body before turning around and grabbing her underwear to start getting dressed.

"Promise me you'll eat a sandwich with me?" Brittany simply waited until Rachel nodded before showing a bright smile. "Great! Hurry up though, Jeff and Eileen are gonna be here soon."

Again Rachel nodded. She looked at herself in the mirror. Brittany was right. She didn't look good at all. If anything, she was starting to look her age. That was one thing she always strived for, to keep her youthful appearance. Over the past five days since she'd last seen Quinn, she stopped caring. She hadn't eaten a thing since the toast Santana basically shoved down her throat the morning prior. She didn't bother with her make-up anymore. Why care? She had nobody to impress. Her hair, though still full and wavy, was dull and lifeless at the same time. With Quinn missing, she just didn't care anymore.

Just as her mind started to wander again to thoughts of Quinn, she heard two very distinct squeals from her living room. Alex and Jessica were there. She hurried to finish dressing and took a deep breath before she opened the door.

"Since someone took Aunt Quinn, can you teach me how to throw a spiral Santana?"

Rachel froze at his words. In the distance she saw Alex look up at the Latina with hope in his eyes. She couldn't be mad at him for such a thing. She knew that Jeff and Eileen had tried to explain it to him. But he was only five. He didn't understand. "Why don't you wait until Quinn comes back? I think she'd get upset if Santana showed you."

Alex looked up, his smile just grew wider at the sight of the brunette. "Rachie!" He ran toward her, his older sister Jessica was hot on his heels.

Her eyes lit up for the first time in nearly a week at the sight of the kids. "Hey guys." She knelt down on the carpet and was nearly knocked over when the children ran into her arms for a hug.

While she was occupied with each of the children's tales of school and friends, Jeff approached Santana. "How's she doing?"

Santana sighed. "She's bad Jeff. This is the first time her eyes lit up like they used to. Thanks for bringing the kids over. She needs this." She turned on her heel to go into the kitchen area.

"No problem at all, the kids love her as much as she loves them." He took a step closer to his friend before speaking. "Is there any word on her?" He made sure to keep his voice down. The last thing he wanted to do was draw Rachel's attention.

"Not a bit. In fact, the search has basically been called off. The trail's run cold." There was a hint of anger and bitterness in the lawyer's voice. "We're all starting to lose hope."

"It's only been five days since she was reported missing. How can they do that?" Jeff gratefully took the sandwich that Brittany offered him. "I can't even begin to imagine her pain."

"That's why we haven't left her side. Not even once. One of us has always been here with her." Santana glanced at her wife, watching as she walked into the living room. In her hands she carried two sandwiches, no doubt one for her and one for Rachel. "Brittany or I have even alternated in holding her as she slept at night. There's some nights both of us have to stay with her to get her to sleep. If not, the nightmares of Quinn are too much and she's up screaming."

Jeff opened his mouth to speak but was cut short by a little girl's question. "Why did someone take Aunt Quinn?" Santana's eyes shot over to the girl who was looking up at Rachel with confusion on her face. The Latina bit her lip. As did everybody else over the age of 10. They watched with baited breath, anxiously awaiting her response.

Rachel knelt back down to look the girl in the eye. The sandwich Brittany had just handed her was long forgotten. "I don't know why sweetheart. I wish I did though."

Jessica frowned and wrapped her slender arms around the older woman's neck. "Do you miss her?"

"Every second... of every day…" She whispered. Her face was hidden by the girl's hair. She was thankful for that because she couldn't control her tears anymore.

"I miss her too. She's okay though. I just know it." As if the little girl knew Rachel's plight, she tightened her arms around her neck. "You can cry if you want."

And she did just that. She cried silently on the young girl's shoulder while everybody else just watched on.

**_December 25 – 1:28 AM  
>-5 days, 7.5 hours missing-<em>**

"Merry Christmas Quinn!"

The blonde slowly looked up at him. She was barely able to hold her head up because she was so tired. No matter how hard she tried, she found she couldn't force her left eye open. She struggled to be able to breathe. Every breath burned her lungs, just like the one before. She was starting to pray each evening for God to take her life while she slept. She didn't want to wake up the next day to face him again.

"I said…" He suddenly clutched her jaw in his hand, forcing her to look at him. "…Merry Christmas!" He spit down in her face, smirking at the whimper that it drew.

"Merry Christmas." She weakly pulled her head away and closed her eyes. It was a vain attempt to stop the headache that shook her head.

He started doing something unexpected. His hands slowly unhooked the shackles from her wrists. "You've been such a good girl Quinnie." He cooed at her. Her few seconds of freedom were gone in an instant when he started placing looser chains around the badly bruised and bleeding skin of her wrists. "Why won't you talk to me?" He started trailing his fingers down the front of her damaged body. He was not happy when he didn't receive a physical response.

A sharp slap to her bare breast drew a harsh hiss from her. "I'm hungry." She spoke. Her voice was weak. She hadn't eaten anything since the morning before. It had to have been after midnight.

"Such a shame, I had a great dinner. You should have been there."

"Fuck you." She weakly pulled on the chains and was pleasantly surprised to find them very loose around her wrists.

He suddenly burst into laughter. "Fuck me? And here I thought you wanted something to eat. Tsk Tsk. Talking to me like that won't get you any food anytime soon." He decided to sit on her upper thighs, causing a wince of pain from the battered blonde. "I'm not going to take your Christmas present from you though. At least you can move around a little bit more. That's it though." He replaced the shackles on her ankles with chains similar to the ones around her wrists. "Shame you only have until New Year's to enjoy it."

"Wh – What?" Her eye cracked open to see a devious smirk on his face.

"Oh poor little Quinn. I'm getting bored with you." He slapped her face a few times, harder than any playful smack before standing up. "Good night Quinnie."

Tears stung her eyes again. According to Jim it was Christmas Day. It was probably only a few minutes past midnight. Even though she prayed nightly to not wake up in the morning, she really didn't want to die. It was conflicting. Quinn wanted nothing more than to go home to her wife. She wanted to go home to a place where she was loved. Yet at the same time she didn't think she could face Rachel or any of her friends after the things Jim had said and done to her.

Finally making her decision, she started to tug on the loose chains. Part of her wondered how stupid he really was. The years in prison made him careless. She realized something, with one more tug on her chain… her hand came free…

**_December 25 – 1:30 AM  
>-5 days, 7.5 hours missing-<em>**

_She was powerless to do anything to stop it. Her hands stretched out in any attempt to stop it. But she couldn't. She was powerless to do anything but watch the knives cutting into her wife. Her eardrums were stuck with the unforgettable sounds of Quinn's screams of pain._

_"Stop it!" She screamed at the man hovering above her wife. All he did was let out an evil cackle before plunging his knife deeper into Quinn's bare chest._

"Quinn!" Rachel shot up in bed. Her entire body was covered in a cold sweat. Fresh tears streamed down her cheeks. In an instant Brittany was up and had her arms wrapped around the smaller girl. "Oh god Quinn!" She hadn't blinked since waking up. Fearing that every time she would close her eyes she would see the torture her wife was being put through.

"Shh. Rach, I got you."

Santana opened the door. From the living room downstairs, she heard the echo of Rachel screaming out the missing blonde's name. She just stood in the doorframe and watched. Brittany was doing all she could to calm down the distraught brunette. The only thing she could do was hold her and wait for her to calm down and slip back into sleep.

"Quinn's not dead."

"How do you know?"

Rachel pulled her head up to look at Santana. "I can still feel her Santana… I can still feel her…" She placed her hand on her chest to feel her own heart beat. "In here, I can still feel her." She turned to look at Brittany. "I just know it Britt." Her eyes closed and she leaned into the blonde's embrace again.

"San will you stay?" Brittany's voice was soft and hopeful as her eyes locked with her wife's. When the Latina nodded she carefully shifted over with Rachel still in her arms to give Santana room to lie down behind her on the king sized bed.

Santana wrapped her arm around Brittany's waist to scoot closer to her. She pressed a loving kiss to the blonde's tank top covered shoulder.

Not another word was spoken between them as they all drifted back to sleep.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Next chapter will be a little happier. I promise you will all like the next chapter :D<strong>_

_**Review for me, tell me what you thought. Give me ideas for later on, you never know what I might use and what might spark some entirely different idea. If you give me something that I like, I'll give you credit.**_

_**Also, it doesn't necessarily have to be for much later, it could be an idea for the next chapter, because I've been trying to add more to the chapters to make them longer for you guys.  
><strong>_


	6. Chapter 5

**_A/N: This chapter contains flashbacks. Happier flashbacks to give a little bit of a break to all the drama._**

**_Don't really have much else to say here, but to enjoy the happy/sappy romance. Just some random flashbacks about happy little moments together. There's one where you get an idea of how Quinn and Rachel got together. Wanted something nicer and more friendly, since it is Christmas in the story.  
><em>**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Chapter 5_**

_She groaned when a bright light hit her eyes. It was obvious that _someone_ forgot to pull the blinds shut the night before. The light beating on the freshly fallen snow was almost blinding. "Quinn." She whined. Her head turned to face her wife and buried itself against her chest. When the woman didn't move she sat up some. "Quinn!"_

_"W – what?" Quinn's voice was dry, full of fatigue._

_"Close the blinds baby."_

_The blonde just groaned. Instead of getting up though, she just rolled to face away from the window. "You go close the blinds. Light's not bothering me."_

_"Quinn! Please."_

_"Nope." The blonde's eyes never once opened. She was rather content with staying just where she was. A smirk came to her lips when she heard her wife huff and felt her shuffle out of bed. _

_Rachel made her way out from under the blankets and hurried to the window. She paused to look at the city streets below. Life was perfect. Her and Quinn had been married just over six months. They'd been in the same apartment since moving to New York right out of high school. That was almost five years ago._

_"Baby…" Quinn rolled onto her back with a huff. "Hurry up, I'm cold"_

_The brunette laughed softly. Once she closed the blinds she stalked back toward the bed. She waited until Quinn's eyes were closed again before she flopped down on top of the unsuspecting woman. "Good morning."_

_Quinn lazily wrapped her arms around the smaller woman. "Morning." She forced her eyes to open again, this time with a smile on her face. "We're not going back to sleep are we?" Her wife shook her head. "Fine." The blonde leaned forward to place her lips to Rachel's._

_"Merry Christmas Mrs. Berry-Fabray." Just saying those words together for the first time made her smile._

_"And Merry Christmas to you Mrs. Berry-Fabray." Quinn started to kiss along Rachel's neck. "Even though you don't celebrate it."_

_"I do too!"_

_"Only for me though."_

_Rachel climbed out of the bed and grabbed both hers and Quinn's robes. "Of course it's only for you. Come on, I'll make you a traditional vegan Jewish breakfast for Christmas."_

_Quinn burst into laughter. That had to have been the most absurd statement she'd ever heard her wife say to her. "Oh I love you Rachel."_

* * *

><p><em>Rachel ran after Quinn. The hallways of McKinley were vacant. She couldn't believe what she'd just seen. "Quinn wait!"<em>

_"Go away Berry!" Quinn was mortified. It was bad enough that Santana and Brittany knew of her habits, but now Rachel knew. Rachel of all people knew her secret._

_"Quinn, can we talk about it?" _

_"Go away Berry!" Quinn repeated louder than before. She barricaded herself in a stall in the bathroom._

_Rachel didn't give up though. After what she'd seen she couldn't just let it go. "Are you gay Quinn?" The only response she got was more tears. "Quinn?"_

_"What?" She snapped._

_"Are you?"_

_Quinn sat on the toilet seat. Her head fell to her hands as she cried. "I don't know what you're talking about Yentl."_

_"There's nothing to be ashamed of Quinn. It doesn't matter that you're gay." Rachel was still attempting to get the images out of her head. She'd forgotten one of her books inside her gym locker. She walked into the locker room just in time to see Quinn's back arch off the bench as she had an orgasm. Compliments of Santana's mouth on her most sensitive areas. What she couldn't shake though, was hearing her own name on the blonde's lips._

_"I can't be gay Rachel. I just can't." Quinn's sobs had subsided, but she still refused to exit the stall. The object of her affection had just found out her secret and was confronting her about it._

_"There's nothing wrong with it Quinn."_

_"Yes there is!" She finally flung open the door and came in eye contact with the tiny diva. "If I'm gay, then I'll have no place to live. My parents will kick me out. I'll lose everything."_

_"It hasn't affected Brittany and Santana."_

_Quinn stepped closer to the brunette. "You don't get it Rachel. Not everybody can have loving, caring parents like you guys do. I know I won't lose my status here. I'll lose everything at home." She started pacing in the bathroom._

_"Why were you doing what you were doing with Brittany and Santana?" Rachel just leaned against the wall. Getting the blonde to open up was going to take baby steps._

_"That's none of your concern Berry!" Quinn glared at the girl before making her way toward the door._

_"I heard you say my name Quinn…"_

_That stopped the Cheerio dead in her tracks. "Whatever you heard was wrong."_

_"Do you like me Quinn?"_

_Quinn could just feel the tears coming back to her eyes. There it was. There was no turning back now. She had two options. Tell Rachel the truth and stop lying to herself, or lie to Rachel and keep living in misery. She lowered her eyes. Coming clean meant she couldn't look at her. "Yea…"_

_Rachel didn't know what possessed her in those six short steps to get her body pressed against Quinn's. She didn't think, she just acted on impulse. Her hands slid around Quinn's neck. Their eyes met for just a brief moment before their lips met in the middle._

* * *

><p><em>"And what is wrong with red?" Quinn was beyond frustrated now. They'd been in the same spot for almost a half an hour.<em>

_"It reminds me too much of blood. Now put them back this instant Quinn." Rachel stooped down to pull a set of sheets from the bottom shelf. "What about these?"_

_The blonde's face fell. "They're yellow."_

_"You're point? Quinn Fabray I happen to like the color yellow, it's bright and cheerful. Unlike how you're acting right now."_

_"Rachel, it reminds me of your room back in Lima." Quinn's hands gripped the handle of the shopping cart. She really hated shopping for anything that wasn't clothing or food. They'd spent far too long in the department store and her stomach was starting to make its presence known to her._

_Rachel's arms folded over her chest. "And please enlighten me as to what was so wrong with my room in Lima."_

_"It reminded me of Big Bird's room." Quinn smirked. It was so easy to get her girlfriend riled up._

_"I resent that!" She threw the sheet set back onto the shelf. "What about the lavender ones? They'll match perfectly with our bedding ensemble."_

_The blonde rested her arms on the cart's handle and leaned against it, watching her love rifle through the different colors. "Whatever you want is fine. Rachel I'm really hungry."_

_"Quinn Fabray, this cannot be a decision left solely to me. You have to sleep on these sheets just as much as I do. I do not want you going to bed every night regretting the color that you allowed me to choose for us."_

_"What's so wrong with the ones on the bed now?"_

_"Nothing, but we need another set, we can't just continue to use the same sheets every day of our lives together."_

_Quinn's stomach was starting to eat itself by that time. Couldn't they just take a break, get some food, then continue this domestic shopping spree in another store? "Fine, I like the lavender ones."_

_"Now you're just saying that so we can get out of here." Rachel huffed before putting them back and picking up the yellow ones again. "I like these."_

_"I do too." Quinn spoke automatically. She didn't care of the sheets were pink with lime green polka dots. All she currently cared about was getting some food in her stomach. She sighed when she noticed the look on the shorter woman's face. "Fine, let's do this. You get your yellow ones, and I'll get my red ones." She couldn't stop her smile from taking over her face when she saw Rachel's eyes light up. Why hadn't she just offered that to begin with? "Now can we go get something to eat? I'm seriously starving here Rach."_

_"That is not my fault. You're the one who chose not to eat breakfast before we left this morning. Now…" She grabbed the front of the cart and led Quinn out of the aisle and into another one, "we need to find curtains for the living room."_

_All Quinn could do was groan. They were never going to get out of there._

**_December 25 – 11:00 AM  
>-5 days, 17 hours missing-<em>**

Rachel was pleasantly surprised when she woke up. It was the first time since Quinn vanished that her dream hadn't been ransacked by nightmares of her wife's death. She smiled softly as she ran her hand over the sheets. The red ones. The same red ones that Quinn wanted to buy all those years ago. The blonde had insisted they put them on the bed because of the Christmas holiday. But for once, instead of crying over the thought of Quinn, she smiled a little bit more. Quinn was always like a big kid on Christmas. Her and Brittany shared the same enthusiasm for the holiday.

Out of routine she reached for the wedding picture on her nightstand and clutched it to her chest as she stood up and made her way downstairs to see what Brittany and Santana were up to. When she turned the corner however, her heart broke some at the sight of the normally bubbly blonde just sitting silently on the floor in front of the tree.

The entire room was quiet as she just looked at the unlit Christmas tree. Christmas was supposed to be a happy time. But how could it be happy when there was someone they loved who was missing. Quinn's disappearance was putting a strain on all of them. Rachel barely talked to either of them. Her and Santana hardly talked unless it was about Rachel or Quinn.

Overall, it was a horrible situation.

"Britt… what are you doing?" Rachel finally spoke after a few moments of silence.

"Just looking at your tree."

The brunette forced a sad smile. "You can turn it on. It… It is Christmas…" A real smile threatened her lips when she saw Brittany's sudden excitement. While she was busy finding the switch to turn the tree's lights on, she noticed the absence of a certain Latina. "Where's Santana?"

Brittany sat back on the floor once she flipped the switch on. "She had to go home to get stuff. She should be back any minute though."

As if on cue Santana walked through the front door carrying a few bags. Each of them was full of gifts. "Hey guys." The Latina frowned some when she saw the look on Rachel's face. She felt bad for going home to get their own presents. Brittany loved Christmas and Santana found herself torn. She wanted to keep her wife happy but she didn't want to upset her friend any more than she already was.

"You two enjoy your Christmas." Rachel was close to tears. Her voice was barely above a whisper. Before she was able to get out of the living room, Brittany grabbed her hand to stop her.

"Rach, we got you something." Brittany hurried to the bags that her wife had brought in. After digging through them she pulled out a small box.

The tiny diva tried to let herself smile when Brittany handed her the gift wrapped in a paper covered in little ducks. "Thanks guys." She was genuine with her words. "But I'm not opening anything until Quinn comes home." She placed the gift under the tree before going back to her bedroom to give her friends time to celebrate the holiday alone.

**_December 25 – 7:00 PM  
>-6 days, 1 hour missing-<em>**

She bit her bottom lip to the point that it bled. Her body hurt in ways it had never hurt before. She knew her left eye was swollen shut, she hadn't been able to see anything out of it for three days. Or what she thought was three days. Honestly, she'd lost all track of time in her dark prison cell. She felt it hard to breath. The warm sensation she felt on her ribs told her she may have some broken bones.

"Sleep tight Quinnie dear."

His sickeningly sweet voice made her want to hurl. She just closed her eyes and waited until she heard the door close behind him. The entire time praying that he hadn't noticed the loose chain around her wrists. After she was sure he wasn't coming back she tugged on the chains, effectively freeing her wrists, but not without a cry of pain as her shoulder popped from the sudden movements. The sound of the chains rattling was almost deafening to her ears but she knew she had to keep going, this could be her only chance. Carefully, yet quickly she worked at unhooking the chains from around her ankles, wincing every time the chains clanged together.

With tears streaming down her face she forced herself to stand up. Hands grasping at the wall as she did so on shaking legs. It had been a week since she last used her legs for anything but kicking at Jim. She felt the bruises that covered the insides of her thighs. The bruises that covered her arms as well as her face, neck and chest. She felt them all. Once she was sure she could walk without falling she limped toward the door which she found to not be locked.

She knew she had to hurry. Jim had never left her alone for longer than an hour or two, especially so early in the evening. She made her way through the first floor of the cabin, not really caring that she was still naked. What dignity could she possibly have had left after the things he'd done to her, the ways he violated her. He touched her in ways that even Rachel hadn't touched her.

A quick search around the room marked her escape route. She spotted a coat rack near the door, as well as two pairs of boots below it. Quinn looked down the hallway before hurrying to the rack, grabbing one of the long black overcoats, she struggled to get her arms inside the sleeves. Her bruised and broken body screamed at the new movement and the weight of the coat. Quinn fought through the pain knowing that the coat would be her only protection against the cold. The workman's boots by the door were tattered and far too big for her, the roughness of the insoles scratched at her cut feet but they were easy to slip into and taking one last glance around the room, Quinn fled out the front door. The first thing she was hit with was a blast of ice cold air, the wind bit at her face and bare legs as she willed her tired body to walk into the cold. Off in the distance she could see the sun setting, it would be dark soon and she wouldn't be able to see anything. She had no idea where she was going but she knew she would rather die in the middle of a New York snow storm then by his hand.

She'd soon lost track of how long or how far she'd actually been walking. All she knew was the sun was gone and the moon was rising up. She took a moment to glance up to the sky, snow was starting to fall.

Freezing. She was freezing. The sun had long gone and the only thing she feared now were bears. She wouldn't be able to react if one were to pounce on her. She hurt too much. Her feet could barely carry her anymore. Her legs gave out from under her when she reached a clearing. Quinn desperately tried to get up but she had no strength left. She let out a frustrated and pained scream that echoed around the clearing, she was giving up hope. Instead of trying to get back up and continue walking she curled up into a ball, trying her hardest to regain any body temperature she had left even as she felt the ice cold snow wetting her coat and sinking into to her.

And when her eyes started to close, she didn't fight it. It was her time to go. "I love you Rachel." She whispered in some vain attempt at her wife hearing her.

* * *

><p><em><strong>:) And that's it for chapter...uh...5..yes 5. lol Sorry I'm starting to get jumbled up. Because I'm almost finished with Chapter 9, but I'm posting chapter 5... And yes, I seriously just scrolled up to make sure it was 5.<strong>_

_**Anyway, I'm babbling. Don't mind me. I'm a little off today. I had to work this morning from 7a-3p. Which is weird because I usually don't work weekends.**_

_**Alright, leave me a review, let me know what you think. And I shall see you in 7 days :D  
><strong>_


	7. Chapter 6

**_Decided to give everybody a treat and post another chapter before Sunday. Part of my decision was also based on the fact that this is a little bit of a shorter chapter. Next chapter will still come on Sunday. I'm trying to get this story written faster so I'll feel more comfortable with posting two chapters a week. I do hope you enjoy :D_**

**_Again, edited by me, myself, and I. So therefore, all mistakes are my own and nobody else's.  
><em>**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Chapter 6_**

**_December 25 – 11:30 PM  
>-6 days, 5.5 hours missing-<em>**

Rachel was sound asleep on the sofa. Santana had just finished covering her up. Brittany was sprawled out on the recliner. On the TV was _A Christmas Story_. The volume was low so it wouldn't wake up the exhausted brunette. It was nearly midnight. Christmas was almost over. They were about to go into calendar day seven of Quinn being missing.

Santana made her way into the kitchen to get both herself and Brittany a glass of milk and some of the cookies they'd baked earlier. She sighed as she remembered trying to get Rachel to join them. It was to no avail though. The diva simply sat in Quinn's chair and stared blankly at the tree.

Once she had two glasses of milk poured and six chocolate chip cookies on a plate she turned to go back into the living room. Her body froze though, when she heard one of the cell phones start to ring. The sound of Broadway music told her that it was Rachel's phone. By the time she made it back to the living room she saw Brittany grabbing it.

"Hello?"

_"Hello, I'm looking for a Mrs. Rachel Berry-Fabray please."_

Brittany felt her heart stop beating for a moment. "Can I ask who's calling?" She locked eyes with Santana before standing and approaching Rachel's sleeping form.

_"Of course. My name is Doctor Sanford. I'm calling from Plattsburgh General Hospital in reference to her wife, Quinn."_

"Oh my god…" Brittany's eyes grew wide. Her hand stretched out to start shaking the brunette. "Rachel… Rach wake up!" Rachel's eyes slowly opened, but she shot up when she saw Brittany on her phone. "Here…"

"He – Hello?" Rachel ran her fingers over her face, trying desperately to wipe away the sleep.

Brittany hurried to Santana's side just as the attorney had put the plate and glasses on the nearby shelf. "They're calling about Quinn…" Santana's eyes shot open. The blonde wrapped her arms rightly around Santana's neck. Both of them listened closely to Rachel's conversation. They couldn't pick out much other then Rachel's occasional words of understanding.

"Yes, thank you so much." Rachel hung up her phone before making a bee-line toward her bedroom. "Quinn's alive!" She called out. She pulled a suitcase from her closet to pack some clothes for both her and for Quinn.

"Where is she?"

"Plattsburgh. It's 5 hours north of here. If I leave now I can get there by morning."

Brittany and Santana exchanged a knowing look before she went out to the kitchen, leaving Santana to help Rachel pack some clothes. "You're not going alone. That's a long drive."

"I couldn't ask that of you guys."

"Rachel, she may be your wife, but she's also our friend." The Latina closed the gap between them when she saw Rachel's bottom lip tremble. "Hey, come here."

Rachel did as she was told and soon found herself wrapped in Santana's strong arms. "She's alive." Tears overtook her. And for the first time in nearly a week, they were happy tears. "She's alive Santana." She clung to the Latina's sweater for dear life, her salty tears soon soaking through the thick fabric.

They just stood there for several minutes before Santana finally pulled herself away and wiped a few of her own tears off her cheeks. "Come on. Let's get packed so we can get going."

Within the hour there were two suitcases loaded into the back of Quinn's SUV. Brittany had also gathered some drinks and snacks for the five hour drive. Rachel had programmed the built in GPS before relaxing into the passenger seat.

Santana had refused to let Rachel drive. The smaller brunette was in too high an emotional state to be able to drive safely through the night.

**_December 26 – 6:00 AM  
>-6 days, 12 hours missing-<em>**

Quinn sat up on her hospital bed. The television was on but she wasn't paying attention. There was too much going on around her. Several nurses had been coming and going since she'd woken up. Doctors had been asking her questions for just as long. She really didn't want to talk to anybody. But she had told them what they needed to know. Her own name, and who to call.

"Excuse me…" Quinn asked gently. She was almost afraid to speak. A few hours ago she would have gotten beaten for asking a simple question. When the nurse looked at her with a friendly smile, she relaxed just a tiny bit. "Can I ask you a question?"

The older woman came up beside Quinn's bed and placed her tray of food on the movable table. "Of course you can dear."

"Where am I?" She never made eye contact with the nurse. There was still that fear taking over her every time she spoke.

"A hospital in northern Plattsburgh, New York." The woman helped Quinn open the packet of plastic utensils then lifted the lid on her breakfast.

She turned to leave so she could deliver meals to everybody else on the floor. "Can I ask something else?" Quinn's voice was barely above a whisper.

"Sure, go for it."

"Did… Do you know if somebody called me wife?"

The nurse nodded. "As far as I know the doctor did last night when you gave her the information."

Quinn nodded, lowering her eyes to her food. She was starving, yet at the same time she wasn't hungry at all. She was exhausted to top that off. She'd only been able to sleep for a few minutes at a time since she initially woke up. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw him. Every little sound caused her to jump. It caused her entire body to tense up. The only sounds in her room coming from the television that she hadn't so much as looked at and the various monitors hooked up to her.

On instinct, her muscles tensed up at the sound of her door opening. She looked up half expecting to see him coming to reclaim her. Instead, the sight made her heart jump.

"Quinn? Oh god Quinn." Rachel entered the room. Tears were flowing freely now that she saw her wife. In the few seconds she looked at the blonde, she almost didn't recognize her. Her left eye was bruised and swollen shut. Her lower lip was busted in two separate places. Rachel's hand came up to cover her own mouth when she saw the bandages that covered most of Quinn's exposed chest and her lower arms. What was exposed was heavily bruised. "My poor baby…"

Quinn pushed her food aside to accept the hug that her wife gave her. She tried her hardest not to tense her body at the touch. But it was no luck. It was going to take some time to get better. A lot of time to get better. Every little touch, every voice, everything reminded her of him. "You came…" It was a tone so soft that Rachel barely heard it. She almost didn't believe that someone would spend so much time traveling just to see her.

Rachel pulled back to examine her wife's facial features. "Why wouldn't I come?" Her hand lifted up to wipe away her own tears, she gently reached out to touch the blonde's face but frowned when she recoiled away from the touch. "What happened to you?"

She just pulled completely away from her wife and turned to look out the window. She knew what happened to her. She just wasn't sure whether or not she could tell anybody. Ever. She didn't want to relive every single moment of it. It was something she didn't think she'd ever be able to get out of her memory. How would she ever even be able to sleep again?

"Quinn?" Brittany's voice rang through the small hospital room. She made her way to the bed. The moment she touched Quinn's bandaged hand, it was pulled away. Brittany only frowned. "Quinn?" Her voice was soft. She couldn't stop her tears from falling down her cheeks.

Quinn just shook her head. She continued to stare out the window. Why hadn't she just died in the snow? She was prepared for it. She was wanting death to take her. It would have been easier. Now… now she had to live with Jim's constant reminder of how easily she'd given up. It only took her three days to start begging for death. Three short days before she started to believe that the only way she'd be reunited with her friends and wife was in the afterlife. She'd been so lost in thought that she hadn't even realized that Santana had entered the room. It wasn't until she heard talking and looked toward the sound that she spotted her closest friend standing along the wall. Tears threatening her eyes as well.

"Can I have a word with you please?" Quinn recognized the woman as her doctor.

Rachel looked at Quinn one more time. She frowned when her wife looked back out the window. "Alright." Her hand brushed against Quinn's when she stood up. The simple touch caused the battered blonde to flinch away. Her lower lip trembled as she followed the doctor from the room.

"I'm Doctor Sanford. I spoke with you last night." She spoke only after they entered a private room.

"What happened to her?"

The older woman sighed. "We're assuming she was kidnapped and tortured. She hasn't spoken anything other than her name and your phone number. While she was still unconscious we ran several tests… blood work and whatnot. Also during our initial exam we discovered dried blood on her upper thighs, as well as lacerations and bruises." She saw Rachel's eyes go wide, the smaller brunette was already following what she was leading to. "There was some evidence of vaginal tearing. We suspect rape, but as I said, Quinn hasn't spoken much more than a few words to any of us."

"Is – Is there anything else?"

The doctor nodded. "She was severely dehydrated, but that can be attributed to the weather and we don't know how long she was actually walking before she collapsed. There were two broken ribs on her left side, and one on her right. She survived quite a beating ma'am." The doctor, on instinct wrapped her arms around the smaller woman when she broken down in tears.

The broken bones were nothing in Rachel's mind. Broken bones heal over the course of a month or two. Cuts and bruises heal over a few days, maybe a week… But such an emotional and physical thing like rape… that takes a lifetime.

"How can I help her?" Rachel wiped the tears from her face and looked up at the doctor.

"Police officers will be coming in tomorrow to talk to her. She's going to need to stay here for a few days. The best thing you can do is to be there for her. The best treatment in this case is just time. It'll take a lot of time for her to heal." She placed a gentle hand on Rachel's shoulder. "Do you have any more questions for me?"

The diva just shook her head. "I just want to be with my wife." She exited the room before the doctor could say anything else to her.

All Rachel wanted was Quinn. Even if Quinn was hurting in the worse possible way, she was alive. She would be there for the blonde through every step of the healing process. No matter how long it took.

"Hey Rach… Britt and I are gonna go find a McDonald's or something to get some breakfast. We'll get you one of those fruit salad things." Santana spoke softly to Rachel when she entered the room.

"Can…" Quinn's voice cracked as she spoke. She instantly sank back further into her bed and waited for the backlash. A backlash that never came. "Can… you get me a sandwich?" Her eyes were locked with the bed sheets she gripped in her hands. She feared talking because she wasn't talked to first. Every time she opened her mouth to Jim, he would strike her.

"Of course. Bacon and egg?" Santana knew her fetish with bacon. She'd had it ever since high school. Quinn just nodded. "Alright, we'll be back soon. Once we find one in this tiny little place."

Rachel watched her best friends leave before taking the seat she recently vacated. "It's going to be alright baby. We're all here to help you." Those words were so hard for her to say. She wanted to believe that everything would be alright, but it was almost impossible.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Don't forget to review! Reviews give me the urge to write faster. Which is a huge deal, considering I'm into chapter 11 ;) Time won't start actually skipping until probably around chapter 12. I'm looking to make 12 the move, then once they're settled, time will start to move faster, instead of 1-2 days a chapter. More reviews = faster writing!<br>**_


	8. Chapter 7

**_Please remember, since you all greedy little people got two chapters last week, doesn't mean it's going to happen again. I have to make sure I stay at least a certain number of chapters ahead._**

**_Again, beta'd by me, myself, and I...BUT...starting next chapter I believe I have a beta, we still have to finish like hammering out all the details. So...yea all mistakes are my own._**

**_Decided to bring in another Glee character for a small part in the story. I was torn between two people to bring in. Hope you all don't mind my choice. You get to find out how Quinn was found._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Chapter 7_**

**_December 27 – 2:18 AM_**

Quinn laid on her hospital bed. Honestly it was the furthest thing from comfortable. Though, anything was better than that snow covered road, or the old dingy mattress Jim had her sleeping on. Sleeping… that's what she should be doing now. It's what everybody else was doing. She turned to see Brittany's head on Santana's shoulder. They were both out like a light in the pair of chairs that were along the window. Beside her sat her wife. Rachel was also asleep. Though only recently. She stayed awake with Quinn just in case she needed anything.

With a shaky, bandaged hand she reached out to touch her wife's cheek. The three of them didn't even hesitate in driving through the night, just for her. The moment she felt the skin to skin contact she retracted her hand almost as if it burned her. She wanted so desperately to find comfort in their arms. Any of the three of them in fact. But comfort never came. Even the tiniest of touches brought memories flooding into her mind.

She remembered every time she'd feel his rough fingers on her cheek… her neck… her chest. Quinn could still feel his touch on every part of her body. She recalled the sickening sensation of his rancid mouth kissing and biting various parts of her skin. If only there was some way to bleach the thoughts from her mind. It wasn't that simple though.

_"It'll get better with time Quinn."_

They all kept telling her. Over and over. All day long. It was a broken record in her mind that instead of breaking, she allowed to play. No matter how meaningless the words felt to her, they still gave her a small sense of comfort. And right now she needed everything she could get.

Maybe once they all got back home. Maybe after her and Rachel finished the paperwork and subsequent move to their new home in Los Angeles. Maybe then it would get better. Just maybe.

Quinn was never one to get her hopes up for anything. Ever since she was a child with hopes and dreams, every single time she'd gotten excited for something, her parents or sister would let her down. She remembered once when she was about 6 or 7, her dad told her he'd take her to Chuck-E-Cheese for her birthday. Of course she got excited. What child wouldn't? But, just like clockwork, when her Saturday birthday rolled around, Russell had to work. It soon became routine where she'd be promised something even as simple as ice cream after dinner, and let down. So hearing Rachel, Brittany, and Santana all telling her earlier that it would get better, she didn't believe it. She wanted to, but she felt she couldn't.

Since the moment they started dating, Rachel had been trying to break that negative habit of Quinn's. It really wasn't working. Truth be told, when you've lost your most basic of human instincts – the will to survive – nothing else mattered. Why try to find the good in things when you've felt like dying? Quinn hadn't told Rachel or the others yet about how she wanted to die. She wanted him to hit her one too many times. She wanted to never wake up. And once she escaped, she wanted the falling snow and freezing temperatures to take her. For once in her life… why couldn't she get what she wanted?

She tried to relax enough for sleep. Her eyes closed on their own. The only sounds in the room were of three bodies breathing and the steady beeping of her monitors. Her mind started to manipulate the sounds. Within seconds of her eyes being closed she felt and heard Jim's breath against her ear. A moment later she saw him above her.

Sleep never came for Quinn

**_December 27 – 10:15 AM_**

"Quinn, there's someone here to see you…" A nurse stepped aside, revealing an unfamiliar blonde man in the doorway.

Quinn instantly froze at the sight of him. She instantly felt uncomfortable with a man in the room with her. Even though her mind told her that nothing would happen. That that man wasn't Jim. "Can we help you?" Rachel spoke up after noticing her wife's panic.

The man stayed near the doorway. He felt a little intimidated by the way the two brunette women were looking at him. "My… my name's Sam Evans… I'm the one that found her and brought her –" He never had a chance to finish his sentence as Rachel threw herself into a hug with the stranger who saved her wife's life.

Even after his statement Quinn's body wouldn't relax. Her brain was telling her it was alright. But her flight mode had already kicked in and she felt the need to get as far away from him as possible.

It didn't go unnoticed by Santana who physically pried her friend off of the poor half-strangled man. "Let's talk outside." She ushered them outside, leaving her own wife alone with a broken Quinn.

"I wish he'd never found me." Quinn's words were so soft that Brittany barely heard them. Instead of responding, she just moved closer to her and sat in the chair that Rachel had just abandoned.

"Come on Rach. Let the poor man breath." Santana pulled her friend away from the taller man. As soon as they'd exited the room Rachel reattached her arms around Sam's neck.

"I want you to tell me everything about when you found her. Please. I need to know everything. Where did you find her? What was she wearing? What were you doing out that late on Christmas?"

Sam looked at the Latina with wide eyes. He was slightly stunned by the small brunette's onslaught of questions. "Don't worry Mr. Evans, she tends to get a bit excitable."

"Sam… you guys can call me Sam…" He made his way to some chairs along the wall. "I was going home from work… I saw this snow covered like… lump in the road." He watched the shorter brunette take over the chair beside him. "So I slowed down. Then I got closer and realized it was a woman…" His mind instantly started to wander back to the moment he found her.

**_December 25 – 8:55PM  
>-Two Days Prior-<br>_**

_His fingers drummed on his steering wheel, matching the beat of the song that played on the radio as he drove along the back road. Sam was on his way home from work. He hated having to work on Christmas Day. It meant time away from his wife and son. But it also meant double time for the eight hours he pulled that day. Extra money meant extra gifts for his wife and six year old. He'd do anything for them._

_"Damn snow." He slowly eased off the gas pedal when he saw the roads ahead of him getting a brighter shade of white._

_His hand reached out to change his truck into 4WD. That's when he saw it. At first he assumed it was just a snow drift. Something that wasn't uncommon in late December. The closer he got the more and more it resembled something other than snow. It was something covered in snow. And whatever it was, it wasn't moving. He shifted his truck to park and put the emergency brake on before sliding on his gloves and exiting the vehicle to check out the lump in the road._

_The closer he got, the more visible a human silhouette became. He spotted blonde hair that was nearly the same color as his own, he saw a long black trench coat covering a lean body. "Hello?" He called out. Suddenly Sam felt the strange feeling that he would be ambushed by mutated creatures from the woods. After shaking off the fact that his wife was right and he watched too many horror movies, he knelt down and rolled the figure onto her back. "Ma'am?" He called out, trying to rouse the woman from her slumber._

_When she didn't respond he pressed his fingers to the pulse point in her neck. She was alive, but barely. Without a second thought he scooped her up into his arms and ran back to his truck._

_During the ride to the hospital he kept glancing at her. Under the battered and bruised exterior Sam could tell she was an older woman, probably nearly 40. He could also tell she was a beautiful woman. How could somebody do something like this to anybody, let alone a woman. Sam felt his blood boil. He didn't know the woman who was unconscious in the passenger seat of his truck, but he felt the overwhelming need to protect her._

_His mind instantly ran to thoughts of what he would do if it was his own wife that went missing. He shook his head before pressing his foot harder on the gas pedal to get back into town to Plattsburgh General Hospital._

* * *

><p>"I stayed here until they told me that they'd called you. She woke up two hours after I brought her in." He wrapped one of his arms around Rachel's shoulder and held the woman tight to his side as she cried. "Do… they know what happened?"<p>

Santana eyed the man up and down for a moment. She took note of his clean cut appearance and the wedding band on his finger. A family man. He had a wife of his own. Santana was always a good judge of character, and her initial reading of the man told her that it was safe. That Sam was one of those few 'good guys' out there who wouldn't lift a finger to hurt a fly. "She was beat pretty bad. Other than that we have no idea. She won't talk."

Rachel finally lifted her head from Sam's shoulder and wiped her eyes. "Look at me. Where are my manners." She politely extended her hand to the man beside her who took it. "My name's Rachel Berry-Fabray…"

"I'm Santana Lopez." Santana just raised her hand to wave at the man. They both received a small smile and wave in return.

"You saved me wife Sam. If – if it wasn't for you Quinn could have… she would have…" She couldn't even finish her sentence before tears overtook her again.

"Rachel?" Santana spoke to get her friend's attention. Once Rachel looked up, the Latina nodded her head toward two approaching police officers. One male, one female. "We should get back in there."

"If you guys don't mind, I'm gonna stick around for a while. I'm concerned about her even though I don't even know her." He smiled softly up at Santana and Rachel who were now standing in front of him. "My wife will probably be by shortly too. I told her everything that happened."

Rachel just nodded. "Thank you Sam." She hurried back into her wife's room just moments before the two cops came in. Sure, Rachel had been warned of the officers' arrival, but actually seeing them brought the true reality of the situation crashing down onto her shoulders. "Good morning."

Quinn's eyes never moved from the sheets on her bed. She was hyper aware of the new people in her room. Her breaths were shaking in and out of her lungs. But she forced herself to remain calm for the simple reason being – they were police officers. "Good morning ma'am." The female officer spoke. "I'm Officer Thompson, and this is my partner Officer Fields, we were hoping-"

"No!" Quinn's voice echoed in the small room. It drew everybody's attention at the suddenness of it. "No. No. No." She kept shaking her head and chanting 'no.' She didn't even react when Rachel gently picked up her hand in an attempt to calm her. It was no good.

"Can we have a moment alone?" Rachel looked up at everybody with pleading eyes. Once the cops and their friends were gone. Rachel boldly cupped her wife's cheeks. "Quinn… Baby… look at me. Please. It's just us. Nobody else. Just us."

Quinn took several deep breaths to get her racing heart back under control. She was torn. Torn between pulling away and pulling the brunette closer. "I can't." Was all she was able to spit out.

"Talk to me baby. You can't what?"

The blonde completely lost it at those words. Her entire body shook with uncontrollable cries. "F – Fi – Fields…" Was all she could get out in between her loud sobs and gasps for air.

Rachel used her thumbs to wipe away the shed tears from her wife's cheeks. She stared deep into sad, broken hazel eyes. "Fields?" The name stuck on her tongue and in her mind. "Jim Fields?" Her eyes widened at the heart breaking sobs that Quinn could no longer contain. It was a name that she'd never forgotten in the last ten years. It was the name she'd heard her wife screaming countless times in the middle of the night as she would wake up covered in cold sweat. "Oh god…"

The brunette moved up to the bed beside her wife and enveloped her tightly in her arms. Quinn's body stiffened but she made no attempt to pull away. She needed the comfort, love, and support that only Rachel's arms and scent could offer to her. "Stay with me." She whispered against a mess of brunette hair that was brushing against her face.

"Of course. Do… do you want the police officers to come back in?"

"Not the man… Please not the man."

"Alright, baby I'll be right back. I promise." It took several minutes before Quinn would even let go of Rachel. Once she did, the brunette hurried to the door and called for Officer Thompson. The older man understood the sensitivity of the situation and excused himself to go and question Sam. "See I told you I'd be right back." Rachel retook her seat on the bed beside Quinn and wrapped her arms securely around the taller woman.

The blonde melted into the touch. A simple embrace she hadn't realized she missed so much until she felt it again. "Hi there Quinn. I was hoping we could talk some." The younger officer took a seat beside the blonde's bed. Quinn just nodded, her eyes closed as she snuggled in closer to Rachel's body. "Do you want her to stay?" Again Quinn nodded. "Alright, mind if I ask who she is?"

Quinn mumbled against Rachel's neck. "My wife."

Officer Thompson nodded before pulling a notepad out of her breast pocket as well as a pen. "You can call me Julia if you'd like." She waited for Quinn to calm down some. It broke her heart to have to see the older woman so torn apart. It was only the officer's second year on the job, and working in a rather small town, the crime of rape wasn't something that was dealt with very often. "Can we talk about what happened?"

Quinn's entire body began to tremble as the memories flooded into her mind again. "Baby, look at me." Rachel cupped the attorney's cheeks and forced their eyes to lock together. "I know it's hard. But you have to tell them what happened."

She just nodded. She didn't want to think about it. She didn't want to think about anything that happened to her over the course of six days. "His name's Jim Fields…" Julia instantly understood why the battered woman didn't want the other officer in the room. "He was suppose to still be in jail…"

"How do you know him?" Julia was busy making notes on her notepad.

"I'm the reason he spent ten years in prison… this is all my fault." Her eyes slammed shut. It _was _her fault. He told her that every single day he saw her.

"None of this is your fault Quinn." Rachel took the blonde's hands in her own, squeezing them to give her the support she needed.

"What was he in prison for?" Julia asked next.

"…for the exact same thing he did to me."

Rachel no longer fought the tears that threatened her eyes. Quinn had just confirmed her fears and the doctor's suspicion of rape. "You mean he…?"

"Six times. Maybe more…" If she just talked without thinking then maybe she'd be able to get it all out. "There were a few times where I think he knocked me out." She started to feel Rachel's tears soak through her hospital gown.

"How did you get out?"

"He told me he was getting bored with me. On Christmas morning he changed my shackles to chains… it was some kind of… of sick present from him. Th – they were loose on my wrists and ankles. When he told me I had until New Years…" Her voice cracked near the end of her sentence. She couldn't talk anymore. She could hardly even think of anything but the Jim's voice and the softness of Rachel's skin. Such a conflicting mixture of feelings was running through her body in that moment.

Julia let out a heavy sigh. "We have to run a rape kit Quinn… to search for DNA evidence…" She watched the blonde's reaction. She hated having to even bring it up, knowing Quinn wouldn't want anybody but her relatives touching her after what had happened with a man that was nearly a stranger to her. When Quinn nodded the officer stood up to go and speak with her partner and get a nurse to administer it.

She didn't want anybody touching her. Hell, she was still torn over the fact that Rachel was touching her. She wanted to run far away, but she never wanted to let go all at the same time. The attorney in her knew how important the kit was to the case to get Jim back in prison where he belonged. She knew the ins and outs of the legal system and knew it was needed. The victim in her didn't want anybody touching her filthy, disgusting body.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Wow, yea I'm realizing how slow time wise this story is going. But I know you all won't mind it being long. Just wish I could get it written faster that way I could post more quickly. Just to give you an idea of how slow time's going...<strong>_

_**Chapter 11 - December 31  
><strong>_

_**Then after that time will start to skip some more...but basically until then each chapter covers 1 day. That's slow, even for me. So I'm currently estimating this to be 30-40 chapters. Not entirely sure as of right now since I'm only on chapter 12 and the drama's getting better...but it's so dangerously close to going right back down the drain :D**_

_**Don't forget to review! You guys have been great on reviews. With an average of 12 per chapter...can we hit 100 reviews with just this chapter? Maybe? That would be 16 reviews for the chapter. I know you guys have it in you. Pretty please? *begs***_

_**Reviews help motivate me to write faster.  
><strong>_


	9. Chapter 8

**_Alright. Survey time again! Don't you all fret though it's not a blind survey. What Glee character would you like them to run into when they get settled into L.A.? I want it to be someone they recognize. Not like how Sam was a stranger, I want the person to be someone they all know._**

**_I need to make a correction to the date in Chapter 3. The flashback says "6 years prior" it should say "7 years prior" I was checking all my dates and it didn't line up with their ages and where the story is currently progressing._**

**_One last thing. Thank you to my new beta Jennception who checked this out for me and is helping me with future ideas and chapters. :D_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Chapter 8_**

**_December 27 – 11:30 AM_**

Now, with Rachel's arms securely around her, she didn't want to move. She couldn't move. Rachel was keeping all the 'bad' away. If Quinn really thought about it, then she'd realize just how childish that thought truly was. Why should she care though? Sure she wasn't at home, but at least she was finally where she belonged… in her wife's arms.

Quinn hadn't really taken much notice to anything other than the gentle touch of Rachel's fingertips on her arm. Or the light whisper of hair that brushed her face every time the brunette moved. Most of all… the scent that belonged to nobody but Rachel Berry-Fabray filled her senses. Staying completely focused on her wife helped ward off any incoming memories.

But… every once in a while one would break through and the attorney would silently cry on Rachel's shoulder. Nobody asked her what had happened – what had sparked it. Quinn couldn't have been more thankful. The people she was closest to were giving her the time she needed to disclose the details.

Rachel's heart broke just a little further with every outbreak of tears from Quinn. The tiny diva knew there was nothing more she could do other than to hold the broken woman. She was at least thankful to be able to do that given how Quinn shied away from her when they'd first arrived at the hospital. The fact that Quinn was allowing her to hold her as she cried showed huge progress. She'd even allowed Brittany to give her a hug before her and Santana left to get lunch for everybody. And, just before they walked out the door, Santana promised a bacon cheeseburger and fries. Quinn's favorite. Rachel wouldn't be surprised if they got her a chocolate milkshake too. Rachel never understood how the blonde could devour a cheeseburger while drinking a milkshake. But, the strange combination made Quinn different in Rachel's eyes. It made her love her that much more.

Rachel hummed one of the songs from her Broadway show while she gently rocked Quinn back and forth on the bed. The song she picked was her wife's favorite. She couldn't stop the first genuine smile in days from taking over her lips when she felt all of the muscles in Quinn's body relax. Rachel even swore she felt the soft vibration of her wife humming along with her. Rachel opened her mouth to sing softly to the last verse. It became the only sound in the room.

A sound Quinn thought she'd never hear again. Just that thought sent her into another round of tears. "I love you Rachel." It was the first time she'd spoken since the nurse administered the rape kit an hour ago.

With those few wimple words it was Rachel's turn to cry. After all the trauma of the past week, the diva was convinced she'd never hear those words again, let alone right from Quinn's mouth. "I love you too Quinn." She buried her face gently in the crook of her wife's neck. She was mindful of the bruising and cuts that seemed to cover every inch of Quinn's body. The last thing she wanted was to cause her any more pain then she was already dealing with.

"I never thought I'd hear you say it again."

Rachel took a few deep breaths to will herself to stop crying. Especially now. Now it seemed like Quinn wanted to talk. Her mind already started running a mile a minute, conjuring up various questions and various forms of the same question that she wanted to bombard her wife with. But… she told herself that she had to keep her inquisitive side at bay. Quinn needed to take things at her pace. If the pace was set for her she might shut right back down. And that was the last thing the brunette wanted. "Me either."

Quinn's eyes opened the moment she felt a hand on hers. Her heart felt like it was beating its way up into her throat. Rachel would never hurt her. After a few seconds of repeating that over and over again in her mind, she was finally able to calm her heart rate and push it back down into her chest. Where it belonged. "He taunted me."

"About what?" Rachel's fingers carefully laced with her wife's and she shifted until Quinn could rest her head on her shoulder.

"About you… about being gay. He kept telling me… that you didn't love me." Her voice cracked some at the memory.

_"That little slut of yours doesn't love you." He laughed bitterly down at Quinn. "You're just her cover so she can screw around with her co-stars. You're just too stupid to see it."_

_"You're lying! You don't know her like I do!" Quinn dared to fight back. But was swiftly dealt a back-hand across her already badly injured face._

_"I'm sure if I ever got to meet her she wouldn't hesitate to open those pretty little legs for me." He unzipped his jeans and knelt on the mattress between the attorney's thighs. "Maybe when I'm done with you I'll head into the city and pick her up."_

_"Don't you dare touch her!" Quinn suddenly bit her bottom lip to fight off the pain he caused her._

"I – I…" Quinn closed her eyes to regain her thoughts after just sharing the first segment of her capture with her wife. Rachel sat there in silence, simply waiting for her to be able to continue. "I told him to do whatever… whatever he wa-wanted to me… just as long as h-he didn't to-touch you." She forced out between shaking breaths.

Two conflicting emotions hit Rachel within a split second of one another. Her heart swelled with love for Quinn, knowing she'd give her own life to make sure she was safe. Yet, at the same time, her heart physically ached at hearing the same horrible things that the attorney had to listen to and deal with. Regardless of how much you love somebody, or that somebody loves you, hearing such derogatory things can make anybody question that. Rachel suddenly realized why Quinn was shocked that they'd driven through the night just for her.

"I love you." Rachel turned to look into one of Quinn's hazel eyes. She noticed how dull and lifeless it was. Her wife appeared to have lost her spark. She lifted her hand to touch the swollen skin around her other eye before leaning in to press her lips against it. The sharp intake of air told her it was too much too soon. Instead, she just wrapped her arms around her wife and laid in a silent room with her.

"Baby steps Rach…" Quinn whispered as her eyes closed. She was exhausted. The lack of sleep from the night before and all the nights over the past week was finally starting to catch up to her.

"I know. Try to get some sleep honey. I'll be right here when you wake up."

**_December 27 – 1:14 PM_**

Santana leaned over to place a kiss on her wife's lips. Ever since they entered the room they hadn't said a word. They were both too afraid that even the slightest of noises would wake up the sleeping pair on the bed. She wrapped her arm around the blonde's shoulder to keep her close.

"I love you." Brittany whispered against her wife's ear.

Santana smiled before placing another gentle kiss on Brittany's lips. "I love you too B." Then there was silence again. Her eyes traveled back over to the pair on the bed. She couldn't help her grasp as it tightened around Brittany's hand. She couldn't even begin to imagine how hard all of this was for Rachel, let alone Quinn.

None of them, save for Quinn, knew the extent of what happened. They only knew the main pieces. Quinn was raped, she was beaten, and she escaped into the winter evening in nothing but a coat and a pair of old boots. Santana wasn't sure if Rachel knew what Quinn had said. About wishing she hadn't been found. Brittany had informed her of the words when they'd gone to get lunch for everybody. Everything was because of one person. Jim Fields. A 47 year old man who should still be in jail.

The more Santana thought about it, the more she was losing faith in the American legal system. How could they have deemed him fit to return to society? After only ten years mind you. A third of his sentence. Her blood began to boil at her own thoughts. What she hated most was the fact that when it all would go to trial… she knew she wouldn't be given the case. As much as she wanted to be the prosecuting attorney and make sure he was sent away for the rest of his god-forsaken life… it was too personal for her. Santana wanted the chance to beat him within an inch of his life. Much like he'd done to Quinn.

A loud scream then a thump of a body hitting the floor drew her away from her thoughts. Brittany was out of her chair and at Rachel's side before Santana exhaled her breath. Quinn's body was still thrashing about on the bed. Her hands were desperately brushing at her own body.

"Quinn." Santana called out to the woman on the bed. But there was no response. Even though her eyes were wide open, she stared right through Santana. "Quinn dammit, look at me!" She was nearly shouting now. She had to pull Quinn's attention to her. She had to pull it away from whatever it was she was seeing. She had to be the strong one… again. Rachel was a crying mess on the floor in Brittany's arms. She'd be no help.

"Get away from me!" Quinn smacked frantically at Santana's hands. Everywhere she looked, it was him. His hands were on her. His voice was filling her ears. She was back in her prison all over again.

"Look at me… Look at me!" Santana cupped her dear friend's cheeks. They were promptly smacked away. Had it been any other situation, Santana would have snapped over being hit. But that only would have made things worse. "Q, please." She begged. Once again she reached out to cup the blonde's cheeks. This time she finally stopped thrashing. The nickname seemed to have broken through her subconscious. "There she is." It was probably one of the most gentle tones the Latina had ever used.

Quinn's eyes slammed shut while she took several deep breaths. When she opened her eyes again she found herself starring into deep browns. "San?" The Latina just nodded. "W-what happened?" She finally turned her head, not enough to pull away from the gentle touch, just enough to look at her wife on the floor. "Did I… oh god."

Rachel stood up from the floor and reached to place her hand atop Santana's on her wife's cheek. "He can't get you baby. It was just a dream." Her words were soft. She watched as Quinn's body physically relaxed under the combined touch. "We're all here for you, baby. None of us are going to leave you. Ever."

"Yea Q. Listen to Rach." Santana made herself comfortable beside her friend on the bed. "Besides… he better sleep with one eye open. Because if I ever see him…" She growled softly through grit teeth. She couldn't even put into words the things she would do to him if she ever saw him.

Quinn allowed her eyes to close and her head to rest against Santana's shoulder. Her hand came up to take Rachel's into her own. Her other hand reached blindly for Brittany. "I love you… all of you." She whispered before her body started to shake with sobs. She was barely able to hear their replies of love over her straggled breathing. "He hurt me so much." The room was silent again. "Not just physically… He made me question everything."

"About what?" It was Brittany's voice. She sat down beside Quinn's legs at the foot of the bed and watched her.

"About love. About my own life." She took a heavy breath. Each of the three woman with her were silent. They waited patiently for her to continue. "I… I wanted to come home." She did… for the first two days. "Then… I didn't." Silent tears slid down her cheeks and started to soak through Santana's plain blue t-shirt. "I didn't want to come home… I wa-wanted to die. It was the only way… t-the only way to… to get him away from me… to get him off of me…" Her voice trailed off. She was done talking.

What she wasn't expecting though, was three sets of arms to wrap around her suddenly tense body. These were her friends. Her life-long friends. She forced herself to handle their proximity. Deep down, she knew they needed the comfort of Quinn's contact just as much as she needed the comfort of their contact.

Their moment was interrupted by a knock on the door before it was pushed open. Soon, a very shy looking Sam Evans appeared to them. He wasn't alone though. To his side was a slightly shorter brunette who was holding the hand of a blonde haired boy. He looked like a mini Sam. "I, uh, hope it's okay we stopped in…"

Quinn's body locked up at the sight of him. Not so much the sight of Sam, but the fact that Sam was a man. "It's fine." She spoke softly.

The woman at Sam's side stepped further into the room. "My name's Lisa. This is our son Thomas." Quinn only made eye contact with her to let her know she heard her. "Sam told me what happened. Are you doing alright?"

Rachel stepped in to save her wife from having to speak too much. "She's doing exceptionally well given the…" she tossed a glance down at the boy, "circumstance."

Brittany and Santana had moved away from the bed and made their way back to their previously abandoned chairs. Neither spoke a word. Instead, they just observed the interactions of everybody in the room. Santana mostly watched for any signs of discomfort from Quinn. At the first sign she would make sure to usher everybody that wasn't family or friend out of the room.

"I made this for you." The boy finally spoke before bounding over to the bed. In his hands he held a folded piece of blue construction paper.

Rachel held her breath, as did Brittany and Santana. All of them waited to see how the woman would react to him approaching. But, instead of freaking out and going into another bought of memories, like they all expected, she smiled. Quinn smiled at the boy. The child brought their Quinn back to them. "What is it?" She finally asked before taking it from him. Her smile only grew when she read the front of the card.

_Git well soon_

She laughed softly at the misspelling, but didn't say anything about it. After all, Thomas was still just a kid. "I love it."

"Really?" His eyes lit up at her words.

Quinn handed the card to her wife to look at before motioning for the boy to come closer. "Yes really."

Thomas helped himself to sitting on the bed by where Rachel was seated. "My daddy helped me write it."

"You're daddy's a great man Thomas." Quinn looked up at Sam who still hadn't moved from the doorframe. Swallowing back the lump in her throat she spoke up again. "Sam, you… you can come in and sit down if you'd like." She was just as shocked as everybody else was when the words left her mouth.

"Are you sure?"

"You saved my life Sam. I think I can trust you." The reassuring hand on hers told her that she was alright. It reminded her that nothing was going to happen and Sam wasn't going to hurt any of them. The room fell silent as the attorney closed her eyes and rested her head on Rachel's shoulder.

"Are you alright sweetheart?" The smaller woman whispered against Quinn's ear.

She was fine. Sam wasn't going to hurt her. After she repeated that to herself a few times she sat back up. "Yea… I'm gonna be alright." She smiled again. It was just a small one that her wife and friends knew was fake. But, at least she was trying.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Don't forget your wonderful reviews. Feedback has been amazing for this story.<em>**

**_Also don't forget to answer my question. Whoever gets the most votes will be put into the story once they get to Los Angeles.  
><em>**


	10. Chapter 9

**_Okay... same question as last time. Which glee member would you like them to meet up with after the move to L.A.?_**

**_Current standings:_**

**_Puck - 3  
>Mercedes - 3<br>Mike - 2 (I'm a little shocked at that one to be honest, but I like Mike too :D)  
>Kurt - 1 (Comes from a non-review vote)<em>**

**_Please take into consideration guys, if you all vote in Puck (I've got nothing against Puck) BUT! it will make things that much harder for Quinn to handle. _**

**_Voting will continue throughout this chapter, and the next chapter. I'm planning on having one more survey throughout this story. That won't come until chapter 15 though. So you have time to prepare for that one :) Chapter 15 you'll also find out what my blind survey was, remember that one at the beginning of the story? Yea, Chapter 15 you'll find out what you all voted yes for :)_**

**_Oh yea... I DID have two more questions. How do you guys feel about me changing the summary? Do you like it better than the original? And last but not least... How would you feel about me changing the title of the story? I'm considering something along the lines of "Something To Remember Me By" Let me know in a review what you think.  
><em>**

**_Anyways, Thanks to Jennception for looking over this and helping me develop future ideas and pushing me to write faster._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Chapter 9_**

**_December 28 – 6:10 AM_**

The television was so quiet that she could barely hear it. Last thing Quinn wanted was to wake up Rachel. The night prior, Santana and Brittany had decided to check into a local hotel. Quinn wasn't mad at them. She knew the pair needed some time alone. More time then the random trips for food could offer them. They also mentioned something about needed to sleep in a real bed.

Quinn had tried to get Rachel to go with them. Oh how she tried. But the tiny diva was adamant about not leaving Quinn's side. And she hadn't left. The entire night she held the blonde close to her as they both slept. Amazingly, Quinn was able to sleep through most of the night. Well, about four hours of it. At least when she woke up she didn't push Rachel away from her and off the bed like she had the day before.

She still couldn't believe she'd actually done that. Once Sam left with his family and Brittany and Santana left them alone, the apologizing started. Every other word out of Quinn's mouth was a 'sorry.'

_"In other news…"_

Quinn's attention became focused on the television when she saw a picture of herself appear in the top left hand corner.

_"New York City's Assistant District Attorney, Quinn Berry-Fabray is said to be in stable condition in Plattsburgh General Hospital."_

Quinn felt all the air in her lungs leave. If Jim watched the news, he now knew where to find her. Before she could get too lost in her thoughts, the picture on the television changed.

_"Suspect Jim Fields is still at large. If you have any information on this man or know his whereabouts, please contact your local authorities. Do not attempt to approach him under circumstances. He is known to be a very volatile and violent man."_

The rest of the woman's report fell on deaf ears. Quinn shut down. Again. This time from just seeing his picture on the screen. She'd been doing so well. Her eyes closed as tears began streaming down her cheeks. She didn't cry out loud though – Rachel was still asleep beside her. A ragged breath though, caused her body to shake and the woman beside her to shift.

"Quinn?"

The blonde tensed up. She hoped she wouldn't wake her wife. She apparently couldn't even do that right. "I'm sorry Rach." Her hand darted up to wipe away the tears from her eyes. "I-I didn't mean… to wake you."

Rachel sat up completely, her arms raising above her head to stretch her tired and sore muscles. "Sweetheart, it's fine. What's wrong?" She managed to spit out her words before a yawn overtook her.

Everything was wrong. Seeing his mug shot plastered on the television only brought everything back to her. Every single insult, every physical attack – all of it remained imbedded in her mind. "He was… I was…" She sighed and took another moment to regain her thoughts. At least she hadn't pushed Rachel off the bed again. "The news was talking about me… and him."

"What did they say?" Rachel dared to place her hand on her wife's cheek. When Quinn turned to look at her she saw a look in her eyes she hadn't seen in years. The lifeless hazel eyes were full of confusion and sadness.

"He's still on the loose…" It was all she said before looking away. The last thing she wanted right now was Rachel seeing the fear and pain that she couldn't mask. She was too emotionally drained to even attempt to hide her feelings. Rachel, though, always saw right through it anyway.

The brunette gently rested her cheek against Quinn's. Her eyes fell shut to simply savor their close proximity. Fear that speaking would ruin it ran through her mind. But, logically speaking, she couldn't remain silent forever. It wasn't even in her nature to go more than a few minutes without saying a word. Unless, of course, she was sleeping, or making love to her wife.

"He can't get you. Not here." Her words were gentle and soothing.

Their positions hadn't changed any. In fact, they'd actually gotten closer. Quinn's arm was wrapped around Rachel's waist and her head was turned so her face was in the brunette's neck. "What about at home?"

"I'll protect you."

"Really?" Quinn sat up to look into Rachel's eyes. The same exact pair of chestnut eyes she fell in love with over 20 years ago.

"Of course. We're moving in January anyway Quinn. To the other side of the country. Do you have any idea just how heavily populated Los Angeles truly is? And besides, with all of the locks we have at home and the top notch security system, there is no way he's getting anywhere near either-" She was cut short when I familiar set of lips pressed against her own.

The kiss only lasted a few short seconds but it conveyed every emotion that Quinn was feeling but couldn't find the words to express. There was no rush – no push for anything more. Quinn's hand lifted to rest on her wife's cheek as their lips danced perfectly against each others. Neither one was in a rush to open their eyes when the attorney broke the kiss and allowed her forehead to rest against Rachel's.

"I love you."

Rachel's heart fluttered at hearing the words fall effortlessly from Quinn's lips. "I love you too Quinn."

She felt the few tears slide down her cheeks, yet made no attempt to wipe them away. "Everything will be alright… right?" Quinn barely whispered.

"It will just take time. And I'll be there throughout everything." Rachel dared to place her lips against Quinn's briefly. She was thrilled when the blonde didn't flinch away from it.

"Promise?"

Rachel smiled softly before brushing her wife's tears from her eyes. "I promise."

**_December 28 – 10:30 AM_**

"I can't believe we slept so long!" Brittany exclaimed as she climbed out of the passenger side of Quinn's SUV. She hardly waited for her wife before practically running inside.

Santana was right behind her as they walked the familiar path to Quinn's room. "Not my fault the alarm clock wasn't working!" One of the things the Latina had always hated, was oversleeping.

Brittany froze in her spot when she came to their friend's door. "Quinn?" She was quickly joined by her wife and they both looked on as Quinn took slow, carefully steps around the room. It was the first time they'd seen her out of the bed since their arrival.

Each step showed a clear glimpse of pain in Quinn's face. It was obvious that her ribs were still badly damaged. The blonde winced with each labored breath she took from exerting herself. "Can I sit down…" It came out as more of a command rather than a question as she reached toward her bed for a little bit more stability.

Dr. Sanford smiled before closing the file in her hands. "How do you feel about heading home tomorrow morning?"

How did she feel? Quinn looked at her doctor before turning her eyes down to the floor. She felt safe in the hospital. Jim couldn't get to her while she was there. What about when they got home? What if he was already there waiting for her – waiting for them.

"Do you think she's ready?" Rachel sat down beside Quinn. Over their years together the brunette had developed an uncanny ability to know exactly what her wife was feeling. Given the right circumstance. And this conversation fell into that circumstance.

"I'm fine." Quinn spat out. She just wanted the conversation to stop. "I'll go home tomorrow." She kept her eyes downcast as she shifted back onto the bed. She didn't pay much attention to what was happening around her then. Her mind was too focused elsewhere. Mostly, it was stuck on Jim.

Jim was still on the loose. Not only in the world but also in her mind. He was always there. Everywhere she looked – him. Every sound she heard – him. Every time she closed her eyes – him. Yes, Quinn was well aware that it would take a while to get better. She just wished she knew how long. She would be fine for a few hours, then the slightest of noises, or phrasing would bring everything crashing back down. It was a struggle that she wasn't sure how much more of she could handle.

"Why don't we go out for a while Rachel?" Santana was just as good as Rachel was when it came to reading Quinn. "There's this little coffee shop down the road."

Rachel looked over her shoulder at Quinn before letting out a sigh. Her wife was gone – completely lost in her thoughts, again. The blonde just starred at her lap – her fingers fumbled with the sheets covering her legs. "I don't want to go."

"Please, just go Rach."

She found herself looking at the attorney. The volume of her voice was so soft that Rachel and the others barely caught it. There was no fighting with Quinn. There never was. Not even when they were younger, when the blonde had her mind set to something, she would do it. It was always her way or no way at all. After gently squeezing Quinn's hand, Rachel stood up from the bed, grabbed her purse from the floor near the wall, and followed Santana out of the hospital room.

The blonde glanced up to watch her best friend and wife leave the room. The only person left behind was Brittany. Which, honestly, Quinn didn't really mind. The dancer was never really one to speak unless spoken to first.

Several minutes passed by in silence. Quinn didn't know what to do. She honestly just wanted to be completely alone with her thoughts so she could cry. Yet, on the other hand, she needed the comfort of someone. Having finally made her decision she climbed out of her bed and walked slowly toward her fellow blonde. She barely made it before collapsing onto her lap and crying.

"Quinn, what's wrong?"

"Just… hold me please?" The broken woman barely chocked out between sobs. She had no idea what had come over her… well, she did, but was unsure whether or not she could vocalize it. The truth was, she was petrified to go home. She wanted to, oh how she wanted to. But with Jim still on the loose, he could strike at any moment. He could simply watch her or Rachel – waiting for a moment when they're completely alone, then strike. The mere thought alone sent her further into her crying fit.

"You ready to live in L.A.?" Brittany smiled softly. She hoped that a change of topic would help to soothe her friend.

Quinn sat up some to get a better look at the taller blonde. "I'm ready for a change… Even more so now you know?"

"Yup!" She bounced excitedly for a moment. Suddenly, she wasn't very sure if she should tell her what her and Santana had been talking about.

"We're gonna miss you guys you know." She rested her head down against Brittany's shoulder and relaxed.

"No you won't." She bounced again. She just couldn't take it anymore. Santana wouldn't be mad at her for telling… would she? Brittany didn't think so because she remembered her wife telling her she'd talk to Rachel first, and then Quinn. "I gotta tell you something Q."

**_December 28 – 11:25 AM_**

Rachel threw her friend a grateful smile and accepted the cup of hot tea. "Thanks…" Her fingers circled the top of the cup, her eyes never leaving it. "Why did you draw me away from my wife?"

"You needed to see something other than those four walls and the view from the third floor." She took a sip from her own cup. After gagging and coughing, she reached for two packets of sugar to take away some of the bitterness.

"20 years ago, if someone told you you'd be having coffee with me, you would have killed them."

The simple words made the darker woman chuckle. "20 years ago if someone even said mine and your names in the same sentence, I would have killed them… But, if you remember… when Q started to like you, I backed off. Big time."

"The slushies stopped, but not the names or insults." Rachel finally pulled her eyes away from the top of her cup to look at Santana. She'd always enjoyed moments like this with the fiery Latina. When it was just the two of them and Santana would let her walls down.

"How could I not? Come on now, you really did look like a bait girl on _To Catch a Predator_." She didn't hesitate in shooting right back. "Thankfully though, Quinn took you shopping Senior year and reworked your entire wardrobe."

Silence fell between the pair again. It was a comfortable silence though. They were both perfectly content with sipping their own drinks and just watching random people pass by on the sidewalk. But, something was still eating away at her. She knew there was some ulterior motive for this coffee trip. But she also knew that the attorney wouldn't start the conversation without some kind of motivation.

"Why are we getting coffee? Couldn't we simply have acquired some for everybody and taken it back to the hospital?"

"We will take some back for B and Quinn, don't worry. I just… I wanted to talk to you is all."

Rachel smiled softly at her friend. "Well, we are currently talking right now Santana."

"Not what I meant Berry."

"It's Berry-_Fabray_now Santana. If I remember correctly, there was a wedding a few years back. I even recall you being there. Wait, you were, you were Quinn's maid of honor." Rachel's eyes lit up with laughter at the scowl on Santana's face. She'd almost forgotten how easy it was to irritate her friend.

"It's Berry when ya bug me." The cup in her hands came to rest on the table before she leaned a little closer to the diva. "Britt's and I have been talking." Those words caught the shorter woman's attention. "About you and Quinn moving to L.A… We're leaving on the 15th right?" Rachel nodded. Santana let out the breath in her lungs – emotional things were never easy for her. "Would you guys mind if we crashed with you for a few days? Maybe a week or so?"

"Of course. You two are welcome anytime. Quinn and I figured that you and Brittany would at least want to see the sights before flying back home. And opening our home to you guys is the least we can do to thank you for helping us drive both the vehicles across the country."

Santana let out another sigh. It was then that Rachel knew something else was on her mind. "Not exactly what I was hinting at Rachel." Her eyes glanced down at the cup that was cradled in her hands for a short moment before looking back up to meet Rachel's eyes. "We want to look for houses…"

"Wait… what?"

A hearty laugh escaped her lungs at Rachel's expression. If it hadn't been for the seriousness of what she was saying, she would have commented about Rachel's inability to respond in paragraph form. In other words, her statement left the diva speechless. "Didn't know you were deaf. I said we want to look for houses."

Rachel's eyes closed for a few seconds while she attempted to digest what Santana had just told her. "You two want to move too?"

Though she would never actually admit it to anybody other than Brittany… she'd be lost without Quinn in her life. Over the years Santana had even become more attached to Rachel. She even laughed softly as she recalled Rachel's earlier words. The diva had been right. Had anybody told her 20 years ago she'd be sitting in a coffee shop getting a drink with _the_Rachel Berry, she would have killed them. Unless, they added in that she'd be throwing said drink in the annoying girl's face that is.

"Yea, guess we do." Santana found herself shrugging it off as if it was no big deal.

Rachel leaned back in her seat, a smirk on her face. "I knew you loved me."

"Don't push your luck Berry."

"Need I remind you… yet again… There was a wedding-"

"I know, I was there in that sexy red dress at Quinn's side eying Brittany while you and Q made out in front of 121 people. I remember." Santana rolled her eyes but smiled anyway. Over the years she'd matured a lot. Even Rachel's incisive, repetitive comments couldn't irritate her the way they did back in high school. Rachel had grown on her. Yet another thing she'd never admit to anybody. "Britt's and I just want a change. That's all."

"That's an awfully big change though Santana." Rachel stood from the booth, watching her friend just shrug her shoulders in response. "Can we get back to Quinn now? I really miss her."

Santana only nodded before going back to the counter to get fresh coffee for everybody to take back to the hospital. "Rach… she's gonna be okay ya know."

* * *

><p><strong><em>Don't forget to review! I love reviews :D They make me smile, always have.<br>_**


	11. Chapter 10

**_Okay... same question as last time. Which glee member would you like them to meet up with after the move to L.A.?_**

**_Current standings:_**

**_Puck - 5  
>Mercedes - 5<br>Mike - 7 (Includes a PM vote)  
>Kurt - 3<br>Shelby - 1 _**

**_I'm actually REALLY shocked about Mike. Not that I'm complaining. The guy's like a total sweetheart. Since it appears as though Mike's going to win. How would you all feel about Tina coming along with him, like they're married with kids and whatnot? Just another question to throw out there._**

**_Voting will continue throughout this chapter, and the next chapter. Okay, since I'm struggling a bit with Chapter 14, I'll continue to allow votes for Chapter's 10 and 11. Since they won't meet up with the vote winner until chapter 16 or 17. _**

**_Don't think I'm going to change the story title, since that would mean I'd have to edit every single chapter that I've already got posted, and honestly... I'm just too damn lazy for that lol._**

**_Anyways, Thanks to Jennception for looking over this and helping me develop future ideas and pushing me to write faster._**

**_Last thing... You get to see what happened on the day of Quinn's disappearance! _**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<em>**  
><strong><em>Chapter 10<em>**

**_December 29 – 10:00AM_**

Quinn hadn't said a thing since she'd woken up nearly three hours ago. She knew the doctor was releasing her to go home. Releasing her to leave the confines of the hospital – the safety of the hospital. She was expected to just go home. Pretend nothing happened. Live her life like normal. How was she supposed to do that? How could she possibly live her life like normal, not with all the memories nor the thoughts. The thoughts alone made her body tremble with fear.

"Honey? Are you alright?" Rachel gently placed her hand atop her wife's when she noticed the blonde's body shuddering on the bed. They'd all been patient with Quinn, each allowing her silence. So, when the attorney didn't respond, in any way other than to pull her hand away from Rachel's… Rachel took no offense. Instead of pushing it, she just let out a sigh and looked away. It pained her that she couldn't do anything at all to help her wife.

The room once again fell quiet. Brittany and Santana stayed in their normal seats near the window. Every once in a while a light murmur could be heard from that side of the room. It was never more than just a hushed word or two before everything went silent once more.

Quinn allowed her eyes to look around the room. She tried her hardest not to give any signs to the fact that she was looking around. Last thing she wanted was three sets of worried eyes turning on her. All she wanted was to be treated like they'd treated her before Jim happened. Ever since they first arrived, she'd been torn between two very conflicting emotions. There were some moments where all she wanted was for them to hold her and just let her cry. Any of them. But, like now, Quinn wanted them to just leave. She didn't want them to see her broken and fragile. She sure as hell didn't want their pitiful looks or compassionate gazes. She was Quinn 'Fucking' Fabray… well Berry-Fabray now… but that was irrelevant to her past and her past ability to hide her emotions.

She found herself hardly telling her wife about her cases since she put Jim away for his crimes. Over the last ten years her job had really taken it's toll on her emotional status. Quinn had really considered going into a different field of law once they moved to California. Especially now that one of the crimes she'd dealt with had affected her. She was no longer a prosecuting attorney. No. She was a victim. A victim of a horrible crime.

"Good morning Quinn…" Doctor Sanford scanned the room. She wasn't surprised when she saw the other three women in the room with her patient. "…Everybody." She added with a soft smile. "How are we doing today?"

Just as she'd done all morning, Quinn hadn't said a word. Her eyes, however, did return to her hands that rested on her lap. "She hasn't spoken a word all morning. Are you positive that it's best to allow her to leave doctor?"

"Returning home will help with the entire healing process Rachel. She'll be able to be surrounded by friends and family. As well as being in a familiar setting." She jumped some when Quinn's head snapped toward her.

"The 'healing process?'" She let out a rather bitter laugh. "Being in a familiar setting? I don't have amnesia." Everybody remained silent as Quinn continued to speak for the first time all day. "I was raped. I was beaten to the point I blacked out several times. I woke up to being spit at and smacked around. So when you say 'healing process' it makes it sound as if I'd fallen on ice and broken my ankle. If only that were the case. I wouldn't have ended up in some tiny little town near Canada. Going home won't help the healing process. Staying here won't help the healing process. Dying would help though. It would get rid of everything that bastard had done to me." Quinn dared to look at her wife who had silent tears flowing from her eyes. "Nothing will ever undo the filth that I feel." She looked down at her lap once more. "Just sign my release papers so I can go start my 'healing process' at home."

Brittany gave Santana a knowing glance before she stood from her chair and walked to the bed. She carefully sat near Quinn's hip and wrapped her arms around her neck. Every time Quinn struggled against the grasp, the dancer would just tighten it. "Calm down Q." She whispered softly against her ear – making sure only Quinn could hear her. "It _does_get better. Trust me." She bit her lower lip when Quinn still didn't relax under her touch. "Only Santana knows this…" she pressed her lips against Quinn's ear before continuing, "I know it gets better… I've been there."

Quinn's eyes widened in disbelief but not a word left her lips. She only relaxed. The entire time her mind was racing. No longer was it lost in thought about what had happened to her. No… it was wandering to who would have done something like that to sweet, innocent Brittany. Once she forced the last of her muscles to relax, she allowed her head to rest on the dancer's shoulder.

**_December 19 – 6:00PM_**  
><strong><em>-Day of Disappearance-<em>**

_"Damn construction." Quinn cursed as she drove around to the side of the shopping strip in search of a parking space. The pavement in front of the florist was completely torn up. They sure did pick the best times of the year to repave surfaces. "Finally!" She let out a heavy sigh when she found an empty spot._

_After she double checked her time on her phone, she grabbed her purse and exited her SUV. Quinn knew she'd have enough time to pay for the flowers, make sure they were delivered, and get to the theater before Rachel's show was scheduled to start at 7. Upon entering the floral boutique she was greeted by the overpowering scent of various flowers. So much so that it caused the poor attorney to gasp for air moments before sneezing. In small quantities, Quinn was fine with any scent. Three more sneezes later and she knew she'd have to make it quick._

_"How may I help you today ma'am?" An older woman spoke from the other side of the glass counter._

_Quinn opened her mouth to speak but was only graced with another sneeze. Something the clerk found humorous. "I placed an order, Berry… Fabray." After placing her purse on the counter she dug through it for two things. One, her wallet. Two, a tissue or something similar to cover her mouth and nose with. "I'm… a tiny bit allergic." Quinn's voice became muffled after she covered her mouth._

_"Don't worry about it sweetheart. I understand. If you'll give me just one moment, I'll get the arrangement for your final inspection before we deliver it."_

_Quinn only nodded. When the clerk vanished into the back, the attorney grabbed one of the cards and a pen to write a small note to Rachel._

To my love,

This may be your last performance on the big stage before going to the big screen, but I know you'll be perfect. As always.

Yours,  
>Quinn<p>

_Just as she finished writing she spied the bouquet of roses. Quinn couldn't hide her smile. "It's perfect."_

_"Alright. And just to verify," she pulled the taped piece of paper off the vase to read it, "deliver to a Mrs. Rachel Berry-Fabray. Agiston Theater. Broadway?" She waited for Quinn to nod before punching some keys on the register. "Alright dear. Total is $47.63."_

_The blonde nodded once again, she was afraid to try to speak. Honestly – as she handed over one of her credit cards – she was shocked she was still breathing. "Can you make sure they're there before 7?"_

_"Of course." The older woman ran Quinn's credit card through the machine. "Are you heading there now?"_

_"I've got a front row center seat. It's my wife's last Broadway show." She paused to sneeze into her tissue. "Nothing will make me miss this show."_

_The clerk laughed softly before she slid the slip along the counter for Quinn to sign. "We'll make sure she gets these before she goes on stage."_

_"Thank you." Quinn slid her card back into her wallet before tossing the wallet into her purse. "Have a good evening."_

_"Enjoy the show!"_

_Once outside she removed her makeshift mask from her nose and mouth and took a huge breath of air. Now that that torture was finished, she could get to Rachel's show and to her seat before it started._

_As she made her way across the parking lot, she dug her keys out of her coat pocket. Quinn had just over a half an hour to get to the theater. Providing traffic, which wasn't that heavy this time of the evening, she should make it with about ten minutes to spare._

_By the time her mind registered someone else's heavy feet in the snow covered pavement behind her, it was too late. The last thing she remembered was the cracking feeling in the back of her head._

* * *

><p>Quinn shot up from where her head was laying on Rachel's lap and began to look around. The first thing she noticed was the passing scenery through the window. "No." She whispered. It was all the same. Waking up with a jolt, feeling her head throbbing, the moving vehicle. She was believing she was going through it all again. "No." She nearly screamed before pushing the body nearest to her away and curling up against the door.<p>

"Quinn… baby?" Rachel turned to look at her wife. She hated nothing more than not knowing what to do. There was absolutely no way of knowing if she were to touch the woman if that would make things better or worse. It was like ten years ago all over again. They made it through that, Rachel was determined to see them make it through this.

Brittany turned around in the passenger seat to see her best friend with her eyes sealed tightly. "Hey Q, look… we're almost home." She spoke gently, also afraid if she touched her fellow blonde it would make it worse.

After a few deep breaths, her hazel eyes finally opened. It's when she noticed for the first time that she wasn't in the back of that utility van. She noticed her vision wasn't blurred from the splitting headache that had caused her to black out again after just two or three seconds. She did, however, notice three other people surrounding her in her own vehicle. Quinn was safe. Safe in her own personal SUV. Cautiously, she turned her head to her wife.

"Did… did you get the flowers I'd sent?"

'What flowers?' Was the first thought in Rachel's mind. Then she wondered why Quinn was bringing up the flowers. In her mind she quickly ran through the events of the last ten days. She finally registered what her wife was referring to. "Yes, I did Quinn. They were quite lovely, thank you."

"Good." The blonde cracked a half-hearted smile. "Because you're never getting them again unless I buy them online." Her eyes closed and her head rested back against the seat.

"Why is that?" When Quinn made no attempt to answer or even move, she assumed the blonde had fallen back to sleep. She surely couldn't push the subject with a sleeping wife. "How far out are we?" It was definitely too quiet in the car now for Rachel.

"Half hour. Give or take." The Latina was forced to bite the inside of her lip as yet another driver cut her off. Yelling like she normally would have, was strictly out of the question. Even if all the tourists flocking the New York City area for New Year's were total assholes. Yelling would only spark memories for Quinn. "If people would learn how to drive we'd be okay." Her fingers tightened on the steering wheel to the point that her knuckles were almost white. "Like this one in front of me should just turn his pretty little Porsche around and drive right back up to Quebec."

Before Santana had a chance to continue her oddly calm ranting, Quinn jumped in. "He got me right after I paid for the flowers." She never bothered to open her eyes or move her head. "I remember everything up until the hit on the back of my head. Then… I woke up for a few seconds to see I was in some utility van." Her voice was unusually calm and serene. After that though, she was done talking but she allowed her eyes to open and her head to turn to the side so she could watch the passing houses and skyline off in the distance.

It only took two short minutes of silence before Brittany reached out to turn the radio's volume up. It was in the middle of a song. The song was the only sound in the car until Quinn opened her mouth. It wasn't in protect, she opened her mouth to sing softly to the song's chorus.

_And just…_  
><em>Let her cry… if the tears fall down like rain<em>  
><em>Let her sing… if it eases all her pain<em>  
><em>Let her go… let her walk right out on me<em>  
><em>And if the sun comes up tomorrow<em>  
><em>Let her be… Let her be<em>

Her voice trembled as the lyrics left her mouth. She was unable to sing anything past that as tears and sobs overtook her body. Nobody said a thing, or even offered to change from the oldies radio station. They took the lyrics she was able to sing to heart and did just that…

Let her cry.

**_December 29 – 5:45PM_**

The moment they'd all arrived at Quinn and Rachel's house, the blonde went right into the bathroom to take a shower. Brittany and Santana carried the suitcases into the home. "You guys should really go home. You haven't slept in your own bed in over a week." Rachel pleaded with her friends.

"Like hell. We're not going anywhere Berry. Besides, your recliner's kind of comfy ya know." Santana's arms folded over her chest as she stared down her dear friend.

The shorter brunette sighed. She really hated fighting with Santana, but she wasn't about to cave, not about this. "Quinn's first night back at home should be as normal as possible. And since the two of you don't stay that often… please just go home."

Brittany placed her hand on her wife's shoulder. "Rachel's right San." She gave the Latina a look that could never be denied. "I kind of miss our bed. It's probably all lonely because we haven't been home in so long. What if it tried to suffocate itself with the pillows?" She stuck out her bottom lip in a pout. It was mainly to seal the deal that she was going to get what she wanted.

"Fine! But…" she pointed her finger right at the shorter woman, "if you need anything… You'd better call us. Got it?"

"Dually noted Santana." The Latina didn't look too amused by her wording. "Alright, I promise to call one of you if something happens." She accepted both of the hugs she was given before bidding her friends a safe journey home. Once Santana's car was out of their driveway she took a deep breath. 'Treat Quinn normally.' Rachel remembered one of the private conversations she'd had with the doctor. _Don't necessarily act like nothing happened, but let Quinn be the one to bring it up._Rachel sighed when she heard the shower cut off. Now was the best time to put Doctor Sanford's words to action.

The blonde emerged from the bathroom with a t-shirt and flannel pajama bottoms on while towel drying her hair. Instead of following her first instinct and just locking herself away in the bedroom she took a deep breath and made her way back down the hallway. When she saw nobody but her wife, she was thankful. Granted, she loved Santana and Brittany almost as much as Rachel, but she just needed time alone.

"What would you like for dinner Quinn?"

"Anything you make is fine…" her voice trailed off as she watched her wife go into the kitchen and rummage through cabinets, "where did Britt and San go?" She followed the brunette into the kitchen and sat at the table, simply watching her move around with ease. She hadn't realized how much she missed the simple things in life until she witnessed them.

"Sent them home." Rachel turned to catch her wife's eyes just in time to see her nod her head. "I was thinking… while we eat we could watch a movie." She took her time to gauge Quinn's reaction. "Maybe _A League of Their Own_? I know how much you love Madonna in it."

Quinn just smiled softly. Rachel was right. She did have a soft spot for Madonna playing baseball. "Sounds good to me."

For a split second, Quinn had completely forgotten everything that had happened to her. Just a split second. That brief moment, however, told her that Brittany was right. Everything would be alright in due time.

* * *

><p><em><strong>A League of Their Own is my own favorite movie, and I love Madonna playing baseball in it :D<strong>_

_**Song is "Let Her Cry" by Hootie and the Blowfish, in case you didn't already know.**_

**_Don't forget your votes people! Who would they meet up with once in Los Angeles?_**

**_And if Mike wins, should Tina come with him?_**

**_Last thing... the next chapter is New Year's Eve... Lots of happier times, and a tiny bit of drama. Figure I needed to throw in a happier chapter every once in a while. Oh, and it's also 4,300 words. So I know you guys will be happy about that._**

**_Keep the reviews coming... please? Pretty please? :D_**


	12. Chapter 11

**_Well... I don't think I'll need to continue the voting through this chapter too. Since I'm currently into chapter 17 writing, and Mike is starting to blow away the competition. Standings:_**

**_Mike - 11  
>Puck - 6<br>Mercedes - 5  
>Kurt - 3<br>Shelby - 1_**

**_So I think it's safe to say Mike's the winner. _**

**_Anyways, Thanks to Jennception for looking over this and helping me develop future ideas and pushing me to write faster._**

**_This is going to be a bit of a happier chapter. A nice little break from all the drama of the story. Next happy chapter isn't coming until 14. Which will be posted on Christmas Day. Did that on purpose, otherwise one of the most depressing chapters I've EVER written would be posted on Christmas. BUT The week of Christmas you all can expect to get treated nicely by me. That's ALL I'm saying :D_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Chapter 11_**

**_December 31 – 6:15PM_**

"Quinn?" Rachel called out in frustration from the kitchen. Her attention was focused on the shelf just out of her reach that contained the last items needed for their mini gathering for the new year. Champagne glasses. Glasses that were taunting her now. She scowled at them before turning to call for her wife again. "Qu – oh jeez!" She stumbled backwards with her hand over her chest when she literally collided with the blonde mid-turn. "You frightened me." The words came out along with a heavy exhale of air to calm her nerves.

Quinn gently placed her hand on the smaller woman's waist to steady her. "Sorry." After just a few seconds she retracted her touch. "What did you need?"

"You put them up there last year." Her hand flew up to point to the glasses above her head. "You can get them down for me so I can wash them." She didn't miss the small smile on her wife's face. The smiles were still rare, as was laughter… even talking was a hot commodity. It was all slowly getting better with each passing day.

"Not my fault you're short."

Rachel wanted so badly to smack her wife's arm for the comment but used every ounce of self restraint she had to refrain. "It's not my fault either Quinn. I cannot help the fact that I acquired a slightly smaller stature than your average woman." She plucked the glasses from her wife's hands as she pulled them down. "Why exactly did you put them up there?"

Quinn let out a small laugh. "So you wouldn't break any more of them like last year."

Rachel blushed at the memory. It was a vague memory to her, but everybody else seemed to remember it like it was just yesterday.

**_December 31  
>-1 year prior-<em>**

_Everything had been going beyond perfect in Rachel's life. Her manager had recently informed her that he'd been contacted by Paramount Studios because they were interested in the Broadway starlet for an upcoming movie. Rachel was ecstatic to say the least. She had never really given thought to Hollywood before, but since they were coming to her she thought she'd give it a try._

_"Hey there." She flung her arm around Santana's shoulder and leaned in close to her. Rachel had already forgotten what drink she was on and it wasn't even 11PM yet. "Do you know where my wife is?"_

_Santana turned herself and the diva around to look at Quinn who was currently sitting on the sofa chatting with Eileen. "She's right over there."_

_Rachel's eyes narrowed for a few seconds to try and get them to focus on the mass of blonde hair that was her wife. "Looks like she's having fun…" She trailed off. Honestly she felt as though she was being ignored. "Dance with me." It was more a demand rather than a request. One she didn't give the Latina a chance to respond to as she pulled her closer to the stereo._

_"You know," Eileen started, pulling Quinn's attention away from her mixed drink, "It's weird to see them getting along so well. Especially when they're always fighting or arguing over every little thing."_

_Quinn followed her friend's gaze to see her wife and best friend dancing rather intimately together. On instinct she raised an eyebrow at the sight. "They're both rather pig-headed people who don't back down easily. But you gotta remember they both have drinks in their systems." Her voice faded to nothing when the glass in Rachel's hand slipped out and shattered on the floor. Thankfully though, it was empty less a few drops. What happened next, caused her and several others to choke on their drinks._

* * *

><p>"You had your tongue down her throat." Quinn mused. She'd found the whole situation entertaining. Not a single pang of jealousy hit her or Brittany about it. In fact, her fellow blonde thought it was hot.<p>

Rachel's cheeks flushed a deeper shade of red. She remembered kissing Santana, but everything leading up to it or following it as a blur to her. "Don't see what that has to do with the glasses though."

"You dropped the glass, not caring that it shattered on the floor just to wrap your arms around her neck."

"I was drunk." The diva attempted to fight back but couldn't stop herself from smiling as she watched the corners of Quinn's mouth curl upwards. She knew her wife was only playing and Rachel planned to continue it as long as Quinn allowed it.

"You wanted to make me jealous."

"I did?"

Quinn leaned against the counter near her wife. She'd already been well aware of how much she'd actually spoke, but she was relaxed. "You told Santana I'd been ignoring you all night. When… in fact… not even five minutes prior I had you pinned against the wall in our bedroom."

"Really?" Even though Rachel already knew all the details – what she was told anyway – she didn't mind hearing them again. Especially if it meant hearing more of Quinn's voice.

"You were beyond drunk Rach." The blonde shook her head with a small laugh. "You know, Brittany asked me for almost six months if we'd consider a four way with them."

Alright, that part was fresh information for the diva. Her eyes flew open in shock. "She what?"

"The last time she asked me was in June. I hated breaking her heart Rach. She told me she was so 'turned on' by watching San with another woman." Quinn looked away. "I kind of hated telling her no."

Rachel dared to take a step closer. Most of her was curious to see just how far she could push their playful banter before her wife would stop it. She missed seeing Quinn's true colors. She just hoped she wouldn't ruin it. "Why's that?"

The blonde made no attempt to move away, instead her eyes locked with Rachel's. She saw the intense burning fires of desire in her eyes. Yet, she also saw the soothing, gentleness of caring and love. She tried telling her feet to move, her arms to reach out to hold Rachel back, but nothing was responding. Her body wanted the closeness of her wife's. "Because I kind of got turned on too…" She bit her lower lip and looked away shyly. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary for her. Quinn always got shy when talking about anything sexual outside of a dimly lit bedroom, or unless she had a few… several drinks in her system.

Rachel's hand carefully reached out to cup her wife's cheek. The pad of her thumb gently traced over the fading bruise and healing skin near her eye. It was one of the simple, loving touches that Rachel knew she'd be able to get away with without Quinn going into complete panic mode. She smiled lovingly up at her wife. "It's completely natural to be aroused by the simple act of one making out with another. Regardless of whether or not one of them is related to you."

"Only you could make that sound so complicated." Quinn chuckled lightly before allowing her eyes to close and lean a little further into Rachel's touch.

"How about this then?" She took a deep breath to compose herself and pull in all of her natural acting abilities. "It's totally cool to get off watching your woman get her mack on with someone else."

Quinn stared blankly at her wife's perfect poker face for a good fifteen seconds before she could no longer contain herself. She retracted from her wife's touch and doubled over in laughter. That easily rivaled Rachel's promise of a traditional vegan Jewish breakfast for Christmas their first year as a married couple as the most absurd thing to ever leave her wife's mouth. "You've… you've been around Santana too damn long."

"Well at least it has not affected my acting abilities." Rachel stood proudly. Proud of herself for being able to pull off a perfect Santana Lopez. And proud of herself for getting her wife to laugh. She missed Quinn's laugh. Her real laugh. Not the small giggles and half-hearted chuckles she'd been hearing over the past several days.

"Oh I love you." Quinn looked up again to meet Rachel's eyes. This time she went on instinct as she closed the gap between them and pressed their lips together. It was only their second kiss since being reunited in Plattsburgh. This time around it was much more romantic and passionate than the languid kiss they'd shared the first time. The blondes head tilted slightly to the side. She was hoping Rachel would take over the lead. But when she did Quinn felt her body react in a way she was hoping it wouldn't. The moment she felt her wife's tongue poke out and drag along her lower lip she pulled back and swallowed thickly. "I…" She couldn't say anything.

Quinn didn't need to say anything, Rachel saw it in her eyes. The pained expression on her face said it all. She cursed herself for even trying to push it so far, but she was so caught up in the moment… _they_were so caught up in the moment. Had she not tried to deepen the kiss who knows what would have happened. Her body could still be feeling the warmth of her wife's. She could still be feeling and tasting Quinn's lips on her own. Or Quinn could have still had the same reaction to her being so close and pushed her away, much as she'd just done.

"I'm sorry." Rachel finally spoke, her eyes looking down at the tile flooring.

"Rach, look at me." Quinn tried to force her hand to reach out to touch Rachel's cheek, but her arm wouldn't respond to the commands. Now she just prayed that the brunette would listen to her words. When brown eyes gazed into her own she breathed a sigh of relief and continued. "I'm trying here Rachel. I really am trying. I want everything to go back to normal… I want our lives back." Before Rachel could open her mouth to interject, she continued. "I just… I need you to be patient with me."

Rachel nodded and smiled softly. She offered her hand to Quinn's, her own smile growing more when the blonde actually took it. "Will you help me finish up the sandwiches? Jeff and his family should be here any minute."

Jeff was a man she'd known for years. He was the first person Rachel met when she entered the Broadway scene. They were both there for the birth of both of his children. He was like a big brother to her, and yet, the thought of him being the only man in the house tonight, scared her beyond belief. She trusted him with her life and knew he would never, _ever_lift a finger to do anything other than help her… but it was the simple fact that he was, in fact, a he that had her entire body on edge. Quinn wasn't even sure if she'd be able to be in the same room as him. She just prayed he would understand if she were to suddenly get up and move to get away from him.

"Yea, I'll help…" She pulled away to get one of the serving platters from another cabinet in the kitchen. It was in yet another place she knew her wife wouldn't be able to reach without the help of a chair.

**_December 31 – 7:30PM_**

Quinn remained near the kitchen doorframe as she watched Rachel allow Jeff and his family into the house. Just as she feared, upon seeing Jeff enter her home, her body reacted in a negative fashion. But she refused to give in to her instinct to run away and stay locked in the bedroom. Especially when she saw two children running full steam past Rachel right toward her.

"Aunt Quinn!" They both chimed in unison. Each attached themselves to one of her legs. She pried them off long enough to kneel down on the floor to get eye-level with them

"Hey guys." She wrapped them both in a tight hug, savoring each second of it before pulling away to help both of them out of their winter attire. "I missed you guys." Her eyes glanced over Jessica's head to see Rachel leading Eileen and Jeff into the living room. She shot her wife a silent 'thank you' and continued paying attention to the children.

"You missed so much Quinn!" Alex kicked off his snow boots before pouting. "Why did you have to go away?"

Well that didn't take long… She took a deep breath to calm her building nerves before looking at the five year old. "I didn't want to go away." She decided to sit on the floor in the hallway to make herself comfortable. "Somebody made me go away."

"Did Aunt Rachel make you go away?"

"No stupid, then Rachie wouldn't have been so sad!" Jessica glared at her brother before wrapping her arms around Quinn's neck and making herself comfortable on the woman's lap.

Quinn relaxed under the young girl's touch, "don't call your brother stupid. He doesn't understand…" She paused to look at the girl. "Do… do you understand what happened?"

Jessica nodded. "Someone took you and did bad things to you and I'm just really, really happy you're okay. Even though you don't look okay." She reached out to touch the bruise that still surrounded Quinn's one eye. Her lip had healed, leaving behind only a very small faint scar, the only physical evidence now that remained was her still slightly puffy eye and some minor scratches and bruises over her body. Her ribs were even healing nicely and she hardly had pain while breathing, but moving, and having a ten year old sitting on you were another story.

"You're right, someone did take me."

"What did they do to you?" Alex stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her neck too.

Having two sets of child's arms around her completely restricted any and all of her movements. But, she was still completely relaxed. If anything, knowing the children were that attached to her helped her body relax more. "It was just one person Alex. He did a lot of bad things to me." Her heart ached at the memories, but she forced them aside, focusing instead on the two inquisitive children in her grasp.

It was Jessica's turn to speak. Quinn always found it amusing how, without even thinking about it, they'd automatically take turns when talking to someone. "Like what?"

"I can't tell you all that. Not yet at least… but… what I can tell you is that I'm okay now." She smiled at Alex's excitement. "Jess?" Quinn tilted her head to the side to look at the little girl who'd moments ago started to sniffle. "Sweetie what's wrong?"

"I thought you were dead." Her arms tightened around the attorney's neck as she sobbed. "Rachie missed you so much. We all did." She couldn't get any more words out even if she tried. Jessica had lost all control over her crying at that point.

Quinn cupped the girl's cheeks and forced her to look at her. "But look, I'm not dead. I'm right here, see?" She planted a soft kiss to her forehead. "I missed all of you guys too. So much."

"Why don't you guys let Auntie Quinn get up?" Rachel popped her head through the doorframe. She couldn't help but laugh at the sight of her wife at the bottom of the child dog pile.

Alex was the first one to pull away from the blonde on the floor. "Can I watch cartoons?" He asked shyly.

Quinn smiled at him before nodding. "Of course you can. Go ask Aunt Rachel to help you turn on the TV okay?"

"K!" He bounced off into the living room.

"Can I get up?"

Jessica still refused to move off of Quinn's lap. She just shook her head, her arms tightening around the blonde's neck. "Take me with you."

"I can't carry you right now sweetheart."

"Why?"

The attorney bit her lip. Before the incident she carried the girl everywhere. Jessica had always been very attached to her. More so than she was with Rachel. "Because I still hurt from when I was taken." She knew she had to pick and choose her words carefully.

"So you can't carry me?" She pulled back just in time to see the woman shake her head. "At least hold my hand?"

"Of course I will Jess."

The girl stood up from Quinn's lap and extended her hand out for the blonde to take. After Quinn stood up with a painful wince from the stabbing feeling in her side, she tightly gripped the girl's hand. They made their way to the living room where everybody was gathered. Along the wall, Quinn spied Rachel and Alex near the TV. Jeffrey and Eileen were seated on the sofa chatting softly.

"What up bitches!" Santana made her presence known as soon as the front door flew open.

"Bad word!" Both Alex and Jessica yelled in unison at Santana's greeting.

The Latina grumbled. "Dammit, didn't realize the kids were here. Alright…" she plopped her purse on the table along the wall and dug her wallet out. "Need to pay you two off early. Come here."

"You know how much money is in their jars from you?" Jeff laughed, earning a glare from the Latina. It was something him and his wife had started doing last year when Alex decided to call his sister a bitch. At a quarter a curse to whoever heard the bad word, Jeff and Eileen quickly learned to watch their mouths.

"I came prepared though. Just in case these two beggers were gonna be here. And once I start drinking…" The Latina started laughing. Once there was alcohol in her system, whatever small filter she had completely vanished. She pulled two 10 dollar bills out of her wallet and handed one to each of the kids. "That should cover me for the night." She threw her wallet back into her purse. "Surprised they don't have new game systems or TVs in their rooms yet."

"They're saving for it. Don't worry. And with you around they should have them soon." Eileen just shook her head as she took the money from her kids to hang onto until they got home.

_"Breaking news in the Quinn Berry-Fa…"_

The channel changed as Alex began his search for cartoons. "Change it back." Quinn called out as she took small steps toward the TV. When was close enough the young boy handed her the remote. She quickly hit the recall button to bring the news station back up.

_"…captured earlier this evening while eating inside his van in a Burger King parking lot. One of the drive-thru employees stated she recognized him from a picture she had seen on a news broadcast. The standoff lasted for nearly an hour before Fields finally relented his weapon and exited his vehicle. Police released the following short statement: Fields maintains his innocence and claims he was only acquiring what was rightfully his. Police also state that Fields did not appear to be in a proper state of mind at the time of his arrest._

_"Victim; Assistant District Attorney Quinn Berry-Fabray is said to be continuing her recovery in her private residence which she shares with her wife, Broadway star Rachel Berry-Fabray. All of us here wish you a quick recovery…_

_"In other news…"_

The report faded from Quinn's ears. She didn't care what else they had to say. All that mattered to her was she was safe. Jim had been caught. Granted she'd missed the part of the report where they'd said where he was actually at but she really didn't care. He was back in jail. He was where he belonged. The damage had already been done but at least Quinn could get herself to relax some more. Now she wouldn't think every tiny noise outside was him. Because now it was impossible for it to be him. A single person could not be in two places at once.

"Quinn?" Rachel gently placed her hand on her wife's arm to draw her attention away from the television. "Baby, you ok?"

The battered and broken woman remained frozen in place. She was thrilled. She wanted to scream and cry and jump for joy. All at once. Quinn was at a lost as to which emotion she should allow her body to show. After a small hand squeezed her own she broke down in tears. Her knees buckled under her and she fell into Rachel's arms. Before she knew it she was on her knees on the floor, crying on Rachel's shoulder.

"It's over baby. It's over." Rachel cooed into her wife's ear.

Jessica remained glued to Quinn. Especially now that her Aunt was crying her eyes out. She didn't quite understand why, but she was smart enough to stay close. "It's okay Quinn."

**_December 31 – 11:30PM_**

It took some doing but Quinn finally got Jessica to go to bed with Alex. Both children were using an air mattress in the spare bedroom, where they would eventually be joined by Jeff and Eileen. Whereas Brittany and Santana were taking their already claimed spots in the living room. Quinn spent nearly a half an hour in the room assuring Jessica that she wasn't going to vanish by morning.

"Did you finally get her to sleep?" Rachel waited for her wife outside the spare room, two glasses of champagne in her hands.

Quinn took one of the glasses and took a small sip. "She didn't want to let me go. She wanted to stay up with us all night to make sure I didn't leave her again." She made herself comfortable against the wall beside her wife.

"She loves you so much Quinn… she's going to be so heartbroken when we move."

"I talked to her about that too. I had to promise to let her visit at least twice a year."

Rachel carefully reached out to rest her hand on Quinn's bicep. "How are you holding up?"

She closed the gap between them and pressed her lips to those of the smaller woman's. Anything to keep from talking about it. Talking about it kept putting her into a depression and she wanted to enjoy her day with her friends. "We'll talk later. Promise."

"Alright. I won't push you." Rachel's hand came up to rest on her wife's cheek. She dared to kiss Quinn again, this time it quickly became heated when she found herself pressed against the hallway wall. "I love you." She whispered between kisses.

"I love you too." Quinn moved her lips down to the brunette's neck and sucked gently on the skin she found. The moan that escaped Rachel's lips was enough to bring the blonde crashing back to reality. She allowed her forehead to rest against Rachel's as she tried to steady her erratic heart rate. As much as she wanted her wife she knew she wouldn't be able to. It didn't make her feel any less guilty about getting her wife worked up and then leaving her turned on.

"Let's go watch the ball drop." Rachel's eyes opened and she smiled up at her wife. She knew nothing would come from their heated kisses. Not so soon anyway. She gently took Quinn's hand and led them down the steps and into the living room where they already had the TV turned to one of the many channels watching the ball drop.

"To Quinn!" Santana suddenly yelled and raised her glass. All eyes became trained on her as her friend continued to talk over the news caster. "The strongest woman I know…"

"We're glad you're back." Brittany chimed in when her wife had finished talking.

Near the entryway, Quinn remained stock still. She simply absorbed their words. "It's good to be back." Her words were soft and emotionless. She could tell that Santana had had too much to drink. Her best friend was never so sentimental around other people. Even though she said she was glad to be back. It wasn't exactly a lie. She just didn't feel like she was back. Not fully.

"Hey, you in there?" Rachel gently cradled Quinn's cheek to draw her back to reality.

"Sorry… just thinking."

The diva placed her glass on the bookshelf behind her before taking Quinn's and doing the same. "I was just telling you Happy New Year."

Quinn looked out into the room to see Brittany and Santana practically making out on the sofa. As well as Jeff and Eileen sharing short, sweet kisses. She was so lost in thought that she didn't even realize the ball had dropped. "Happy Near Year Rach."

"May 2033 bring us new joys and bring us even closer together." Rachel whispered before capturing her wife's lips with her own.

Quinn allowed herself to relax with her wife's touch. She silently prayed that Rachel was right and the new year would be better for them. So far, everything that was planned was running smoothly. Especially with the news that their best friends would be joining them in California.

Yes.

2033 was going to be a better year.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Anybody catch any hints in this chapter? ;) No? Yes? Let me know what you think the hidden hint is.<em>**

**_Also, next chapter is the move, which turned out to be a chapter of over 5,000 words. Which I'm sure nobody will mind it. :D Most of the other chapters range between 3-4k_**


	13. Chapter 12

**_I am SOOO sorry I didn't get this posted yesterday. I ended up spending most of my day out and then once I got home my internet didn't work so I couldn't get this posted. Which is nothing new, sadly, our internet likes to go out at night. Basically every day after dinner time it doesn't work. Which fucking sucks. Pardon my language but it's been going on for over a month now. _**

**_So, hopefully this long chapter will make up for the fact that it's a day late._**

**_Thanks to Jennception for looking this over for me. Hope you all enjoy. You'll find out what happened to Brittany in this chapter._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Chapter 12_**

**_January 15 – 5:45 AM_**

"Are you sure we have everything in the cars? I don't want to get to the hotel tonight only to realize that we've left something behind." Rachel had been running around Brittany and Santana's condo since she woke up at five.

Santana simply leaned against the counter in the kitchen nursing her third cup of coffee. Her eyes were focused entirely on the small diva that ran around her condo like a mad woman. Like a person who wasn't up until midnight packing, unpacking, and repacking every one of their bags. Santana started to feel like she was at a tennis match with the way her eyes darted back and forth.

"Good morning." Quinn greeted her best friend when she entered the kitchen. When she only received a groan in response, she chuckled. "Just think of yourself being up for work." She had to bite her bottom lip to hide her smile when Santana just flipped her off and went back to watching Rachel.

"She's always like this Q." Brittany spoke between bites of her pancakes that Rachel had made for everybody. "She should be good when she's finished that cup of coffee though."

Before Brittany had the opportunity to continue, Rachel finally stopped running around to take a seat in the kitchen. "Alright, I've spent the better part of the week planning this entire trip-"

"-No surprise there." Santana smirked when her fellow brunette gave her a death glare.

"As I was saying… _Santana_… I've planned everything. Brittany and I will be the first set of drivers. Quinn, for today, you'll ride with Brittany, and Santana will ride with me."

"You sure that's a good idea Rach?" Quinn found herself looking between her wife and her best friend. Leaving them alone in a car for nearly 12 hours couldn't have been a good idea.

Rachel placed a reassuring hand on Quinn's arm. "I have some things I need to discuss with Santana. And Brittany said something about wanting to talk to you. Though, she would not inform me of anything beyond that. And we should leave soon for it's a very long drive and I do not want to get to our first hotel too terribly late."

Santana pointed a finger down at Rachel, "you're not talking to me about anything until at least 9. Bad enough I had to listen to you tear this place apart at midnight."

Quinn and Brittany just looked at each other before laughing softly. The attorney stood from her chair and made her way to the bathroom – her mind running wild the whole time. It was finally happening. After more than three months of planning, multiple trips back and forth in November and early December for paperwork signing and contract approvals, they were finally moving.

Yes, they're belongings were already on their way via the moving company they'd hired. But now, as they parted to two vehicles, it was all becoming a reality.

"Drive carefully." Quinn whispered against her wife's ear before giving her a soft kiss. "And try not to piss off Santana. Let her sleep some more."

"I know how she is without enough sleep. I promise not to upset her." Rachel leaned up to press her lips to Quinn's one more time before pulling away. "See you in about four hours."

"I love you."

Rachel smiled, as she has every single time she heard the blonde utter those words over the last three weeks. "I love you too." She blew her wife a kiss before climbing into the driver's seat of her own car.

**_January 15 – 9:15AM_**

"How's Quinn been?" Santana pulled her gaze away from the passing trees and occasional passing car to look at Rachel. The Latina was rather shocked when Rachel had done nothing but sing for the first 3 hours of their drive. She wasn't expecting her friend to actually abide by her wishes of waiting until she was fully awake to try talking to her.

Rachel just sighed before she reached out to turn down the volume on the radio. That was exactly what she needed to speak with Santana about. "Things have been going… well." She dared to glance at the Latina and saw that she wasn't impressed with her answer. "Alright, it's been hell. One second she's perfectly fine, then the next she's screaming and telling me to get away from her. Then she's crying and taking an hour long shower saying she needs to get him off of her."

"It will get better." The Latina tossed Rachel a comforting smile. "You just have to take baby steps.

The diva took a moment to think about everything over the past two weeks. It had been a roller coaster ride. A tug of war so to speak. "Quinn has been taking one step forward and two steps back Santana. Last week she pushed me up against the wall and started to kiss me. Then the moment I reached out to touch her she pulled away, looked at me like a deer in headlights and ran off mumbling something about a shower even though she'd already taken two showers that day." Rachel blindly reached up to wipe at her eyes, trying to keep herself from crying, especially since she was driving. "I don't know what to do San. It's so much worse than last time. She won't even stay in the same room with me for more than an hour. I was lucky that I was able to get her to let me hold her while we watched a movie the other night. We fell asleep sometime during that movie, and when I woke up she was gone. I found her curled up in the center of the bed shaking. And she wasn't cold either, she was shaking from fear.

Santana let out a sigh. "She's going to have to go back into therapy Rach."

"I know. But every time I attempt to bring it up she shuts down. Remember last time?" The Latina just nodded before Rachel continued. "When the men came to get the last of our furniture yesterday… she just stayed on the deck starring out at nothing. When she's around others she puts on her 'I'm alright' mask. But when it's just her and I… God Santana I don't know what to do." Rachel hated nothing more than being lost. She was lost when nobody could find Quinn, but now, she was even more lost having a broken woman for a wife.

The passenger turned her attention away from Rachel as she became lost in her own thoughts. Ten years ago Quinn was a mess after the Jim Fields trial. Santana was also highly disturbed by it. At the time, she was Quinn's paralegal, leaving her to obtain most of the information for the attorney to study. "We need to do something before she gets too bad again."

**_July 27, 2022_**

**_-3 Weeks Post Trial-_**

_Rachel was at her wits end. The trial had ended almost a month ago and Quinn was still beyond paranoid. The slightest of noises or smallest of shadows would cause the blonde to nearly jump out of her skin. What had scared Rachel the most was when Quinn started staying awake all night to keep an eye out on everything._

_"Baby, will you please come to bed, it's almost 4 in the morning." Rachel leaned against the doorframe of the attorney's home office._

_"Can't."_

_It was exactly the same as it always was. Conversations with Quinn never progressed very far because she never seemed willing to put forth more than a word or two. "Why not? You haven't slept in days."_

_The blonde cowered away – hunching further over her desk as if to hide something – as Rachel stepped closer. "I can't get rid of him."_

_"What do you mean?" There was no immediate response, only Quinn shifting further away. "Quinn, baby, talk to me."_

_"Why?"_

_"I hate seeing you like this. Quinn, he didn't do anything to you why is this bothering you so much?"_

_"You didn't have to deal with the pictures of dismembered, mutilated bodies. You didn't have to listen to him tell you and the jury that he did nothing wrong even though his prints were all over the last body. You didn't have to listen to a 13 year old girl tell how she was raped and beaten and left for dead in the middle of nowhere." Quinn finally sat up to look at her wife. "Her name was Elizabeth, Rachel. She told us to call her Beth."_

_By then, Rachel already had tears pouring down her face. She didn't know a lot of details from the trial. And she definitely didn't know about the teenager. But now that she knew, she understood completely why Quinn was so upset. The girl was the same age that Quinn's daughter would have been. She even had blonde hair and hazel eyes. It tore her apart to basically have to look at a carbon copy of herself each day in the courtroom._

"I don't want her to get that bad again. I don't think I could handle it again Santana. I can't watch her beat herself up and blame herself."

The Latina reached out to give her friend's hand a gentle squeeze. "That's exactly what she's doing isn't it? Thinking everything is her fault?" Rachel only nodded. The worst memory in the depths of Santana's mind – other than the car accident – decided to make itself known. Instead of saying anything, the Latina just stared out the window.

**_August 4, 2022_**

**_-4 Weeks Post Trial-_**

_Santana whistled to herself as she walked up the driveway from her car. She had planned a day of shopping but Brittany's ever-demanding schedule had put a quick end to that plan. And she also knew with Rachel's still blossoming Broadway career that she would be stuck in rehearsals all day. So, since it was a nice summer day, Santana wanted to do what she was best at – annoy her best friend._

_"Quinnie, you home?" The Latina announced as she walked through the front door. She wasn't surprised when she heard no response, her best friend did have some selective hearing. She simply shrugged it off before kicking off her shoes and going on a hunt for her dear Quinnie._

_Through Rachel, Santana had learned a lot about Quinn's weakened mental state. Yet, it would never have been enough to prepare her for what she saw when she entered the blonde's bedroom._

_Curled up on the floor was Quinn. Her eyes were locked in on a framed photograph that Santana hadn't seen in 12 years. It was the only picture Quinn had while she held her daughter for that brief moment before she was stripped away – never to be seen again. Puck had managed to sneak the photo in with his cell phone. Quinn's body shook with sobs as she just stared._

_Santana's eyes, however, quickly became aware of the ever growing pool of blood around Quinn's left forearm. "Q? What are you doing?" She quickly kneeled between Quinn and the picture and pulled the razor out of the blonde's non-resistant grip._

_"I failed her."_

_"Failed who?" Santana quickly unbuttoned and removed her own shirt and wrapped it around Quinn's bloody arm. Silently, she thanked herself for deciding on a camisole that day._

_"Beth…"_

_"Sweetie, how did you fail Beth?" Santana pulled her phone out of her pocket and typed a text, sending it to both Brittany and Rachel with the hope that one of them would have their phone on them._

_Santana: Emrgcy w/Q_

_The text was done so quickly that she hoped whoever read it would understand._

_"I just… I handed her over like she didn't even matter."_

_"You didn't have a choice." Santana stayed focused on her friend's numerous cuts, trying to get them to stop bleeding._

_"I did! And I chose to just give her away. I carried her for nine months and then I only got to touch her for a minute and a half before they pulled her away from me forever."_

_During Quinn's mini-rant, Santana's phone had vibrated with a new text._

_Rachel: What's wrong!_

_Santana: Hit rock bottom. Get home NOW_

_The Latina made herself comfortable on the floor and wrapped her arms around the attorney. She gently rocked her back and forth until she had finally stopped crying._

"I'm afraid this will lead to more Beth problems." Santana's words were barely above a whisper.

"She hasn't spoken her name, but it really wouldn't surprise me. For the longest time Quinn tricked herself into believing that the Beth from the trial was her Beth. That had to have been the main reason for her breakdown."

Santana just nodded her head in agreement. The rest of the ride until their first stop for gas was filled with nothing but random singing.

**_January 15 – 2:30PM_**

After a long stretch and a rather tasteless and uneventful meal, Quinn was happy to be driving. What she didn't care for though, was following Santana and Santana's lead foot.

"Didn't you tell your wife to drive carefully?" Quinn glanced down at a speedometer before tossing a look to her car mate.

"I'm sure Rachel will say something any minute." Moments later, as if the diva in the Mercedes Benz in front of them heard her, the brake lights came on. "See, told ya so."

Quinn let out a small laugh. When it came to Rachel, she was a very careful driver. She was also a bit of a backseat driver when riding with someone.

"So how are you doing Quinn?" Brittany frowned when she watched her fellow blonde's grip tighten on the steering wheel.

Quinn had been perfectly relaxed up until that point. Why couldn't the issue have been dropped for the three days worth of driving. "I've been fine."

Brittany knew from experience that she was lying, but decided not to press the point any. "It was the summer before 10th grade…"

The words had caught Quinn off guard. "What was?"

"You remember Brandon Simpson, right?"

"The Mayor's son?" Brittany nodded, only causing Quinn more confusion. "Yes I do. He transferred like a month into the school year. Why do you ask?"

Brittany let out a deep breath before speaking again. She needed time to gather her thoughts. It was the first time she spoke of it in nearly 24 years. "Do you remember… what I said to you in the hospital?" When she saw Quinn turn to look at her she continued. "I've been there Q…"

**_July 9, 2009 – 5:45PM_**

**_-23 Years Prior-_**

_"Brandon?" Brittany giggled at the older boy who was busy spinning her around in some horribly uncoordinated dance around his bedroom. She really liked the guy, he was two years her senior. "Don't drop me!" She squealed in delight when he pulled her even closer to his body after he dipped her almost to the floor._

_"I'd never drop you." His voice was barely a whisper as he stood them both back up. His dark green eyes locked with her baby blues for a moment before he leaned down the short distance and pressed his lips to hers for the very first time._

_Brittany melted into his kiss, her hands sliding up his strong arms to wrap tightly around his neck. When she tried to break the kiss to look at him, his grip never broke from her waist. Instead he only pulled her closer, showing her his already aroused state. "Brandon stop." She moved her hands to his shoulders in a vain attempt to push him away._

_"Aw, come on Britt-Britt." His head dipped down and he began sucking on the skin of her neck. The simple action caused her body to involuntarily shudder in response. She didn't want it, at least not now, not with him, not this soon. They'd only been dating for a week. They'd only just shared their first kiss and now he was expecting everything. "You can't just leave me like this. You've been teasing me all day."_

_She whimpered. Brittany hated how her body was naturally reacting to his touch and not-so-gentle kisses. "I mean it, stop!" She nearly screamed before stomping on his foot and making a break for the door._

_Sadly though, she wasn't able to get his bedroom door open before he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her away from the door and threw her onto the bed. Brittany tried to scream, she tried to fight back, but he was just too strong for her._

* * *

><p><em>The rain soaked through her clothing as she walked up onto Santana's front porch. She couldn't go home, not now. She couldn't let her parents see her like this. Brittany barely made it onto the porch before collapsing down to her knees. Her body ached more then she'd ever felt before. The things he'd done to her were worse than any training ritual Coach Sylvester could dare to throw at them. Carefully she inched her way closer to the front door and knocked on it before resting her back carefully against the wall.<em>

_She wasn't sure how badly her wounds were, or even if they were still bleeding. She just knew that everything hurt her. Her right eye was swollen shut, her thighs hurt, her back hurt from where he beat her with his belt every time she tried to pull away, her wrists hurt from being tied to his bed. Everywhere just… hurt._

_"Hel…Britt? Oh god." Santana knelt down beside her friend and carefully tilted her chin up to examine the injuries. "What happened?" All the blonde could do then was cry. "Okay, let's get you inside and into something warm… that sound good?" Brittany just nodded before she leaned into Santana's loose but wonderfully comforting arms._

_It took Santana nearly a half an hour to get Brittany up the steps and into her room. Cautiously, she reached out to start pulling off the blonde's button down blouse. Brittany gave her no resistance, they'd seen each other naked before, though she wasn't exactly sure how the Latina was going to react to seeing the damage to her once flawless skin. "Ow!" Brittany winced away from Santana when fingers grazed along the still open skin of the middle of her back._

_"What did he do to you?" Santana's voice trailed off as she made her away into her adjoining bathroom to get some old rags to help clean Brittany's wounds._

"San helped me get better. Then she helped me tell my parents everything."

"What happened to Brandon?" Quinn's grip on the steering wheel never once loosened throughout Brittany's entire story. Everything sounded so eerily similar to what happened to her. The rape. The beating. Everything.

Brittany only sighed. "It's why I'm so quiet. I never trusted myself to talk after that. People think I'm so stupid because I never talked. It's something you never really get over Q. But it does get better." Quinn just sat in her seat and listened to anything her fellow blonde was willing to tell her. "He told me if I talked he'd kill me. Every time I opened my mouth he hit me." She shook her head in a horrible attempt to calm her racing heart. "Once I told my parents, they called the police and a report was filed. But, since both of us were under 18 it never really hit the newspapers. And because of who his father was, he was able to just face a small fine and was a free man."

"That's why he transferred?" Brittany nodded. A thick silence fell between them as they just continued on their drive. There was less than an hour left until they were suppose to get to their first stop in South Bend, Indiana. "Does it ever stop hurting?"

"Not entirely. But you eventually learn how to ignore it and focus on the good things. Like for me, I have Sanny. And you've got Rachel." Brittany threw Quinn her best smile, a smile that nobody could resist returning. "So… will you tell me how you're doing?"

"I'm a big mixture of emotions right now B." Quinn kept her eyes locked on the back of the car in front of her, she saw the silhouette of the driver and passenger swaying back and forth and could only imagine what they were doing or singing along to on the radio. "I love Rachel so much. But every time she touches me I want her to stop and I want to hold her closer all at once."

"That's totally normal. For about 4 months after it happened, I could barely hug Santana. Whenever I stayed the night, or she stayed the night, we slept in different spots because I wasn't comfortable to fall asleep so close to another person."

Quinn fell silent. She was learning through Brittany that her actions over the past two weeks have been completely and utterly normal. Her need to be close to Rachel, but her never ending desire to push her away was driving her nuts. She knew that Rachel was showing her that everything was alright with her, but deep down, she knew her wife well enough to know that the entire situation was hard on her too.

"I've only slept in the same bed as Rach… twice since I've been home. We've fallen asleep on the sofa together three times, but during the night she'd shifted just enough to wake me up and I panicked…"

"And you ran off to be alone?" Quinn nodded. "Rachel loves you, just like San loved me. She's going to be patient with you no matter how long it takes."

"What about… intimacy?" Quinn blushed some at her own words. She was never one to openly talk about sex with anybody, she even struggled with her own wife.

Brittany couldn't help but giggle at her dear friend's facial expression that went along with her question. "The first time was emotionally painful for me. But Santana was so caring and loving with me. She waited for me to be okay with it. And with her, she helped me feel safe again. But look Q! You've got me, and Santana, and Rachel all to help you. Well, Rachel to help you in the bedroom, but Sanny and me to help you with everything else. And before we move with you guys, there's always a phone, I mean like… we all have one."

Quinn could only nod. She wasn't sure what she could say to that. In her heart she knew Brittany was right, but her mind on the other hand, told her otherwise. Her mind convinced her that there was no way she would get better. As her thoughts wandered she subconsciously rested her hand on her flat stomach. "Did you ever hurt yourself?"

The dancer bit her lip before shifting in her seat to pull down the waistband of her pants to show dozens of tiny white dashes that peppered every inch of her skin. "Yea… I did."

A bump in the road caused the hand that rested on her own stomach to shift, making the fabric of her sweater rub uncomfortably against her stomach. The wince of pain that Quinn couldn't hide didn't go unnoticed by Brittany, but the dancer decided against pointing it out. She did understand. She completely understood what Quinn was dealing with right now. She also knew that she'd have to keep a closer eye on Quinn to make sure it didn't get out of hand.

**_January 15 – 8:00PM_**

Rachel stretched as she climbed out of her car after putting it into park and shutting off the engine. She was beyond ready for a nice long sleep in an amazingly comfortable bed. All of their reservations had been made in advance in Hilton hotels. They had known firsthand how good the hotel chain was and trusted them for a nice stay and a wonderful breakfast in the morning before getting back onto the road.

"Oh it's fucking cold here!" Santana nearly yelled as she climbed out of the car and stretched her own aching muscles. Only two more days of sitting in a car. At least, according to Rachel's plan, she'd be riding in the SUV tomorrow with Quinn. It would give her so much more leg room. "Hurry up hobbit I'm cold!" She called out as she tightened her expensive Calvin Klein coat around her slender body and hurried through the automatic doors into the warm and comforting lobby.

Rachel only rolled her eyes and watched the baby blue BMW SUV pull up behind her own car. She retied the sash of her coat as she waited for her wife to exit the car. She couldn't help but laugh as she saw the interior light come on and Quinn shuffle to get her coat on before climbing out of the car. She'd always found it amusing that the blonde never could drive with her coat on.

"I'm so tired." Brittany hopped out of the car and ran inside to find her wife, leaving Rachel and Quinn out by the cars.

"Hey." Rachel smiled.

"Hey back." Quinn slung her purse over her shoulder and offered her arm for Rachel to take, which she happily did. The blonde listened to Brittany's words. Rachel would never hurt her no matter what happened. She had to accept that and be willing to take baby steps with small bits of contact here and there.

"Welcome to the Hilton Hotel, South Bend… how may I help you this evening?" The young woman at the desk smiled warmly at the foursome as they all approached the counter.

Quinn reluctantly pulled away from her wife to rest her purse on the counter and dig through for her wallet. "Two reservations. Should be under Brittany Lopez."

"And are you Ms. Lopez ma'am?" The woman looked down at her computer, wasting no time in bringing up the pair of reservations, both of which showed Brittany's diamond card status.

"Uh no, she is." Quinn pointed to the other blonde with them. "But I'm paying for both of the rooms."

"Alright, not a problem at all." The woman, who Quinn learned from the nametag was named Alexis, took her credit card and ran it through the reader for both rooms before handing it back. "I have both of the rooms for 1 King size bed, is that correct?" Alexis lifted her gaze to look oddly at both pairs of women.

That was all it took for Santana to finally lose her cool. She stepped between Quinn and the young woman who was still giving them all a strange look. "What's the matter sweetie, never seen lesbians before?"

"San be nice!" Brittany gently wrapped her hand around Santana's waist.

"B, you didn't spend months on road trips around the world to get that diamond card just to be looked at funny because you're traveling with your wife. Look, I'm cold, I'm tired, we've been driving since New York City and I would just love it if you'd hand us our keys so I can go get my sleep on."

Rachel tried not to laugh at Alexis' expression. "Of course ma'am. I'm sorry." She slid two sets of keycards across the counter to the pairs of women before her. "Breakfast is included in the morning from 6AM until 10AM. Our indoor pool and Jacuzzi are open until 11PM if you ladies would like to partake in that. And there is always someone at the desk if there are any issues or concerns."

"Thanks." Rachel grabbed the packet and checked the room number before looking up at Quinn and handing her the other card. "Go ahead up to the room, I'll get our bags." Before Quinn could object Rachel pressed her finger to the blonde's lips. "Please?"

There were those puppy dog eyes that even 22 years later, Quinn still couldn't deny. "Fine. I just need my grey bag, the small one." Rachel just nodded and pulled Brittany with her out to the vehicles, leaving Santana and Quinn alone to go to the rooms which were conveniently right next door to one another. "Surprised my wife is still in one piece."

"Spent most of the drive talking about you." Santana watched her best friend visibly tense at the words. "She told me a lot about her movie too." She quickly changed the subject when she felt Quinn's discomfort. "It's supposed to be one of those 'destiny' stories or something." Santana walked out of the elevator on the 4th floor and turned down the hallway, walking with the blonde in silence until they each got to their rooms. "Good night Quinn."

"Night San." Quinn whispered before entering her own room and flipping the light on. She took a moment to absorb the warm and comforting tans, reds and browns made the whole room feel inviting. After she kicked her shoes off and removed her coat and stretched out on her stomach on the middle of the bed and waited for her wife.

Quinn knew it was going to be a long night. No matter how hard she tried, she wouldn't be able to get more than 15 feet away from Rachel. So, for the next three days she had to deal with sharing a bed with her wife. _'She'll be patient with you. She loves you. She'd never hurt you and you know it.'_ Brittany's words kept playing and replaying in her mind until she heard the mechanics of the room's door lock go off and the door open revealing Rachel hauling behind her two bags. Without a word Quinn climbed off the bed, grabbed her own bag and went into the bathroom to get changed and clear her head.

By the time she came out she saw Rachel lying under the blankets on the far side of the bed. There was no doubt in Quinn's mind that while she changed, Rachel had done the same. After a quick breath she silently crawled onto the bed, on top of the blanket and rested her head on her shoulder. She closed her eyes and focused solely on calming her heart beat. She had to do this, not only for herself but for Rachel.

"Quinn?" Rachel was frightened that if she touched the blonde lying against her she'd panic and run off.

"Just… Rachel hold me please." Quinn shook some when she felt the brunette's gentle touch on her bare arms.

On instinct Rachel started rubbing soothing circles on the small of Quinn's back and opened her mouth to start singing softly to her.

**_I can see the weight there in your eyes  
>I can feel the thorn in your side<br>Your knuckles are bruised from a losing fight  
>One way down a dead end street<br>Broken glass underneath your feet  
>You think the day won't break the sunless night<em>**

The sun will rise  
>The sun will rise<br>When you've lost your lights  
>The sun will rise<br>It'll be alright  
>It'll be alright<p>

Her voice faded to nothing when she felt Quinn's breathing even out. She looked down at the sleeping blonde in her arms. Rachel felt her heart flutter as she savored the closeness of her wife to her side. She knew it would be a long, hard road. She'd never be able to have the heart to leave Quinn's side. Rachel would see her through everything along the healing process.

"I love you Quinn." She pressed a gentle kiss to the blonde's hairline and continue stroking her back until sleep overtook her own body.

6AM came early and there was still a long way to go until they could start their new lives in California.

* * *

><p><em><strong>The hotel thing, I've had it happen to me before when traveling with my ex, because her and I would only get a king size bed. We've been looked at funny by the receptionist when checking in, so I thought it would add a tiny bit of humor in there to have Santana get pissed at her. :)<strong>_

_**Don't forget to review! Please don't hate me for being a day late!**_


	14. Chapter 13

**_Hating my damn internet again, now I have to retype my entire author's note... Anyway..._**

**_So what happened last chapter? Was I being punished for being a day late? 4 reviews? That's it :( I know you all were upset but daaaamn._**

**_I think I like need reviews to breath or something._**

**_Thanks to Jennception for looking this over as always._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>_****_Chapter 13_**

**_January 20 – 8:00AM_**

Rachel looked at herself in the mirror in the master bathroom. After applying the last of her make-up she worked at tucking her blouse into the hem of her skirt and made her way into the bedroom to pull on a pair of her heels. The entire time she was well aware of her wife watching her.

The two days they'd been in California had been very uneventful. But, while they were busy relaxing, she'd noticed a huge change in Quinn's demeanor. It seemed that all the blonde really needed was a change of scenery. The difference in atmosphere seemed to get Quinn out of her closed-off haze of events that always seemed to flood into her mind. Rachel couldn't be happier. She'd been able to share a bed with her wife for almost a week straight. It was like things were getting back to normal for her… for them.

"You off to the studio to meet everybody?" Quinn looked over the top of her laptop at her wife who had just stood up from the bed.

Rachel nodded her head before walking around to Quinn's side of the bed and gently moving the laptop to be able to get closer. "And you're going with Brittany and Santana on their house hunting adventure."

"Yeah… wish me luck on that one Rach." The blonde looked away and lifted her hand to cover her mouth in an attempt to hide her yawn.

The brunette bit her lip. She knew that Quinn hadn't been sleeping for more than a few minutes at a time, but thought better than to point it out. Quinn had been doing so well and Rachel decided to keep treating her as she normally would, and wait for the blonde to bring up anything that was running through her mind. If Quinn wanted to talk, then she'd wait for her to talk.

"Well good luck to you my love." Rachel leaned down and stole Quinn's lips with her own. It was a sweet, short kiss that made both of them smile. Rachel could tell the smile was fake, but again decided not to point it out. Giving Quinn time was the best thing she could do. It had only been a month since everything happened.

"I'll see you for dinner?" Quinn's voice was hopeful. She knew that once Rachel started filming the movie at the beginning of the following week, her schedule would be packed and it would be a struggle to see her. When she caught Rachel's smile she couldn't help but to return it. She was thankful that it wasn't forced like 90% of her smiles lately had been. Showing people she was okay meant they'd stop asking if she was okay.

The brunette carefully placed her hand on her wife's cheek and looked into her eyes. "It's just a read through I'll probably be home before you guys are… knowing how picky Brittany can be."

"I think the first appointment is at noon. I might just nap some until we leave."

"Alright. I'll call you later to see how things are going. I love you." Rachel pressed another gentle kiss against Quinn's lips before pulling away.

"I love you too, drive carefully." Quinn kept her eyes on her wife as she watched her leave the room. Her eyes closed and she took several deep breaths. She was unsure of how much longer she could continue to hold up this façade. Running her fingers through her hair she climbed out of bed and made her way to her dresser. After pulling out a change of clothes she made her way into the adjoining bathroom. "Look at you…" She whispered to herself in the mirror.

Her eyes locked with her own reflection. The eyes that were once a bright, hazel, were now lifeless and dead. She couldn't rid herself of the memories, no matter how hard she tried. She couldn't get away from his touch, his scent, his words. All of it was etched into the deepest parts of her mind. She pulled herself away from the mirror and turned the water in the shower on. A hot shower helped a little bit. It helped to get rid of the filth that continued to remain on her body. The filth that he gave her – that he caused her to feel.

The one thing she noticed ever since she got home for the first time. Every time she stripped, she closed her eyes. Quinn couldn't bear to look at any part of her own disgusting body. Not after him. Her showers were taken in darkness, she changed in darkness. She couldn't even handle staying in the same room as Rachel as she changed. Just the thought of being around anybody when she changed made her sick. Then again… why would anybody want to look at the filth that was her?

Once the hot water of the shower hit her body she hissed in pain. The water was a little hotter than average, but she needed to drown away her mental and emotional pain with physical pain. But it wasn't enough. As she scrubbed angrily at every inch of her skin she was forced to keep her eyes closed as pictures of him in front of her and above her flashed in front of them. She couldn't get him off of her. Quinn blindly reached out from behind the shower curtain to grab her little box that she'd gotten while gathering clothes from the dresser. She should have known she wouldn't be able to make it through the shower without it.

Releasing a soft sniffle, she opened her eyes long enough to open it and pull out her newest friend. It seemed trivial but it helped to ease her pain. She wasn't some teenager anymore who bled out to release pain over a boyfriend who broke up with them. No. She was a 38 year old woman who was faced with death and won. It was something she wished she'd lost though. Because she won her battle, she was left with a constant struggle. A heavenly sigh escaped her lips at the feeling of her flesh ripping apart under the blade in her hand. The warming sensation that followed was soothing and she quickly forgot her pain.

In the end it never lasted long, but it tended to be enough to get her through her day. Just a few more wounds and she knew she'd be able to make it through the day. She's be able to plaster that smile back onto her face and show that she was perfectly fine. Even though on the inside, she was broken, battered, and most of all… lost and confused.

**_January 20 – 12:45PM_**

That was a waste of time. The first house that they'd been shown was smaller than their current condo. Brittany and Santana were after a house. And to them, that wasn't a house.

"Next one's in your neighborhood Quinnie." Santana smirked into the rear view mirror at her friend. Her expression quickly fell when she saw her best friend's head tilted to the side and her eyes closed. "Quinn?" The Latina turned around at a traffic light to see that Quinn was, in fact, asleep. "B, look…"

The blonde passenger turned around in her seat and smiled warmly at her friend. "She's so tired." She glanced at her wife as she started to pull through the intersection. "Take your time getting to the next house."

"B, hun, we're in L.A. it's going to take us a while." She grumbled as they rolled to a stop at the next traffic light. "I'm already hating this traffic." Santana turned to glare at the driver beside her that laid on the horn because she didn't drive through the yellow light. "Oh yes, just like home. Just like New York."

Brittany snapped her fingers a few times in front of Quinn's face before waving her hand, just to make sure she was asleep before taking that same hand and lacing her fingers with Santana's. "I'm worried about Q." Her voice was soft, wanting to make sure that the upcoming conversation didn't wake up their friend from a much needed sleep.

"I am too." Santana's voice was just as soft. Doing emotional things was never at the top of her acceptance list. But whenever she knew someone had to talk, she was always there to listen.

"We talked in the car…" Brittany pulled her hand away to rest on the spot on her hip where her own scars were at. "She didn't tell me, but I could figure it out… San I've been there, I know what the signs are. Hell, so do you."

"You think she's…?" Santana's eyes darted up to the mirror again to make sure Quinn was still asleep.

The dancer just sighed before nodding. "I don't think San… I know. I think it's on her stomach."

The car became quiet after that. Santana remembered what it was like dealing with Brittany all those years ago. Part of her wondered if Rachel could handle Quinn's incoming breakdown on top of her budding movie career. She knew that her and Brittany would only be there to help for a few more days before being forced to return to their lives in New York. There wasn't much they'd be able to do from 3000 miles away.

Santana was so lost in thought that she didn't even hear her cell phone start to ring. It fell unnoticed until she saw Brittany reaching for it.

"Hi Rach!" Brittany chirped when she answered. "Everything's good. Quinn's actually asleep right now." The blonde glanced back at her friend to make sure she was still out cold. "Sanny's driving so that's why I answered. That's okay right?" She frowned some, affectively drawing a small smile from her wife. "Good. Yeah, the first place was way too small. We're going to the second house now… sounds great. We'll see you around 6. K? Bye!" She flipped the phone closed before tossing it back into Santana's purse. "Rachel's probably getting out earlier than expected."

"Okay." Was all Santana could say. Her mind was too far gone in memories of Quinn's past break downs. She'd been there for most of them and she was currently trying to figure out a way to help her closest friend before said break down hit her. Thankfully, Brittany always knew that and knew just when to stop talking and let her have her thoughts.

**_September 20, 2010  
>-Junior Year of High School-<em>**

_"A lot's changed over the summer." Quinn stated plainly before slamming her locker shut and turning to walk away. With everything else on her mind, being cornered and questioned by Santana was the last thing she needed._

_Santana couldn't take a hint though – she never could. "So tell me__Juno, why the change in attitude?"_

_The blonde Cheerio just chewed idly on the inside of her lip. Telling Santana the truth was out of the question. She already knew she'd be ridiculed regardless, but, leaving out a very important detail would make or break everything. "Can't I just be tired of being a bitch?"_

_"Nice one Fabray. Now let's try the truth, shall we?"_

_Quinn knew she wasn't going to let it drop. Instead of coming clean right away, she led them through the parking lot, toward her own car. "Get in." She didn't wait for a response before she climbed behind the wheel._

_"Why all the__ secrecy__?" The Latina's expression changed – softened even – when she noticed the tears welling up in her best friends eyes. "Don't tell me you're pregnant again."_

_Quinn allowed the tears to fall down her cheeks – making no attempt to stop them. With the question she was about to ask, she couldn't bring herself to even look at Santana. "How did you know you liked girls?"_

_The Latina was a bit taken aback by the question. "I – I… um… you think you…?" Quinn just nodded before allowing herself to completely break down. "Hey, it's okay." Santana pulled the blonde into her embrace and rubbed soothing circles on her lower back. "Who?"_

_"Who what?"_

_"Who do you like? Like…" she backed away to look into Quinn's eyes, "how I fell for Britt."_

_"I can't tell you…"_

_"Why not? Come on Q, I know how to take things seriously. This is serious to me."_

_"Rachel."_

_An eternity seemed to pass before Santana finally found her voice again. It wasn't mocking. She couldn't mock Quinn for something like that, she knew first hand that you can't help who you fall in love with. "Berry? Like… Queen of the troll people… that Rachel?" Quinn nodded before starting to cry harder._

**_January 20 – 4:50PM_**

"I still can't believe you two let me sleep through the second house."

"Well, Rachel said you haven't been sleeping much. And you just looked so cute and comfortable."

"Cute… right…" Quinn rolled her eyes as she walked toward the kitchen to start making dinner.

"Why don't you guys let us take you out for dinner tonight?" Santana leaned against the counter near her friend. Her eyes kept daring down to the blonde's shirt covered stomach in hopes of catching a glimpse of skin. Santana always had ways of finding out things without actually coming out and asking.

Quinn stopped what she was doing to look at her friends. "You guys go… have a romantic night out." She forced a smile at Santana before moving to the other side of her to go to the fridge.

"You and Rach should totally come with us!" Brittany gently pressed herself against her wife's body and tilted her head to get a better look at Quinn, who was currently digging something out of the back of the freezer.

When the attorney looked up she froze. She knew that Brittany and Santana were always so lovey dovey with one another, but to actually have it thrown in her face all the time was starting to become too much. She just stood there for a few seconds to regain her thoughts, the whole time her eyes never left them. Oh how she wished she could feel comfortable enough to do that with Rachel again. Truth be told, she ached for Rachel's touch, for her kiss, and for her caress. But every single time they were near each other for more than a few minutes her body went into panic mode and she pulled away.

"Quinn?"

Santana started to take a step toward her friend when she saw the woman's expression change from playful to serious in the blink of an eye. But each step she took closer she saw the taller blonde take one backwards. "You guys go." Was the last thing Quinn spat out before leaving the kitchen and going into her bedroom.

Once she locked the door behind her she made her way toward the walk-in closet which held a full length mirror. What was wrong with her? She closed her eyes as she came to a stop in front of her own reflection. Why couldn't she look at herself? Quinn's hands came to rest on the wall on the sides of the mirror and she forced her eyes open. Her hazel eyes looked nowhere else other than her own hazel eyed reflection. '_Stupid whore. Nobody loves you_.'

Her eyes slammed shut again as his words continued to flood into her mind. She was filthy. She was a whore. Nobody loved her. Why would anybody want to be with damaged goods? Slowly, as she'd done a few times in the past, she slipped out of her clothing and forced her eyes to stay open. The first thing she noticed was her protruding ribs. She hasn't been eating much, she knows it, but actually seeing the effects of it is another thing. Her fingers slowly traced the outline of the bones. Maybe she'd consider eating more… maybe.

Her line of sight completely skipped over the bright red lines that marred the pale skin of her stomach. Even though he caused them, she did them. She did them to take away his pain. Quinn trailed her fingertips down along her hip then her thigh before coming to a stop over one of the many scars that remained on her body from Jim. Something she'd never be able to wash away no matter how much or how often she scrubbed. Quinn remembered exactly which knife each of those white lines came from. The one she touched now, was from a rusted out switch blade, while the one just to the left of it was from a paring knife he used to cut an apple up with. Her eyes fell closed as she remembered just how much it burned to feel the acid from the apple mixing with her open wound.

"Hey Q? You okay in there?" Brittany's muffled voice echoed through the bedroom.

Quinn just ignored her. Why did Brittany care anyway? Why did any of them care? Why couldn't they all just leave her alone when she wanted to be alone? She slowly sank down onto her knees on the carpet and allowed her mind to wander, yet again. Over and over in her head she heard him telling her that nobody loved her. That she was nothing but a piece of filthy trash… Quinn knew what she had to do.

**_January 20 – 8:20PM_**

"You never cease to amaze me Quinn." Rachel smiled up at her wife from her place on the carpet as she was handed a glass of wine. The pair were in their bedroom on their throw rug in front of the electric fireplace. "How did you manage to get Brittany and Santana out of here for the night?"

Quinn carefully sat down beside her and sipped from her own glass. "They talked about going out to dinner, and I told them I wanted to spend time with you." She glanced at the brunette with a small smile on her face. "You're gorgeous, you know that?"

A slight blush crept onto Rachel's cheeks and her eyes diverted away for a moment. "Well so are you."

Reaching out to the side, Quinn carefully put her glass down on the carpet, making sure it wouldn't tip over before leaning in and pressing her lips gently to Rachel's. It was now or never to find out how much the diva truly loved her. She lifted her hand to press it to the expanse of tanned skin that was available on her neck and shifted to get her body closer. Quinn felt her heart begin to race at the closeness of Rachel's body to her own but she fought it. She fought back against the panic to savor the intimacy only her wife could give her. Rachel wasn't pulling away from her. Just as she had feared earlier that she would. She had assumed the smaller woman would try to push her away. But, feeling Rachel's touch on her body only showed her that she _did_ love her – regardless of what happened.

"Mm, Quinn." Rachel whimpered when the blonde's lips traveled across her jaw and down her neck. Her eyes fell shut and her head tilted to the side to allow her wife more access to her skin. "Baby, so good." She whispered at the familiar sensation of teeth nipping the skin near her pulse point. Blindly she reached out to place her glass near Quinn's on the floor before wrapping her arms around the blonde's neck and allowing herself to be pressed onto the floor, on her back. Her eyes opened to meet Quinn's staring back into hers intently.

"I missed you Rach."

A soft moan escaped Quinn's throat when she was pulled down into another kiss with Rachel. A kiss she didn't fight, one she couldn't fight. It was slow and passionate, the kind that set her entire body on fire. Knowing that her body wasn't reacting in a negative way to Rachel's lips on hers, was a great sign. It was a sign that she was, in fact, getting better. Rachel's fingers moved to thread through long blonde locks and tugged gently, to pull Quinn's body down completely onto hers. When Quinn let out a gasp and pulled away some to look into her eyes, she thought she'd gone too far. "Baby I… I didn't mean…"

Quinn reached out to brush some hair behind Rachel's ear and shifted so one of her thighs could press against Rachel's center before she leaned back down to capture her lips. Her mind was well aware of the delicate fingers tracing down her back and coming to a stop at the bottom of her shirt. When she rocked once into Rachel, it caused those fingers to clench tightly around the fabric of the shirt. It also caused her nails to drag across her skin. That was all it took to bring the moment to a crashing halt. The blonde scrambled away from Rachel, gasping heavily, trying to steady her panicked breathing. Her eyes stayed locked with Rachel but all she saw was him approaching her. She had felt his fingers digging into her skin. She'd heard his moans of disgusting pleasure.

"Quinn… baby look at me." Rachel gently cupped the blonde's cheeks, forcing their eyes to meet. "What happened?"

Quinn ripped away from her wife's touch and pushed herself to her feet. Without a word she grabbed one of the two wine glasses from the floor and downed the entire thing. With it still gripped tightly in her hand she made her way to the bed and sat down. "I… I thought I could."

"Honey, it's okay." Rachel sat beside her wife before wrapping one of her arms around her shoulders.

"No it's not okay Rachel. I want my wife. Why is that so fucking hard to understand? But every time you touch me, I panic. I know you'd never hurt me, but I can't stop myself from reacting like you will." The empty glass slid out of her grasp and bounced some on the carpeted floor before her body shook with sobs.

All Rachel could do was wrap her arms around the taller woman's body and allow her to cry. "It's just a thing of taking it one step at a time Quinn."

"I can't even make love to my wife without freaking out. What kind of freak am I?" Quinn snapped, pulling away from Rachel's embrace to stand up.

"You're not a freak."

"Oh? I'm not? Then why can't I let you touch me? Why do I run away every time you look at me too long? Why Rachel? Why?" By then she'd started pacing back and forth in front of Rachel, who remained seated on the bed.

"Because of what he did to you. You can't break away from it. It hasn't even been a full month yet Quinn. You've been getting better. Things just have to go at your pace. If you need me to not touch you, then tell me and I won't."

"It's not that simple!" She wishes it was. It wasn't just the touch that set her off, it was hearing Rachel's breathy moans that did it too. "Oh god I wish it was." She finally sat back down then shifted to lay against her pillows.

Rachel reached down to pick up the glass that had fallen onto the floor before lying down beside Quinn and looking at her. "What's on your mind?"

Quinn's eyes closed and she let out the air that was in her lungs. "I miss how everything used to be." She carefully rolled over and forced her body to relax in Rachel's embrace.

"Remember our first time together?"

The question was completely random, but it was random enough to make her chuckle softly. "Our first attempt you mean? You couldn't stop laughing."

"I couldn't stop laughing? Where were you at Quinn? You were so embarrassed you couldn't even open your eyes!" Rachel playfully pushed her wife's shoulder, causing more laughter to fall from the blonde's lips. "I was laughing because you were so cute stumbling over all of your words and your hands shaking so much that they tickled me every time you touched me."

"I was scared!" Quinn quickly fought back. Then her own words sank into her subconscious. She was scared then, just like she's scared now. "I am scared…" Her voice was so soft that Rachel barely heard it. "I'm terrified Rach…"

"I know you are sweetheart. And I'm always going to be here for you." Rachel nuzzled her nose into Quinn's hair, her mind drifting back to how awkward things were when their relationship first started. "Your hair smells good." She whispered before kissing the blonde's hairline.

"You always smell good… Hey Rach?"

Rachel carefully laced their fingers together before resting their hands on her own stomach. "Yea?"

"Can we just stay here forever?"

The brunette smiled at her wife's words. It definitely took her back to the beginning of their relationship. "For as long as you'd like Quinn."

* * *

><p><strong><em>Since we're in the holiday season, I'd like to extend to everybody an early Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, or a joyous whatever holiday you might or might not celebrate.<em>**

**_I, personally, celebrate Christmas, so... here's what I'd like to make my Christmas special:_**

**_1) Review_**

**_That's it. That's all I want for Christmas, reviews :D_**

**_I just wanna know what you guys think so far, maybe what you think is coming in the future... or even what you'd like to come in the future. I do take suggestions into consideration. That's the whole point of me asking my questions, and doing my surveys. Next and possibly final survey, will be asked at the end of chapter 15._**

**_See you all next week. Have a safe week if you're out and about shopping, people are nuts... I know... I work in retail lol_**


	15. Chapter 14

**_MERRY CHRISTMAS!_**

**_Okay, now that that's out of my system, I can go on to tell you that this is basically just a filler chapter. I'm sorry it's kinda short, buuuuut. My Christmas present to everybody, is not having to wait a full week for an update. Look for one Wednesday/Thursday night._**

**_Was Santa good to everybody this year? I got Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3, the guide for said game, and my parents are helping with my rental car when I go on my trip in May, so I'm quite happy :D_**

**_Thanks to Jennception for reading over this for me...well the first 3/4 of it anyway, since my geniusness never sent her the entire chapter then my internet wouldn't connect last night to send her the rest of the chapter..._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>_****_Chapter 14_**

**_January 21 – 3:15AM_**

_"Fuck you!" She spat in his general direction. Due to the darkness coupled with her busted eye it was a pure guess as to Jim's exact location._

_She saw his shadowy form wipe at his cheek before letting out an amused laugh. "Quinn… Quinn… Quinn… when will you learn?" He finished his question with a swift kick to the battered woman's side. "Let me show you a thing or two about respect."_

Quinn shot straight up in bed and clamped her hand over her mouth to keep from screaming. She remembered – with grueling detail the feeling of that knight carving into her skin. The sensation of every ridge slicing through the flesh of her thighs was fresh in her memory. With blurry vision she glanced over at her bedmate. Rachel was still asleep – peaceful. Good.

Her hand remained clamped over her mouth, tears sliding down her face as she quietly climbed out of bed and walked across the still bare bedroom to the bathroom. Once the door was closed she found herself collapsing to the floor in front of the toilet. It only took a few seconds to lose the contents of her stomach.

No, it wasn't anything new for Quinn. Every detailed nightmare put her in this exact same position. On her knees. Face planted in the toilet. When her stomach finished doing it's summersaults she simply sat against the opposite wall after flushing the toilet.

It was times like these that she allowed her mind to drift back to the happier times.

**_February 20, 2017_**

_Quinn giggled at the squeak her wife let out. "But Rachel!"_

_The brunette pushed the taller woman further away from her… which only added three inches of space on the bed. "Your hands are like icicles Quinn! I will not be used as your person-ah!" She squeaked again when she felt a pair of frozen hands on her bare stomach._

_"Baby… warm me up." Quinn whispered against her wife's ear causing a different kind of shiver to run over her body. "It's still early. I don't have a meeting until 2 and you don't have a show until tonight at 6…" she trailed off as her lips pressed down on Rachel's pulse point._

_"Mm… I like how you think."_

Quinn took a deep breath as she stood up to begin a very familiar routine. One that over the past few weeks she'd come to perfect. Lord knows she's had a lot of practice. It wasn't new to anybody that she didn't sleep much anymore. Jim haunted her. He was no longer able to continue the physical abuse but the mental and emotional continued.

Quinn slowly made her way to the bed to start her routine. Fix the blankets on Rachel.

Yes, Jim continued on in her dreams. Torturing her, beating her… killing her. Just like a real life Freddie Kruger. She giggled softly to herself as she remembered back to the one and only time she was able to get Rachel to watch a horror movie with her.

**_July 1, 2011_**

_The lights in the Fabray living room were out. The curtains were pulled tightly shut. The only light in the room was coming from the television._

_"Oh god!" Rachel covered her eyes for the hundredth time during the movie as the man was pulled down through the center of the bed. Moments later blood poured out from the gaping cavern in the mattress to cover the ceiling, the bed, and most of the walls. "Quinn turn it off. Please?"_

_The blonde tossed a piece of pop corn into her mouth before glancing at her girlfriend. "You do know it's fake right?"_

_"I don't care," she pleaded. "Turn it off!"_

_"Rachel you could have told me you didn't like horror movies." Quinn made her way to the television to shut off the DVD. Soon the entire room went dark and a horrible idea crossed her mind. One she just couldn't resist. "One, two, Freddie's coming for you."_

_"No he's not! Quinn Fabray that's not funny!" Rachel couldn't see a thing. She had no idea where her girlfriend was and it was starting to scare her._

_"Three, four, you better lock your door."_

_"The door is locked. I'm serious Quinn, knock it off!"_

_The blonde smirked as she stepped closer to the sofa. Her eyes had adjusted quickly in the darkness and she could see the brunette slowly curling herself into a ball. "Five, six, grab a crucifix."_

_"I'm Jewish and you know it!" Rachel continued to bounce back after everything Quinn had said in an attempt to show the jingle from Nightmare on Elm Street wasn't getting to her. In reality though, it was making her skin crawl._

_"Seven, eight, you better stay up late."_

_"It is late. Would you stop it already?"_

_What Rachel hadn't realized was Quinn was standing only a foot in front of her. "Nine, ten, you'll never sleep again." Quinn's voice faded to nothing as she stood there for what felt like an eternity before she made her move. "He's here!" She screamed as she grabbed Rachel's shoulders._

_When the smaller girl let out a high pitched scream, Quinn found herself doubled over with laughter._

She truly felt horrible after that because Rachel didn't sleep that night. The night after that… or the one after that either. It took Quinn all that time to convince Rachel that Freddie wasn't real, and that dreams couldn't kill you.

Quinn placed a gentle kiss on Rachel's cheek before exiting the bedroom and making her way down the hallway. Next stop, start coffee. She'd be the only one to drink any of it until the next person woke up. Which was always a tossup between Rachel and Brittany. Santana… she was another story all together. She hardly ever woke up early on her own.

After the coffee was brewing, she made her way into the living room. She took each step carefully, trying not to make too much noise. Brittany and Santana were sleeping in the second bedroom that was just off of the living room.

"Hi mom…" Quinn whispered to a picture of her and her mother from Quinn's high school graduation. She missed her mom. Sometimes even her father was missed.

**_November 24, 2010_**

_"Everything will be fine Quinn."_

_The Cheerio let out the breath she'd been holding since she put her car into park beside her mother's car. She was ready for this step. It helped that Rachel would be with her throughout the entire ordeal. The blonde nodded, gave Rachel's hand a squeeze and climbed out of the car._

_"Hey mom."_

_"Hello Judy."_

_The older blonde looked up from her book. "How was school girls?"_

_"Uneventful. As always." Quinn placed her backpack on the floor by the front door before stepping further into the house._

_"Are you staying for dinner Rachel?" Judy started to stand but was stopped when Quinn motioned for her to sit back down. "What's wrong?"_

_Quinn glanced down at Rachel before taking a deep breath. "I need to tell you something. And I don't want you to panic or freak out or anything."_

_"Quinnie. Calm down. Come sit and talk to me." She had a worried expression as she watched her daughter and one of her daughter's best friends sit on the couch across from her._

_After taking their seat, Rachel leaned up to whisper in the blonde's ear. "You can do this."_

_"We need to tell you something." Summoning every ounce of courage, she wrapped her hand around Rachel's before locking eyes with her mother. "Rachel and I have been dating… for about a month now."_

_When nothing but silence filled the room, Quinn began to panic. She quickly looked away from her mother as she felt tears begin to blur her vision. Quinn couldn't stop herself from breaking down the minute Rachel's fingers laced with her own. The silence reminded the teenager of the calm before the storm that she felt when she revealed her pregnancy._

_"I know."_

_Those two simple words drew the attention of both teenagers. "What?"_

_Judy smiled before moving over to the other side of Quinn. "Honey, I've known you were gay for a while. I was just waiting for you to tell me. As long as you're happy that's what matters to me in the end. Seeing the way you've changed since school started… Quinn I know Rachel makes you happy. Honey, when you're happy I'm happy."_

Quinn placed a kiss to the picture before placing it on one of the built in book shelves in the room. She'd have to question Rachel later to see if it was alright being there. The blonde pulled a few more pictures out of the box to place them on the various shelves. Everything had to be unpacked, and the best way to do it was a little bit at a time.

She stopped on a picture of both of her parents. Granted, Quinn loved both her mom and dad… you only have one set of parents after all. But there were a lot of times that she wished things with her father would have been different. He was a typical Fabray. When something bad happened, or something that risked the family's reputation, it was ignored. Once he absorbed the new information, he never spoke of it again. Ever.

It all got a little bit better once Judy kicked Russell out. A little over two years of separation before her father admitted his mistakes and agreed to go into counseling. Things were a little tense at first with him handling his daughter being gay and getting ready to head off to New York for college.

"The fuck are you doing up?"

The sudden voice caused Quinn to nearly jump out of her skin. "Jesus Santana… Don't do that!"

Santana cringed as she pulled the door shut behind her. "Sorry." She really was, she wasn't awake enough to think about Quinn and how bad scaring her would actually be.

"I should ask you the same thing. The fuck are you doing up? You _never_ wake up on your own before the sun."

The Latina shrugged her shoulders before going into the kitchen. She knew there would be coffee. Whenever Quinn was awake, there was coffee. "Saw the light, heard the noises. What do you expect?"

"Sorry I woke you."

"S'ok. Couldn't sleep again?" Santana stirred sugar and creamer into her coffee as she sat at the table. Her eyes watched as her best friend made up her own cup of coffee before sitting across from her. "I wouldn't be able to sleep next to Rachel either." She smirked at the glare the blonde gave her.

"What is so wrong with Rachel?"

"She talks too much. She's loud…" Santana trailed off, still smirking at Quinn's glare. "Like that shit really scares me Q, you know better than that."

"It's a habit. You drive me nuts sometimes."

"Oh you love me you know you do." She winked at the blonde who just continued glaring at her. "Britts and me are going out this morning. Have appointments starting at 10 and going through like 4… you coming with us?"

She'd already thought about it. Quinn knew that for the next few days Brittany and Santana would be spending most of their days out looking at houses. She really did enjoy spending the day with them, but in reality she hadn't had much time to herself since getting out of the hospital. The mornings when she woke up before everybody else, she valued the peacefulness that it brought her. Granted, her thoughts weren't always pleasant, but it allowed her the chance she needed to try and figure things out in her head.

"I think I'll pass. Somebody needs to unpack everything and Rachel's busy every day with the studio."

Santana nodded. She remembered everything with Brittany after she had dealt with her own ordeal. Brittany had days where she just wanted to be alone, and as much as Santana didn't want to leave her she knew she had to. "It's cool, there's always tomorrow."

"Yea. Since you're up…" Quinn abandoned her coffee cup as she stood up. "You can help me unpack some."

The Latina grunted her disapproval but stood up anyway and followed the blonde back into the living room. "You're lucky I love you Fabray."

* * *

><p><strong><em>Oh yea, to address a review I got for last chapter calling me selfish because I wanted reviews. I'm the type of person who thinks that if very fewnobody comments on the chapter then it was a bad chapter. I will be the first to admit that I'm a review whore :D Reviews help me to breathe each day._**

**_So, all I'm asking for for Christmas, is reviews :D_**


	16. Chapter 15

**_Now you're going to see why the last chapter was a filler... a happier chapter on Christmas. Because, if it wasn't for that chapter, this one would have fallen on the holiday._**

**_Doing this ENTIRE chapter in first person from Quinn's point of view. This will probably be the only chapter that this will be done with. There is a reason that this is in first person and you will find out as the chapter progresses._**

**_WARNING: THIS IS A HIGHLY SENSITIVE CHAPTER!_**

**_It's possible the most intensely emotional of any of the chapters in this entire story. Again, you've been warned!_**

**_Thanks to Jennception for looking this over for me._**

**_Enjoy your early update people!_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Chapter 15_**

**_January 21 – 9:30AM_**

I watched her. She was honestly the most beautiful women I'd ever laid eyes on. Even after all these years together I could never get tired of looking at Rachel. "You sure you'll be okay here by yourself?"

Why did she have to do that? Why? Why couldn't she just let well enough alone and deal with the fact that I wanted to be alone for a few hours? How could that be so hard for her to understand? Yes, I'd just gotten out of the hospital after nearly being killed. Yes, I'm still dealing with the things that Jim had done to me and my body. And yes, I wanted to be alone. I had things to figure out and being alone was the only way I could do it.

"Yes Rachel. I'll be fine. And if I need anything I'll give one of you guys a call. I promise." And it wasn't an empty promise either. I knew deep down I could rely on any of them for help if I really needed it. I hated nothing more than having to rely on another person… it's why I hardly talked about what happened to me to any of them. Because I didn't like letting other people into my thoughts. Nobody needed to know what was going on in my mind. Over the years, I've learned that my mind is a bad place for anybody, especially myself.

"Alright. I love you." She leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to my lips before grabbing her purse and phone than walking to the door. "I'll call you on one of our breaks."

"I love you too."

Once she was gone I let out the breath I'd been holding. Finally. Just as soon as I heard the garage door closing, I knew I'd be completely alone. The entire day was planned out. In a way. I was just planning on unpacking and than making a nice dinner for everybody. A bit of a thank you for everything that had transpired over the past month. Never had I expected any of them to do what they had for me. Not after the words Jim had planted into my mind.

_"Nobody loves you. You're just a whore."_

My eyes slammed shut, and I took a few deep breaths to calm my nerves. I was starting to think that I'd never forget his voice… ever. I want to just forget everything and pretend like nothing happened. I want everything back to normal. I want my life back to what it was before him. I want to be able to touch Rachel randomly. I miss the moments I'd wake up to find myself curled up tightly in her arms because I'd gotten cold the night before.

He took all that from me though. He ruined everything. Jim ruined it all. He ruined it for us ten years ago… but now it was worse. I could barely stand the thought of being touched. It took all I had to let Rachel kiss me or to kiss her. Because I remembered his lips on me.

I stood up from my spot at the table and went back into the living room. There were only a few boxes left in there that had to be gone through. It should only take an hour or two to get everything up and the boxes broken down for the trash. I made myself comfortable on the floor and pulled the first box in front of me. Thankfully all that was in it appeared to be papers from the desk.

Look at that… buried in the middle of all the papers was a picture from Santana and Brittany's wedding. I smiled as I remembered it. It was held back in Lima, much to everybody's surprise because it was common knowledge how much Santana truly hated our home town. It was obvious she'd done it for Brittany. Lord knows she'd do anything for Brittany. Just like I'd do anything for Rachel. I'd give my life for Rachel… Just like I'd told Jim I would.

I told him to do whatever he wanted to me just as long as he didn't touch my wife. And he did just that… he did whatever he wanted to me. I had to live through everything that Elizabeth had told me in that court room ten years ago. She talked about how he raped her over and over again until she passed out. That's what happened to me. I remember the feeling of him entering me. The pain was overwhelming. It was nothing like my first time. At least Puck was somewhat gentle with me. I hadn't been with a guy since Puck, and that was 23 years ago when I was still trying to come to terms with being gay. I had used him as a way to try to prove to myself that I was straight. The whole thing backfired on me… Especially when I got pregnant.

I shook my head to try and stop my mind from going there. Yes, going through boxes was the best thing to occupy my wandering mind. But it did little to help. I stumbled across an old case file. And knowing my own curiosity I just had to open it to look through it. It was of a woman who was beaten to death by her boyfriend. I remember it. Sarah's case was one of the first ones I handled on my own. It was also a case that was easily won because of the neighbor that had seen and heard the entire thing.

Even after all these years studying law, I still couldn't understand the mentality of people who hurt others on purpose. It was one thing to say something without thinking and hurting someone's feelings, but it was another to physically beat the shit out of them for saying something wrong… or even just for not doing something. I could never raise my hand to Rachel for being late getting home from work. Nobody ever deserved such things.

My heart stopped though when I got to the bottom of the box. It was a picture I hadn't seen in years. Glee Club. There were three pictures in total. They were from our sophomore, junior, and senior years in high school. I couldn't help but stare at the bottom one in the pile. It was from sophomore year. I was standing on the right side of the group and my swollen stomach was completely visible. I was six months pregnant in that picture. Pregnant with Beth. The child that I was graced with holding and seeing for a grand total of three minutes.

Three minutes was all I got with my daughter. My eyes started misting with tears I no longer tried to control. I was a failure. What kind of person gives away their own child? Why couldn't I have tried just a little bit harder and stepped up to be a mother to her. Beth would be almost 23 right now. May 20th and she'll be 23 years old. God I'm such a horrible person. I leaned back against the sofa and started rubbing my own stomach, much like I'd done while I was pregnant with Beth. The action was soothing. In my other hand I gripped the picture and stared at it. Beth was a result of my confusion. The confusion about my feelings for Rachel brought Beth into this world. It brought in a girl that was being punished with not knowing who I was because I couldn't grow up enough to keep her and raise her myself. I loved her with every fiber of my being. How could I not? I carried her for 9 months. I helped give her life… a life that I ruined by handing her away to someone else.

My fingers tightened on the picture as my other hand dug into my stomach. I'd never know what it was like to have a child. Rachel and I were getting too old to even try. There was no way we'd be able to keep up with a new born. Especially not with Rachel's career.

Just the thoughts of everything made my stomach turn. It was something that happened a lot as of late. My wandering thoughts caused me to get sick. I quickly made my way into the bathroom. I barely made it though before I lost what little food I ate for breakfast. With everything lately, I hadn't been eating much again because nothing tasted good as it came back up. It was the same as it was all those years ago. I was barely able to eat anything. The minute it would hit my stomach it would come right back up.

Just like when I was pregnant…

Oh god…

Once my stomach finished convulsing I sat back against the wall. I couldn't be pregnant… could I? Everything was the same. The nauseous feeling, the fatigue was already hitting me. Granted I already didn't sleep much, whenever I was able to I was always tired. As I sat there, I thought. My last period was in November, right after Thanksgiving. That was almost two months ago… I couldn't do this again. I stood up and rinsed my mouth. At least there was a small little convenience store a few blocks down the road…

**_January 21 – 3:00PM_**

I've been starring at it for more than three hours. Why was it so hard? Oh wait. I know why it's so hard. I don't want my life to come to an end. It feels like it's already there, but I really don't need the confirmation. I leaned on the counter, my eyes closing while I finally summoned up the last of my courage to open the box and pull out one of the tests.

A few minutes later I was sitting on my bed starring at the clock. The sudden filth washed over my body. The filth that he made me feel. The filth I could never get rid of no matter how much I tried. I showered for hours and it didn't help. I could still feel him all over me. I could still feel him pounding into me. I could still feel his breath on my face, I could hear his grunts of pleasure in my ears. Nothing I ever did could get rid of it. He was forever a part of me.

A positive test would be the end. I couldn't do it anymore if that test was positive. How could I survive knowing his offspring was growing inside of me? I'm sure Rachel would understand. Right?

God… how could I leave Rachel? The tears started and no matter what I did I couldn't stop them. How could I leave Rachel, Brittany and Santana? I'm sure they'd all understand… right? They would understand. I'm sure if they were in the same situation as me they'd leave this horrible world and want to start all over again in the afterlife. That's the smart thing to do, right?

In frustration, I ran my fingers through my hair. Based on what Brittany and Santana had told me, Rachel was a total wreck while I was gone. While Jim had me… while Jim ruined everything. Our lives will never be the same as they were before. I couldn't even let my wife touch me last night. How could she still love me if I was pregnant? Why would she love someone who's carrying the child of another person in their body? Would she still love me once I was fat and ugly and yelling at her every two seconds for absolutely no reason? Who would love somebody like that?

I'm sure it's only a matter of time before Rachel left me anyway. She won't want to be with me. She'll want to find someone who she can actually touch and who would be able to touch her. I don't know how long it'll be until I can touch her. If I can ever touch her. I want so badly to be with her, but I can't. I can't let her see me. I'm nothing but damaged goods and I'm sure she'll understand that when I'm gone and watching over her from the other side.

Even if it's negative, I don't know how much longer I'd be able to go on. He torments every second of every day that I'm alive. Whether I'm asleep or awake, he's there. He's in jail 3,000 miles away from me and I still can't get away from him. Will I ever be able to get away from him? I shook my head at my own thoughts. I'll never get away from him. It took me having a mental breakdown to get over him ten years ago.

I was dangerously close to falling over the edge right now. And as I rocked on the mattress I felt myself slipping further away from reality. One of these days, Rachel wasn't going to come home to me. She'll find someone on set that will treat her better than I ever could. She'll find someone that can love her unconditionally. Why should I wait for that day to come? Why couldn't I just end it now before having to deal with my wife leaving me because I'm nothing but broken. I'm damaged goods. I'm a nobody. I'm nothing but a victim now. I can't even practice criminal law anymore because I won't be able to handle dealing with other victims in similar cases.

My heart stopped when the timer went off. The timer that held my fate in its hands. With a shaky hand I reached out to turn it off before making my way into the bathroom.

That's when it happened.

My world was over.

On the small plastic stick sealed my fate. I threw it in the garbage and screamed at the top of my lungs. Before I could stop myself the mirror was shattered. I saw the blood pouring out of my fist but I didn't feel it. I felt nothing. It was positive. I _was_ pregnant. Even though most of me knew that before taking the test. I remembered all the signs from Beth.

I couldn't breathe. I gripped my hands on the counter, not caring that the broken mirror continued to dig into my skin. I didn't feel it. My eyes landed on a few bottles in the medicine cabinet. I had to end it. I didn't have a choice. How could this child be brought into the world to a mother that was psychotic and another mother who was going to always be busy working. It wasn't fair. Just like it wasn't fair that I was so broken.

I wrapped my hand around the lid of one of the bottles, I didn't even notice what it was. I popped the lid open and dumped a handful into my mouth. They tasted horrible going down, but there was no choice left. I had NO choice. I had to do this. I just hoped that people would understand in the end. I prayed that Rachel wouldn't be the one to find me. She wouldn't be able to handle it like Santana would.

The empty bottle landed on the floor. It was then that I realized it was sleeping pills. Hopefully they wouldn't take long to sink in. It felt like an eternity passed. Why weren't they working? Why wasn't I already on my way to the afterlife and leaving everything behind me. Once again I can't get something to work my way.

My eyes came to land on the broken shards of glass from the mirror. Most of them were already covered in the blood that was still pouring out of my hand. I must have really dug deep with that one punch. With my left hand I wrapped my fingers around one of the larger pieces and picked it up. I had already tried with my right, but I couldn't get my battered fingers to cooperate with me to pick up the piece.

I love you Rachel. This is for the best. I know you'll understand. You always understood me. Through everything, you never questioned anything I've ever done in my life. Not even in high school when I treated you so horribly.

My eyes closed again as I felt the sweet pulling pain along my arm as the first cut was made. The medicine had started to kick in because I barely made the first cut before the glass fell out of my weakened hand. I can do this though. I _have_ to do this. Please don't have me Rachel.

Another cut.

More blood.

The once white sink was now going to be permanently stained red from me. Yet another thing I've messed up. My hand was shaking as I quickly raked the glass over my arm. There was so much blood. My head was spinning. I felt weak… I had succeeded. I knew there would still be time before Santana and Brittany got back. What I didn't expect though, was Rachel's voice carrying through the house.

"Oh my god Quinn! Baby! You'll never guess who I ran into today on set!"

God what have I done. Rachel's voice sounded so far away. I could barely hear her. I looked down at the blood streaming freely out of the open wounds on my right forearm. "I'm sorry." I didn't even hear my own voice. I wasn't even sure if I had thought the words, or actually said them. The only thing I was sure of was losing my ability to stand up.

"Quinn?" The bathroom door opened just as my body landed on the floor. "Quinn!"

* * *

><p><strong><em>Well now... Um... yes. Don't kill me? Please? :D Quinn's finally hit rock bottom...literally... Okay yea that was wrong of me to say. <em>**

**_Next update will be coming along on Sunday, as usual. And then I'm going back to ever Sunday from there. _**

**_Do me a favor guys, be safe this New Year's Eve. If you plan on going out and drinking... make sure you've got a DD or money for a cab. Or if you're going to a party, just stay there the night. Okay, now that I've got that out of my system and made myself sound like an old bitty... reviews always welcome._**

**_Oh, one last thing. _**

**_Is there anything you'd all like to see happen? Any ideas I can maybe work off of? I'm not that far ahead in the story, only in chapter 18, about to start 19 now. So... a trial? Jim... I need help peoples :D_**

**_I will credit you for any ideas you give me, swear on my cat Zeus I will :D_**

**_Okay, I'm off to play more Modern Warfare 3. If you have it on the PS3, add me, my PSN is in my profile. I'm no professional, hell I kind of suck, but I like playing, and that's what matters._**


	17. Chapter 16

**_EDIT: HAD to update this after getting a review that I got. This is by no means a way of bashing Quinn, it's a real look at what some women go through after a rape. As far as the accuracy thing goes, I'm sorry that not everything is perfect. There are SOME medicines out there that a pregnant woman can take. And to say about the doctor's not checking for pregnancy when she was first brought into the hospital...it would have been too early to know. She would have been like two days pregnant, so blood work and stuff, which I did say they did, wouldn't have shown anything._**

**_Okay, I feel better now. Sorry some inaccuracies are bothering you THAT much. It's a story, it's not real life. And at least I'm not saying that she's growing a lizard -_-_**

**_So um, yea... Happy New Year Everybody :D Don't have much to say here today, other than that there's a LOT of little scenes in this chapter. I'm not exactly happy with it, it seems choppy to me, because it covers like 3 days. So uh, yea..._**

**_This chapter's kinda unbeta'd, I think it has a lot to do with conflicting schedules, plus the holidays. I'm not upset about it :) Plus I'm a little impatient and I wanted to get this chapter posted for all you lovely people. Enjoy :D_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>_****_Chapter 16_**

**_January 21 – 4:45PM_**

Rachel sat on her chair in the waiting room. Hands gripping the hair near the back of her head as she starred at the same spot on the floor. Her eyes were swollen with tears and were currently burning with new ones that had yet to be shed. The only time she moved since she sat down was to simply rock back and forth. It had always been something her dads did with her when she was a child and had a nightmare. Usually, it was calming. Now, though, it did nothing for her.

The 30 minutes she'd spent sitting in the same spot allowed her adequate time for her mind to finally process everything that had happened. She'd been so excited to tell Quinn about her day on set. But the minute she opened the bathroom door to see her wife falling to the floor, everything was forgotten. The only thing in her head at that point… Save Quinn. She ran on pure adrenaline. It was only now that she could allow everything to sink in. The pill bottle. The broken mirror. The cuts. There was blood everywhere.

The star remembered ten years ago, when Santana had found her mutilating herself. By the time she'd gotten there the Latina already had her friend cleaned up and Rachel didn't have to see the blood. It's not that she was squeamish or anything. But it's totally different when the injuries belong to someone you love. It was like she was stuck in a horror movie, with no way out.

The text message she sent to Santana and Brittany was so rushed that she hoped they'd be able to understand it. They still hadn't arrived, but it was understandable, the traffic in Los Angeles was worse than it was in New York City. She vaguely remembered them telling her about rushing her into surgery for a blood transfusion and to mend tendons in her arm that had been sliced by the glass.

Rachel felt like she was in a dream.

"Usually I'd poke fun at this text you sent us…" Santana started out, drawing Rachel away from her thoughts. It had taken her and Brittany a few minutes to decipher '_Quinnn hosspal bad_' but once they did they were on their way in a heartbeat. Neither hesitated to cancel their last house appointment. "What's going on?" The Latina sat on one side of Rachel, Brittany on the other.

"There… there… blood... oh god i-it was everywhere." Rachel hadn't even looked up from the floor but she was well aware of the two pairs of arms that were wrapping around her body. "They…" she trailed off to take a deep breath, "they said… if I had been 10 more minutes…"

She didn't have to finish her sentence for either of her friends to understand what she was implying. Brittany's body shook some with tears. Santana's eyes were watering, but just like before, she had to take care of Rachel. She could cry later, when her and Brittany were alone. "How long she been back there?"

"Half hour." Rachel found herself being pulled into Brittany's tight embrace once Santana stood up to walk to the nurse's station. "What if she…" She was unable to finish the question to her dear friend as a fresh set of tears started rolling down her cheeks. She couldn't even begin to imagine live without Quinn. She'd always hoped that when the time came for them to move on to the afterlife, that they would go together. That way neither one was left behind.

"She's been through so much Rach. She'll be okay. I just know it." Brittany forced a smile before kissing the brunette's forehead.

* * *

><p>"How can I help you ma'am?" A woman around Santana's age looked up from her computer and smiled warmly.<p>

"Quinn Berry-Fabray. Is there any word on her?" The Latina swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to keep her nerves calm. She always hated talking to people like them because she had a short fuse whenever she was refused what she wanted. "And before you tell me you can't tell me…" she paused to motion to her wife who was holding the trembling brunette, "that's her wife. The one crying. She can barely speak in complete sentences."

The woman nodded before searching for something that Santana assumed to be Quinn's file. After a sigh she brought her eyes to look at the Latina's. "There's no word yet ma'am. It appears she's still in surgery."

"Surgery? For what?"

After a quick look around she motioned Santana to the side of the desk, away from another person speaking with a nurse. "When she was brought it, she was barely alive. She'd already slipped into a drug induced coma. The lacerations on her arm severed tendons and veins, they needed to be repaired. And while she's under they were going to pump her stomach."

"Do… do you know what she took?"

"Her wife reported a bottle of Tylenol PM on the floor of the bathroom." The nurse moved back to her spot at the computer before looking up again. "The minute the doctor comes out I'll send him your way."

A long, shaky breath escaped Santana's lungs.

**_January 21 – 5:20PM_**

"Mrs. Berry-Fabray?" A graying man asked as he stood in front of the three woman. Rachel's eyes shot up to meet his. "May I speak with you in private?" Rachel stood up on shaky legs. The grip she had on Santana and Brittany's hands never faltered. "Um…?" He looked down at Rachel before looking at the other two women.

"They're family. They need to know too."

The doctor nodded before leading the three women into a private conference room. "My name is Doctor Ire." He spoke before taking a seat. The man waited for them to sit down before continuing. "Surgery was successful. The transfusion went as planned and her body is not having any reaction to the new blood. I was able to repair the damage done to her tendons and veins as well as get her stomach pumped before the sleeping pills were able to take full effect."

"So, she's okay?" Brittany asked, her hand tightening around Rachel's when she felt it start to tremble.

"Yes ma'am. But we had to restrain her after she woke up. She attacked one of our nurses who was trying to replace the IV bag with a fresh one."

"Re… restrained how?" Rachel finally found her voice to speak. Her eyes met with his briefly before she glanced at Santana for help.

"We had to restrain her to the bed with straps ma'am. The minute she woke up she started screaming, and it only got worse when he got closer to her."

"You _have_ to take the straps off of her!" Rachel stood up quickly.

The doctor leaned forward in his seat to watch her. "Mrs. Berry-Fabray, it's for everybody's safety."

Santana stepped in without hesitation. "Look, either you take those straps off of her or you'll be facing a lawsuit. You don't know Quinn's past. Strapping her down will only make her outbursts worse."

"I'm afraid I cannot do that ma'am."

"Listen you prick. Two things are going to happen. One…" She placed her hands on the table as she stood up, "you will unstrap her from that bed. And two, there will be no male anybody in that room with her."

Doctor Ire was not impressed by the Latina's outburst. "I understand this is a trying time for everybody involved. But you have to understand that she attacked one of the hospital's workers. It's for everybody's safety that she remained restrained."

Brittany had moved to Rachel's side and wrapped her arms around the petite brunette while Santana continued to have her words with the doctor. "Let me give you a little input into what happened to Quinn. Two months ago she spent a week chained to a bed where she was repeatedly beaten and raped by a man." She saw the doctor's features immediately soften. "So, you will no longer be her doctor and she will be free to move around on that bed. She completely loses her shit every time a man is near her because of what happened. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes ma'am. I will contact Doctor Syrus to take over treatment of Quinn." He stood from his seat to take a few steps closer to Rachel. "One last thing." He spoke solemnly. Now that he knew the situation with his newest patient, he knew the last part wouldn't be good news. "The drugs and blood loss… did not affect the baby."

Rachel's heart stopped. It suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe. Had she heard him right? The baby? She suddenly felt her legs give out and she fell into Brittany's embrace. Her mind barely registered the blonde speaking. "Can we see her? Please?"

"Of course, she's been moved up to the psychiatric ward for further evaluation. Follow me."

* * *

><p>"Get the fuck away from me!" Quinn screamed at the guy who was currently injecting something into her IV line. "Get away!" She pulled violently on the thick leather straps around her wrists and ankles as her body trembled. He was too close to her. He was doing something to her that she didn't know. She had no idea what was in that needle that he was trying to give to her.<p>

All she remembered was Jim. He had injected her with things that she had no idea what they were. The only thing she knew was that it knocked her out. "Daniel, can I speak with you outside?"

Quinn was barely able to register the strange male voice in the room. She just knew that she couldn't get free and her eyes burned from so much crying. Her throat ached from screaming and the tube used to clear her stomach contents. "Just leave me alone already!" Quinn screamed again. "Why couldn't you bastards just let me die huh?"

"Baby?" Rachel's voice cracked as she struggled to unlatch the straps from her wife's wrists. "Quinn, honey it's me." She rested her hand on the blonde's cheek to get her attention.

Quinn's eyes narrowed some as she looked up at her wife. "Why?" Was all she said.

"How are you feeling?" Rachel ignored the question as she sat down on one of the seats beside Quinn's bed. Her eyes never left her wife.

The blonde frowned at Rachel. It was obvious her wife had been crying her eyes out. But why? Why did Rachel care so much about her. Why did Rachel have to come home just when she did and save her? Why couldn't she just let her die like she wanted to? "Why do you care?" She spat out, her voice was dry and cracked some from the soreness.

Rachel bit back some tears before glancing up at Brittany and Santana. They just glanced at each other before leaving the room and pulling the door shut behind them. "I care because I love you Quinn." The blonde just turned away, her eyes become focused on the bandage that covered her right hand and arm. "Why did you do it?" Again there was no answer. The silence was succeeding in bringing more tears to Rachel's already swollen eyes.

"It would have been better." Quinn's eyes closed. She allowed her mind to take her away. To take her to a place where she could actually be happy. A place far away from the hospital bed she was currently laying on.

"How?" Rachel pleaded with her wife. When Quinn didn't so much as move she rested her head on the mattress near Quinn's hip and just watched her stare off into space. "How would it be better?" Still, nothing. At this point, Rachel wasn't even sure if her wife was hearing anything she was saying. "I can't live without you Quinn. Why can't you see that?"

**_January 22 – 8:30AM_**

"Are you going to talk to me this time Quinn?" A younger woman who'd introduced herself as Emily spoke to the blonde. And once again Quinn was off in her own little world. "I can't help you if you don't talk to me."

"Why do you care? You just want a paycheck." Quinn was looking right at her. But in her eyes anybody could see she wasn't actually looking at her but through her. Every word Emily spoke registered in the blonde's mind, even though she was still off in her own little world of 'happy.'

Emily closed her notebook and leaned closer to the blonde. "I'm not just here for a paycheck Quinn. I'm here because I like to help people." The blonde just let out a dry laugh before silence once again filled the room. "You might think that nobody cares, but I've met your wife Quinn, she hasn't left this hospital since you came in yesterday. And your two friends… Brittany and Santana right? Have been crying their eyes out just as much as your wife. You're not alone. You have people that care about you."

Quinn's voice was bitter. "Santana doesn't cry."

"Well she is." Emily paused to open up her notebook again to continue taking notes. "I'm not here to psychoanalyze everything you tell me Quinn. Even though there's not much to go on since this is the first time you've actually spoken to me."

"I'll ask again, why do you care?"

"You know…" Emily looked up from her notebook, changing the subject away from Quinn's question. "If Rachel had gotten home just 10 minutes later she'd be busy planning your funeral right now."

A long silence filled the room as Quinn allowed the psychologist's words to sink in. Why had she truly done what she'd done? That question had been playing in her mind ever since she woke up to realize that it wasn't her time to die just yet. She survived Jim's assault on a daily basis, why couldn't she survive the aftermath of it. "I feel sick." And it wasn't a lie. Her stomach had been doing back flips again. She gratefully accepted the bucket that Emily had handed to her and dry heaved into it. The only thing that came up was water. Water was the only thing in her stomach, the only thing she'd been able to keep down. Hell, it was the only thing she'd put in her mouth. The rest of her nutrients came through her IV since she refused to eat.

"Would you like some fresh water?" All Quinn could do was nod before another dry heave hit her and some more liquid came up her already raw throat. "Here…" Quinn took the paper cup from the woman before taking a small sip. She swished it around in her mouth before spitting it into the bucket and leaning back on the bed.

"Tell Rachel to go home."

"I don't think she'll listen to me."

"She won't listen to me either."

"That's because she loves you."

Quinn turned her eyes to look out the window. It was pouring rain outside. Usually Quinn loved the sound of the rain hitting the roof or the window… But now it was just depressing her even more. If only she'd never gotten those flowers for Rachel than everything would be alright. "I don't understand why."

"Why do you say that? From what Rachel told me you two have been together since high school, is that right?" Quinn nodded. "That's an awful long time to be with someone that you don't love."

"I'm not the same person I once was…" Quinn felt a single tear slide down her cheek. "Can I just be alone for a while?"

"I'll let Rachel know." Emily closed her notebook and stood from her seat before leaving the room.

Once the door was closed and Quinn knew that Rachel wasn't coming back in she pulled her knees to her chest and cried. She cried until her head hurt and she had no tears left to cry. She knew deep down that Rachel loved her unconditionally. But why? Quinn was nothing but a battered and broken woman who couldn't even stay in physical contact with her wife for more than a few minutes at a time. She woke up in the middle of the night screaming from nightmares. Everywhere she looked she saw Jim. Every sound reminded her of him. Every smell, in some way took her back to that dark room that had been her dungeon for nearly a week.

What if she hadn't of broken free? She would have been dead right now. Jim told her himself that he was getting bored with her. She'd figured out that 'bored' meant he planned to kill her. And knowing the torture he'd put her through while she was his captive, it wouldn't have been a very quick or painless death. He would have made her suffer… much like she's making Rachel suffer with her own selfishness.

She reached again for the bucket that Emily had given her and emptied the contents of her stomach into it. Once again it was nothing other than water. How could she have gotten herself into this mess? What made her decide to practice law in the first place? If it wasn't for that, none of this would be happening to them… right? That's what she told herself at least… All of this was her fault. Nobody else's but her own. It's her fault that Jim did what he did. It's her fault that she was stupid enough to try taking pills and cutting herself to die. She could have done it better. She should have done it better.

"Quinn?"

When the blonde heard the voice she realized that her alone time was over. She hadn't even known how long she'd been lost in her thoughts. "Hi." Was all she said. How could she even look at Rachel knowing she was such a failure. Did Rachel think the same? "I'm sorry I failed you." She felt the bed dip beside her and knew her wife had taken up residence on the bed with her.

"What do you mean?"

"I've been thinking about things… you never should have forgiven me all those years ago… then you wouldn't be in this situation."

"Quinn, look at me." Rachel waited until her wife turned to meet her eyes before continuing. "None of this is your fault. I'm here because I love you. I forgave you all those years ago because I loved you then too. We've already talked about that before. You were the first person I ever fell in love with Quinn. I fell in love with you while you were still tormenting me, I never understood why you did it until I saw you and Santana in the locker room and heard you screaming _my_ name."

The minute Rachel's hand touched hers she was overcome with fresh tears. Tears that shook her whole body. She couldn't say anything else. All she could do was allow Rachel to wrap her arms around her body and gently rock her. A habit that was formed after Quinn's last breakdown, to calm her.

**_January 23 – 7:00AM_**

It had been going on too long now. Santana was feeling anxious. Quinn hadn't said anything to any of them since yesterday morning. She knew that the woman was lost in thought but given everything that had happened, she would have thought Quinn would have trusted them enough to fill them in on everything. All of this hit too close to home. She remembered in extreme detail how far gone Brittany had become before she finally got the help she needed. "I know you can hear us Q. You need to talk to someone." Santana all but pleaded. "You need to get help."

When there was no response she leaned up to whisper in Brittany's ear. When the taller blonde nodded, Santana watched her make her way to Rachel and lead the reluctant woman out of the room. Once the door was closed Santana didn't even hesitate to smack the blonde in the back of the head.

"The hell was that for?" Quinn stared up at her friend before rubbing the back of her head with her unbandaged hand.

"I had to make sure you were still conscious. Fuck Quinn, we've all been talking to you nonstop since yesterday and you haven't acknowledged any of it!" Santana snapped at her friend. She'd finally reached her boiling point. She never intended to actually strike Quinn, but out of reflex, she couldn't stop herself. "Look, I'm sorry I smacked you, but dammit Quinn you're not the only one hurting here! You know… there's only four times in my life now that I've seen Rachel speechless. They all seem to revolve around your dumb ass for some reason."

"San…" Quinn started. Truth was, she didn't want the lecture. Especially since it started out the exact same way as the one she received ten years ago.

"Oh so _now_ you want to talk? I think you can wait your turn… Rachel was speechless at your wedding, during your first breakdown, when we all realized you'd been kidnapped… and now you pull this shit on her? Thought you learned your lesson last time Q."

Quinn wasn't going to back down from the challenging looks the Latina was currently giving her. "It's different this time."

"No, it's not. You're being just as selfish as you were last time. You're only thinking of yourself. What about Brittany and me… most of all Q, what about Rachel? While you were chugging pills and drawing pretty little designs in your arm did you ever once stop to think about her? You're not the only one hurting Quinn. God B and I could barely get her to do anything but sit and stare into space while you were missing."

"I-"

"I'm not done!" Santana snapped. She knew Quinn needed this reality check to move on with her life. "That sick fuck is in jail awaiting trial because he's a flight risk. At least your rapist is behind bars. Imagine how Brittany felt knowing that hers got away with it. How do you think she felt about that? Jesus Quinn. I've been in Rachel's shoes dealing with this. Brittany still sometimes has nightmares from it. But you know what? I'm there for her. Just like Rachel's _trying_ to do for you. She wants to help you and your selfish ass won't let her."

"I don't need help."

The Latina's hands flew up in the air as she mocked, "oh no you're perfectly fine!" She leaned against the foot of the bed. "That's why you sucked down half a bottle of sleeping pills and treated your arm like it was a turkey on Thanksgiving that needed carved. Sure as hell sounds like you're fine to me."

"Fuck you Santana. You don't know what's going on in my head."

"Do you?" When she got no response she continued, "you're thinking only about yourself Quinn. You have to talk to that Emily girl. You need someone to help you… To help you more than any of us can. Think of your health. Think of everybody else… Quinn, think of the baby."

"That's all I've been thinking about San… I can't think about anything else…"

Santana sighed, immediately losing her attitude when she saw the lost look in her best friend's eyes. "Look… you have to realize you can't do this on your own. Healing can't be done by yourself. And something as big as the baby…" Santana trailed off before sitting on the bed beside Quinn and wrapping her arms around her shoulders. "Sweetie, you need help. Please. For Rachel. I know how much you love her and how much she loves you."

Quinn went quiet, allowing the words to sink in. '_For Rachel_.' She'd do anything for Rachel… She buried her face into Santana's neck and allowed herself to completely calm down. "Okay." One simply word answered everything that Santana had just told her. Okay, she'd talk with whatever person that came in to help her. Okay, she knew she had to think about the others and not just herself. And okay… what to do about _it_ was entirely up to her.

**_January 23 – 10:30AM_**

"Finding out you're pregnant pushed you over the edge then?" Emily continued writing her notes about everything Quinn had told her. She couldn't have been more thrilled that the older woman finally decided to let everything out.

"I can't touch my wife. I can't be in the presence of men and I'm pregnant at 38 years old. All because of him. He… he just fucked everything up."

"Based on everything you've told me, I'm going to recommend an anti-depressant as well as an anxiety medication for you. I'll just need to check with your doctor first because of the pregnancy." Quinn's sharp intake of air alerted her to an issue. "Do you know what to do about the child yet? Have you thought about your options?"

"It's all I've been thinking about. The baby's not there by choice…" She swallowed thickly and hoped she wouldn't be judged by her wife for her decision. "I need… to talk to Rachel."

"Just make sure you remember… in a situation like this, you need to be in control of your body and of the outcome. Don't let anybody sway your own decision." Emily folded her notebook closed and stood up. "I'll be in to talk to you some more tomorrow, and I'll let Rachel know we're done."

"Thanks."

The door didn't even close completely after Emily left before Rachel came running in. "Hey, you okay?" The brunette carefully picked up Quinn's left hand and threaded their fingers together.

Quinn looked deep into Rachel's eyes for several minutes before she finally spoke. She'd come to her conclusion the day before while she was in the middle of her silent treatment to everybody. It was when it had finally sank in that it wasn't her time to die just yet. There was a reason for everything, which told her there was a reason the baby was growing inside of her. "I want to keep the baby."

Rachel was at a loss for words. She carefully took a seat on the bed next to Quinn to give her mind a chance to catch up. "Are you sure? I mean, there are… options."

"I've been thinking about it ever since I woke up. I don't believe in abortion Rachel. I never have. That's why Beth was born."

"There's always adoption too honey. I'll understand." Rachel placed her forehead to Quinn's and searched her eyes for any sign that she was uncomfortable.

"Remember what I went through after I handed Beth away?" She shook her own head at the thoughts. "I can't do that again Rach. Not now, I barely handled it 23 years ago… I'll understand if you don't want to stay with me because of it…" Quinn started to pull away. She'd been preparing herself for Rachel wanting to leave her ever since she returned home and Rachel started looking at her differently.

Rachel turned to look right into Quinn's eyes before smiling softly. "I would never leave you. We just… weren't meant to have children until now."

**_February 12, 2021_**

_It was attempt number six. The last five tries didn't work out in their favor. Every single time failed. For both of them. Both Quinn and Rachel had been alternating their attempt in hopes that something would stick. Number five looked positive until three months in and Rachel had miscarried. They were close to completely giving up by then. A year of failed pregnancies._

_Now, they both sat on their bed, hands clasped tightly together as they waited. Just like all the other times, it felt like an eternity until the little alarm on Rachel's phone would sound._

_"What if it's negative Rach?" Quinn was getting tired of all the silence._

_"Then we'll simply try again." The Broadway starlet nodded her head in typical Rachel Berry Determination._

_Hazel eyes made contact with the floor near their feet before she sighed. "I'm tired of the heartache Rach… especially after last time. If this is negative… I don't want to try anymore."_

_Rachel's head snapped toward Quinn for a moment before she looked away and sighed. "I'm tired of the broken hearts too honey." She reached out to gently grasp Quinn's cheek, forcing their eyes to lock together. "We could always get a dog."_

_"Or cat." Quinn giggled at the stereotypical lesbian image that popped into her head. Rachel's mind must have conjured up a similar picture because soon their laughter was filling the room._

_Until Rachel's alarm went off._

_"Whatever that test says… I love you."_

_"I love you too Rachel." Quinn stole a soft, short kiss before heading to the bathroom._

"It's going to be hard. Rachel, we're not as young as we once were anymore."

"I know that. But… with you changing your practice, your job will become a 9-5 with a lot less stress. And by the time the baby gets here I'll be done shooting '_Road To Nowhere._' Which means I'll be at home to help. Yes, we're not as young as we once were, but that can be to our advantage. It means we're older and wiser, not to mention completely secure financially. Everything will work out in the end."

"Promise?" Quinn rested her head on Rachel's shoulder and closed her eyes.

"Promise." The starlet rested her cheek against the top of her wife's head. Two things were certain to Rachel. First, she couldn't have been happier that her wife was going to be alright. And second… she never expected when she told Quinn she'd hoped for 'new joys' for this year that it would mean a child.

A child that would be a constant reminder of what happened. But a child they could call theirs. Nobody but the four of them had to know where the baby came from. What was going to be rough, would be when Quinn started showing, that's when they'd have to come clean to the media. They both knew firsthand how ruthless the press could be. Once it would get out about Quinn's pregnancy, she knew vicious rumors wouldn't be far behind. What she feared most though, was the truth getting out. Rumors they could handle, they'd dealt with them before in New York.

"No matter what happens, I love you." Rachel whispered to Quinn's sleeping form before slowly leaning back and closing her own eyes.

* * *

><p><em><strong>So... Time for the last survey everybody. Regardless of which one you pick, I am NOT taking suggestions for names. Okay?<strong>_

**_Good, so would you like them to have a boy or a girl? I'll be accepting the votes probably through chapter 18 or 19. I'll let you know whatever chapter I stop taking votes k?_**

**_So yea, what do you think? Opinions always welcome :D And Olacindy gave me some wonderful ideas for later on in the story that I plan on using!_**


	18. Chapter 17

**_I think it's going to be safe to say Quinn's going to have a girl... current standings:_**

**_Girl - 8  
>Boy - 2<em>**

**_And I need to address two reviews I received for the last chapter... since I announced Quinn was keeping the baby..._**

**_So, apparently I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot because Quinn decided to keep the child, which is a product of rape. Apparently that child is disgusting and it's disgusting to want to keep it. The child is innocent. It's not the baby's fault that it was planted inside of Quinn by that man. I hate to tell that anonymous reviewer, people keep the products of rape all the time. Quinn's NOT going to have a miscarriage, and she's NOT going to get an abortion or give the baby away. The only thing I'm sorry for is that you find something like that disgusting._**

**_Personally, if I were ever raped and found out I was pregnant, I would get an abortion, BUT everybody's different! I'm writing it like this FOR A REASON! If you don't like it, don't read it._**

**_To address another review. I apologize that not everything is completely factual, last time I checked, this was a story. A story based on fictional characters, hence making it a fictional story. I seem to recall this being a fanFICTION website. So what if Quinn's taking medicine when she's pregnant. There are some pregnancy friendly medicines out there, not everything would hurt the child._**

**_And to repeat what I said. Don't like it, don't read it :) K? Thanks :D_**

**_I do appreciate constructive criticism, but not when it's in the form of tearing the chapter/story apart. I do realize not everything's factual, and I will apologize for that. But it's just a story. I'm in no way a professional writer. I work in a retail store full time._**

**_Anyway... thanks to Jennception for looking this over for me._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Chapter 17_**

**_January 21 – 11:30AM_**

_"Rachel, we need you on set 2 to run through some choreography for the big dance scene." A stagehand announced to her while she was getting her hair and make-up touched up._

_The brunette sighed and tossed her phone into her purse before standing. She'd been texting with Santana during her break because Quinn wouldn't answer her. Truth was, she was frightened. She had been all day. But Santana had assured her that the alone time was perfectly normal._

_When Rachel walked on to set 2 she noticed, who she assumed was the choreographer, warming up with his back to her and the other actors. "Everybody…" Jason, the director, called out to get everybody's attention, including the choreographer's. "I'd like to introduce you to your instructor-"_

_But Rachel jumped in before Jason could continue. "-Michael Chang." The smile grew on her face when Mike immediately recognized her and returned her million dollar smile with one of his own._

_Jason was unamused at being interrupted. "I'm assuming you know one another?"_

_"We graduated high school together." Mike quickly walked across the room and wrapped Rachel in a tight hug. "_The_ Rachel Berry. Never thought I'd see you again."_

_Jason threw his hands up in defeat. "Fine, just delay the movie some more. Ten minutes everybody!" He yelled before walking off the set mumbling about lack of professionalism._

_"It's Berry-Fabray now actually." She smiled brightly as she pulled out of his hug to look up at him._

_"So you and Quinn?"_

_Rachel's smile just grew even wider. "Yup, me and Quinn. Married 17 years now."_

_"How is she doing?" He led them off to one of the refreshment tables but frowned when Rachel stopped mid-step. "Rachel?"_

_"We've been dealing with a lot lately. But, enough about me. What about you? Are you married, children? Come on I want details."_

_He laughed softly as he opened up a bottle of water. "You're still as talkative as ever. Tina and I got married right out of high school. We have a 15 year old daughter, Alisa, and a 10 year old son Damien."_

_"Quinn and I tried to have kids a few years back…" Rachel trailed off. It broke her heart to even think about it. They'd wanted children so badly. "We really need to get together to properly catch up. I'm sure Quinn will love it."_

_"So will Tina. Let me get your number." He pulled his phone out of his sweatpants' pocket and unlocked the screen. When he did she rattled off all ten digits. "718?" He questioned the area code._

_"We just moved here from New York." He nodded in understanding while typing out a text message so Rachel would have his number as well._

_"Alright, Is this little reunion over with now?" Jason shot at Mike and Rachel. When they didn't answer he continued. "Let's get back to work people!"_

**_January 24 – 3:00PM_**

"Mike's doing choreography for movies and music videos?" Quinn smiled softly. "Bet he enjoyed rubbing that in his father's face."

"Quinn be nice!" Rachel couldn't help but laugh at the blonde. It was nice to see the medicine and therapy were slowly starting to work. Each passing moment seemed just a little bit better than the last.

"Knock, knock…" A soft voice carried through the private hospital room.

When Quinn looked up she felt her breath catch in her throat. Fear. But it wasn't fear of a man being near her, thankfully the anxiety pills helped with that. No, it was fear of being judged by someone who knew you so many years ago. Her eyes came to rest on Mike. They drifted to the side to spot a graying Tina beside him.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel gripped her wife's hand more firmly when she felt it start to shake.

"Jason said… and I quote 'Rachel's wife is in the hospital. That seems to be more important than our schedule, she won't be back 'til next week.' So… we wanted to bring you these." He smiled shyly before offering the small bouquet of roses to Quinn.

Before they got too close, Rachel intercepted them and placed the vase on the windowsill far enough away so they wouldn't bother Quinn's allergies. She then slightly made her way across the room to hug her once dear friend Tina.

"I'm sorry we had to meet up like this…" Quinn subconsciously moved her right arm under the blanket to hide the thick bandages that still covered her healing wounds.

An awkward silence filled the room. None of them knew what to say in their current situation. Thankfully, it didn't last long. "Well, look at this." Santana's voice broke the silence. She took a moment to put one of the bags of food down before getting a better look at Mike and Tina. "Rachel told us she ran into you."

"Wait…" Tina finally spoke up. "Did she just call you Rachel?"

Brittany just bounced excitedly before wrapping her arms around Mike and then Tina. "Believe it or not… people change. And I've had the better part of 20 years to either accept the midget, or kill the midget. And I don't think Q here would have liked me killing her wife."

"But seriously… I never expected you of all people to change." Tina's words drew a soft chuckle from Quinn.

"Yes, let's all pick on Santana." The Latina pouted as she folded her arms over her chest.

"You _have_ gone soft Lopez." Quinn smirked at her dear friend. "I think it was the marriage." She made sure to throw in before Santana could speak.

She just sighed in defeat and glanced lovingly at her wife. "Yea… I think it was." When the room erupted in laughter she grabbed the discarded bag and flopped down on one of the chairs. "Oh you all can go to hell."

"There's the Santana we all know." Mike threw out before easily avoiding the salt packet that Santana had thrown his way.

Quinn leaned back against her pillows and watched the interaction of the people around her. She wasn't very close to Mike or Tina in high school, but somehow, somewhere inside of her they gave her a sense of feeling at peace. Everything _would_ be okay – she would be okay. She had people to help her out of her depression and help her move on with everything that was happening around her.

**_January 25 – 12:00PM_**

Rachel's hand hurt. But she couldn't tell Quinn that. She needed to be there. Especially now. They'd finally gotten Quinn to calm down enough to allow the sonogram. It had been four days since the pregnancy had been discovered and everybody was still trying to adjust to the news.

"You ready to see your baby?"

Quinn's body tensed at the nurse's words. "Can you just… not talk?" The blonde turned away from the nurse when she felt her t-shirt be lifted up. It all reminded her of when she was 15 years old having her very first sonogram. It's all the same. Nothing felt real. The entire situation felt like one horrible nightmare. One of those that you just can't seem to wake up from.

She couldn't stop herself from grasping when she felt the cold gel against her lower abdomen. Her eyes locked with Rachel's. Quinn pushed out a smile. She didn't know if she was trying to prove she was alright, or comfort her wife. Truth was, she was freaking out just as much as Rachel was. It would only be a few moments until…

Her thoughts were interrupted by a quick beating heart. The beating heart of the baby echoed through the room. It was soon followed by a broken sob. Quinn's eyes focused on Rachel's… who were focused on the monitor. "The baby appears to be perfectly healthy." The nurse dared to speak.

The words though, caused a flood of emotions through Quinn's body. Slowly she turned to look at the picture on the monitor. "Is that…?" With her bandaged hand she reached out to touch the picture of the baby – of _her_ baby. The baby that Rachel and her tried so long to have. She felt tears well up in her eyes. But for the first time since before _him_ they were actually happy tears. No, she wasn't happy about how the child came about, she was happy that she could finally experience a family with Rachel. The family they'd always wanted.

Rachel carefully placed her head on Quinn's shoulder and watched the small blob move on the monitor. It was their baby. Regardless of the horrible incidents that happened for that child to get there… it was still theirs and nobody would ever change that. "You're so brave Quinn."

The nurse smiled some at their reactions. "Would you like a picture?" Quinn looked up at her before nodding. "Alright, I think I can arrange that for you." She hit a few buttons on the keyboard to capture a few stills then pulled away from Quinn's stomach and wiped the remaining gel off of her skin.

"It's real." Quinn spoke before breaking down into tears. She was torn, but she couldn't tell Rachel that. Sure, she was happy that her and her wife could finally have the family they'd always wanted. But the chain of events that brought said family to them was something she wishes had never happened. All she could think about right now was Jim. That it was Jim's baby growing inside of her. It was Jim's fault. But on the flip side, part of her – a small part of her wanted to thank him for doing what all those failed attempts couldn't.

Give them a family.

"Can…" She bit her bottom lip, waiting patiently for Rachel to look at her before she continued. "Can you get Emily for me?"

The brunette frowned some. Quinn wouldn't talk to her about anything, lately it had all been about Emily. She was thankful that her wife was getting help, but hated the fact that it wasn't her giving it to her. "Are you okay?" Quinn nodded slightly before pulling Rachel down for a soft kiss. "I'll be right back."

When Rachel left the room the nurse handed Quinn a small black and white photograph. She smiled softly down at the blonde before leaving the room as well.

Quinn's eyes focused in on the tiny blob on the center of the picture. The blob that was his. The blob that would make their family complete. The more she sat there looking at the picture, the more her vision blurred with tears. It wasn't supposed to be like this for her and Rachel. They were supposed to already have their family years ago when they tried. It wasn't suppose to come from such a traumatic experience.

* * *

><p>Rachel let out a heavy sigh as she made her way through the hallways of the hospital. She hated the fact that Quinn wasn't talking to her but was opening up to a total stranger. "Is Emily available by chance?" She quietly asked one of the nurses at the station at the end of the hallway. Before the nurse even looked up at the brunette, Rachel spotted Emily coming around a corner.<p>

"Rachel, what's wrong?" The younger woman asked once she spotted Rachel's distraught expression.

"Quinn… she wants to talk to you." Rachel carefully wiped the tears out of her eyes as Emily got closer to her. When Emily's hand came to rest on her shoulder she felt herself finally lose it. She broke down in tears right in the middle of the hallway – no longer caring if anybody saw her. She was a total wreck and didn't care who knew it.

Everything was finally catching up with her. Her wife almost died because of what happened to her. She almost killed herself because of what happened to her. If she hadn't come home when she did.. Rachel slowly collapsed to her knees, her arms wrapped around Emily's slightly larger frame as her body shook with sobs. "Rachel… what happened?"

"She – she won't e-even ta-talk to me." Rachel was barely able to choke out between ragged gasps for air.

"Talk to you at all?" Emily asked in an attempt to clarify. There was a huge difference between not talking to Rachel at all, or not talking to Rachel about something specific.

After a few moments, the diva was finally able to compose herself enough to actually look at the psychologist. "We just saw the baby…" Rachel took another deep breath to be able to keep herself from breaking down in tears again over just saying those words. "First thing she did was ask to talk to you. That's all the wants to do is talk to you. It's tearing me apart Emily. She won't talk to me about anything on her mind anymore. We used to tell each other everything."

The younger woman led Rachel to a set of chairs along the wall that was right across the hallway from the nurse's station. "Let me tell you something Rachel. I'm sure you know I can't really say too much about my sessions with Quinn unless she okays it, but what I can tell you is that she's scared. I know you're probably tired of hearing this, but you need to give her time. Everything's still fresh in her mind."

"Could you perhaps, let her know how I feel? Since everything happened, she doesn't listen to a lot of the things I say." Rachel looked up at the woman with hopeful eyes.

Emily threw her a small smile. "I sure can. Why don't you go and get a salad for lunch? I'm sure Quinn would like it if you got her something from the cafeteria too." She hinted before standing up and heading toward Quinn's room. When she pushed open the door she spotted her patient curled on her side staring at the small picture from the sonogram. "Quinn, you wanted to see me?" Emily allowed the door to close behind her before approaching the broken woman on the bed.

"It's real isn't it?" Quinn never broke eye contact with the picture as she continued to sob

**_January 25 – 1:30PM_**

Cautiously, Rachel pushed open the door to her wife's room. She had no idea exactly what she'd be walking into – especially when she saw Quinn looking at her lap with tear swollen eyes.

"I got you something."

The simple words drew Quinn's attention away from her lap. When hazel eyes connected with a wrapped cheeseburger, she couldn't stop herself from smiling softly. "Thanks Rach."

Silence fell between the pair as the blonde ate her food. The entire time though, Rachel's eyes never left her. "Brittany and Santana are going to stay until you're released." She dared to speak once Quinn finished eating.

"That's nice of them…" Her voice was soft. Her entire session with Emily kept replaying in her head. It was now or never. Emily had reinforced it in her mind that she didn't have to be afraid of Rachel. Rachel would always be there for her. Hence why she hasn't left her side since she entered the hospital. The love that Rachel had for her was unconditional. If her trying to take her own life and by extension, the baby's life didn't push the brunette away… nothing would.

Quinn looked back down at her lap before speaking. "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for Quinn?" Rachel already knew. Or at least she knew what _she_ wanted Quinn to be sorry for. But she needed to know what _Quinn_ was actually sorry for.

At first, she had no idea how to start. Quinn already knew she'd inevitably break down in tears at some point. She was just hoping she could say what she needed to before that happened. "For all of this." And there it was already. That lump in her throat was already making itself known to her. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't push it back down.

"Baby, just talk to me." Rachel gently took the blonde's hand in her own – thankful that it wasn't jerked away.

"Why are you here?" Maybe starting out with a question would help ease Quinn into what she really wanted to say.

Rachel's head tilted to the side. She took a few quiet moments to examine the expressionless face of her wife. "I'm here because I love you."

"I know… but why?" Quinn's gaze locked with Rachel's as she finished her question.

"Do you remember our wedding?" She didn't give her much time to do anything other than nod before continuing. "In my vows to you I said… 'you are the most amazing, beautiful, and wonderful woman I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. I'm beyond honored that you've chosen me to be your wife and I will love, cherish, and protect you until the day when the final ounce of air leaves my lungs.' Do you remember that Quinn?"

Quinn's breath caught in her throat. Of course she remembered their vows to one another. She remembered every little detail from that day. "I remember."

"I couldn't protect you against what happened. But Quinn… nothing will make me ever want to leave you." Rachel carefully sat on the bed beside her wife.

Without much warning, the blonde lost control of her tears. She felt herself be wrapped up in the diva's arms. It was finally hitting her that Rachel would never hurt her. Ever. "It's all too much Rach." Quinn started out softly. She took a moment to compose herself before continuing. "I'm so confused as to what's actually happening. Like… I'm happy because we can finally be a family, yet I'm pissed because that family will have his genes in it." Rachel simply remained silent while listening. "Emily told me they might be releasing me tomorrow… she set me up with an appointment in her office on Friday."

"Good." Rachel gently cupped Quinn's cheek with her left hand.

The blonde closed her eyes before allowing her forehead to rest against the other woman's. "It's strange to know that… when I did this… I wanted to die, but part of me hoped that somehow the baby would live." She opened her eyes to see the brunette's confused expression. "I know it's not logical, but I didn't want to take the life of the innocent child. He or she has done nothing wrong. It's not the baby's fault it's growing inside of me."

Rachel smiled softly. She did understand what Quinn was trying to say. She knew that the human mind could conjure up some rather illogical things. "So, you're keeping it?" She knew what Quinn had said earlier, but she just needed that confirmation again.

"Yea. He gave us the family we've always wanted." She let out a heavy sigh. "Do you think… once Santana and Brittany leave, I could come to the studio with you for a few days? Just until I do my California BAR Exam and find a job? I really don't think it would be a good idea for me to be alone for a little while."

Rachel smiled. It wasn't a happy smile. It also wasn't a sad one either. The smile she sported on her face was one of understanding. Understanding and pride. She was proud that Quinn realized she couldn't trust herself enough to stay alone. "I'm sure Jason won't mind."

Quinn nodded slightly before allowing her head to fall to Rachel's shoulder and closing her eyes. She kept telling herself that everything _would_ be okay.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Continuing to take votes, if you forgot to vote last chapter, do it this time. If you voted last chapter and you want to make sure your choice wins, vote again :D<em>**

**_See you all next week!_**


	19. Chapter 18

**_This is a two part chapter. It's Valentine's Day for Quinn and Rachel :) Happier times. And there will be happier times next chapter too... for the most part... That's all I'm saying._**

**_Current standings:_**

**_Girl - 11  
><em>****_Boy - 4 _**

**_I'm still taking votes for the gender. Please remember, I'm not taking any suggestions for the name of the child. Name is already selected, it's a unisex name which is why gender doesn't matter._**

**_Oh yea, and thanks to Jennception for looking this over for me as always. :D_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>_****_Chapter 18_**

**_February 14 – 8:30AM_**

She'd been… happier. To say the least. Yes, that's what she told everybody. It wasn't exactly a lie either. She was happier. She wasn't back to her original self, but she was a lot better than she was at her breakdown. Her sessions with Emily twice a week were definitely helping.

Quinn had gotten much better with being touched. She was even able to hug Santana and Brittany at the airport when they left. She'd been able to hug Tina every time she visited the studio to see Mike. She hadn't been able to get too close to Mike yet, but he understood and didn't hold it against her. He still treated her like one of his best friends. Mike Chang was the definition of a perfect gentleman. While Quinn was on set watching Rachel with one of her shoots, he'd always offered to get her some food, or even just sit with her to keep her company. There were several times where he just took residence in the seat beside her and neither talked – rather they enjoyed the other's company. Mike knew a lot of things about what happened. Thankfully, he never asked questions. Someone like Mike would help her to finish her healing process when it came to men.

"I think I'm ready…" Quinn finally spoke. The past two weeks had been hell with any kind of intimacy with her and Rachel. Thankfully, Rachel hadn't pushed anything on her and let her go at her own pace. And every time when she started to freak out, she was right there to hold her and comfort her. Whether they were in bed, or on the sofa, anywhere in the house, Rachel was always there to calm her down.

Two days ago, Quinn had actually allowed Rachel to see her naked. The blonde had mustered up the courage to join her in the shower.

**_February 12 – 8:49PM_**

_"How was filming today?" Quinn looked up from her paperwork. She'd just finished taking and passing her California BAR Exam a week ago and was now perfecting her resume for potential jobs. The only response she received though, was a grumble. "That bad?" She closed up her folder before standing up to help Rachel out of her jacket._

_"Jason was horrible today." Rachel helped herself to leaning against the taller blonde once her coat was removed. "He gave us a 15 minute lunch break, which is when I called you. Then he decided to only give us two ten minute breaks. Honey, my feet and my back are killing me."_

_Quinn's eyes closed as she nuzzled her nose against the brunette hair tucked under her chin. "Why don't you go and take a shower and I'll get you something to eat."_

_"I love you." Rachel didn't even hesitate in pressing her lips to the blonde's. She couldn't have been happier to see small signs of her old Quinn starting to return. She'd missed the loving, caring woman she fell in love with and married._

_Quinn felt her body start to react to the kiss. It was a mixture of positive and negative. Thankfully, most of her wanted to pull Rachel even closer to her. The positive reaction far out-weighed the negative. She was easily able to overcome the urge to push her wife away and run to hide. "I love you too." She finally responded when their kiss broke apart. "Now go and shower."_

_"Alright, alright, I'm going." The brunette giggled softly before retreating to their bedroom. Coming home and seeing her wife had honestly been the highlight of Rachel's day. Just as she was getting used to the woman being on set with her – keeping her chair warm – she stopped coming. Rachel understood though. There were things that needed to be done. Like Quinn's exam, changing their license's, getting their new vehicle registrations. Quinn was able to handle all of that except Rachel's license._

_She reached out to flip the radio on as she stripped for her shower. There was never a moment when Rachel Berry-Fabray could shower without music. She immediately began humming along to the song playing. It stopped for just a moment – replaced with a heavenly sigh as the hot water instantly relaxed her tense muscles. Her eyes fell closed when she tilted her head back to look up at the water. Rachel was so caught up in the feeling of the water, and the sound of the music that she didn't even realize she'd been joined. That was… until a familiar set of arms wrapped around her waist from behind._

_"Quinn!" Rachel nearly screamed – jumping out of her skin by the surprising, yet very welcomed intrusion. "My goodness… you scared me." She spun around slowly to look up into Quinn's very hesitant eyes._

_The blonde had no idea what inside of her sparked her actions. She was scared. There was no telling how she would actually react to the skin to skin contact with her wife. "I… I'm sorry…" Without really thinking, she took a step back, exposing herself to her wife's gaze. "I can go." Her hand reached up to push the curtain aside, but it was grabbed by Rachel. When she felt smaller fingers thread between hers, she instantly relaxed._

_"No… please stay." Rachel carefully stepped closer, closing the gap between them for a kiss._

* * *

><p>Nothing more than a few shared kissed happened in that shower. But it was such a huge step for Quinn to be able to completely relax near her wife.<p>

"Are you sure? Has anything other than the shower happened to make you feel like you were ready?" Emily looked up from her notebook at her patient. Quinn had made a lot of improvements over the past two weeks. Mainly because she decided to open up and accept the help that she so desperately needed.

Quinn diverted her eyes down toward the floor before speaking. "So much has happened Emily… All the time we've spent together has helped me to relax around her. I don't panic when she hugs me from behind anymore. I don't jump every single time I hear her voice… or even a noise for that matter. I'm pretty sure I'm ready."

"Does Rachel know?" Quinn shook her head as an answer to her question. "What do you have planned for tonight?"

"I still haven't exactly figured out all of the details. This is the first Valentine's Day I haven't had anything planned. I just hope Rachel won't be disappointed."

"I'm sure she'll love whatever it is you do for her Quinn. She loves you with everything-" Emily's sentence was interrupted by Quinn suddenly standing up and running out of her office. The first time it happened Emily chased after her, having assumed she'd done or said something wrong. By the fifth time, she knew what it was. The pregnancy was taking its toll on Quinn. Part of her felt sorry for the woman having such a bad case of sickness. For most women, it tended to hit the same time each day, but Quinn was part of the unlucky percentage where it would hit out of nowhere. Hopefully though, Quinn would fall into the majority and the sickness would pass within the next month.

"Sorry about that…" Quinn whispered when she reentered the office.

Emily just shook her head with a sympathetic smile on her face as Quinn made her way back toward the sofa to sit down. "I told you before you don't have to apologize. I'm used to it by now Quinn." The younger woman shifted in her seat before poising her pen to write again. "Have you and Rachel discussed anything about the baby?"

Quinn visibly tensed at the question. Her and Rachel had talked about it. A little bit.

**_February 10 – 10:00PM_**

_A smile played on Quinn's lips as she watched her half naked wife walk from their bathroom to the dresser for clothes. "You're so beautiful Rachel."_

_The brunette blushed under her wife's gaze and from her words. "Thank you Quinn." She pulled on a pair of short shorts before letting the towel fall from around her body. "Stop staring at me!" She quickly covered her chest with a tank top before quickly crawling under the blankets. Quinn's unwavering gaze made her feel self conscious._

_"But I can't help it." Quinn turned onto her side before tucking her head safely against Rachel's shoulder. "I'm lucky to have you." A comfortable silence fell between them. That's when it hit her and she knew she had to ask her. She just prayed Rachel was still awake. "Will you still love me when I'm fat and moody?"_

_Rachel shifted onto her side to look into sad hazel eyes. "You won't get fat Quinn."_

_"I'm pr… pregnant Rach. It's gonna happen eventually."_

_The brunette reached out to brush some rogue hair out of Quinn's face and smiled softly. "And whenever you start gaining baby weight, I'll be right there to support you in any way I can."_

_"I don't want to get fat…" Quinn's voice was so soft… so defeated. Sure she bounced right back from her pregnancy with Beth. All the baby weight dropped off of her in no time. "I'm not 16 anymore Rach."_

_"I'm not 16 anymore either Quinn." She tilted her head to the side, mostly unsure of where Quinn was going with that statement._

_The blonde's eyes closed for a moment before she continued. "What if I can't lose the weight? Will you still-" She wasn't able to continue her statement, since Rachel's lips on hers cut her off._

_"Don't you dare finish that sentence Quinn. I will always love you. Weight or not. Mood swings… 2AM cravings. I'll love you through all of it." She stole another kiss before resting her forehead against Quinn's. "Do you think it's going to be a boy or a girl?"_

_"Would it matter to you either way?" Rachel shook her head in response. "I guess… I'm hoping it's a girl. Because of my issues with guys. I'd be afraid I'd push away from the baby if it was a boy…"_

_"What I think though… I think that deep down inside you'll hold the child close, regardless of if it's a girl or a boy. Your motherly instincts will kick in, just like they did with Beth. It tore you up to have to give her up all those years ago. I don't think you'd be able to push the baby away if it were a boy. In a way, I think you would cling to it even more if it were a boy than if it were a girl." Rachel carefully tucked her head into the crook of Quinn's neck and closed her eyes. "We'll just have to wait to find out what we're having. You're only two months along now baby, we don't have to really plan anything just yet."_

_"Wait…" Quinn pulled away to sit up. "The Rachel Berry wants to wait to plan something?" She couldn't contain her laughter. It was so unlike Rachel to not want to plan something._

_"I'll have you know, that it is hard for me to not want to plan every tiny little detail of this entire pregnancy of yours… I just… I don't want to force you to be ready for this you know?" Rachel gently grabbed her wife's hand and threaded their fingers together. "It's you and I Quinn. I'll always be by your side through everything that happens. Alright?" Quinn nodded with a small smile on her face before cuddling back up to her wife and closing her eyes._

**_February 14 – 1:30PM_**

Quinn rubbed her eyes. Even with the flowers in the back of her SUV – furthest away from her – they were still irritating her allergies.

"Do you have a pass ma'am?"

She smiled softly at the young man at the security gate before digging out her guest pass from her purse." Here you go." She handed it over to him for inspection. Once he nodded, he reached into the guard house to open the gate for her.

"Here you go ma'am." He passed the item back to her before going back into his hut.

Quinn tossed her pass back into her purse and let out the breath she'd been holding. Why did it have to be a man on duty? She'd made it through her entire day without having to interact with anybody of the male form. But now, as she pulled into a parking spot beside Rachel's car, she needed to clear her head. Jim wasn't there.

_"Filthy fucking whore!"_

She pushed the images aside. Instead, she focused solely on Rachel. It was a technique that Emily helped her master. Everything she thought of brought a smile to her face. Soon, she was relaxed enough where she could face the mass of people inside the studio.

After retrieving the flowers and the box of chocolate covered strawberries. Vegan of course. Quinn never understood how Rachel could tolerate the taste of vegan chocolates. She cringed at the mere thought of eating any herself.

A few sneezes and watery eyes hit her before she got inside. She smiled when she saw Rachel on one of the sets – in the middle of a scene. It was one where her character was discussing what to do about her current relationship as opposed to her budding one with another man. It was in a small living room set. The living room that was part of Rachel's character's apartment. Quinn took residence in Rachel's chair to watch the scene between her wife and woman who's name she learned to be Amanda.

"What are you gonna do Jane?" Amanda took a sip from her cup before looking at Rachel.

The brunette let out a heavy sigh before roughly running her fingers through her hair. "Scott's been trying really hard lately." She lifted her gaze to look the younger woman in the eye before continuing. "But Logan… my god Abby… he's like sex on legs. Everything about him is perfect. He doesn't even have to try with anything he does."

Amanda just smiled. "Think you just answered your own question girl."

"Cut!" Jason yelled before standing. "Lunch time everybody. Try to make it quick. I want to get out of here early today." He made his way off set quickly, probably to fetch food for himself.

Rachel was in the middle of a conversation when she noticed a figure sitting on her chair holding a bouquet of roses and a red box. "Well isn't this a lovely surprise." The brunette picked the flowers from her wife's hands before inhaling their scent. "How on earth did you manage to get these with your allergies?" Rachel carefully placed the flowers on a nearby table before taking a seat on Quinn's lap.

"Let's just say it was a long drive from the grocery store." She shifted a little bit to place the box onto Rachel's lap. "Got you something else too."

The brunette's eyes lit up when she opened the box. She didn't hesitate in taking a bite out of one of the strawberries. "Here…" She offered the other half of it to Quinn who only shook her head. "Please?"

"You know I like real chocolate." Rachel's lower lip jutted out in response. "Please don't pout." Quinn's resolve was quickly diminished as Rachel continued her pout. "Fine!" She opened her mouth to allow Rachel to feed her. Forcing back her initial gag reflex, she forced herself to chew and then swallow the food in her mouth. "Still prefer the real thing."

Rachel leaned down to kiss her gently. "How was your appointment with Emily?"

"It went well. Told her about what I had planned for you tonight." Quinn spoke with a small smirk on her face.

Rachel's eyes lit up yet again. "What's that?"

The blonde chuckled softly. "You have to wait until you get home to find out about that." Rachel pouted again but it only drew more laughter out of Quinn. "Don't even try that, I'm not caving this time."

"Fine!" She got off of Quinn's lap in a huff. "You're lucky I love you." She threw a playful glare at the blonde before retrieving her purse. "I got you something too…" She sat back down across her wife's lap while she dug through her bag. "I hope you like it." She placed the small velvet box in Quinn's hand before letting her purse drop back to the floor.

Quinn examined the box for a minute before pulling off the ribbon and popping it open. Her breath caught in her throat. It was a silver charm bracelet. Beads spelling out the word 'STRENGTH' were surrounded by a pair of heart charms and charms with each of their birthstones. "Rach…" She blinked her eyes several times to ward off the oncoming tears. But it didn't work. A few still managed to escape and slide down her cheeks.

"Do you like it?" Rachel wiped away some of Quinn's tears and watched her pick up the bracelet to get a better look at it.

"It's perfect. Thank you." She cupped Rachel's cheek to give her a lingering kiss. "Help me put it on?" She held out her left hand, allowing Rachel to hook the bracelet around her wrist.

"I was thinking… since I can't always be with you, all you have to do is look down and I'll be right there." She placed a gentle kiss on the bracelet on her wrist.

"I love you Rachel."

"And I love you Quinn. More than you know."

* * *

><p><strong><em>Next part will be up next week :D Valentine's Day is a two parter, sorry this is a little shorter, but I can guarantee that chapters will start to get longer. I can tell you for a fact that chapter 20... is 6,500 words long.<em>**


	20. Chapter 19

**_Well, nobody voted for the gender of the baby in the last chapter. So is it safe to say they're going to have a girl?_**

**_Current standings:_**  
><strong><em>Girl - 11<em>**  
><strong><em>Boy - 4<em>**

**_I'm hoping that posting this before the Championship round of football starts will help with the number of reviews :D All I have to say is. GO RAVENS! I don't see them beating the Patriots, but omg if they do look out Super Bowl! (Super Bowl is a trademark and I'm not trying to cause any issues by saying it lol)_**

**_Thanks to Jennception for proofing this for me. She found and pointed out a few errors in this chapter._**

**_Oh, only two scenes in this chapter too, but they're long enough to end up with almost 5k words + my author's note of course. Just you all wait until next week and all subsequent weeks. Chapter 20 is the longest chapter I've EVER written. I know you guys and gals will be happy about it._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Chapter 19_**

**_February 14 – 4:00PM_**

Quinn smiled when the light shinning in through the kitchen window caught her new bracelet. Whenever she felt herself slipping, all she had to do was look down. Strength was right there. It would always be with her. Rachel would always be with her. That thought alone brought a larger smile to her lips. Rachel was her angel – her savior. Without Rachel, she'd be dead right now. Just because she was too prideful to ask for help it caused her to lose her mind and nearly succeed in taking her life.

She placed her lips to the bracelet, the smile never leaving her face as she pulled a pan out of the cabinet. She already knew what she was making Rachel for Valentine's Day. Quinn hummed softly to herself as she started a familiar routine. It wasn't the first time she had made coconut portabella stir-fry for Rachel. It was the same dish she made the first time she cooked for Rachel. The first time ended up being a total disaster. Vegetables were overcooked… rice was still rock hard. It was horrible.

But, over the years, Quinn had perfected the recipe. She turned the stove on to begin her preparations. What she hoped though, was that she could finish before Rachel got home. As the stove heated up she dug through the refrigerator to pull out everything she purchased at the store after she left the studio. She hesitated for a moment when her hand reached out for one of the kitchen knives. Thoughts were running through her head again.

Quinn paused – she found herself starring at the knife she'd just pulled out of the block. It would be so easy right now. Rachel wouldn't be home for at least an hour. Her heart would have stopped pumping the blood out of her body by then.

_"You're stronger than that Quinn. Don't bottle it up anymore. If you need to scream and yell… do it."_

Emily's words played fresh in her mind. That coupled with a quick glance at the word 'strength' attached to her wrist helped her. "Fuck you Jim. You can't break me anymore." She found her voice to fight back against her rogue thoughts. Speaking up seemed to replace her bad thoughts with fresh, good ones. She refocused all of her attention on chopping the vegetables and finishing her preparations.

**_February 14 – 6:45PM_**

Finally. Rachel feared she'd never get off the set. Jason said he wanted to get out early, yet he decided to shoot an extra scene. In a way she was thankful, because that extra scene gave everybody the next day off.

All thoughts of filming vanished in an instant when she pulled into the driveway next to Quinn's car. The only thing on her mind right now, was spending the evening and the following day with her amazing wife. Rachel grabbed her purse before heading into the house. "Quinn?" The brunette called out once she placed her purse beside her wife's on the table. "Honey, it smells wonderful in here." She continued to make her way further into the house.

Quinn smiled from her place in the dining room. She stood just inside the doorway holding two wine glasses. One with red wine for Rachel, the other with cranberry juice to give the illusion. "Hello my love." She spoke when the brunette came around the corner. "For you."

The smile that was already on her lips grew wider until she took a sip from her glass. Her eyes shot open in shock before she quickly pulled Quinn's glass out of her hands. "You can't have wine Quinn! It's bad for the baby! What are you thinking?"

"Are you done?" One of the blonde's eyebrows rose at the smaller woman's reaction. "Mine's juice. Yours is the good stuff."

There was hesitation written all over Rachel's face. It wasn't that she didn't trust Quinn… she just questioned some of her actions. She took a quick sip from the blonde's glass before handing it back. "Alright… I just had to check." Quinn laughed softly before stealing Rachel's lips with her own. "I'll never get tired of that."

"Tired of what?" Quinn's hand came up to rest on the brunette's cheek before she kissed her again – harder than the first. She melted when she felt Rachel's free hand rest on her hip. A low moan rumbled in her throat when Rachel's tongue dared to trace her lower lip. Before granting it access she broke the kiss to smile at a breathless Rachel.

"Of that. Of your breathtaking kisses."

"I promise you can have more of them after dinner. Which is getting cold by the way." She stepped away to pull out one of the chairs. "Come on. Sit. Sit." Her heart melted upon hearing Rachel's soft giggle.

"What's for dinner?"

Once she had Rachel situated she lifted the lid on her place. "Bon appétit beautiful." She kissed the brunette's cheek before taking her own seat and removing the cover from her own plate.

"Is this what I think it is?" Rachel's eyes lit up as she reached for her spoon. Quinn only nodded. "Honey, you haven't made this in years." She dug right into her meal.

"Is it good?" She watched Rachel savor the first bite. So much so that she let out a moan. "I'll take that as a yes." Before she had a chance to dig into her own meal she spotted a spoon coming toward her. Without hesitation she opened her mouth to accept the food.

"It's delicious honey." Rachel finally took a moment to take in the dining room décor.

Quinn had spent the time that the dessert was in the oven preparing every detail. There was a white tablecloth covering the otherwise wooden table. The lights were out and the curtains were drawn. The only lights in the room came from the two candlesticks on the table and the small amount that tickled in from the hallway.

Quinn shifted her chair and plate closer to the brunette. For the next few minutes they remained silent as they shared bites of their food and random soft kisses.

"I did all of this… as a thank you." Quinn looked down at the table, suddenly feeling very shy about her words. "You've been so patient with me… so understanding."

"Quinn…" Rachel held up her hand to stop the blonde's upcoming rant. "I love you. And I'll tell you that every minute of every day if I have to. Sweetie…" she paused to brush some hair out of Quinn's face, "you don't have to thank me. Ever." She smiled softly when Quinn's eyes met hers. "You're so beautiful. Every day I wake up to see you I just keep thinking of how lucky-"

She was interrupted by a set of hungry lips on her own. Quinn was ready. She wanted Rachel. Her body wanted Rachel. Carefully pulling away, she stood up and took Rachel's hand in hers. Without a word she blew out the candles before she led her down the hallway and into their bedroom.

Rachel's mind was wandering aimlessly the entire time. She knew her wife. She knew what that type of kiss meant. That kiss in particular always came from a sexually frustrated Quinn. "Quinn?" She whispered, but her thoughts were cut short when the blonde's lips found hers – effectively silencing any further questions. She wasn't complaining. Over the past few weeks, things had progressed at Quinn's pace. No further protests left her lips once Quinn's tongue traced her lower lip eagerly seeking access.

Slowly, Quinn led Rachel toward their bed. Her lips gradually made their way down the expanse of tan skin that was Rachel's neck. She savored each of the moans and whimpers that her wife emitted. Rachel needed this just as badly as she did. Before Jim happened, their sex life was healthy, at least once a week. It always depended on their schedules. But after Jim… everything stopped. Now, as Quinn pulled Rachel's shirt off, she felt as if everything would go back to normal.

The brunette's eyes closed again as she felt herself being slowly lowered onto their comforter. Her body felt as if it were on fire. Every small caress of Quinn's gentle fingers on any exposed portion of her skin sent a very familiar and very missed chill down her spine – right to her core. She feared, that since it had been so long, she would explode with the simplest of touches. Her back arched up on its own accord when Quinn's lips traveled down her bare chest. She felt her wife pause for a moment, fingers coming up to unhook the bra that was in the blonde's way. Rachel shifted just enough to push the garment aside. Within moments, Quinn's assault on her skin continued.

Quinn carefully wrapped her lips around one of Rachel's rock hard nipples, her fingers toyed and plucked at the other. It had been too long. She hadn't realized how much she missed the feelings and the noises until she was experiencing them again. Her body shifted a little bit when Rachel carefully pulled her up for another kiss. It wasn't heated, or lustful. No. It was slow and romantic. This wasn't sex. It was making love. In her mind she heard Jim's voice taunting her again. He told her things about how nobody loved her, Rachel was only using her.

"I love you Quinn." Rachel's words were so soft that Quinn barely heard them. Those soft words pushed away any of her thoughts.

Soon, she found herself focusing on the soft, eager body below her own. Quinn carefully sat up on her knees, which were on either side of Rachel's hips, to unbutton her blouse. Their eyes locked as Rachel's hands snaked up under the clothing to get the first feel of Quinn's bare stomach in days. Once the last button was opened, Quinn threw her shirt to the floor. She wasn't thrown off by the feeling of Rachel's fingers digging into the skin of her stomach. Thankfully. She was going to be alright. She dipped down again to capture the smaller woman's lips gently.

Rachel could tell things were going to progress slowly. She was perfectly fine with that. Slowly, she allowed her fingers to travel up Quinn's bare back. Internally wincing every time she felt the ridge of a scar as she made her way up to the clasp of Quinn's bra. She opened her eyes to search for any discomfort. When she saw absolutely no hesitation in the bright hazel eyes above hers, she easily unhooked the bra and slid it's straps down Quinn's shoulders. She pulled it from between them and threw it toward the floor with the rest of their clothing.

"Oh…" Rachel moaned softly when their breasts came in contact with one another. Oh how she missed that feeling. Not counting the shower they partook in two days prior, the last time she felt Quinn's bare skin against hers was two days before she disappeared. "Please baby." She opened her mouth to moan but it was swallowed by Quinn's lips on her own again. Her back arched up to press further into the fingers that slowly trailed down her body. She couldn't help the shiver that traveled down her spine when those same fingers came to rest on the zipper on the side of her skirt.

As Quinn's fingers slid the zipper of Rachel's skirt down, she trailed kisses down her bare chest. She chose to forego her breasts, instead dipping her tongue into the brunette's belly button, knowing how much it drove her crazy. This was no different. The simple action drew one of the deepest, loudest moans she'd ever heard from Rachel. Quinn knew it came from the fact that she hadn't touched her wife in months. She felt guilty for not giving Rachel what she needed. She felt guilty for being broken like she was. When she paused for a moment, she felt Rachel's fingers glide soothingly through her hair. It was a silent command to continue, but only if she felt she could. And she knew she could. She wasn't panicking like she had in the past. Once the skirt was unzipped, Quinn took her time in dragging it down Rachel's long legs.

"Baby?" Rachel questioned gently when she saw Quinn hesitate some. "You don't have to you know." She sat up slowly and gently took Quinn's hand in her own. "Sex or not, I love you no less. You should know-" She was cut off yet again by the blonde's lips on her own. Deep down, Rachel could tell that her wife needed this. She needed to prove to her that she wasn't a complete lost cause. As Rachel sank back into the comforter, her arms wrapped securely around Quinn's shoulders. Her legs opened on instinct to allow Quinn space between them. There was a sharp intake of air through her nose when Quinn's hips pressed gently against her aching core. The roughness of Quinn's jeans added just enough friction to get her teetering on the edge already.

"So beautiful." Quinn whispered against Rachel's ear. Her eyes remained closed as her fingers trailed a well-known path up the inside of the brunette's long toned legs. She pulled away for a moment to look down into Rachel's darkened eyes. "I love you Rachel." Her words came out as she hooked her fingers in Rachel's red lace panties and began to slide them down her legs. She couldn't fight off her smile when the smaller woman lifted her hips – obviously eager to help rid the last bit of clothing from her body.

Rachel sat up in an instant when Quinn climbed off of her. She immediately thought the worst. That was, until she saw the blonde starting to reach for the button of her jeans. "Can I?" She slowly reached out her hand, allowing Quinn the chance to back away if she wanted to. Her heart rate quickened when, instead of backing away, Quinn stepped closer and rested her hands on Rachel's biceps. "You're so perfect Quinn." She whispered, kissing the skin just above the waistband of Quinn's jeans as she slid them down her slender legs. "I love everything about you." Her hands came to rest on the blonde's now bare hips as she placed several open mouthed kisses to the scars that covered Quinn's stomach.

"Lay back…" Quinn's fingers trailed up to run through Rachel's long brown hair before allowing her to lay back, her legs still hanging over the edge of the bed. She carefully knelt down on the floor – her fingers dancing up the brunette's long legs. Even after all these years, Quinn still wondered how someone so short could have such long legs.

The blonde simply sat there for a moment. Her fingers trailed dangerously close to Rachel's core. She was close enough that she could feel the heat radiating off of her wife. Biting back the last ounce of uncertainty she had, she lowered her head to place kisses along the same path her fingers had just traveled. She couldn't help the smirk that came to her lips at Rachel's hips lifting up eagerly. Quinn's fingers gripped onto the brunette's hips as her tongue darted out to get its first taste of Rachel in months.

She found herself pausing and pulling back for just a moment, despite Rachel's hips rising up in protest. Hazel eyes fell closed as her tongue darted out to savor the small amount of taste she'd accumulated on her lips. "Quinn?" Rachel started to sit up to see if something was wrong. When her eyes locked with Quinn's bright ones, she smiled reassuringly down at her before laying back. Quinn was taking her time and Rachel was perfectly fine with that. "Oh god!" Her back arched up the moment Quinn's skilled tongue went back to work on her overly sensitive core. It had definitely been too long and she knew she wouldn't last long.

"Rach…" Quinn bit her lip as she lifted her head. "You… you can touch me… if you want." She knew Rachel had been holding back, she was both thankful and upset for that. This wasn't just a moment of Quinn getting her wife off, this was a huge step for her, and if she couldn't have the whole experience, then she didn't want any of it at all. A loud, heavy sigh left her lips when Rachel's fingernails carefully scraped along her scalp before tightly gripping her hair. Her eyes closed as she dipped back down to go back to work. Rachel's finger's in her hair only sent familiar, welcomed jolts through her own body, into her core.

Rachel's fingers unconsciously dug into Quinn's scalp as she felt her warm, strong tongue back on her throbbing clit. "Fuck!" Her eyes slammed closed. She felt herself drift into a total state of euphoria. Just as Quinn's slender fingers pushed their way inside of her she couldn't fight it anymore. "Quinn!" She nearly screamed at the overwhelming sensation of her orgasm.

The blonde continued to lap at her wife slowly. Her slower, most sensual movements allowed Rachel a slow descent back into reality. "I missed how you taste." Quinn smiled to herself before she climbed up onto the bed and straddled her wife's hips.

"I just missed you." Rachel's hand drifted to the blonde's neck before she pulled their bodies flush together – their lips meeting in a battle for dominance. A moan rumbled in her throat when she got the first taste of herself on Quinn's lips. "I do taste good huh?" She giggled softly, especially when Quinn nodded in affirmation. "I love you Quinn…" Rachel pressed her lips against Quinn's neck before shifting to roll her wife onto her back. She slowly started to trail kisses down the blonde's exposed neck, smiling when she felt the skin below her lips vibrate.

Quinn's nails dug into Rachel's shoulders as her eyes closed. She focused entirely on the sensations Rachel was sending through her body. Each tender caress of lips to skin sent wave after wave of chills down Quinn's back. It was like they never missed a beat. Rachel wasn't treating her as if she was fragile. No. Rachel wasn't treating her like she was broken. No. Rachel was treating her as if nothing ever happened. There was something different though. Different than all the times they'd made love in the past. Quinn needed her wife and needed her touch, but everything reminded her of him. "Rach…" Quinn felt herself start to wince every moment Rachel's lips touched her skin.

_No matter what she did, or how much she thrashed around below him, he didn't stop. All of her screams in his ear, all of the times she attempted to head butt him, only brought more pain upon herself. Instead of the gentle kisses he'd started with, he now sank his teeth into the skin near her collar bone. Her cries of pain were ignored. A familiar burning sensation started to cover her neckline. She was bleeding. She knew that feeling very well from the past two days. He bit a chunk of her skin off of her body._

Quinn's heart rate started to speed up. She was struggling to keep a steady breath as Rachel carefully pressed her lips against the rapidly fading scar near her collar bone. Rachel wouldn't hurt her. She knew Rachel wouldn't hurt her, but she still couldn't stop her body from reacting like it would. "Rachel…" She whimpered again. A whimper that was mistaken for a cue to continue. She loved how her body was reacting positively to all of the gentle caresses Rachel gave to her. She hated though, how her mind wasn't staying in the same reality as her body.

_There was nothing gentle about it. She cringed at the feeling of his unshaven face on the inside of her thigh. "This is what all you little dykes want, isn't it?"_

_Quinn whimpered the moment she felt his unforgiving tongue and teeth on her clit. There was no pleasure in his actions. Nothing but pain. Everything about what he did was either too hard, or too rough. _

Her eyes slammed shut at the memory. Rachel was too busy peppering kisses across her chest and ribcage to notice the tears that had started to slide down her cheeks. Quinn's left hand gripped the sheets beside her for dear life. She needed to get through this. She… thought she could get through this. But the moment Rachel's fingers started dancing around on the inside of her thigh, she knew she couldn't. "Rach…" Her voice was nothing but a whisper. An unheard whisper. The moment Rachel's finger barely grazed against her outer lips her body went into full flight mode. She kicked herself out from under Rachel's body, scampered to her feet and started to back away from her.

"Baby?" Rachel stood up before approaching Quinn slowly. "Baby, it's just me."

"Don't…" Quinn slowly dropped to her knees in the middle of the bedroom as she was overtaken by memories and tears. It was two months already and she still remembered everything like it happened yesterday. There wasn't a minute that passed by where her memories dared to fade away. She was stuck with them, and always would be. "Just… don't." She warned again when she heard Rachel take a step closer.

"Quinn, please talk to me."

The blonde shifted enough to sit completely on the floor. She pulled her knees to her chest before resting her head on them. The simple position helped her feel a little bit more comfortable – she wasn't as exposed. Granted, she was still naked, but the important parts were covered. "Can I have a robe…" Quinn's eyes stayed trained on Rachel as the brunette grabbed the white cotton robe from the hook on the back of the door. Her body tensed when Rachel came within a few feet of her. "I can do it." She took the robe and tossed it over her shoulders.

Placing her own robe over her naked form, Rachel took a seat on the floor a few feet away from Quinn and just watched her. It had been over two weeks since the last time Quinn had a panic attack from memory overload. Memories that the blonde still wouldn't share with her. But she understood why she kept them bottled inside. She really did, because talking about them, meant acknowledging they were real. Even though everybody knew they were real, Rachel understood that sometimes pretending they weren't was a good way in coping with them. She hated being as helpless as she was.

"Can you just leave me alone please?" Quinn glanced at Rachel before looking back to the carpet.

"No, I'm not going to leave you alone. I'm never going to leave you alone Quinn."

Rachel's words just broke the blonde further. The harder Quinn sobbed, the closer Rachel dared to scoot toward her, until finally their knees were touching. "Don't ever leave me Rachel." Quinn cried on her wife's shoulder. "Please don't ever leave me." It was the one thing she was truly petrified of – Rachel leaving her because she's broken.

"Why would you think that sweetheart?" Rachel felt her own tears start to spill out of her eyes. Her wife was broken, and there was nothing she could do but just hold her. Hold her and wait for her to tell whatever part of her story she was willing to share.

"It just hurts so much. All of it hurts so much. Rachel I can't even describe it to you. I can't put it into words what I'm feeling right now." Quinn allowed herself to be brought to her feet. Her head remained against Rachel's as they covered the short distance to the bed to lay down. Nothing else was going to happen, Quinn knew that. But all that really mattered to Quinn in the end, was that she was able to give Rachel a release.

"Maybe Emily can help you find the words to describe it?" At first Rachel was a bit bitter toward the psychologist. But the more Quinn talked with Emily, the more she opened up with her. So it was a win-win all the way around. Quinn got her feelings out in the open, and Rachel got to learn more and more about what happened. The blonde just nodded against her chest – her entire body still shaking from sobs. "Just let it all out baby… I'm right here."

"You promise?"

Rachel let out a shaky breath before pressing a lingering kiss to the top of Quinn's head. "Of course I promise. Quinn Berry-Fabray, you're stuck with me." She smiled at the soft laugh she heard from Quinn.

"Good, I wouldn't want it any other way."

"Me either." She reached for the blanket to cover them up before closing her eyes and savoring the feeling of Quinn relaxing against her.

* * *

><p><strong><em>So. Okay. I'm planning a trip in the beginning part of may to visit a very close friend of mine. Baby Capri 1990, in Oregon. So... she recently asked people for help in her story, so I'm going to do the same. If anybody lives in Washington or Oregon... what should we do? She lives in a smaller town and we were hoping for some of the 9 days I'm there that we can go to a major city. Just for like 3-4 days. So, any help would be awesome!<em>**

**_Don't forget to review, only takes a few seconds, or minutes, depending if you decide to write me an essay (which I definitely don't mind)._**

**_See you guys next week. All you Americans out there, enjoy your NFL Championship Round!_**

**_Go Ravens! :D_**


	21. Chapter 20

**_To Olacindy - Your question about the trial will be answered in this chapter :) And a suggestion of yours will be popping up in the next chapter._**

**_To Ad3n - I'm from Maryland, Hagerstown area. Thank you for your suggestion on what to do on the west coast. We've decided to stay in Portland for a few days, seems there's more that appeal to us there than in Seattle, though I really wanted to see the space needle... *grumbles*_**

**_To everybody else - Thank you for your kind reviews, they're really appreciated and keep me motivated to write._**

**_I hate to inform everybody, but I'm dangerously close to falling behind. I'm posting chapter 20 now, and I JUST finished chapter 21 yesterday. So that gives me a week to get 22 done or I'll officially be stressed and falling behind. So... yea, there will at least be one more chapter before a possible break. If that were to happen, I'll inform you all with the next chapter post._**

**_If... and I repeat IF, I have a break in the chapters, I'll simply start posting them as they're finished, so updates will become sporadic and won't be on every Sunday than. But, as I stated, I'll let you all know if it comes to that._**

**_ One last thing, due to schedule conflictions, I was unable to get with my beta to have her look over this for me, so it was looked over by myself, all 8200 words of it... I'm still impressed by the length of this chapter. There's a lot going on and I think it's an even mixture of happy and sad. I'm trying to add in more days per chapter, because seriously, nobody needs to know every day that happens in the Faberry household lol._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Chapter 20_**

**_February 16 – 9:00AM_**

"Come on back Quinn." Emily smiled from the doorway at the older woman. Her smile faded away though when she saw the blonde's facial expression. Something had happened over the weekend. And Emily could tell it was something bad.

"Morning…" Quinn finally spoke once the office door was closed and she'd already taken up residence on one of the chairs.

"I'd ask how you are doing, but I've come to learn some of your facial expressions." The younger brunette opened up a notepad before pulling a pen from her cup. "What happened on Valentine's Day?"

She hesitated for a minute. She remembered everything that happened two days ago. What was supposed to be a good night turned disastrous with a simple flick of the wrist. "Rachel loved the stir-fry I made for her." A small smile came to her lips. "She yelled at me because she assumed I had wine in my glass."

"Did you?" Emily looked as though she was about to yell at her too.

Quinn just chuckled softly at her psychologist's glare. "No, it was cranberry juice… to make it look like I was having wine with her." She blushed softly at just how silly it sounded. But she had wanted the whole experience to be there… for both of them, not just for Rachel. "You know, she even grabbed my glass and tasted it to make sure I wasn't lying."

"What happened after dinner?" Emily continued to question, knowing the real reason for Quinn's distress had to have come from after the meal.

"Everything was perfect…" She blushed as the events from that evening came flooding back into her mind. "I was able to touch her with no problem." Quinn had never been good at conveying anything sexual to anybody, not even Rachel. "But… the minute she started to touch me…"

"You panicked?" Emily finished for her, causing the blonde to just nod. "Did you have memories of him?" Again, Quinn nodded. She let out a soft sigh before placing her pen on the notepad that sat on her desk. "Your conscious mind realizes that Rachel would never hurt you. You know that, your body knows that. But somewhere locked in your unconscious mind you can't get the thoughts of him out of your head."

"It's like you said, I know Rachel wouldn't hurt me. She was nothing but gentle." Her fingers came up to rest against the scar near her neck that she knew was exposed with the top she'd chosen for the day. "When she kissed here… I just remembered how I'd gotten it." Emily nodded. "When she touched me… I flashed back to one of the times he touched me. Even though the feelings were so different… I couldn't separate them."

"And that happens Quinn. People tend to think they're fine, because they can focus solely on their conscious minds. They tend to forget about their unconscious ones, until something happens that's trapped in that part of their mind. In this case, her touching you brought that part out of your unconscious." She lifted up her pen again to make a short note. "Have you talked to her about any of this?"

"I try to. I really do. But I can never find the words to tell her how much it hurts." Quinn couldn't stop the tears from trickling down her cheeks. "I just want everything to go back to the way it was beforehand."

The younger woman nodded her sympathy. "That's understandable Quinn. But overcoming something so traumatic is a process. You can't just flick a switch and turn off all of the 'bad.'" Quinn let out a soft chuckle. That's exactly what she'd been trying to do. "What about your friend Brittany? Didn't you say she'd had something similar happen to her in high school? Have you tried talking to her?"

"No, I haven't. I don't know what to say to her. And, I guess I'm afraid she'll end up telling Santana about what I say. Most of the time B tends to share things without realizing it. So telling her something so personal… wouldn't turn out well."

"Alright…" Emily trailed off as she continued to write. After a few minutes she finally spoke again. "Would you be opposed to Rachel joining us in a session?"

"What? Why?" Quinn felt a new wave of panic start to overcome her.

"Sometimes, when you struggle to share things with the ones you love, having them sit in a session while talking to me will help them to understand things a little bit better. It might even help you be able to open up directly to her instead of me helping you." Quinn nodded her head softly. "Would that be alright with you if you brought her in next time?"

"Yea, I think that would be okay. I'll say something to her when I see her this afternoon."

**_February 16 – 3:30PM_**

"Honey?" Rachel called out from the bedroom. She stood in front of the closet just staring into it. Absolutely nothing stood out to her.

Quinn popped her head out from their adjoining bathroom, "yea?"

"I don't know what to wear." The brunette pouted. She never turned her head toward her wife, but Quinn knew the look on her face, especially when she heard the blonde laugh softly. "Will you help me?"

"Of course." Quinn glanced at the clock before walking out of the bathroom – brush still in hand. Before joining Rachel at the closet she flipped on their wall mounted television. It had become a habit of hers to watch the afternoon news on days she was home. "Well, you want something simple right?"

"Yes, I mean, you're wearing a nice dress, I want to wear a dress too. But nothing like I'd wear to an awards ceremony. I mean, this _is_ just dinner with some old friends." Rachel finally glanced over her shoulder and smiled at her wife. Quinn still took her breath away, especially in moments like this when she wore one of her sundresses. Her long hair was pulled over one shoulder, a habit she'd always had when brushing it out. Around her neck, Rachel could see the locket she'd gotten her for Christmas, it was complimented beautifully with the bracelet around her left wrist. "You're beautiful."

Quinn blushed under the smaller woman's observation. "Well thank you. And you will too once we get you dressed." She carefully pushed past the brunette to walk into the closet. "What about that nice black skirt you got last winter? You know that light one… it is kind of warm outside. You can wear that with this blouse." She held up a white blouse for Rachel's approval. The brunette tilted her head to the side, examining it for a moment before she went to the second that had her bottoms in it to search for the skirt Quinn was talking about.

"I can't wear that skirt…" Rachel huffed in frustration. "Remember the barbeque over the summer? It got ruined when Santana decided to push me into the pool."

Quinn couldn't help the laugh that echoed through the small room at the memory. Rachel had said something to frustrate their friend. So Santana had thought it would be a perfect revenge to push the diva into the pool when she wasn't looking. Little did she know though, that it would effectively ruin the skirt because of the material it was made of. "That was funny though."

"Hmph!" Rachel turned back to her selection of skirts. "I didn't find it funny in the least Quinn. You could have come to my rescue instead of just letting her shove me like that."

"I didn't know she was going to do it!" She quickly tried to defend herself. Quinn pulled out another top before making her way to her wife and sliding her arms around Rachel's slender waist. "You know I love you."

"I love you too, but you still could have helped." Rachel continued pouting.

"What about this…" She held up the dark red top that matched her own dress perfectly, before pulling out a dark denim skirt, "with this?"

Rachel took the items from Quinn and tilted her head to the side to examine them. "I think…" She spun around to give her wife a kiss. "It's perfect."

"Oh, I know I'm good." Quinn smirked before stealing another kiss.

"You're just full of yourself today aren't you Quinn?" The statement drew more laughter from Quinn. "How was your appointment?"

"It was… okay. I actually needed to talk to you about that." Quinn made her way back into the bedroom to sit at the foot of the bed. Her eyes turned to the television as she continued to brush out her hair. "Emily thinks it would be a good idea for you to sit in for the next visit."

Rachel popped her head out of the closet. She'd already taken her current shirt off and stood there in nothing but her bra and jeans. "Is that what you want?" Quinn smiled softly at her and nodded. "I think I can arrange that with Jason. When's your next appointment?"

"The 21st at 8. I had them change it to the first one in the morning because of your sched…" She stopped in the middle of her sentence when the news came back on, showing a picture of her in the top right hand corner. She quickly reached out for the remote to turn the volume up.

_"… for the alleged rape, kidnapping, and attempted murder of Quinn Berry-Fabray – wife of new Hollywood prospect Rachel Berry-Fabray."_ The picture in the corner shifted some to show one of Rachel beside it. _"Trial date for Jim Fields has been set for March 17th and will be taking place in New York City…"_

Quinn shut the television off before the report could go any further. Her hand shook as she placed the remote back on the bed beside her. "It's national news now…"

"Honey?" Rachel quickly buttoned the last bit of her blouse before sitting on the bed beside her wife and sliding her arm around her shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"I… I was perfectly fine until I heard that." She cracked a forced smile. "At least they didn't show his picture… right?" Rachel nodded. "At least something good happened."

The brunette gently cupped the broken woman's cheeks, forcing their eyes to meet. "Try not to focus on this honey. We're going to have a good night with Mike, Tina, and their kids." Quinn nodded. "Alright, that's what I thought. Now, get your cute little butt in gear and finish doing your hair." It drew another light chuckle from Quinn, who listened and retreated to the bathroom to finish getting ready.

**_February 16 – 7:00PM_**

"I'll have to decline." Quinn bit her lip softly. Thankfully Tina didn't question her as she began pouring three glasses of wine. The kids had since retired to their own rooms. Damien was playing his video games, as announced at the table, and Alisa was probably on her computer, or watching movies. The teenager hadn't talked much during dinner. Mike had explained that she tended not to do well around new people at first. It was a trait that Quinn definitely understood.

"I have to say…" Rachel started out moments before she took a seat on the sofa beside Quinn. "That pasta was absolutely delicious." She glanced up at her wife who had her eyes closed and was taking slow, deep breaths. Rachel frowned, she already knew what that meant. And in all honesty, it couldn't have picked a worst time to hit her. "Mike, where's your restroom?" She took the liberty of asking for Quinn, knowing that if she tried to talk it would only speed up the process.

"Up the steps, second door on the left." Before he had a chance to finish Quinn was too her feet, practically running toward the staircase, Rachel right behind her. "What's wrong?"

"Just… give us a minute Mike, okay?" Rachel called behind her.

Quinn barely made it to her knees before all of the food she'd just eaten came back up. "Rachel?" She weakly called out between stomach spasms. She wasn't sure if her wife had followed her up the steps or not.

"I'm right here baby." She pulled the blonde hair out of Quinn's face and held it with one hand. Rachel lifted her skirt some before kneeling on the floor beside her wife. She used her free hand to rub soothing circles on her back. "I'm not going anywhere."

Quinn nodded. She didn't dare look up from where she was at. Not until her stomach stopped turning at least. Several deep breaths left her lungs as she tried to fight away the bubble that was making its way up her throat one more time. This was definitely the part of pregnancy she hated the most. "Why here?"

"I don't know honey… you can't help when it hits you." Rachel stood up to get Quinn a cup of water, then proceeded to open up the cabinets to look for mouthwash for her. "Here…" She handed two cups down to her wife. "Mike and Tina are going to ask what's wrong…"

Quinn nodded again. She rinsed her mouth out with the mouthwash Rachel had found before taking a few sips of the water. A heavy sigh left her mouth at the relief the cool water caused on her rough throat. "I know they will." She knew it from the moment she felt the bile start to rise into her throat. She knew they could trust them. Mike and Tina wouldn't open their mouths, especially if they were asked not to. Quinn's pregnancy couldn't go public yet, not with the trial next month. It would only add more fuel to the fire and it was something Quinn wasn't prepared to deal with yet.

Rachel didn't bother pushing any further. She simply leaned against the door and watched Quinn finish rinsing her mouth and spitting the blue liquid into the toilet before flushing it. "You okay?"

"Yea, I think I'll be fine now." Quinn tossed out a small smile before Rachel opened the door and the pair made their way back down the steps.

"Is everything alright?" Tina was first to question when the pair entered the living room.

Quinn reclaimed her seat on the sofa, with Rachel at her side. "Quinn's just been battling a stomach bug lately. She'll be fine." Lying to cover it up would be the best bet. Or so Rachel had thought.

"Rach… it's okay." Quinn placed her hand on top of her wife's before looking across the room at their friends. "I can trust them." Rachel just nodded, not bothering to speak anymore. She figured it was best to let Quinn do the talking. "I'm pregnant… two months now."

Silence filled the room. An uncomfortable one. "Two months?" Mike asked.

The blonde nodded. She could see the look on his face. It was quite obvious he was doing the quick math in his head. Once it finally clicked to both of them, their facial expressions fell. "Oh god…" Tina's hand shot up to cover her mouth. "You mean…?" Quinn just nodded again, confirming both of their suspicions. "Oh Quinn." Tina placed her glass on the table before rushing to her friend's side and pulling her into a hug.

The gesture caused tears to fall freely from Quinn's eyes. It just continued to show her that there were people who cared about her. Over Tina's shoulder, she could see Mike sporting an expression similar to Santana's when she'd found out. He looked like he wanted to kill someone. "It's okay though." Quinn forced the words out – her hand blindly reaching for Rachel's without breaking the connection Tina had with her. "I'm okay."

"What are you going to do?"

The blonde met Mike's eyes and could tell he was completely serious about the question. The look he showed her was one that was not judgmental in the least. He wouldn't think of her any differently regardless of what she'd decided to do. "We're keeping it…"

Tina pulled away to look Quinn in the eye. "Really?"

Rachel finally decided to step in, to save Quinn from having to share all of the details. "We tried a few years ago to have a child, but nothing worked… this… this baby – though from unfortunate circumstances – may be our only chance at a family."

**_February 17 – 1:00PM_**

Another box down. She paused long enough in her efforts to grab the last box from the garage to take back into the house to sort through. Pausing at the door long enough to fix the yellow bandana that covered her hair and helped keep it out of her face, she looked at her last box. Written on the top of it, _'High School.'_ It was obviously Rachel's handwriting. Her own wasn't very bubbly, or neat for that matter.

The minute she walked back into the house, carrying the last box she was greeted with loud music from the stereo system along the wall. She couldn't help herself as she started to bounce along with the music. Her mouth soon opened to sing.

**_Huggin' and a-kissin'  
>Dancin' and a-lovin'<br>Wearin' next to nothin'  
>'Cause it's hot as an oven<br>The whole shack shimmies  
>Yeah, the whole shack shimmies<br>The whole shack shimmies when everybody's  
>Movin' around and around and around and around<br>Everybody's movin', everybody's groovin', baby  
>Folks linin' up outside just to get down<br>Everybody's movin', everybody's groovin', baby  
>Funky little shack<br>Funky little shack_**

Quinn couldn't help but giggle at her own actions. It was moments like this, when she'd been dancing around the house and singing at the top of her lungs… she was thankful for the privacy fence that separated them from their neighbors. What would people think seeing a middle-aged woman dancing around barefoot, in a torn t-shirt, rolled up grey sweatpants, and a bandana on their head? The blonde shook her head at the thought before making herself comfortable on the floor and popping open the box. Her head continued to bob to the music, her mouth moving along with the rest of the lyrics as she pulled a few old yearbooks out and placed them to the side.

"Hello, what's this?" She tilted her head to the side, her eyes narrowing as she pulled out a reddish colored blob. "Oh my god…" She couldn't stop herself from bursting into laughter as she reached for her phone to type a quick message to her wife.

_Quinn: You kept my wig from Rocky Horror? Lol_

After messing with it for a minute or two, she finally got it straightened out and placed it perfectly on top of her head. She briefly mused at the thought of how odd she knew she looked, but it didn't matter. Quinn was having fun. Not a single bad memory was entering her mind as the radio changed to the next song on the random playlist. Once again she burst into laughter, mostly at the irony of the song that had decided to play next. She opened her mouth to sing as she continued pulling random things out of the box, a set of matching cat calendars from senior year was next.

**_This was never the way I planned  
>Not my intention<br>I got some brave, drink in hand  
>Lost my discretion<em>**

It's not what  
>I'm used to<br>Just wanna try you on  
>I'm curious for you<br>Caught my attention

I kissed a girl and I liked it  
>The taste of her cherry chapstick<br>I kissed a girl just to try it  
>I hope my boyfriend don't mind it<br>It felt so wrong  
>It felt so right<br>Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
>I kissed a girl and I like it<p>

There was such irony in those words. Quinn shook her head at the mere thought of it. When they'd performed that song in Glee senior year, it wasn't just for Santana. No, it was for her as well. To help her deal with coming out of the closet and being in love with Rachel. Somewhere in between _'cherry chapstick'_ and _'boyfriend'_ Quinn heard her phone go off. She quickly reached out for it and saw a reply from Rachel.

_Rachel: Oh my goodness, did you find the high school box?_

_Quinn: Yes I did. I'll send you a picture_

The blonde scampered to her feet and hurried into the bathroom. She examined herself closely in the mirror before fluffing out the faux hair even further. Her lips pursed as she snapped a photo with her cell phone and quickly sent it off to Rachel for her enjoyment, with the caption _'just need the maid costume ;)'_

Quinn had barely made it back into the living room before breaking out into more lyrics.

**_Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
>I kissed a girl and I like it<br>I liked it_**

The screen on her phone lit up, signaling an incoming call. Her lips curled up into a smile as she answered it, never bothering to stop her singing. "Us girls, we are so magical. Soft skin, red lips, so kissable. Hard to resists, so touchable."

Before she had a chance to continue, Rachel's laughter cut her off. "_Well someone's in a good mood today._"

"Yes, I am. How's the shoot going?" She situated herself back on the floor, tucking her phone between her shoulder and her ear in the process.

"_Jason's being friendly to us today. Though him and a lot of other people looked at me funny when I burst into laughter at that photograph._" Rachel started giggling halfway through her statement.

"So, you're laughing at me now?" Quinn tossed out her best hurt voice. Even though the smile never once left her face.

"_No! I'd never laugh at you. I'm laughing with you honey!_"

Quinn giggled at her wife's quick defense. "It's so easy to get you riled up baby." She gasped softly when she came across two plain white t-shirts.

"_Quinn? You okay? What happened?_" Rachel couldn't stop herself from panicking at the sound of her wife gasping softly.

"Wow…" She whispered as she unfolded both of the shirts and laid them side by side on the floor. One read _'Likes Girls'_ while the other read _'Lebanese.'_ She let out a breathy chuckle at the sight of them. "I'm fine Rach, promise."

_"Then what is it?"_

"Who would have thought…" She carefully ran her fingers along the imprinted black lettering on what was her own shirt. "All those years ago when we did Born This Way in Glee… that wearing this shirt would have opened so many doors for me."

_"The Born This Way shirts?"_ It was obvious that she was smiling.

"Yea."

_"It was when you and Santana finally came clean about who you were. I just had to keep them baby."_

"Yea, and look where this little tiny bit of courage led us? Santana married Brittany, I married you, and none of us ever looked back."

_"I love you Quinn."_

"I love you too Rachel. More and more every day." She started to fold up her own shirt, leaving Santana's _'Lebanese'_ shirt out to take a picture to show her later on. "You know once Santana finds out about this she'll insist on trying to wear the shirt again."

_"None of us have the heart to tell her she's gained a little bit of weight since high school." _Rachel chuckled softly. It wasn't that Santana was fat, no, she had just filled out her form a little more over the years.

"Yea, then she'll claim the shirt shrunk." A very familiar buzzing noise echoed through the house, causing Quinn to jump some at the intrusion. She stood up from her spot and turned the stereo down some before heading to the door. "Rach, hold on a second, someone's at the door."

_"Okay, I'll be right here."_

Quinn smiled softly as she pulled open the front door. Her smile quickly faded when she saw a police officer standing on the other side, holding a clipboard in her hand. "Can I help you?"

The younger woman bit her lower lip to try not to laugh at the blonde's appearance. "I'm looking for a Mrs. Quinn Berry-Fabray."

"That's me…" Her voice trailed off. The officer couldn't stop herself from glancing up at Quinn's fuzzy red hair, an action that caused Quinn to blush and quickly pull the forgotten wig off her head and toss it to the floor behind her. "Uh, yea… I was going through some boxes… Um… long story. Anyway, how can I help you?"

"I have a court summons for you ma'am. Can I just get you to sign here for me?" She pulled a sealed envelope off of her clipboard before proceeding to show the blonde where she needed to sign. Once Quinn's shaky signature was on the paper, the officer smiled and nodded her head. "Thank you ma'am, you have a good day."

Quinn stayed in the doorway for a minute, simply watching the officer as she walked back to her squad car. "Hey I'm back…" Her voice lacked all of the joyfulness it held a few minutes prior.

_"Baby, what happened?"_

"I just got court papers…" She could feel a very familiar bubble starting to make its way up her throat. She didn't want to cry. Hell, she couldn't cry. Today was suppose to be a good day for her. She'd been having so much fun until that damn cop came to ruin it for her. "I haven't even opened them yet."

_"We both know what it's about… Do you want me to come home early?"_

A silent tear slid down the blonde's cheek as she choked out her response. "Please?"

_"Alright, I'm off to find Jason right this moment. Why don't you give Brittany or Santana a call? I know Jason won't let me leave for another shoot or two, and I'm sure one of them will be available. It is almost 5 there."_

"Okay." Quinn really didn't know what to say. All she knew was that she didn't want to be alone right now. She also didn't want to cry, but that was quickly becoming the inevitable.

_"Baby, promise me, if it gets to be too much, come to the studio, okay?"_

"I will, I promise."

_"Okay, I see Jason now, I'll get home as soon as I can, I promise. I love you."_

"I love you too."

**_February 17 – 5:00PM (East Coast Time)_**

With her coat now hung in the hall closet, Santana kicked off her shoes and put her purse on the table near the entryway. "B, I'm home." She called out to a seemingly empty house. She would have assumed Brittany wasn't there, if it wasn't for the tell-tale smell of pizza coming from the kitchen.

"Hey, how was work?" Brittany knew that Santana couldn't really discuss much from her job. But asking the question every day for the past 17 years always seemed to help Santana open up, even about the little things.

"Talked to Sarah today." The Latina rested her hand on the dancer's slender hip before giving her a chaste kiss. "There's a trial date set."

Brittany popped the door open to the oven to check on the pizza before moving to join her wife who had already sat at the table. "When is it?"

"It's scheduled to start March 17th. Unless they somehow get a continuance." She let out a shaky breath. In reality, it would all be over soon. Nobody though, was looking forward to the trial.

Brittany reached out to brush some hair behind the brunette's ear before smiling softly at her. "Still sucks you can't do the case baby."

"I wanted it so badly too. But there's a conflict of interest because Quinn and I are such close friends. They were worried that it would be too personal for me. And something like that could ruin the whole case. He definitely doesn't need to walk because I was too incapable of separating my biased opinions from fact."

After placing another kiss to Santana's lips, Brittany spoke again. "Why don't you go take a shower, the pizza should be done in about ten more minutes."

Without another word the Latina was up and heading toward their bedroom. A shower would help clear her mind and relax her tense muscles. Her mind began to wander as soon as the warm water hit her naked body. She couldn't help but wonder how Quinn and Rachel were doing. The last time they'd spoken was about a week ago. The conflicting schedules, as well as the three hour time difference definitely wasn't helping things much. Santana knew that at the end of March everything would be better and they'd be back to having just a few miles between them. It didn't make it any less hard though to be away from two people she considered her family.

Brittany was bouncing around in the kitchen, mentally going over some new choreography as she moved from cabinet to cabinet. Her first stop she grabbed two plates, and the second stop she grabbed two glasses. As she skipped toward the refrigerator to get some sodas out she heard her wife's cell phone start ringing. Usually she didn't bother with it, but the specific ringtone told her it was alright.

"Hey Quinn!" Brittany beamed as she answered the phone on its third ring.

_"It's… It's all coming back…"_

The blonde's smile quickly fell off her face when she heard Quinn's tone of voice. It was obvious she'd been crying. She shut the oven off before she pulled the pizza out. Once it was cooling on the countertop she put the phone on speaker as she walked to the bathroom. "What's coming back Q?"

_"Everything… I-I got the court papers today."_ She was barely able to finish her sentence before tears hit her eyes. _"What's that noise?"_

Brittany glanced at her wife's silhouette through the shower curtain. "I figured you'd wanna talk to both of us, and San's in the shower."

"That Quinn?" Santana popped her head out from behind the curtain. When Brittany nodded she vanished again. "Hi Q."

_"Hey…"_ Her voice sounded so weak and lifeless through the phone. _"I just needed someone to talk to."_

The blonde hopped up onto the counter and leaned against the wall, Santana's phone still in her hand. "Rachel's still working?"

_"Yea, but she said she'd try to come home early. And if it gets to be too much than I promised to go to the studio."_

"Good. I'm glad you called us, we can keep ya occupied 'til the little diva gets home." Santana shut the water off before pushing open the shower curtain and reaching for a towel to wrap around her body. "Oh, guess what I found out today?" She gently pressed against Brittany's leg to grab the brush that was behind her.

_"What's that?"_

"Sarah's handling the case." The only response she received was a muffled cry. She instantly knew that talking about the trial or anything linked to it was not why Quinn had called. "How's the movie shoot coming along?" She quickly changed the subject to get Quinn's mind away from the worst.

_"Rach told me everything's on schedule. She'll be leaving right after the trial to do some on location filming."_

"Where's she going to?" Brittany hopped off the counter once Santana was finished pulling on a tank top and flannel pajama pants. She followed her back out into the kitchen to start making up their plates.

_"Up to Monterey Bay. She'll be gone for almost a month."_ Quinn sighed softly.

"Well me and San will keep you company while she's gone." Brittany picked up a slice of her pizza to take a bite. The conversation remained light for the next 35 minutes. Brittany and Santana ate their dinner, all while talking to Quinn about anything and everything. They learned more details about Rachel's movie and even some of her co-stars that Quinn got along with. Quinn also talked about the three or four – Santana lost count – job offers she'd already gotten, and that she hasn't decided on which one to take yet.

* * *

><p>The blonde pulled the blanket off the back of the sofa and draped it over her legs. She was curled up on the corner of the sofa while talking to her best friends. It was basic, but it helped. Not much had changed since high school and Quinn knew she could talk to Brittany and Santana for hours, even about nothing at all. Their topics were as random as Brittany's thoughts and it was just enough to keep her mind off of the inevitable.<p>

"I found a box from high school." Quinn started with a soft laugh. Her eyes immediately drifted to the open box on the floor and the contents that were strewn around it. "Rachel kept our _Born This Way_ shirts."

_"Oh shit. I always knew she was a bit of a pack rat Q, I've tried to tell you."_ Santana's light-hearted voice filled her ears. Before Quinn had a chance to respond something must have clicked for her best friend. _"Wait, your 'Likes Girls' and my 'Lebanese' shirts? Those shirts?"_

"Yea, I know. I asked her about them… she kept them because of it being a turning point for us both San. Look at what that little bit of courage in high school did for us."

A comfortable silence fell between the three friends. Quinn's eyes began to close as her free hand came to rest on her stomach. The fingers started rubbing soothing circles on the lower patch of skin that was already starting to get hard from the baby forming. It was days like the one she had where she completely forgot about the pregnancy, yet it was moments like this that it all came crashing back to reality.

_"We love you Q!"_ Brittany chirped into the phone, effectively drawing laughter from both Quinn and Santana. _"What? It's true!"_

"And I love you guys too."

_"We're like one big happy family. A big gay family, but a family nonetheless." _

Just as Quinn burst into laughter again she heard heavy footsteps coming across the wooden floor of the hallway. The blonde looked up to see the panicked expression her wife wore. It quickly faded when she noticed the laughter coming from Quinn.

"Hey Quinn." The brunette let out a heavy sigh before leaning down to plant a lingering kiss on her wife's lips. She'd been worried the entire time she was still filming about Quinn. She knew how easily she got upset whenever someone mentioned anything to do with the trial or what happened.

_"Oh, is that Rachel? Hi Rachel!"_

"Hang on B, I'll put it on speaker, you can tell her yourself." Quinn hit the button on her phone before lifting the blanket to invite Rachel to join her. An invite that was quickly taken. The smaller brunette curled up between Quinn's legs and rested her head against the blonde's shoulder. "Hey you." She whispered against Rachel's ear before closing her eyes and resting her head against her wife's.

_"Hey Rach, Quinn was telling us all about your movie. We're coming to your premiere right?"_

Rachel just giggled at Santana's question. "If I could, I would Santana. I know I'll be able to bring Quinn, not sure about anybody else. There's still three months left in filming, then another two or so months of editing to make sure it's ready. The studio's expecting a beginning to mid August release."

_"If Santana gets to come, I get to come too right Rach?"_

"Of course Brittany, I couldn't bring one of you and not the other, that's not fair." The brunette shifted just a little to tuck her forehead into the crook of Quinn's neck. Her right hand found Quinn's and interlocked their fingers together. Moments like this were becoming more and more frequent as Quinn continued her daily battle with recovery.

_"Awesome!"_

"Thank you for keeping me company." Quinn whispered softly toward the phone. "But I think we should get off of here, I haven't seen Rachel all day and I wanna spend time with her."

_"I know all about spending time with the wife."_ It was obvious that she was smiling. _"Don't be afraid to call us Q. We're always here, and if we don't answer we'll call back soon. Promise."_

"Thanks San. Love you guys."

Rachel placed a gentle kiss on Quinn's cheek before repeating her affection to their best friends. _"We love you guys too. Bye."_

"Bye." Rachel grabbed the phone to end the call. After placing it on the floor beside the sofa, she turned to face the blonde completely. "How are you doing?"

"I still haven't opened it." She bit her lower lip and shifted some to lay down completely on the sofa. The movement trapped Rachel between her and the back of the sofa. "I don't need to open it to know what it is Rachel."

"Talk to me honey."

Quinn's eyes closed as she took several deep breaths to calm her nerves. Talking to Rachel wouldn't mean the end of the world. Rachel always did her best to understand whatever she talked about, even if it made no sense to herself. "It all came back to me. The minute I saw that cop and knew what she was here for… God Rach, it felt like the breath was knocked out of my lungs."

Rachel allowed her hand to rest near Quinn's hip. Her thumb tracing a gentle pattern of the skin that was exposed by Quinn's t-shirt riding up some. "We're all here for you Quinn. This is going to be all over soon."

"Will it?" She paused to take her wife's smaller hand and press it against her stomach. "Or will there be a lifetime of memories… right here?" Quinn swallowed a few times before giving up on the battle she was losing against her tears. They slowly slid down her cheeks.

"Don't think like that. I'm sure the baby will look just like you honey. He or she won't have anything to do with him. When they're older, if you want to that is… we can explain to them how they were created and how – in the end – we felt so lucky to be given the opportunity to have a child." From that point on Quinn was silent. She was nothing but a mass of emotions. At least she didn't run off for a shower. Rachel was thankful she'd finally grown out of that stage. "I hate how this came about, but I couldn't be happier that we're having a family of our own Quinn." She watched her wife nod softly. Deep down she knew Quinn was happy about having a family, they'd discussed this several times. "I love you baby." She pulled the blonde close to her and just rocked her gently – knowing it would sooth her.

**_February 18 – 8:20AM_**

"I hate that I'm making you late for your shoot."

"Would you stop that, I'm not late, I don't have any shoot scheduled until noon. That's why we made the appointment today." Rachel gripped her wife's hand tighter and watched her fidget with the bottom of her white paper gown. "I would have done anything to be here with you, regardless of my schedule. You know that."

"Yea…" Quinn's eyes quickly found something fascinating on the tiled floor at the foot of the table she sat on. She was nervous. Not because it was another sonogram, but because this sonogram they'd find out the due date of the baby. Her heart was beating so fast that it quickly became the only sound she could focus on. Nothing had really sank in for her yet. Granted, the sickness helped the reality of it all, but everything still felt like a dream. Like some horrible dream that she just couldn't quite wake up from.

"Good morning Quinn." An older woman walked into the room carrying a clipboard in her hand. "I'm Dr. April Blair." She extended her hand for the blonde to shake, which she did. "I've read over your hospital files… so if anything makes you uncomfortable, please tell me."

Quinn bit her lip before turning to Rachel. When the brunette just nodded, she opened her mouth to speak. "Alright… So, I guess you know everything?" Dr. Blair nodded before taking a seat near the blonde. "This entire thing is uncomfortable." She admitted very softly. At first she assumed nobody had heart her. That was, until there was a comforting squeeze on her hand from Rachel. "It's so surreal. Knowing that our only chance at a family came from… him." She cringed at her own wording. She truly hated talking about it. But, in the end, she knew it would help her. It's worked so far.

"Well…" Dr. Blaire carefully wrapped a blood pressure cuff around Quinn's arm before speaking again. "I just have to get some basic stats here and ask some questions, then we can look at the newest addition to the Berry-Fabray household."

As the doctor took her blood pressure, Quinn smiled. Hearing her predicament worded like that almost made her forget everything. Almost. Deep down, she knew she'd never fully forget. The child though, would never know the torture Quinn had to endure to give him or her life. "What kind of questions did you have?"

"First off, your blood pressure's a little high for your age, but that's to be expected given all that's happened." She placed the cuff on a table behind her before grabbing her clipboard again. "Just some family history questions, and your medical history questions."

Quinn sat on the table answering every question. They started off about her parents and their medical history. Half way through answering questions about her mother she felt herself start to cry. She hadn't talked about her mother much since she'd passed away nearly four years ago. After taking a moment to compose herself and focus on Rachel to calm her down. "We tried about ten years ago to get pregnant to have a baby, but neither of us had any luck." She turned her attention back to the doctor as she answered yet another question.

"Have you ever had any blood pressure or heart problems?" Quinn shook her head no. "Alright, I think that just about wraps up my questions. I do need to get some blood to send away." Dr. Blair reached into a drawer for a syringe and some vials before grabbing some gloves to put on her hands. "This is to check your sugar levels, and make sure there's nothing underlying that's not showing." The blonde nodded, she turned her head toward Rachel – flinching when she felt the needle be pressed into her vein. She'd always hated needles, a trait Rachel found amusing in her tough, strong wife. "There, all done."

Quinn's head finally turned to look at the doctor as she placed a piece of gauze over the hole and covered it with medical tape. "See honey, you're okay." Rachel had long forgotten her seat and taken to standing so she could be closer to her wife. She dipped down to place her forehead against Quinn's. "I'm right here."

Dr. Blair remained quiet, allowing the two women to have a moment before she placed a thin blanket over the blonde's legs before slowly starting to lift up the paper gown to expose Quinn's still flat stomach. "Since you've had a child before, you know the routine, right?" The blonde nodded – still not turning to look at the doctor. "Are you doing okay?"

"Yea." She finally turned her head to look at the doctor who was moving a very familiar machine into her view. "I already know the gel will be cold." She smiled softly when the doctor let out a soft chuckle. A long, heavy sigh left her lungs as her grip on Rachel's hand tightened.

"Are you both ready?" Dr. Blair flipped on the machine before pressing the paddle against Quinn's lower abdomen. It only took a few short seconds for the small figure to appear on the screen. It was soon followed by a quickly beating heart.

Quinn felt tears slide down her cheeks at the sight. Things were so much better for her than the last time. She was actually able to watch the baby on the screen. "Is that normal?"

The doctor glanced at the screen before smiling. "Yes, it's normal for the fetus to move around that much. You won't actually start to feel it for about seven or eight more weeks." She moved the paddle to a slightly different location on Quinn's stomach before zooming in some on the image. "Do you see that?" Quinn nodded. "Those are the baby's arms, right below that are its legs."

"Wow…" Rachel carefully rested her head against Quinn's as they both watched the fetus on the screen.

"Your baby is developing just fine. Heart beat is steady and strong. You're not having any complications…" During her explanation, she continued to take pictures. "It appears you're 10 weeks… or 8 weeks from conception, however you'd wish to look at it."

Rachel gently wiped silent tears away from Quinn's eyes. "So when would she be due then?" She figured it would be best for her to ask the questions that she knew her wife wanted to ask, but couldn't. Quinn was too focused on the image on the screen to be able to ask anything.

"Based on the child's current stage… September 12th. But due dates are simply an estimate. Labor and delivery are always unexpected. Due to Quinn's age and the fact that she's already had a child earlier in life, there is a low possibility she could go early. But don't worry about that, it's something you won't have to worry about for several months yet."

"And if I were… to go early." Quinn was finally able to pull her eyes off of the screen to look at the doctor.

Dr. Blair tossed her patient a soothing smile. "That's nothing you have to worry about Quinn. You're healthy and the baby's healthy. Just make sure you keep eating right and don't be afraid to exercise." She slowly pulled away before wiping the gel off of the blonde's stomach. "Would you like a few minutes to yourselves?" She asked when she noticed Quinn looking at the frozen picture on the screen again. "Alright, let me go and print out some pictures for you and I'll be back in a few minutes." The doctor spoke again when all Quinn did was nod her head.

"That's our baby." Rachel smiled at the screen before leaning forward to kiss the still exposed stomach of her wife. "He or she is all ours honey." Her hand came up to cradle the blonde's cheek.

"Yea…" Quinn trailed off. For the first time since entering the examination room she found herself smiling. "You know… we're going to be 57 when he or she graduates high school."

The brunette giggled at her wife. "No, you will. I'll still be 56."

"You always have to keep reminding me that I'm 8 months older than you. Is it really necessary?"

"It sure is. Because you like to always complain about my birthday being so close to Christmas." Rachel shot back at the blonde. "Even though growing up I never had any issues with it."

"That's because you didn't celebrate it." Quinn smiled as she sat up. She accepted her dress that Rachel handed to her. At least over the past few weeks she'd gotten more comfortable with revealing herself to her wife again – something she never would have given a second thought to three months ago. Everything was surreal for the blonde, as she pulled down the gown and replaced it with her dress, she thought. She thought back to how everything had progressed since the _incident_, as it was now called. She had days where it felt like nothing ever happened, but others all she wanted to do was cry. Thankfully today though, was an even balance of the two. Not too much remembrance, and not too much forgotten. "I love you Rachel."

The brunette carefully wrapped her arms around Quinn's still slender waist and tilted her head back to look up at her. "I love you too Quinn."

"Even when I'm fat and moody?"

"Quinn! You will not get 'fat.' It's baby weight."

Quinn chuckled softly. "So… even when I'm fat?"

Rachel let out a defeated sigh before resting her head against her wife's chest. "Yes, even when you're fat."

* * *

><p><strong><em>Tried to make it more realistic with how Quinn and Rachel would react to seeing the child again. Now that tension isn't what it was in the hospital. I'm going to go work on chapter 22 now, hopefully I can get it done quickly. I'm also hoping I can keep the long chapter lengths too, next chapter is around 6200 words. <em>**

**_I'm trying here people! Show me some love :D Please? Especially for the longest single chapter I've ever written. _**

**_One last thing, still taking votes for the baby's gender, though I think I'm safe to say it's going to be a girl.  
><em>**


	22. Chapter 21

**_READ THIS! So much has happened to my over the past week. All good things :D Alright, those of you who may have me on PSN have noticed I've been playing Final Fantasy XIII-2 all week, that's because it came out Tuesday, and I picked it up Monday at midnight. So my time has been occupied with that. I'm a gamer at heart, I can't help it._**

**_Ok, event number two: Thursday, I find out that one of my supervisors... "left." Which invoked a chain of events. Our former front end supervisor is moving to the area supervisor spot, and... I'm moving to the front end supervisor spot :D Once all of that goes into effect, I'll have a different working schedule. Which should, in a way, give me more of a chance to write... I'm hoping.  
><em>**

**_Event number three: Friday, my federal taxes were in my bank account. Yesterday, I spent most of my day looking and comparing airfare prices for my trip in May. Then, last night I went to a coworker's slumber party. If you don't know what a slumber party is, look it up ;) it was SO much fun._**

**_Okay, on to the bad news. Because of said things happening all week, I'm officially behind. Chapter 22 is NOT complete yet. Which means, that I'm shifting my posting schedule. From now until completion, chapters will be posted as they're finished, instead of on Sundays only. That also means, there may be more than a week between chapters. I really apologize, but with the video game... I needed "me" time. Then everything else sort of fell into place with work and my taxes, and more planning on my trip. So I hardly even turned my computer on this past week._**

**_Thanks to Jennception for looking this over for me last night/this morning.  
><em>**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Chapter 21_**

**_February 21 – 8:00AM_**

"It's nice to see you again Rachel." The younger woman extended her hand to the brunette before throwing her a warm smile.

"You too Emily." Rachel placed her hand back into Quinn's before following the therapist down the hallway before entering the office. It was the first time Rachel had been inside of Emily's office. She took a moment to simply look around the room after taking a seat on the sofa beside Quinn. One of the walls held a floor to ceiling bookcase that was full of different psychology books. The wall opposite of the shelving unit had scattered pictures as well as several framed degrees. Rachel was sure that it just as welcoming to other patients as it was for her and Quinn.

"So, how's everything been since we last talked?" Emily directed her question more toward Quinn than Rachel. She already knew that her patient's wife was sitting in, in order to learn more about what was going on with Quinn

Quinn bit her lip. She was still a little uneasy about Rachel actually sitting in on one of her sessions. It had sounded so much better when her and Emily had discussed it. "Before I answer anything…" she turned to look at Rachel, "everything I say… needs to stay in here Rachel." She watched the brunette nod before she let out a shaky breath. Quinn closed her eyes for a moment to regain her composure. Suddenly, she wondered why she agreed to have Rachel sit in. "Things have been okay." Quinn spoke softly. Part of her expected Rachel to jump in and correct her. When nothing came out, she was thankful.

"So what have you done since your last visit?" Emily dared to glace at Rachel. The brunette was watching her wife intently. She could tell that Rachel wanted to say something but wasn't. Emily could also tell that Quinn was holding back because of said brunette being there.

The blonde's eyes scanned the floor for a moment before locking onto a loose fiber in the carpet. "We had dinner with Mike, Tina, and their kids."

"How did that go?" She made some notes on her paper – mostly about Quinn's uncomfortable behavior.

"Honestly?" She never looked up at Emily for confirmation before continuing. "Everything was great. Tina's an amazing cook and Mike's nothing but a gentlemen. Their kids were kind of quiet but they told us they're just shy around new people… then I had to go and get sick… I'm glad Rachel followed me into the bathroom, but in a way… I didn't want her to." Quinn figured that the only way she'd be able to share everything was to pretend Rachel wasn't there. If she didn't look at her, she could easily convince herself it was just her and Emily. "I didn't want her to see me like that – at my weakest."

Rachel started to reach out to touch the broken woman but quickly stopped herself when Quinn shook her head. This was the first time she'd be hearing the blonde open up and she wasn't about to just throw it away because of a compulsive need to touch Quinn.

"Why didn't you want Rachel to see you sick?"

"It wasn't just then. It's every time I get sick when she's around. It's just a horrible reminder of what happened to me. I don't want her to have to deal with something she can't control." Quinn finally glanced at Rachel. She offered her a small attempt at a smile before looking back down at the carpet again. "After I got sick at Mike and Tina's… Rachel tried to cover it up by telling them that I had been fighting a stomach bug." She smiled some at how sweet she thought it was of Rachel to try to hide it on her behalf. "But I corrected her. I told them because I knew I could trust them. They were our friends in high school, and a chance encounter brought us back together again."

Emily smiled at Quinn's wording, the blonde in front of her was still healing. She'd also come quite a long way from that woman in the hospital bed refusing to even look at her. "How did they react?"

"Tine just hugged me. I'm sure Mike would have too, but he knows and understands my fear around men. I never actually told him, but he's figured it out with the time we've spent together on the movie set… He looked like he wanted to kill someone." She chuckled at the thought. In reality, Mike would never hurt a fly. "I got my court summons for the trial…"

That caught Emily's attention. Granted she'd heard about it on the news, but since she actually knew Quinn, she'd be able to learn more details. "When's the trial start?"

"March 17th. We already have our tickets booked to fly out to New York. We have to fly separately. Rachel still has filming for a day or so before she can come out with me. Then… once it's over were driving back with Brittany and Santana. I'm… in a way… looking forward to going. Just to see B and S again. Plus to see Jeff and Eileen along with their kids. I miss them."

Silence fell in the room again. Emily decided not to push about the trial. Over the past few weeks, she'd helped Quinn accept everything that had happened. "Alright Quinn…" she waited until the blonde looked up at her before continuing, "tell me about how things have been with Rachel."

Quinn froze. She'd been waiting for it to come up, but that didn't help her be prepared for it though. "I'm not sure what you mean." Absentmindedly, Quinn's fingers began to swirl her bracelet around her wrist. It had become a new habit of hers whenever she was nervous.

"Intimacy."

"Blunt aren't we?" She half-heartedly joked with the younger woman. Emily just smiled and nodded. "Still struggling. I know I want her. God do I want her… But… if she does anything more than run her fingers through my hair or down my back, I panic. I start to remember every time he touched me where she was. I've tried to push it away but I can't." She felt tears slide down her cheeks. This time, she didn't stop Rachel's outstretched hand as it wiped them away.

"What do you remember?" Emily knew she was walking a fine line with what Quinn would share in front of Rachel. But she was also aware that the more Quinn shared, the more Rachel would be able to understand and help her.

Quinn's eyes closed as she recalled the evens of their last encounter. "When she kissed here…" she gently touched her collar bone area, "the only thing I could think of was his lips… and his teeth digging into my skin because I didn't listen to him." Tears were now flowing freely down her cheeks. "When she touched me… All I could remember was the stubble on his cheeks as it brushed against my thighs. Rachel's touch was so soft… why couldn't I just focus on her? It was nothing like it was from him."

Rachel closed the gap between her and her wife before wrapping her arms around the taller figure. "I wish you'd told me." She whispered against Quinn's ear. It was the first time the brunette had spoken since entering the room.

"I didn't know how Rachel…I'm so sorry." Hazel eyes opened to meet Emily's. "Thank you." Emily smiled warmly at the pair – remaining quiet to allow them a moment to themselves. "I wanted to tell you." She whispered against Rachel's ear. "I wanted to tell you so badly baby. I just couldn't find the words."

"Maybe next time you can actually talk to me instead of just shutting me out?" Rachel pulled back some to look into Quinn's swollen eyes. The blonde just nodded her head in agreement. "Everything that's going on in your head, we can work through it together." She used her thumbs to wipe at the tears under Quinn's eyes before kissing her tenderly. "I'm not going anywhere baby, and however short or long this takes to get you back to 100 percent, I'm going to be here the whole time. No matter how long it takes okay?"

Quinn just nodded again – not trusting her own voice to speak right now. There was so much more she wanted to tell Rachel. She wanted to tell her about every moment of every day she was gone, but the words wouldn't come to her.

"Why don't we try something Quinn?" Emily's voice interrupted their moment together, drawing both of their attentions to her. "I've noticed that you struggle some to say things out loud. I want you to write a letter, whether it be to yourself, me, or Rachel. Explaining everything that's on your mind. Just write anything that pops into your mind. It doesn't have to be in any particular order." Quinn nodded. "I know it's going to be hard, but it's an exercise I've learned that helps people delve deeper into their suppressed memories. It helps my patients heal old, still open wounds. Writing them down on paper allows you to, in a way, relive the issue and work yourself through it. I'm hoping you'll get this done by the next time I see you. Nobody has to read the letter except you and I." Emily looked at Rachel, who's attention was wholly on her as she spoke. "I'm hoping that you'll respect that and not push her to let you read it."

"Of course not. If she wants me to read it, then I will, but if not then I'm perfectly fine with that."

"I'm starting my new job on Thursday, so I'll try to work on it before then." Quinn took several deep, calming breaths. She hoped she'd be able to actually write this letter out. In all actuality, she was scared to dive deeper into her mind to try to make sense of the things that were going on.

**_February 22 – 3:00 AM_**

Quinn glanced into the bedroom. Thankfully, her sudden upheaval didn't wake her wife. Ever since the session with Emily she'd been thinking about that letter she was suppose to write before the next visit. It was all she could think about. It was probably the cause of her violent nightmare and subsequent vomiting. Though the vomiting was mostly from the pregnancy, she knew that her nightmares helped to spark it too. After taking another moment to fix the blanket around Rachel's body she placed a gentle kiss to her forehead before leaving the bedroom. Her first stop was the kitchen to start coffee. While that brewed she popped two pieces of cinnamon bread into the toaster.

All the while her thoughts were running rampant. She found herself having a hard time focusing on any one task. The thought flashed across her mind that if she couldn't focus on things now, how would she be able to focus on her letter. Doing it now, while Rachel was asleep and thoughts were fresh in her mind would be her best bet. Being alone while writing it would hopefully allow her the concentration she needed to get it finished.

Quinn spread some apple jelly on the two pieces of cinnamon toast and poured herself a cup of coffee before making herself comfortable on the sofa. While idly eating one of the pieces of toast, she pulled a pen and notebook out of the end stand's drawer. She gripped the pen in her right hand as she tucked her legs under her to get completely comfortable to write. After tapping the pen on the paper for several long minutes, finishing her toast, and half her cup of coffee, she finally uncapped the pen and began writing anything that came to her mind.

_Dearest Rachel,_

_There are so many things I want to say to you but I don't know how to. I want you to help me through everything I'm dealing with but at the same time I don't want any help at all. It all confuses me. Like… keeping all of this bottled up inside is bad for me, I'm aware of that. But showing it and sharing it with others, to me, shows weakness. You of all people know how I was raised. My father taught me that people feed off of other people's weaknesses. He taught me that showing weakness is a sign of failure. He used to tell me "Quinn, you're a Fabray. The Fabrays don't cry, they don't show compassion, they do anything to be on top."_

_You also know what kind of a man he was. How he beat me, my mom, and Fran. I guess, in a way, he's the reason I have so many problems sharing things with you. My secrecy hasn't been recent, you know that. You know I've always struggled to tell you the true details of what's going on in my imagination._

_Recently though, it's become harder. I want to tell you all the things Jim did to me. I want to tell you how he used my body as his punching bag. How he would tease me with food after I'd gone two days without any. How he'd taunt me for being gay and being in love with a Broadway star. Who knows, maybe I'll find the courage to let you read this._

_Emily told me to do this. At first I was so scared and confused with why, but as I sit here… fighting tears, I'm realizing that in some strange fucked up way, it's helping. I want so badly to scream at the top of my lungs, but remain silent in the corner crying at the same time. I'm nothing but a huge mixture of emotions. Please don't worry though, everything's under control. Well, more so under control than a month ago when I found out I was pregnant. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you or Santana, or Brittany when you kept hinting about getting help to cope with all of these things in my head._

_The things he did to me Rachel, god… He bit me, he ripped chunks of skin out of my body with his twisted teeth. He would use rusted knives to cut into my body. He got off on hearing me scream. If I wasn't screaming in pain, he wasn't happy. If you were to look at my body and point at random scars that mar my skin, I could tell you exactly when and how I got it. Those ones on my back that you ran your fingers across, were from a whip. He pulled me to my feet by the shackles that were wrapped around my wrists. Every time I refused to call him my king, he cracked a paddle across my back. He didn't break me though. He'll NEVER be my king, or anybody's king for that matter._

_He broke me in so many ways Rachel. He made me question everything. Everything about life. Everything about love. And most of all, everything about you. I started to wonder things about life and death. I wondered why I was even living at all. Why was I still fighting for a life that I was so sure I was going to lose? The day I escaped… I begged him to just finish it off. To just kill me to stop my suffering. I was in so much pain Rachel. I don't even know how I walked so far in the freezing cold and the falling snow. Somewhere inside there must have been a small glimmer of hope that I could live. That I could see you again. That's why I ran. I had given up right before Sam found me. _

_I remember laying on the snow covered road, awaiting my sweet, sweet death. I no longer wiped the snow that covered my face or body. I had long stopped moving. I just laid there. On the road, waiting for the grim reaper. But he never came. Off in the distance I saw headlights of a truck. As it started to slow down, that's when I lost consciousness. I don't remember anything after that until I woke up in the hospital and the doctor explained everything to me. He told me about my near hypothermia, about all of my broken bones and sutured wounds. None of that mattered. Physical injuries heal, but it's the lifetime of memories that remain constant._

_Memories of his touch, his laugh, his voice, the foul smell on his breath, his rough hands, his strength… everything. I decided to let you read this letter, so I'm hoping, that when you do read this you won't judge me. You won't judge me for how I feel about anything. Rachel. I'm in love with you, for as far back as I can remember I've loved you. I don't know if I can be what you need me to be. _

_I'm nothing but a broken, battered woman now. Just a shadow of my former self. Yea, I can act like nothing ever happened, but just a small phrase, or a simple touch brings everything crashing back to reality for me. If you ever leave me, I'll understand why. I can't give you what you need, I don't know if I can be that loving, caring wife I once was to you. I don't look at you any differently than I did before. In a way, it's like when we first started dating, I look at you with apprehension – a constant fear that somehow I'll get hurt in the end. Now, after all these years of being with you, I know that's not going to happen, I know you'd never hurt me… but that doesn't stave off the possibility that I cling to in my mind._

_Emily had told me in our last session that I need to find a way for my conscious mind to bridge the gap with my unconscious mind. In my conscious mind, I'm aware of the fact that you'd never hurt me. In any way. But in the depths of my unconscious mind it remembers what happened, and hidden in there is the fear I hold on to that I will get hurt._

_I'm hoping this gives you some more understanding Rachel. Please remember that I love you. I always have, and I always will. I'm going to try harder to get better for you. I know I need to get back to normal in order to have any chance of keeping you. You say that you'll stick with me, no matter how long it takes. I hope that's true, I really do…_

_Yours,_

_Quinn_

The blonde wiped the tears from her eyes before she ripped the pages out of the notebook and folded them in half. Her shaky fingers pulled an envelope out of the drawer before sliding the papers into it. With her right hand, she carefully wrote 'To: Rachel' on the front of the envelope before tossing it onto the table beside her long forgotten, and now cold cup of coffee. She glanced at it for a moment – wondering if she was doing the right thing. Deep down she knew one of two things would happen. It would draw Rachel in closer to her, or push her away because of her doubt. A doubt that Jim planted in her mind.

Quinn pulled the throw blanket off of the back of the sofa before curling up with it. Her head rested against the corner of the armrest as her eyes closed. She silently prayed she'd still be asleep when Rachel found and read the letter in the morning.

**_February 22 – 7:45AM_**

"Quinn?" Rachel called out quietly when she was awoken by her alarm clock. Her hand stretched out to feel the spot her wife had fallen asleep in the night before. The sheets were cold to the touch. Quinn had been awake for a while now. A frown crept to her face as she shut the alarm off and climbed out of bed. She ran her fingers through her tousled hair as she walked out of the bedroom. A familiar stench of coffee filled her senses. Quinn had at least been awake long enough to finish coffee. She made her way into the kitchen to find the pot a little cold. "Quinn?" She called out again before continuing her search.

When she entered the living room she smiled softly. Her wife was curled up on the corner of the sofa, sound asleep. It wasn't the first time she'd found her that way. At least she no longer panicked about it. She knew there were nights when Quinn couldn't sleep. Rachel was thankful for the times she did find her asleep, whether it be in bed with her, or on the sofa like she was now. She reached out to pull the blanket up to cover Quinn's shoulders before she noticed it. Her head tilted to the side when she spotted the envelope sitting on the table addressed to her.

Her fingers gently wrapped around it as she picked it up. To make sure she didn't disturb Quinn she retreated back into the bedroom to pull the pages free of their confines. The more she read, the more she started to cry. Quinn had actually written the letter that Emily suggested. She'd even allowed her to read it. It was full of the things she'd been wanting to know, but Quinn would never speak out loud.

Now she understood.

Granted, she didn't understand everything. She knew there was more to everything, but it was a huge step. It showed Rachel just a small portion of what happened to her and how it made her feel inside. Quinn felt inadequate.

Rachel finished reading the letter and didn't hesitate to hurry back out into the living room. She no longer cared if she was late to the set, she needed just a few hours to hold her wife. Allowing the papers to fall back onto the coffee table where she'd originally found them, she lifted the side of the blanket closest to her and carefully pressed her body against Quinn's back. She had to show her that no matter what, she wasn't going to leave her.

"Hmm?" Quinn groaned out at the sudden body heat against her back.

"Shh, it's just me baby." She nuzzled the back of Quinn's neck.

"Okay." She sank further into Rachel's embrace before allowing herself to drift back to sleep.

Rachel sniffled some before placing a kiss against the back of Quinn's head. "I love you. Forever and always."

**_February 24 – 9:00AM_**

"Well, well, well. It's been a while since I've seen the suits." Rachel smiled before reaching out to fix the collar of Quinn's blazer. "They still take my breath away." Her hand reached up to cradle her wife's cheek before meeting her lips.

Quinn blushed under her wife's scrutiny. "Whatever you say honey." She couldn't stop herself from smiling though as she received kiss after kiss from the smaller brunette. "If you don't stop, I'm going to be late." She laughed softly.

"Alright, give me a call when you get off, let me know what you want for dinner." Quinn nodded. "I love you. Good luck."

"Love you too Rach." Quinn grabbed her purse, her briefcase and her car keys before leaving the house.

The drive to the office was fairly uneventful for her. Just a typical fair share of outraged drivers. It was something Quinn had gotten used to while living in New York for all those years. California drivers weren't really all that different. Several sighs escaped her lips every time she got cut off. Stress wasn't good for the baby and she preferred to keep herself stress free.

Starting a new job was bad enough. She always hated being the new person at anything. Her last job she held for over 14 years. She knew that experience alone helped her to land her new job. She could have gotten any legal job she pleased with the experience she had on her resume. After the incident though, she knew she could never go back into criminal law. It would be too much of a constant reminder of her past.

Quinn took a deep breath as she pulled into a parking spot outside of her new office. The only person she'd met so far was the head of the firm – a woman about her age named Stacey Jackson. She was nervous about starting her day. The only thing she hoped is that there wouldn't be very many men around her.

She climbed out of her SUV and proceeded to grab her purse and her briefcase out of the back seat. After a quick smoothing of her skirt and walked confidently toward the front door of the building.

"Good morning, you must be Quinn." A young female secretary smiled brightly at Quinn when she walked through the door. Once she received a nod of confirmation she stood from her desk. "Stacey is waiting for you. Follow me please."

The blonde felt relaxed from the minute she walked into the building. She saw a few people glance at her but they simply smiled before continuing on their own business. She spotted a few older men who politely nodded to her before turning their attention back to their phone calls. Perhaps the new job wouldn't be so bad.

"Good morning." Stacey smiled from her desk when Quinn entered her office. "Nice to see you're on time, that's always a huge plus in my book." She extended her hand to the blonde before her to shake. "Please, have a seat, we need to finish up the last of your paperwork today before I get you settled in your office."

"Alright." Quinn sat down in one of the oversized, plush chairs before setting her bags on the floor beside her feet.

"We discussed in our interview what kind of cases we deal with. I'm assuming you're alright with our civil rights cases." Quinn just laughed softly. "Mind if I ask what's so funny?"

"I've never had a problem with anything civil rights. It's how my career started." The blonde smiled before leaning closer to start filling out some of the paperwork she was handed. "Plus, I've been married to my high school sweetheart for almost 20 years."

Stacey smiled at her new co-worker. "So tell me about your high school sweetheart, and why being married to them has anything to do with civil rights."

"Her name's Rachel Berry-Fabray. She's not as widely known on this side of the country as she was in New York City." Quinn smiled again. She was proud of all of her wife's accomplishments. "That's why we ended up in Los Angeles, she landed a movie deal."

"I thought the last name sounded familiar, but I didn't want to make any assumptions. If you don't mind me asking, why don't you practice criminal law out here?"

Quinn froze. Her entire body locked up. Her hand even stopped in the middle of writing her own name. All because of a simple question. It was one she knew would eventually come up, but that didn't help her be prepared for it. "I decided to make a change…"

Stacey could sense the discomfort in Quinn's body language as well as her tone of voice. "I understand." She decided not to push the issue. Whatever reason her new lawyer had for changing her practice was none of her concern. "So, hopefully you'll feel comfortable here. Ninety percent of my attorneys and interns, are all gay. That includes myself, and now you."

"What about the ten percent that's not?"

"Those two people have close friends or family members that are and they're a huge supporter of rights for us." Stacey reached for the paperwork once Quinn finished filling it out. "Now let me show you to your office and we'll get you all settled in for the day."

Quinn smiled and nodded. She stood up – grabbing her purse and briefcase, before following Stacey out of her office and down the hallway. Still nobody appeared to be treating her any differently just because she was new.

She was going to like her new job.

**_February 24 – 4:30PM_**

"Yes Rachel, you're on the car's speaker." Quinn laughed softly at her wife's overprotective nature as she pulled into the driveway of their home.

_"I still don't like it when you call me while you're driving Quinn."_

"If it's any consolation, I just pulled into the driveway. Calm down." She smiled at the sigh she heard on the other end of the line. "Do you have any idea when you'll get out of there today?"

_"No clue."_

"Well…" Quinn disconnected her phone from the car and placed it to her ear as she climbed out of the driver's seat. "At least I know what I want for dinner."

_"And what's that?"_

The blonde trapped the phone between her ear and shoulder as she pulled the stack of mail out of the box, then opened the front door. Once inside she reclaimed her cell with her hand. "Chinese. We haven't had it since we moved here, and I've really been wanting it."

Rachel laughed softly. _"That does actually sound good. There's this little place I pass every day coming over here. I'll just stop there when I get out. You want your usual?"_

"You know Rach, that's sad. That simple question shows how much we ate out when our schedules were jammed packed in New York." Rachel's laughter grew more intense. "And yes, chicken lo-mein is what I'm wanting."

_"Alright, I'll see you when I get home. Do you need anything else?"_

"No. Have fun. Try not to let Jason drain you too much." They quickly said their goodbyes before Quinn placed her phone on the kitchen counter. She tossed the small stack of envelopes next to it and hummed to herself as she opened the fridge for a bottle of water. After opening it and taking a long drink she made her way back to the counter to sort out the mail. " Electric bill, cell bill..." She tossed them into the same pile, "advertisement…" She tossed that and the next one to the opposite side of the counter to be thrown in the recycle bin when she was done.

A slightly wrinkled envelope caught her attention. Her name was handwritten on the center of it, along with their New York address. Beside her name was a yellow 'change of address' sticker. None of that really mattered to her. The envelope itself frightened her, until she spotted the return address in the top left hand corner. There was no name, but a street address for San Diego, California caught her eye. Neither of them knew anybody in San Diego.

She found herself examining the envelope for another few moments before finally opening it and pulling out the few pages inside. When a picture of a young woman fell out from between the sheets of paper, Quinn was both intrigued, and confused.

Her brow furrowed as she picked up the picture of a woman with Rachel's skin tone and blonde hair. She started reading the letter – nearly dropping it in the process.

_Dear Quinn,_

_This letter has taken a lot of courage to write. To be honest, I've been wanting to write to you for a few years now. Mom and dad had always kept your contact information in case I wanted to do this. I really don't know how else to say this other than to just come right out with it. My name's Beth. I'm your daughter Quinn._

_Now, if you're still reading this, there are some things I'd like to say. The first time I asked me parents about you, I was 9 years old. That's why they showed me pictures of you. There were also some they had dug up from your wedding to Rachel. I was wondering, at the time, why there were so many pictures of you and her in the papers. But mom had explained it to me that you were a very important person in New York City and that Rachel was a star on Broadway._

_Years have passed since then and I've come to learn so much more. I know that Rachel's about to start a movie in Hollywood and you both are moving to California. I'm hoping this gets to you before you move. Because once you move I don't know if you'll get it at all, and the opportunity for you to know that I don't hate you._

_In reality I've looked up to you ever since I learned who you were when I was 9. I know it may sound odd because the only time I've ever met you was when I was born. I don't want to seem like a stalker. I'm more of an admirer. I admire everything you've done Quinn, the path you've taken in life, the obstacles you've overcome…_

_What really helped push me toward finally contacting you was hearing the horrible news about what happened right before Christmas. Hearing about something like that, reminded me that life is too short for regrets and had I not written this I would have had a lifetime full of unanswered questions._

_Let me start out by saying that I don't hate you. I know the story of why I was placed up for adoption. I know you were 16 when you had me and had no way of taking care of me. I can't even begin to imagine what kind of dilemma you were in. I'll never begin to understand how hard of a decision that was for you to be forced into making. And I respect you for that._

_I want to tell you a little more about myself. After my parents adopted me, I ended up growing up in Dayton. During high school dad got a promotion and we ended up having to move out here to California so he could work at his company's home office here in San Diego. After high school I did what a lot of my friends at the time did, took a year off. Now, I'm currently finishing up my Junior year at San Diego State where I'm majoring in Film and Television production._

_I'm happy with everything I'm doing, I feel like I'm one step closer to a dream. Especially now that I've finally gathered up the courage to write this to you. I'm hoping that maybe we could talk, I'll leave me phone number at the bottom. Or if you're not up for that then I will completely understand. I honestly don't even know if you've read this far. If you have, thanks. Just… thanks._

_-Beth_

**_February 24 – 5:30PM_**

Rachel hummed as she walked through the front door carrying her purse and a bag of take-out food. "Honey, I got out earlier than expected." Rachel called out after she kicked the door closed behind her. She shrugged when she didn't receive a response. Her assumption was that Quinn was either in the shower or taking a nap. But a small smile crept to her face when she walked into the kitchen to see the blonde still in her business suit, looking at something on the counter. "How was your first day?" She asked as she placed the bag down.

"F-fine."

It quickly became clear that something had happened. "Baby?" The brunette gently placed her hand on Quinn's shoulder. Just as soon as she did, the blonde spun around and threw herself into Rachel's arms. "What happened?"

After several minutes of Quinn releasing the tears she'd been holding in since she started reading and rereading the letter, she finally calmed enough to speak. "Sh-she doesn't… h-hate me."

Rachel was even more confused than she was five minutes ago. "Who doesn't hate you? Honey, talk to me."

Quinn picked up the pages and the photo before leading her wife into the living room. "Beth…" She spoke once they were both seated. When all she saw was more confusion plastered on her wife's face, Quinn handed her the letter. Rachel quickly skimmed it before looking at her wife, eyes wide with shock. "Read it." She encouraged before leaning back against the opposite arm rest and looking down at the picture of the woman. Of her daughter.

A few minutes passed before Rachel finally reached for Quinn's hand. "What are you going to do?"

"I really don't know. It's all just so random." Quinn's eyes never looked up from the photo.

"She's beautiful you know." The blonde nodded. "She looks just like you did at that age."

"But a little darker."

Rachel rested her head on her wife's shoulder. "This could be the only chance you have to make things right… To finally get some closure for having to give her up all those years ago." Quinn just nodded. "Hey… look at me." Quinn slowly locked eyes with her wife. Rachel took a moment to wipe at the tears that soaked the blonde's cheeks. "She doesn't hate you. She thanked you at the end of the letter."

"Thanked me for giving her away…" Quinn's heart broke at just the thought.

"No silly, she thanked you for giving her a chance at life." Again Quinn just nodded. "Talk to me honey."

"I really just need to think about it." Quinn kept her fingers wrapped tightly around the picture as she stood up and made her way into the kitchen. "I'm hungry."

Rachel sighed, she knew Quinn wasn't going to talk about it, at least not right now. She hated nothing more than not knowing what her wife was feeling or thinking. The brunette stood from the sofa, placed the letter on the coffee table and followed Quinn into the kitchen to get their own containers of food. It was going to be a long, peaceful night with Quinn not talking.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Sorry if the ending feels a little rushed. I don't particularly care for it. Jennception said it looks good. So...yea.<em>**

**_on't forget those review buttons :D  
><em>**


	23. Chapter 22

**_READ THIS!... Please?  
><em>**

**_Okay, I don't know how to explain how sorry I am, but on the flip side of that, I warned everybody last chapter about the delay. With the new promotion at work, my birthday was this past weekend, stress over some bills... and I got a new bombshell dropped on me on Friday... My grandfather has oral cancer. We don't know how bad it is yet, or if it's spread to any other parts of his body like his throat or up into his brain, but still... My grandmother's pissed because he's still smoking. But my grandfather's almost 79 years old, he served in Korea... let the man smoke if he wants to smoke damn it._**

**_Anyway... I don't know when the next chapter will be up for you all to read. _**

**_And let me just warn you too, this isn't beta'd, I literally finished the chapter like 5 minutes ago. I wanted to get this up for everybody to read. Next chapter will be posted whenever it's finished, I promise. I'm predicting this story to be approximately 40 chapters. I have it planned out right now through chapter 33 I believe. There will start to be some more distance between the dated scenes in each chapter, or between chapters I should say, because I really don't think you want to read a scene from every day Quinn's pregnant. That would be boring, and it would have a lot of the same things in it._**

**_One last thing. People haven't been voting for the gender of the child. Is it safe for me to go ahead and announce it'll be a girl? Since the last time I counted, girl was winning by a landslide._**

**_Enjoy the chapter!_**

**_Forgot to post in the last chapter, Thank you to olacindy for the idea for Beth being introduced into the story._**

**_One more thing, then I'll be done rambling. Apparently fanfiction decided to change a lot of my settings on me, so if anybody had been trying to PM me for whatever reason and couldn't... that's why. I just noticed that the messaging was disabled. So if you tried to send me a message, now you can send it lol  
><em>**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Chapter 22_**

**_March 1 – 1:25AM_**

_"Ignore it." She whimpered. The pressure in her lower abdomen was too much for her to handle. Her body felt as if it was going to explode at just the simplest of touches. A touch she'd been craving for weeks. Nothing would get in her way of getting what she so desired._

_"But what's that noise?" Rachel giggled as she kissed her way back up Quinn's stomach, then chest._

_"Baby, don't stop." The blonde whimpered again. She was trying to ignore the grumbling in the pit of her stomach. "I need you."_

_Rachel placed her hand on Quinn's stomach as it started expanding. "You need to feed our baby Quinn. Wake up."_

_The blonde shook her head, she refused to give in to what her body craved, she just knew what she craved, and it currently wasn't food. It was Rachel's tongue inside of her. "I don't want to."_

_The brunette continued to caress the swollen skin on Quinn's lower abdomen. "If you don't feed that child I'm not going to finish."_

_Quinn pouted before trying to reach down to rub herself. Sadly, her baby bump got in the way and she wasn't able to reach much past the top of her own thigh. "Please."_

_"As much as I love hearing you beg, it's not going to work."_

Quinn let out a whimper as she rolled from her side onto her back. It was such a nice dream too. She tried to force herself back to sleep but the constant growling and rumbling in her stomach was too much. "Rach…" She never opened her eyes as she reached over to shake her wife gently. "Baby?" She called out again after receiving no answer.

"Hmm?" The brunette shifted to face her wife before her eyes slowly fluttered open. "What's wrong honey?" Her voice was deeper than usual – thick with sleep that she was now being deprived of.

Quinn bit her lip, she hated asking for help. She hated asking for anything, but she knew she should. She wanted to include Rachel in every step of this pregnancy. "I'm hungry…" She spoke sheepishly.

Rachel couldn't stop herself from laughing softly as she started to sit up. "That's all?" Quinn nodded before biting her lower lip again. "Well, what do you want?"

Now Quinn was embarrassed, she knew what she had a taste for, but was too afraid that Rachel would laugh at her for it. "Pickles…" it was so cliché. A pregnant woman asking for pickles.

"Anything else?" Rachel was already sliding on her robe.

"Chocolate milk maybe?" Quinn's timid voice only drew more laughter from the brunette. "Glad you find this so damn funny."

"I'm not laughing at you honey. I swear."

Quinn pouted. "This isn't easy Rach."

The brunette cupped Quinn's cheek before placing a tender kiss to her lips. "I know it's not easy sweetheart. But, I'm here for you every step of the way."

After a moment of silence, Quinn allowed herself a small smile. "Can I have some peanut butter too?"

"So… pickles, chocolate milk and… peanut butter?" Rachel's eyebrows shot up at the mere thought of the combination. A smile crept to her face when Quinn's eyes lit up with excitement. "Okay, but you're not kissing me after eating all of that."

"But it'll be so good." Quinn could feel her mouth begin to water.

"Whatever you say. I'll be back in a few minutes." Rachel stole another kiss before she walked out of their bedroom.

The blonde smiled to herself as she sank back into her pillows. Oh how she wished she had someone to deal with her cravings when she was pregnant before. She began to think back to all the times she woke up in Mercedes' basement at three or four in the morning. The first time she simply tried to ignore the grumbling in her stomach. It could easily wait until breakfast. Or so she thought. The longer she remembered laying in bed, the louder she remembered the noises getting. Until finally, she had made her way to the kitchen.

Quinn gently covered her mouth to gasp as it dawned on her. It was the same. That first morning at Mercedes' house when she gave into her cravings, she had four pickles dipped in peanut butter, with a tall glass of chocolate milk. The craving was identical. Everything about this pregnancy seemed to be the exact same as with Beth. She remembered hearing women talk about pregnancies while she was going to her various appointments. It seemed to be a steady tread of coincidences that the gender of the baby determined the symptoms. Deep down, Quinn knew there wasn't much proof to that, but it gave her a little bit of hope that she might just be having a girl.

A smile dared to break out on her face as her fingers began caressing the skin of her lower abdomen. Her and Rachel would finally have the child they'd desired for years.

Quinn paused for a minute to let her thoughts wander. What if she'd never gotten pregnant in high school? Would her and Rachel had ever started talking? If she'd had the courage to talk to Rachel sooner, would she have still slept with Puck to try to make herself straight? The biggest question of all lingered in the back of her mind though. Would Beth be happy if Quinn never gave her away? In her letter, Beth explained how she was happy. She'd even said 'thanks.' Rachel insisted it was a thanks for a chance at life. But Quinn still had this doubt in her mind about the true meaning of Beth's words. The only way she'd find out though, would be to talk to her. But that thought scared her. She had no idea what she'd say to her. She had no idea what Beth might say to her either. Based on the letter though, it seemed as if she wanted to establish some kind of relationship with Quinn. With her birth mother. It was decided at that point… Quinn was going to call Beth.

**_March 3 – 8:00AM_**

"Well isn't this a surprise?" Emily smiled softly when she popped her head through the doorway. "Come on back Rachel." She clutched a folder to her chest as the older brunette made her way past her and down the hallway. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Rachel though, didn't speak until she was safely in Emily's closed office. "I don't know what to do!" Rachel's exasperated voice filled the room. "Everything I try, fails."

"What do you mean?"

"Everything with Quinn. It's like one step forward and two steps back with her."

Emily began making notes. "What exactly do you mean?"

The older brunette let out a heavy sigh. "She's been great lately. Her morning sickness is nearly gone. She's started her new job and she's surrounded by people who don't judge her. They accepted her into their little 'family' almost immediately. I suppose all of them are aware of what happened to her. But I know she was afraid. Since the incident had become national news and everything." Rachel took a moment to recapture her own thoughts before speaking again. "But when it's just her and I… I don't know what to do."

"When you say 'just her and I, do you mean intimately?"

"Quinn's still having problems every time I touch her. She hardly ever lets me see her naked. I feel like we're right back at the beginning of our relationship. All I'm seeing is the same self-conscious Quinn from 22 years ago. The same girl who didn't have an ounce of fat on her but hated her body. Every time I tell her about how beautiful she is, she just smiles softly and says 'if you say so.' I'm being patient with her, I know everything will take time, but lately it's felt like we've been going backwards."

"You know I can't discuss much about my sessions with your wife. That's her responsibility to share what she wants to." Rachel nodded. It was something she already knew. "But I can tell you that Quinn is terrified. She told me that she let you read her letter. So you already know what I'm about to say. Quinn is a broken woman. She fears she'll never get better and that you'll leave her because of that. You say you're being patient with her, but what would she think if she knew you were here with me right now?" The expression on Rachel's face spoke volumes to Emily. "She would probably think that she's not enough for you. She would feel weak. Quinn would think that you seeking help is a sign that you're starting to give up on her. Or a sign that you want to push her into something that she's not ready for yet."

Rachel remained quiet for several minutes after that while she thought. She thought about what Emily said. It had never occurred to her that if Quinn knew of her seeking help, she'd get upset. That was the last thing she wanted. She didn't want her actions to push Quinn further away. In reality, all she wanted was to bring her closer. "What do you suggest I do?"

Emily laughed softly. It was common for her patients to ask for some type of advice. "I can't tell you what you can and cannot do Rachel. Each situation is different. Quinn's got a lot on her shoulders right now so that undoubtedly is just adding to her emotional stress. She's handling things her own way right now."

Rachel simply nodded. Everything Emily was saying was true. It all made sense to her. But deep down, Rachel knew all of it already. She just didn't want to really admit it. She wanted to be the one to fix her wife, but in reality, the only person who could fix Quinn… was Quinn. Even after all this time, she just wanted things back to normal. Things were frustrating. Granted, it had only been three months since the incident, but Rachel missed everything about her old Quinn.

"If I hadn't have forgotten my book all those years ago, I don't know if any of this would have happened."

The small, random statement made Emily laugh. She'd already known about how Quinn and Rachel got together from her sessions with the blonde.

**_October 10, 2010_**

_It was completely unlike her to forget something. She attributed it to the fact that Coach Beiste made her run an extra lap for voicing her opinion. That sparked a chain of events which caused her to run out of the locker room in order for her not to be late for class. Now, as she was packing up her back to go home, she realized her math book was still in her gym locker._

_"Fuck."_

_She heard the voice, followed by a breathy moan coming from the locker room. A room she'd thought to be empty. Rachel carefully pushed the door open. Her curiosity had gotten the better of her. What, or better, who was making that noise?_

_"Fuck, don't stop. I'm right there!"_

_Rachel peeked around the last row of lockers to see Quinn laying on her back on the bench. Hovering above her was Brittany. Nestled between her naked legs was Santana. She knew she should turn away, to give them some kind of privacy. But the entire scene was too erotic for her to turn away. Especially when Brittany would kiss Quinn, or Quinn's back would arch up off of the bench._

_The brunette watched as Santana's mouth worked Quinn over the edge. What caught her attention was the sound of her own name leaving Quinn's mouth._

_"When are you going to tell her?" Brittany helped her friend get her shirt back on._

_Santana smirked as she moved to sit beside Quinn on the bench. "Yea, seriously Q. As how as this is, I really don't like hearing someone else's name. It like… deflates my ego and shit."_

_"I can't tell her Santana." Quinn's voice cracked at the admission. "I'm too scared."_

_"Quinn?" Rachel finally decided to make her presence known._

_Quinn's eyes shot open and she stared blankly at the brunette before her. She couldn't say anything. How could she? She didn't know how long Rachel had actually been there, or how much she'd heard, and honestly… she didn't want to stick around to find out. She grabbed her discarded Cheerios bag from the floor and bolted from the locker room as fast as her legs would carry her._

_"Quinn wait!"_

**_March 5 – 4:30PM_**

Work was just another day for her. She was already starting to fall into the routine of the new law firm she worked for. The people were so helpful to her. Nobody looked at her oddly or doubted her abilities whenever she asked a question or had a concern. But what she wasn't quite used to yet, was being home before Rachel. Quinn wasn't used to actually having an 8-4 job. She was used to being at the office until she was done. Sometimes staying there until 8 or 9 o'clock at night.

But none of that mattered right now as she sat on the sofa staring at her phone. Beth's number had been typed into it for nearly five minutes. Why was it so hard to hit call? Quinn hadn't felt such a fear in months. This fear was different. It wasn't a fear of her life. No, it was a fear of rejection. There was no way of knowing how the phone call would go.

"Do or die Quinn." She gave herself a small pep talk before hitting the call button.

_"Hello?"_ A soft voice filled Quinn's ear after the third ring.

The blonde's breath caught in her throat. "B-Beth?"

_"Yea, this is her."_ Quinn couldn't find words to speak. She'd finally heard her daughter's voice and was in awe over it. _"Hello?"_ Quinn still couldn't find her voice. _"Is… this Quinn?"_

"Yea." The attorney was able to find a small amount of her voice.

_"You got my letter then?"_

Quinn relaxed slightly back against the sofa cushions. "I got it a few days ago."

Beth's soft laughter came through the phone. _"I sent it back in January."_

"To my New York address." Quinn added softly. "It had to be forwarded back across the country. Rach and I are in LA now."

_"Post office sucks, huh?"_

Now it was Quinn's turn for a small bit of laughter. She was making small talk with her daughter. A woman who was basically a stranger to Quinn. The small talk though, was helping to ease all the tension that Quinn felt. She was sure that Beth was feeling it as well. "But I still got it. That's all that matters."

There were a few seconds of silence before Beth spoke again. _"I'm really glad you called me Quinn."_

"I'm sure you have a lot of questions for me." Quinn tried to prepare herself for the inevitable. She'd been expecting the worse. Ever since deciding she'd call Beth, she'd been attempting to run through all possible scenarios in her mind. But even with all that preparation, it was nothing compared to the real thing.

_"I do… but it's nothing like you're thinking though. All of that can be dealt with later. If that's alright with you."_

The older woman let out a relieved sigh. "That's what I was hoping you'd say."

_"No need to stress out. Sure you've got a lot on your mind with the trial."_ All Beth got in response was a sharp intake of air. _"I didn't mean… oh my god I'm so sorry Quinn."_

Beth's panicked voice aided in calming the attorney some. "It's alright. Really, it is. There's just times I forget that it's national news."

_"Just comes with being married to an upcoming Hollywood star huh?"_ Quinn just laughed softly at the remark. _"How long have you and Rachel been married anyway?"_

"18 years in July. It still feels like yesterday when she proposed to me because she got tired of waiting." Another soft laugh echoed through the phone's receiver. The sound made Quinn smile. She wasn't as nervous as she was when the whole conversation started. "When I was preparing myself for this phone call, I actually wasn't expecting so much laughter."

_"That's how you ease the tension. It helps make it a little less awkward."_

"It's still awkward as hell though. Talking to you. I never thought I'd have this opportunity again." Quinn paused for a moment to think of her last session with Emily, when she'd told the woman she planned to call her daughter. Emily told her a lot of the same. That she should try to keep the conversation light for a while, to ease into the harder topics. Which were bound to come eventually. "So you grew up in Dayton?"

_"Yea, I really hated it there. I couldn't imagine how you and Rachel handled living in Lima. I had visited there a couple of times with my parents when I was a kid, and that place was so small. It was like farm country."_

"That's why when we moved to New York, we stayed there. We only ever went home for major holidays and random family gatherings. We've been a part of big cities for 20 years now."

_"I do know what you mean. Dad got a promotion and had to move all of us to San Diego during my sophomore year in high school. It was kind of bitter sweet. I didn't want to leave all of my friends, but I didn't want to stay in Dayton either. But once we got here and everything settled, I knew this was where I belonged."_

Quinn couldn't help but agree with the young woman. She knew she never really belonged in a small town like Lima. It wasn't in her. When the glee club had gone to New York City for Nationals her Junior year, she knew that was where she belonged. It was where her and Rachel belonged. It even ended up being where they spent 20 years of their lives before relocating. "You know… you can ask me what I know you want to." There wasn't going to be any better time to get the hard questions out of the way.

Beth sighed softly. _"Like I said in my letter, I don't hate you. I can't even begin to imagine what that kind of decision did to you emotionally… I guess… what I want to ask… is why?"_

"Why did I get pregnant? Or why did I give you away?"

_"I think I can figure out the why you got pregnant part Quinn_." Beth laughed, drawing even more from Quinn.

"I see you've got a sense of humor. How about this… I answer both of them for you."

_"Ok, but like I said, I know the pregnancy part."_ She giggled again for a moment before calming down to let her biological mother speak.

"The man who is your father, his name's Noah Puckerman. I'm not sure if you know that. He's Jewish, and was in the same grade as Rachel and I. It was my sophomore year of high school. I was 15 years old when I started having these… feelings." Quinn paused for a moment, allowing her eyes to close to think back to why exactly she did sleep with Puck. "I started having attractions to Rachel. But living in a town like Lima and coming from a highly religious, conservative family like I did, that was unacceptable. There was one night, Puck had a party at his house. He kept offering me wine coolers, and I kept taking them. I wanted those feelings for Rachel to vanish, there was a rather attractive man who was interested in me. So I kept drinking, trying to drown away my unnatural thoughts… I had to be completely drunk to even stomach the idea of him touching me. I slept with him in some twisted attempt to prove to myself that my feelings for Rachel were just a phase and that I was still straight as an arrow Quinn."

_"And that backfired apparently?"_ Beth threw in, showing she was paying attention.

Quinn chuckled dryly. "Yes, it did. Big time. Which led to a huge confrontation between my then boyfriend Finn-"

Beth's laughter cut her off. _"Hold up, you dated a guy named Finn? Like shark 'fin,' dolphin 'fin,' etc? Who in their right mind names a child Finn?"_

The younger woman's laughter became contagious, soon Quinn was joining her at laughing at the name. "I never really looked at it like that before. He did have an odd name didn't he?" Beth made a soft sound of agreement before Quinn continued. "I dated Finn to keep my image. I was head cheerleader and he was captain of the football team. It was typical for that pairing to date. I was able to convince Finn that you… were his. Even though him and I had never slept together."

_"Oh this just keeps getting better. You didn't actually see anything in that guy did you?"_

"No, trust me, it was all for my image. He was dumber than a sack of potatoes." Quinn's eyes opened when she heard the front door open. She peeked over her shoulder and smiled when she saw Rachel shrugging off her jacket and kicking off her shoes. "Hold on a second."

_"Sure."_

Quinn pulled the phone away from her ear before she stood up to greet Rachel. "Hey, how was the shoot today?"

Rachel scoffed. "I hate Jason. But I'm sure you're well aware of that by now. He kept making faces at me during a scene, then insisted on telling me that my laughter didn't sound real enough. Can you believe that!"

The blonde grabbed Rachel's hip before she could make her way into the kitchen. She pulled their bodies flush against one another to give her a lingering kiss. "Can you get us pizza for dinner?" Rachel's eyebrows rose in mild shock, but before she could get her question out, Quinn held up her phone, showing it was connected to a call. "Please?"

"Is that…?" Rachel trailed off as she pointed to the phone. Quinn nodded, confirming her suspicions. "Alright, I'll be back in a little while." Rachel stole another kiss before heading back toward the door to grab her purse, jacket, and slide on her shoes. "Love you!"

"I love you too Rach." Quinn called back just as the front door closed. She let out a heavy sigh, knowing she'd have to thank Rachel later for leaving her alone with her conversation. "Sorry about that, I'm back." She spoke into the phone once it was back up to her ear.

_"It's fine, so that was Rachel huh?"_

"Sure was."

_"And you kicked her out just to keep talking to me?"_

"No! I mean… maybe? Yes? I was hungry?"

Beth let out another loud laugh at Quinn's attempt to cover up the truth. _"It's fine. I'm just picking. She seems nice."_

A fresh smile overtook Quinn's face. "She's amazing… Now, where was I with my story?"

_"Finn was dumber than a sack of potatoes."_

"Ah yes. I was able to convince him that he got me pregnant in the hot tub. When I was about 3 months along, Finn decided it would be a great idea to announce it to my parents that I was pregnant. They gave me an hour to pack my things and get out of their house. But that's a story for another time." Quinn left no room for discussion on that one, she really didn't wish to talk about her parents and the rocky relationship she had with them for years.

_"How did Finn find out he wasn't my father?"_

"That was actually Rachel's doing. She did what I didn't have the courage to do. She told Finn the truth about what happened between Puck and I. At first I wanted to hate Rachel, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't. I admired her for being able to tell the truth when all I could do was get lost in a web of lies."

_"In a way, I can understand being scared to tell the truth after you're in so deep in something like that."_

"Yea… After that I ended up bouncing around between a few of my friend's houses. Near the end of my pregnancy, I actually ended up staying at Rachel's with her and her dads. That's how our friendship actually started to form and grow strong. I still couldn't tell her how I felt though, because I still hadn't fully accepted it." Quinn paused to gather her thoughts again. "Explaining why I gave you away is actually a little bit easier than the story as to why I got pregnant."

_"Alright, I'm all ears."_

"I was a 16 year old girl Beth. I was a girl who was bouncing around from house to house, with no job, no car, no insurance. I had nothing during my pregnancy with you. I barely had food in my stomach and a roof over my head. I didn't want that for you. It was the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my entire life. But, if I had to do it all over again and the circumstances were still the same, it's the same choice I'd make every single time." Quinn felt a tear roll down her cheek at the memories of her sleepless nights. "I wanted you to have a life with a loving family. Not a broken one like mine was. I wanted you to have a chance to truly experience life, instead of struggling through everything which I know I would have. Puck and I gave you life, but we're not your family. We both decided to give you up for adoption. We both knew we couldn't give you the life you deserved. It was such a hard decision Beth. And I hope you're never faced with having to make a choice like that. Let alone twice."

_"What do you mean twice?"_

"Don't worry about that right now…" Quinn silently cursed at herself for letting it slip out like it did.

_"Alright. Hey… I really hate to cut this short, because I'd love to talk to you more Quinn, but I have a class in 20 minutes that I have to get to."_

"Oh I remember having a tight class schedule. Been there, done that. Spent 6 years in law school."

_"Maybe we could talk again… like this weekend?"_

The hopefulness in Beth's voice was evident to Quinn. It even caused her to smile. This wouldn't be the one and only time she'd ever talk to her daughter. "I'd like that. Just call me or text me. Whichever you prefer."

_"That sounds good. Thank you for calling Quinn."_

"Anytime." Quinn let out a shaky breath before continuing. "Enjoy your class Beth."

It was the last thing either of them said before the call was disconnected. It was at that moment though that all of Quinn's emotions caught up with her and she slumped over crying. Her phone remained tightly gripped in her hands as all of her emotion escaped through her eyes. It felt as though this was the last thing she needed for her life to feel complete. This… connection with her long lost daughter. A connection she was finally able to get back. Suddenly, Quinn was looking forward to the weekend, not just because of Rachel having off, but also because she'd get to talk to her daughter again. Only the next conversation, Rachel would be included. She wasn't sure she could do it again without any kind of support, because right now, all she wanted was the comfort of her wife's embrace.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Don't forget to hit that little review button at the bottom and say a few kind words :D<br>_**


	24. Chapter 23

**_So... how has everybody been? I've been better. To say the least. Just the typical adult stuff, lost of financial issues and whatnot._**

**_Anyway, enough about me. Tell me something, did anybody else cry after "On My Way" aired? Or was I the only one? Even if I was, so what._**

**_I'm trying to push the chapters out and I'm starting to feel like they're losing quality... I really hope that's not the case. _**

**_This isn't beta'd as I wanted to get it out to you guys ASAP. So all mistakes are my own and nobody elses. I'm going to start work on 24. Chapter 24...is the first part of the trial. Chapter 25 will be emotionally draining, as it'll be Quinn's testimony and you guys will FINALLY find out all of the pain and suffering she endured. Then... once that's past I'll be able to skip some time to get this baby here :D_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<em>**

**_Chapter 23_**

**_March 13 – 5:20AM_**

"I always hated flying." Quinn kept her arms around Rachel's waist.

"I know. But I also know you'll sleep for most of it. You always sleep on the plane. It's only a six hour flight honey. Then you get to see Brittany and Santana again." She knew the mention of their friends would help her wife relax some.

The trial was in four days. Four short days before she'd be faced with her attacker once more. To make matters just a bit worse, it was being held in the same courtroom in which she met him ten years ago. "I wish you could come with me." Quinn rested her forehead against the shorter woman's – allowing her eyes to close as she savored the last few moments of contact with her wife before two days apart.

"I am coming with you, just not at the same time." Rachel tilted her head up slightly to place a lingering kiss on her wife's lips. "You need to get going. You still have to get through security and your plane leaves in 40 minutes."

"I… really don't want to go."

"Sweetie, you're starting to sound like a little kid who doesn't want to go to school in the morning."

The blonde just pouted at her wife. Usually her pouts would work, but this time, she wasn't so lucky as Rachel just glared at her. "Alright, fine! I'm going." She smiled softly before kissing her wife one more time. "I promise to call as soon as I can turn my phone back on." The brunette nodded and stole one more kiss and a lingering hug before pulling apart. "I love you Rach."

"I love you too Quinn." Rachel stayed near the gate, watching her wife as she made her way through the line of people. She rested her hands on the divider, her eyes never leaving her until she was out of sight. After letting out a heavy sigh, Rachel pushed herself upright and began the walk back to the garage where the car was parked. She honestly worried about Quinn. More so than she'd ever lead on. On most nights when her wife would wake up crying, Rachel woke up with her but never said a word. The actress figured that if Quinn needed her, she'd wake her up.

As much as it pained Rachel that Quinn never directly woke her up, she knew the broken woman needed time to heal. Things had progressed so smoothly over the past few days. Which had Rachel wondering if all that hard work was dangerously close to tumbling. Especially with the trial in a few short days.

Buying the plane tickets was like the icing on the cake for the entire situation. It was all becoming real. It wasn't just something that was talked about between them. No. Actually planning the trip back to the big apple cemented everything in place.

Rachel just hoped Quinn could pull through all of it in the end.

**_March 13 – 2:30PM_**

"I don't like airports." Brittany stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Santana idly sipped her Starbucks coffee. Most of the things her wife said over the years just rolled off her shoulders. "Why not B?"

"Because. Look at all those people who have to say goodbyes to the people they love. It's so sad." Brittany pouted as she watched people near the gate hugging for what felt like forever.

"Yea, but look at all the people who get to see the people they love." Santana tilted her head toward a soldier who'd just come through the terminal to be greeted with his wife and daughter.

Brittany's eyes followed the direction Santana was motioning toward and couldn't help the huge smile that covered her face. Sadly, it only lasted for a minute before it turned back to a frown. "But what about when he has to go back?"

The Latina sighed. "Why don't we just think that he's home for good and he doesn't have to leave his family anymore?"

"But we don't know that San."

"Can't we pretend? Today's suppose to be a happy day." She lifted her cup to her lips as her eyes landed on another pair of people. It was a businessman, yapping away on his cell phone, until another man came into view with a bouquet of flowers. She smiled softly as the man in the suit immediately ended his call to hug the flower man. "There ya go B. Look at them."

"Aw, that's so sweet." Brittany rested her head briefly on Santana's shoulder. It only lasted for a minute before she shot straight up and glared at her wife. "Why don't you ever get me flowers?"

The Latina rolled her eyes playfully. "Because you're even more allergic then Quinn is."

"Oh yeah… I miss Quinn."

A fresh smile overtook her face at the blonde's randomness. Some days were like an emotional roller coaster with Brittany. She could easily go from crying to bouncing off the walls in the matter of seconds. And today… seemed like one of those days. "Q should be getting here soon." She paused to check her watch, then tilted forward to look at the board that was near them. "Says her flight's landing. I say another 20 minutes and she'll be at the gate."

"Good, because I don't want to look at people anymore."

"Why?"

Brittany's eyes became locked with a woman with an obviously fake tan. "Because she looks like an Oompa Loompa."

Santana's hand flew up to cover her mouth as she nearly choked on her coffee. "Oh my god…" She coughed a few times to finish clearing her throat. "I love you Britt."

The blonde turned to her wife with a confused look on her face. She never really did understand why Santana laughed at a lot of the things she said. The woman really did remind her of an Oompa Loompa. "Do you think if I go talk to her she'd let me in the chocolate factory? Even if I don't have a golden ticket."

Santana never had the heart to tell Brittany that there was no such thing as Willy Wonka and that it was all just a movie. "I don't think so Britt, I think they're pretty much on lock down."

"Oh darn." Brittany's arms folded over her chest as she leaned against the back of the bench they were both seated on. "I want some candy now though."

"I'll get you some on the way home."

"Can I have nerds?"

"Nerds don't actually make you a nerd B."

Again the blonde just pouted. "Darn."

"I'll still get you candy though."

Brittany wrapped her arms around the smaller woman's shoulders and hugged her tightly. "Can we get some for Quinn too?"

"Mmhm." Santana glanced up at the board to check the status of the flight. Sadly, it still wasn't at the gate yet.

"What do you think her and the baby would want?" Brittany allowed her head to rest against her wife's.

Santana pulled back some to give her wife a sideways glance. They hadn't mentioned much about Quinn's pregnancy since they'd found out, so to hear Brittany talk about it like it was the most natural thing in the world threw her for a loop. "We'll ask her when she gets here."

"Where is she?"

"Stuck in a plane on the tarmac."

"Can we get McDonald's too San? I want a Big Mac now."

Santana's eyes closed for a brief moment before she rested her head against the side of Brittany's again. "Hey B?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you remember your medicine this morning?"

Brittany thought for a minute. That was all Santana needed to confirm her suspicions. "I don't remember."

Santana tilted her head to the side to place a gentle kiss on Brittany's lips. "It's okay. I forgot to remind you."

_"Now arriving at Gate 4. Flight 1794 from Los Angeles, California."_

* * *

><p><em>"At this time we would like to thank you for flying United Airways and have a great day."<em>

Quinn let out a heavy breath but made no attempt to move out of her seat right away. She simply pulled her phone from her pocket to turn it back on. Once it booted and connected to a signal, she saw two new text messages.

_Beth: I know the trial's in a few days and I remembered you saying you were flying back to NYC today. Just wanted to wish you luck_

Quinn smiled softly at the message from her daughter. She tilted her phone to the side to open up the full keyboard and replied with a simple 'thanks.' Once that message was sent she opened the other one – from Rachel.

_Rachel: I know you're in the air right now. I just wanted to tell you that I made it home okay. It already feels weird that you're not here with me getting ready for work. But it's only two days apart. I think we can handle it, right? Will you tell Santana and Brittany hi for me, and give them a hug and kiss? Call me when you can. I love you so much._

Instead of replying with a text, Quinn waited until she was halfway down the tunnel toward the terminal before dialing Rachel's number.

_"Hey honey."_ Rachel's voice chirped through the phone after the second ring.

"We just landed. Well, not just, but I'm in the tunnel right now."

_"How was the flight? Did you sleep any?"_

The blonde fixed her purse on her shoulder as she stepped out of the main line of people to have her conversation. She didn't like to feel rushed, and flying always made her feel that way. All she wanted was to take her time, it felt weird to her to be back in New York again. "I tried, the guy beside me was snoring louder than a chainsaw so I just played games on my phone."

_"Were you playing Angry Birds all flight?"_ Rachel's laughter soon became contagious and Quinn couldn't keep herself from joining in. _"I'll take that as a yes. I don't see what the big deal is about that game."_

"It's addicting, that's what the big deal about it is." Quinn glanced up just in time to see a taller blonde barreling toward her with a huge smile on her face.

"Quinn!"

Quinn barely had a chance to brace herself before Brittany nearly tackled her with a hug. "Hey B." The shorter blonde instantly relaxed against the body of one of her best friends. "Rach… I'll call you back okay?"

_"Sure, I love you."_

"I love you too. Bye." Quinn ended the call and slid her phone into her pocket so she could properly wrap her arms around Brittany's waist. "God, I missed you guys." Her eyes closed as soon as she felt Santana's arms slide around her as well.

Brittany pulled away first, allowing Quinn to turn to give Santana a true hug. "Hey Q." Santana whispered into her dear friend's ear.

"Hey S." Quinn whispered back for a moment before placing a gentle kiss to the Latina's cheek. After a few short moments, they parted and Quinn shifted closer to Brittany to place a similar kiss on her cheek. "Was told by Rachel to hug and kiss you guys for her."

"Oh, like you wouldn't want all up on this on your own." Santana smirked at the shocked look that overtook her friend's face. "You know you want it." She nudged Quinn gently before starting to head toward baggage claim.

"Oh screw you."

"If you want to."

"Can I watch?" A million watt smile quickly became plastered to Brittany's face at the thought.

Quinn just laughed softly before rolling her eyes at her friends. "Can we just get my bags and go? I'm hungry."

Brittany looped her arm with Quinn's as they waited for her luggage to be unloaded from the plane. She proceeded to tell Quinn about her and Santana watching the people in the airport. She also talked to her for a solid five minutes about the pros and cons of eating McDonald's while pregnant. Needless to say, there weren't many cons.

Quinn really did miss her friends.

**_March 14 – 8:30AM_**

"Are you ready for this?"

Quinn didn't answer as she followed Santana into the office building. It was the first time she was in there since the day she disappeared. She wasn't ready. Well, she was, until she saw the building come into view and Santana parked in her parking space in the garage. Her entire body tensed when she felt Santana place a hand on her lower back. It was just the two of them that morning, Brittany had a rehearsal that she couldn't get out of. Her head turned to look at her friend before giving her a shy smile.

"Are you okay?" Santana continued to pry. Still, she received no response from the blonde. "Look, you know it'll be just you and Sarah in that room. Unless you want me in there too." Quinn shook her head. She felt ashamed over what happened to her. She didn't want to talk about it but she knew deep down, she just had to. She had to tell Sarah everything that happened.

"I'll be fine." She took a deep breath before walking into the conference room. She smiled softly when she saw Sarah sitting at the far end with papers scattered around her.

"Hey… look at me." Santana carefully gripped her friend's cheeks, forcing their eyes to meet. "She's not going to judge a thing you tell her in there. And…" Santana let out a shaky breath before continuing, "I know it's going to be hard, but you have to tell her everything Q. You know how it works in there… you'll just be on the other side of that table."

Quinn closed her eyes – trying to calm herself under Santana's touch. "I'll be okay San."

The Latina pressed a friendly kiss to Quinn's lips. "I'll be in my office finishing the clean-up. Tell Sarah to call me if you need me for anything."

"I will, I promise." Quinn pulled away from her dear friend to step closer to Sarah. "Good morning Sarah."

Santana hovered near the door for a minute before sighing and leaving the board room. Once she was safely in her own – now bare – office, she dug her phone out of her purse.

_Santana: Hey B. Q's not doing so hot right now_

She sat down in her chair before turning to look out the window. She was a little surprised to hear her phone go off with a new message.

_Brittany: She in her meeting?_

_Santana: Yea. Just went back. We need to cheer her up after_

_Brittany: Well, we can take her shopping_

_Santana: Don't think that'll help_

Santana ran her fingers over her face as she thought. What could they do to help Quinn relax? The minute her hand touched her hair, it hit her. She had the perfect idea.

_Santana: B. I got it!_

**_March 14 – 4:00PM_**

"I just want to go back to your place and sleep San."

Santana ignored her as she continued driving away from her apartment. "We're going to meet Brittany."

"San, I'm serious." The blonde glared at her friend once they reached a red light. "Just take me home." She didn't want to be around people. She just wanted to be alone. After she'd spent all day reliving everything that happened to her – she felt sick. Her hand carefully rested on her stomach as she felt a tiny flutter. "San…" Her heart rate automatically sped up as she felt the flurry of movement in her lower abdomen. "San…" She tried again to get her friend's attention.

Hearing the strain in Quinn's voice drew her attention. "What's wrong?"

"I feel… the baby moving."

The car came to another stop at the next light. "What?"

Quinn felt an array of emotions in the few short moments. "I felt… i-it moved…" Her fingers clenched at her stomach.

"Wait… what?" Santana subconsciously reached out to press her hand beside Quinn's on her stomach. "It's moving?"

"I… I don't know if you can feel it… but I do." She took several deep breaths to calm her nerves. She felt like crying. She wanted to smile. She wanted to scream. Everything was hitting her at once. It was all too much. After being forced to relive the entire ordeal, Quinn didn't need this on top of it. "Please just take me home."

"B and I wanted to surprise you with something." Her statement just earned her a glare. "Don't look at me like that." She pulled her hand away from her best friend's stomach to focus on the road. "Remember junior year when you needed a fresh start and we took you to get your hair and nails done?"

"That's when I was struggling the most." She smiled softly. Santana could tell it was fake, but at least it was an attempt. "You want to take me to get my hair done?"

"Well, yeah. It helped you all those years ago, maybe it'll help you now. I mean, we can't do your nails because of the baby. Guess you could do a basic manicure, but not the whole shebang ya know?" Santana suddenly blushed at how much she was rambling.

"Hey Santana?"

"Yea?"

She reached over the center console and gripped the brunette's gently. "Thanks."

**_March 15 – 3:30PM_**

Quinn ran her fingers through her hair – a nervous smile on her face, as she stood with Brittany and Santana at the gate Rachel would be arriving at. "Are you sure she'll like it?"

"Stop messing with it. It's perfect." Brittany swatted her fellow blonde's hands away from her hair. "She'll love it."

Santana looked up from her coffee with a smirk on her face. "If you weren't married I'd so be after you right now. That haircut is hot as hell."

"See?" Brittany pointed out. "Now stop messing with it it's totally sexy."

Quinn blushed heavily. She'd always been a self conscious person. She feared that Rachel would absolutely hate it. "I know what you're thinking Quinn. Remember the look Rach gave you when she saw your hair during Nationals?"

"Yea."

"See? Now chill the fuck out and go meet your wife. They just announced her flight's at the gate, but you were too busy worrying about your hair."

Quinn glared at Santana before she took a deep breath and turned toward the gate.

* * *

><p>Rachel held her purse snuggly to her shoulder as she practically pushed her way through the crowd of people. She was anxious to see her wife as well as her best friends. What she wasn't prepared for was the sight of her wife with half of her hair. Her steps faltered for a moment as her breath caught in her throat. "Quinn?"<p>

"What do you think?" It was the first thing out of Quinn's mouth once Rachel was in front of her.

Without a word, Rachel reached out to run her fingers through the silky blonde hair that now barely covered her ears. She finally spoke after placing a gentle kiss to her lips. "I love it."

"Really?

"Told you she'd love it Q." Brittany appeared at her side before enveloping the smaller starlet in a tight hug. "Hi Rach!"

"Hey Britt." Rachel returned the hug. She placed a gentle kiss on the taller blonde's cheek before moving to Santana.

"Come here short stack." The Latina couldn't help her smile as she shared her own hug with Rachel. "How was the flight?"

"Good." Rachel's smile faltered when her eyes glanced over Santana's shoulder to see a growing number of people pointing toward her and talking. Some were even starting to take out their phones and cameras for pictures. "I think we should hurry up…"

Quinn followed her wife's line of sight before frowning. "Should of have known this would happen…" she trailed off. "Come on Rach." She pulled her own sunglasses off her head before taking off her old NYU hoodie and passing it to her wife. Rachel just gave her a grateful smile before slipping it on over her own sweater. Being overly hot was a price to pay to avoid the attention she was already receiving.

"If they get any closer I'm getting security." Santana's protective nature toward her friends kicked in as she glanced at the crowd. "Let's get your bags Rach." The Latina hooked her arm with the smaller brunette's before talking to the baggage claim. She took it as her responsibility to be the protector in their little group.

Quinn smiled warmly at Santana. She'd always loved how overly protective the Latina was over everybody that was close to her. It was a trait that Quinn was thankful for. Especially with as weak and helpless as she felt lately. She knew Santana would always be there for all of them.

"Are you coming back to Broadway Rachel?" A random man asked – getting a little closer than any of them would have liked.

Quinn instinctively wrapped her arm around her wife's waist. She was used to the attention they'd received when they lived in New York. Now that Rachel was moving to Hollywood, the blonde knew it would only get worse with the attention.

"No. I'm here for other reasons." Rachel answered calmly. It wasn't in her nature to ignore any fan that approached her, regardless of the circumstance she may have been dealing with. Thankfully, the man seemed satisfied with the answer and left them alone. "I just want to get out of here." Rachel tucked herself further into Quinn's embrace. She tried her hardest to ignore the stares from the people she knew where surrounding them. She knew Quinn really didn't need the extra attention with the trial in two days.

"I missed you." Quinn whispered against the brunette hair that was against her neck.

Brittany smiled at her friends before pulling her wife a few steps away. "They need this right now." Santana just nodded. "Maybe Quinn will actually sleep with Rach here."

"I kind of doubt it baby. Q's a wreck right now no matter how okay she seems… she's really falling apart." Santana brushed her cheek against Brittany's. "Remember what you get like around the anniversary?" She hated the feeling of Brittany tensing, but knew it was the only way she'd understand. "That's how Q's feeling now."

"Oh… okay."

"There are my bags." Rachel reluctantly pulled away from Quinn to grab the first of two red suitcases from the line. Quinn quickly grabbed the other one. "The crowd's growing. I think they're starting to recognize both of us honey." She laced her fingers with Quinn's.

"Yeah. I don't need this right now."

Rachel saw the stressed look on Quinn's face at the sheer number of people watching them. "Let's just go guys."

Santana made sure to stay behind Quinn and Rachel, so she could keep a better eye out on her friends. Honestly, she'd do anything within her power to keep them all safe. They were her family and meant the world to her.

**_March 20, 2012_**

_She was pissed. No… she was fucking pissed. All she saw was red. And it was the red of Karofsky's blood sliding down his face as she continued to punch him with everything she had. She'd had enough of him tormenting everybody and calling her best friends faggots was the last straw. _

_"Santana, stop it!" Brittany fought to pull her girlfriend off the bleeding boy. It was a losing battle though, because whenever the Latina was infuriated, she was like superwoman. "San, come on, let him go."_

_"Let me go Britt!" Santana screamed as she wiggled against the blonde's grasp to get back to Karofsky as he lay on the floor, covering his face with his hands._

_The man on the floor sat up with the help of one of his football buddies. None of which jumped in after Santana tackled him to the ground. They all knew what kind of a woman she could become when she snapped. All of them were too afraid to get hurt themselves._

_"Santana, he's not worth it." Rachel stepped in front of the Latina to try to calm her down._

_"But the things he said to you and Q…"_

_"Whatever Santana. It's true, you're nothing but a bunch of little faggots that're gonna burn in hell." Karofsky dabbed at his busted lip as he glared at the four women in front of him, two of which were covered in blue slushie._

_"That's it, you're dead!" Santana successfully broke free of Brittany's grasp to jump on Karofsky again. It took Quinn to finally be able to pull her off and get her away from him before she did actually kill him._

_"Look at me San." Quinn grabbed her best friend's cheeks and looked into her eyes. "Rach and I are okay San. Why'd you do that?"_

_It was only Quinn and Santana in the room. Quinn had heard Brittany mention something about getting Rachel cleaned up. "Because he fucking deserves to know what it feels like to be hated on." Santana's voice was strained with emotion as she looked anywhere but Quinn's eyes. She was sick of being a victim of everybody else's hatred._

_"San, look at me, please." Quinn waited until her best friend looked at her before she continued. "You don't need to protect us. Yea, he's a dick, but we'll be out of here in a few months. ALL of us will be out of here in a few months. We're all going to New York together San. Remember? Yeah there are going to be assholes in our lives, but we have to be stronger than they think we are."_

_"Fuck them!" Santana yelled out before she started pacing around the room. She was furious._

_"Exactly Santana, fuck them. You can't let everybody get to you."_

_The Latina stopped in her tracks. She hated the feelings she had whenever someone attacked one of her friends, or her girlfriend. "I just don't like seeing you guys hurt. Okay?"_

_A small smile crept on Quinn's face as Santana's true colors started to show. She always loved Santana's protective nature towards the people closest to her. It was a quality that she prayed the fiery girl would never lose it as they grew older._

* * *

><p><strong><em>The flashback at the end was a last minute add-on to get some more length to this chapter. I'm not sure people will mind it. With the people watching Santana and Brittany did while waiting for Quinn... the whole time I was writing it, I could picture Brittany all excited and Santana just sitting there, agreeing with her while sipping her coffee. It was a cute mental picture :D<em>**

**_Don't forget to leave those reviews ;)  
><em>**


	25. Chapter 24

**_So tell me...how twisted is it that I've been looking forward to this portion of the story ever since I first thought up the idea?_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>!WARNINGS!<em>**

**_This chapter contains:  
>-mentions of rape<br>-mentions of beating  
>-emotional turmoil<br>-Quinn freakout 2.0  
>-Quinn coming face to face with Jim<br>_**

**_!WARNINGS!_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>There...can't say I didn't warn you all... This chapter is more or less the calm before the storm for the next chapter, which is Quinn's testimony. I was told not to spare any detail by two people...so I don't plan on sparing any detail...and it's going to get rather graphic. <em>**

**_I'm not going in depth with the ENTIRE testimony for everybody, because that would get overly boring, and besides, I don't know enough about the legal system to be able to come up with a whole witness questioning scene, like from start to finish lol I'm not going to be doing the cross-examination, because even though I'm sadistic enough to be able to write this about Quinn, I'm not sadistic enough to be able to write defense questions to try to free Jim. I'd rather not have to deal with all of that lol._**

**_This chapter was looked over by Jennception._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Chapter 24_**

**_March 17 – 8:00AM_**

Rachel reached out to run her fingers through Quinn's hair. It was something she'd learned very early on in their relationship that relaxed her wife. After all the fights with her parents, Rachel would simply play with Quinn's hair and she'd be asleep in minutes. Only this time was completely different. Quinn hadn't said a word since she woke up several hours prior because she couldn't sleep. Rachel knew better than to press her for anything. She knew Quinn was an emotional mess.

Quinn still hadn't said a word all morning. She was afraid that if she opened her mouth she'd start crying. She was about to be forced to relive everything. She was moments away from entering the courtroom and coming face to face with the man who tore her life apart. Quinn was barely aware of the three people surrounding her as she stood outside of room 2. The same room where she met him ten years ago. Everything from the first trial crashed back into her mind. Everything that happened to her was fresh. It all felt like it happened yesterday.

"We can go in now." Brittany spoke softly before opening the door to the court room.

Quinn let out a shaky breath as she made her way to the front row of seating. There were a mixture of reasons why she wanted to sit in the front. Mostly was so she could hear everything that was said. Another reason was that she wanted to show Jim she was there and he wasn't going to win over her for much longer. But on the flip side of that she was petrified to see him. She feared that the minute she saw him she'd be sick. She already felt sick from the nightmares the night before.

"We'll be right here Quinn." Rachel tightly gripped the blondes hand once they sat down on the bench seat.

Still, Quinn said nothing. Her eyes remained on the floor. Around her she knew everything that was going on from the number of times she'd been in court. Before the judge was presented, everybody used the final moments to get situated for the beginning of the day. The stenographer was busy making sure his stenotype was ready for the day. Off to the side the jury chatted softly with one another. Chatter surrounded her as the remaining seats became full of people who were viewing the trial. She could hear a few reporters preparing their cameras for the televised broadcast. Sarah had informed her during their meeting that the judge approved it to be televised, with the exception of Quinn's testimony due to the sensitive topic.

She felt her other hand be grabbed and knew it was by Santana. She needed all the support she could get. They all knew this would be hard for her, but they really had no idea. It was times like this when she wished she knew how to word everything that was going through her mind.

Her entire body flinched when she heard the door open. She knew what was happening. Through her years of trials, she knew the sound of that door. The sound was always the same. It was the door they brought whatever criminal through. Her head remained trained on the floor but her eyes glanced up and landed on him. The creator of all of her nightmares. The grip she had on Rachel and Santana's hands instantly tightened. She knew she was probably causing them pain, especially with the way she felt her own nails digging into the skin on the backs of their hands, but she didn't care. She didn't care at all. Neither did they. Neither of them said a word or made any attempt to pull away.

"Well if it isn't little Quinnie. It's wonderful to see you again." He smirked at her before pursing his lips and making a kissing sound.

"Sit down and shut up!" The bailiff pushed on his shoulders to get him to his chair.

Quinn forced her eyes closed and swallowed the bile that was rising in her throat. She instantly flashed back to all the times he forced his tongue into her mouth while she was trapped in his basement. Minutes passed before it was announced to rise for the judge. Quinn simply felt herself going through the motions. She didn't hear anything that was being said. She just waited for a gentle tug of her hand from either Rachel or Santana… or both. They knew she was off in her own little world and chose not to pry.

**_March 17 – 11:30AM_**

"At this time I'd like to break for an hour for lunch. We will reconvene here at 12:30." The judge hit his gavel on the block before he stood up to leave.

Quinn made no attempt to move until Jim was out of the room. Honestly, she was afraid that the slightest of movements would finally cause the bubble in her throat to rupture. She wasn't hungry. She knew the minute any food or liquid touched her mouth she'd spit it right back up.

"Let's get out of here for a little while Quinn." Rachel reluctantly stood up and looked down at her wife. She knew getting her out of the room for at least a few minutes, would help a little bit. After a few minutes of silence, Quinn finally allowed herself to be pulled to her feet and led out of the courtroom. "Do you want something to eat?" Quinn shook her head. "Something to drink?" She shook her head once more. "Why don't we sit outside for a bit? The car's right in the garage next door."

"No…" Quinn's voice was hoarse, it was the first time she'd used it all day.

"Come on Q, let's get out of here." Brittany looped her arm in Quinn's and led her out of the court room and down the hallway before anybody could object. "What's on your mind."

"Nothing B."

"You can talk to me." Brittany sat down on a bench at the end of the hallway with.

"I can't."

Brittany rested her head on Quinn's shoulder and let out a heavy sigh. "The first time I saw him after it happened, I hated everybody and everything. I couldn't speak, I couldn't eat." Quinn turned her head to look at her. "It got better though. It always gets better Q."

Quinn only shook her head before glancing down the hallway toward the courtroom. She just wanted this all to be over with. It felt as if it was taking an eternity. An eternity that was never going to fade away. "I just want to be by myself… please B."

"Quinn?" A male voice drew the attention of both the blondes. "It's nice to see you again."

Quinn couldn't help the smile that overtook her face as she looked up at the man that saved her life on that cold Christmas night. "Sam…" She stood up to greet him properly. She hadn't seen the man since the day before she was discharged from the hospital in Plattsburg. "It's good to see you again." She gently extended her hand to shake his.

Sam paused for a moment. The last time he'd seen the woman in front of him, she was a total train wreck. Now, the woman who could barely look at him, was talking to him and allowing him to touch her. "How have you been? I mean… ya know… other than the obvious."

"Enjoying life in Los Angeles now…" She took a heavy breath as she shook his hand. "How are… Lisa and Thomas?" She hesitated to remember the names of his wife and son. Honestly, she only cared about her own well-being at the moment, but she'd do anything to get her mind away from the trial for the remaining 35 minutes of their lunch.

A huge smile broke out on Sam's face. He was always one to love talking about his family. Quinn plastered a huge, fake smile onto her face as she pretended to listen to him go on and on about his wife and son. Nothing he said registered in her mind. It didn't matter though, the simple fact that he was talking meant that she didn't have to. She didn't have to answer any of his questions which made things easier for her. Quinn barely registered that Lisa and him were trying to have another baby and that Thomas could now count to 100.

Anything was better than listening to her friends telling her it would be okay. Even if it meant having to endure this man talk about the family that her and Rachel had longed for, for years. Every time Sam mentioned Thomas, she felt her heart ache a little bit more for the children her and Rachel had lost during their attempts. Perhaps asking him to talk about his family was a bad idea.

At least she wasn't thinking about Jim though…

**_March 17 – 2:00PM_**

"Can you state your full legal name for the record?"

"Samuel Alexander Evans." He spoke clearly into the microphone in front of him.

"Alright, Mr. Evans. What is your occupation?"

"Guard at the Plattsburg County Jail."

Sarah paused for a moment before continuing her questioning. "What were you doing out on the night of December 25th?"

Sam let out a heavy breath before answering the question. "I was driving home from an extra shift I'd picked up from a co-worker at the jail."

"Alright, why were you on Fuller Road so late at night? Isn't it dangerous to drive back roads when it's snowing?"

"I always get off the interstate at Bear Swamp Road and go on Fuller Road to get home from the jail. It's a route I'm very familiar with and it leads me right to where my family and I live."

"What time were you on Fuller Road?"

"About 8:45… 9 maybe? I don't remember exactly." He lifted his hand to run his fingers through his hair. "I know I clocked out from my shift at 8:30 though."

"How long does it usually take you to get home? Approximately."

"20 minutes, 30 at the most, depending on the traffic or weather."

"Alright Mr. Evans…" Sarah dared to glance up from where she stood and met Quinn. The blonde's head was slumped down – eyes most likely locked with the floor. She wasn't looking at anybody. Sarah couldn't even begin to imagine what kind of pain this was all bringing back to her. "Tell the court what happened while you were driving home."

"I remember singing along to my radio in my truck. I remember turning a corner on the road when it started snowing. So I slowed down some because, like you said, it was a back road, with a lot of hills and curves in it. I must have been driving for 5 or so minutes on Fuller when I came around another bend in the road. I spotted a mound of something in the middle of the road. So I started to like, slow down some more until I could see what it was. I thought it was just a snow drift, it was snowing pretty hard by then, and the wind was whipping."

"What did you do when you saw the mound in the road?"

"Well I slowed down. The closer I got to it, the more I could tell it wasn't just snow ya know. I could see red and brown mixed in. I stopped completely, put my truck in park and got out to check it out. I kind of thought it was just a dear that had been hit in the road, because of the colors, and the size of it."

"What was it?"

Quinn's eyes slammed shut at the memory. She may have slipped out of consciousness, but some things she could still recall in her mind. She vaguely remembered Sam calling her name now. She remembered the burn of his headlights in her eyes. She remembered trying to open her eyes and speak to him when he talked to her. At first she was terrified that it was Jim finding her, but she remembered the voice being different – more comforting. That was when she finally let herself go. In the depths of her mind she knew she'd be safe with him.

"I saw it was a woman. A woman who I later found out was Quinn."

"What kind of condition was she in?"

Sam felt his heart rate spike at the question. Sure, as a guard he'd seen his fair share of injuries, but they paled in comparison to what he saw that night. "There was blood everywhere… on her, on the ground… soaking through the torn coat she wore. I could barely tell her hair was blonde it was so dirty…" He allowed himself to trail off, waiting for the next question.

Sarah let out her own shaky breath. Now they were getting into the sensitive topics for Quinn and her family. She remembered Quinn not sharing this with them, and knew this would be the first time they'd hear it. "You said there was blood everywhere… did you see where it was coming from by chance?"

He shook his head. "I only had a flashlight, plus the headlights of my truck. It was everywhere. To the point I couldn't see where it stopped and started. I couldn't make out the difference between open wounds and running blood."

"You also stated her hair was dirty. Was that the only part of her that was?"

Quinn's jaw clenched at the question. She knew what Sam's answer would be, but she didn't want to hear it. Her fingers dug in deeper into Rachel and Santana's hands as she just sat there, having no other choice but to relive everything from her kidnapping.

"Her face and what I could see of her chest were also covered in dirt and grime. I didn't want it to be what I thought it was… but everything about her smelled like ammonia."

"Can you elaborate for the court please?"

"I work in a jail. I know the smell of ammonia… like… urine, feces. That's what I smelled on her."

Sarah paused for a minute to compose herself. It was something she knew she'd hear out of Sam, based on a meeting with him prior to her meeting with Quinn. It hit her hard the first time, but she felt it digging further into her emotional stability, knowing Quinn was also hearing it. "What did you do after that?"

"I acted on instinct. I didn't even hesitate in picking her up and taking her back to my truck. How could I leave a helpless woman in the middle of a snow storm?"

"Tell us what happened when you got to the hospital."

"Most of it was a blur. I pulled out front, parked, got her out and ran into the ER with her. A nurse saw me and got a wheelchair for her. I spent an hour being questioned by police, until they could prove that I wasn't involved in anything other than finding her. Then I just waited around."

"Why did you wait around? You didn't even know Mrs. Berry-Fabray."

"I kept thinking… That woman was somebody's wife… or girlfriend… or mother. That woman had something horrible happen to her. I wanted to make sure she was alright. I stayed around until the doctor told me that she'd called Quinn's wife. Even then I was reluctant to leave her alone. I couldn't imagine what she was feeling. I wouldn't wish that upon anybody."

"So you stayed out of the kindness of your heart?"

"In a way. I kept thinking to my own wife. If she was hours from home and something like that happened to her, I don't think she'd want to be alone either. Even though she didn't know I was there at first… I don't know, it's hard to explain. I wanted to provide some kind of sense of security for her."

Rachel smiled softly when she felt the grip on her hand relax some at hearing Sam's words. She glanced at her wife – her heart breaking every time she did so. Then she glanced up at Sam, her smile growing some when their eyes met. She took a moment to mouth a 'thank you' to him before trapping Quinn's hand with her free one, effectively trapping it. If it wasn't for the man at the witness stand, her wife would be dead.

Sam was the definition of a true man to her. A true man would put his own feelings aside to care for someone else. A true man would help others as long as it was within his power. It made Rachel's heart ache some that there weren't more men like him in the world.

**_March 17 – 5:15PM_**

"You need to eat something Q."

Quinn kept her eyes locked with the floor of the elevator. She was vaguely aware of the three women near her. It sounded like they were talking about food for dinner. But she didn't care. She knew she wouldn't be able to eat anything. Hell, she was already feeling the bile rise in her throat from the day's events. It wouldn't stay under control much longer and she knew that. Just a few more steps and they'd be back in Brittany and Santana's apartment. A place she knew she could find a spot to be alone. The minute Brittany pushed open the door, the bubble in her throat ruptured and she pushed past her friends – locking herself in the bathroom in the process.

"Quinn?" Rachel felt herself tear up when her wife pushed by all of them. "Honey, talk to us, please." There was still no response. She winced when she heard the very familiar sound of her wife retching in the bathroom. "Baby?" Her voice was barely above a whisper when she stood near the door. "Quinn please, we're all here for you."

The blonde simply remained on her knees in front of the toilet, throwing up nothing but liquid. Her stomach felt as if it was starting to eat itself. She was just that hungry, but the simple thought of eating anything just brought on more waves of nausea. All she could remember was his face staring at her. The face that pursed his lips together to blow her a kiss. That's all she could focus on. No matter how many times Rachel pounded on the door, it didn't help. She was lost in her thoughts. Quinn knew that Rachel was crying and she hated that. But honestly, she wasn't sure what she was crying about. Rachel should have known that she'd slip back into her 'safe zone' after seeing him. They all should have known. Why couldn't they just leave her alone like she wanted.

"Let me in Quinn." Rachel's pleading voice came through the door.

"Just leave me alone, please." Quinn's voice trembled with unshed tears.. Deep down she knew that Rachel just wanted to help her. They all just wanted to help her. But she didn't want help. She was thankful when she didn't hear anything on the other side of the door. For a few brief moments, she'd thought Rachel had finally left her alone, as she'd wished for. Until she heard two more pounds, followed by sobbing. Quinn had pieced it together enough to know Rachel's head came to rest on the door, then her knees came to rest on the floor.

It was a horrible mixture of emotions. Worse than what she felt under Jim's control. Worse than anything she'd ever felt in her life. Not even realizing she was pregnant had this effect on her. Her stomach retched one last time before she sank back against the wall, her own tears overwhelming her. She allowed her eyes to close as she tried to calm herself. Staying in the bathroom all night long wasn't an option she wanted to have. But walking through that door would lead her into the arms of her best friends. An option she didn't want to have to deal with either. But it was a better option than sitting on the cold tile all evening.

She stood from her spot on the floor and raided the cabinets until she found a bottle of mouth wash to get rid of the bile taste that coated her throat. After a silent prayer and counting to ten to mentally prepare herself, she unlocked the door to find herself face to face with a pissed off looking Latina.

"Don't even start with me." Quinn shot at her before attempting to push by.

"Start what Q? Start that you've been quiet all day? That you didn't eat a thing, or drink, or anything. We're worried about you. Rachel's in hysterics right now because she doesn't know how to help you."

"Just leave me alone." Quinn squeezed past her best friend to begin the short walk to the spare bedroom where her and Rachel were crashing for the few days they were there.

"We're not going to leave you alone Quinn. Why don't you see that?"

Quinn's eyes fell on Brittany, who was sitting on the bed with her arms around Rachel's shaking form. She turned around to try to go back through the door, only to see Santana standing there, blocking her escape. There were too many people around her. She suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe. "Leave me alone." She whispered in a dangerous tone. She couldn't handle people. Not after spending all day being surrounded by them. By being surrounded by those strangers who were listening to everything that had happened to her. She felt exposed… violated. Even more so than anything Jim ever did to her.

"No." Santana stepped closer, freezing only when Quinn stumbled back. She reached out to catch her before she fell backwards onto the bed, but the smallest contact caused the blonde to scream and scamper away. "Q?" The Latina's angered voice quickly faded away. Her heart leapt into her chest and the shrill sound of her best friend's panic. "It's okay, it's just us here."

"Then leave me alone!" She just wanted the people gone. All eyes were on her and she couldn't handle it. It was almost as if she could hear the inner laughter of those people in the courtroom. Laughing at the things she'd gotten herself into… the things she had to endure. "I just wanna be alone." She closed her eyes and pulled her knees to her chest – hugging them tightly. So tightly that her knuckles turned white.

Quinn felt arms wrap tightly around her, she didn't know who it was, nor did she care… she pushed. She pushed herself away from the body those arms belonged too. She felt filthy… Her eyes never opened as she slowly began rocking herself on the carpeted floor. "Get away from me!" She screamed, her eyes snapping open as she pushed an offending hand off of her shoulder. Her eyes landed on Rachel and for a mere split second she regretted her action. She saw the fear flash through her wife's eyes. "All of you get away!"

"Sweetie, look at me." Rachel knelt on the floor and tried to look into Quinn's eyes only to be pushed back again.

"Don't look at me. Don't touch me!" Quinn rushed to pull her knees back to her chest in a failed attempt at hiding herself from their gazes. Santana leaned down to whisper something into Rachel's ear. The smaller brunette reluctantly nodded before shifting further away from Quinn. "Whatever you're doing… don't." Hazel eyes snapped to Santana as she sat on the floor right in front of her.

The Latina tilted her head back to look at the ceiling for a moment. The entire time her fingers marked the Sign of the Cross while she whispered a prayer in Spanish.

"Praying for me won't help Santana!"

"I'm not praying for you. I'm praying for me." Santana's movements were quick as she wrapped her arms tightly around Quinn's body. The prayer was one for strength and overcoming. She knew what she was getting herself into the moment she told Rachel to move. Her eyes closed as she winced every time Quinn's fists pounded into her back, or her nails dug into her side. Her grip never faltered as she whispered softly into the blonde's ear. "Quinn, Te amo. Calmarse, por favor. No te vamos a dejar." Santana paused for a minute to regain her composure. She felt the blonde in her arms start to relax. The beating on her back was starting to calm down. Her words were working. "Te amamos Quinn. Todos te queremos."

"I hate your Spanish…" Quinn allowed her head to rest on Santana's shoulder as tears overtook her once again. Instead of her nails digging into Santana's sides to push her away, they dug into the back of her shirt – bringing her closer as she cried on her shoulder.

"My Spanish relaxes you. It always has…" Santana let out a heavy breath, her grip finally relaxing around Quinn's body. "Every since we were little." The blonde nodded between sobs. Santana flicked her head to the side, motioning for Rachel to join them.

"Rach, I'm s-sorry."

Rachel didn't say anything right away. All she did was tightly grip Quinn's hand. She lifted it into her view and forced her to look at the bracelet around her wrist. "You're not as weak as you think you are Quinn." Even though the blonde nodded, at that particular moment in time, she didn't feel it. "Santana just told you in English and Spanish that we're not leaving you. What will it take for you to believe it?" Rachel carefully placed her hands on Quinn's cheeks, forcing their eyes to lock together. Rachel hated the broken, distant look in Quinn's eyes, but knew she really couldn't do much of anything about it.

"Time…"

"None of us are going anywhere. We promise you."

Quinn wiggled herself out of Santana's grasp to collapse against Rachel. She didn't say another word for the rest of the evening. Even when she'd finally relaxed enough to fall asleep, they helped her into the bed… Rachel never left her side throughout the evening.

**_March 18 – 12:30PM_**

"What time was she brought into the hospital?"

That was about the time Quinn finally started to pay attention. She didn't much care for the doctor's credentials, or how long she'd practiced, or where she went to school. None of that mattered to Quinn. What did matter though, was hearing how bad her injuries actually were when she got to the hospital. She knew they'd told her after she woke up, but for the life of her… she just couldn't remember.

"She arrived shortly after 9PM. That's when Mr. Evans brought her in."

"What was your initial diagnosis upon seeing the victim." Quinn's body tensed at the wording, but she knew Sarah was only doing her job.

"She was unconscious when she was brought in… My initial thought was to stop the bleeding. She had several open wounds scattered all over her body. That was my top priority. The exam came after the bleeding was under control."

"What kind of open wounds did she have that you treated immediately?"

Quinn dared to raise her gaze from the floor at her feet to look at the doctor who played a part in saving her life. "There were deep lacerations along her thighs and stomach, as well as some minor ones on her back. What troubled me the most was the hole on her right clavicle."

"What kind of a hole was it?"

"It looked like someone, or some… thing had ripped out a part of her skin."

Sarah gave a mournful look back to Quinn before moving to an easel near the doctor. "I believe we have pictures of those wounds that I'd like to submit to evidence." The attorney let out a sad sigh when she saw Quinn's head duck back down. She could only imagine how hard it was for her friend to have to relive everything. "These pictures were taken the day after she was admitted to Plattsburgh General Hospital by the Plattsburgh Police Department."

Quinn's lower lip trembled as she felt Santana's hand shaking, as well as Rachel's. She never wanted them to see this. It was her at her weakest. She knew the first picture was of her collar bone. The subsequent pictures were of her other wounds, which were soon followed by the doctor's description of how bad they were and what she did to treat them.

"These on her thigh troubled me as well." Doctor Sanford stated. "The surrounding area was red and swollen. They weren't clean cuts. They were already showing signs of infection."

"What did you do to treat those wounds?"

"Covered them in an antibiotic paste before wrapping them. We can't stitch infected wounds, because that would effectively trap the infection under the skin and cause more problems for the patient."

Sarah nodded before lifting the enlarged picture to show the one behind it. It was of the insides of Quinn's thighs. "Can you explain the extent of these injuries to the court."

Rachel gasped softly at the sight of the deep purple bruising and minor cuts that covered her wife's normally pale, smooth skin. She forced her own eyes closed and leaned closer to Quinn, trying to offer some kind of comfort to her. "I'm here…" She whispered against Quinn's ear. She bit her lip and pulled away when the grip on her hand tightened in warning and Quinn shifted uncomfortably. "Sorry…" Rachel turned her attention back to the doctor on the stand, as well as the pictures.

"This is how I suspected foul play. The patterns here…" Dr. Sanford motioned to the picture, specifically the outline of a hand, before continuing. "Appear to be hand prints. The bruising shows that the patient struggled. These here…" she pointed to the scratches, "appear to be fingernail markings."

"What foul play was suspected?"

"Rape. With the amount of blood and bruising, it appeared very obviously to me that she'd been raped… but, since she was still unconscious, we could not perform any tests to prove or disprove my theory of rape."

"A rape kit was eventually performed, is that correct?"

"Yes, it was done the day after. After Mrs. Berry-Fabray spoke with police. It proved my initial theory of rape. Multiple times based on the amount of vaginal tearing that was found."

"What other injuries did the victim sustain?" Again Quinn cringed. She hated being treated like a victim, when in reality, that's all she was. She was the victim of Jim's heinous crimes.

"I checked for internal bleeding while she was still unconscious, thankfully there was none. While examining her ribcage, I found two broken ribs on her left side, and one on her right. X-rays also confirmed that."

Sarah finally decided to take a seat. Her own stomach was starting to twist and turn at hearing all of Quinn's injuries yet again. "Is there anything else you'd like to share?"

"She was severely dehydrated. But that could be attributed to the weather itself. She didn't talk to anybody much once she woke up. The only thing she asked for was her wife, and for somebody to call her wife for her." She paused for a moment to regain her thoughts to continue. "When Mr. Evans brought her in, she was covered in urine and feces… as he suspected" Dr. Sanford took a deep breath. "Tests proved though… i-it wasn't just her own…"

* * *

><p><strong><em>Again! You've been warned, don't bother flaming for anything, because you knew from the get go that it would be bad, it's only going to be worse next chapter... as for the Spanish from Santana, I apologize if it's absolutely horrible, I don't speak more than about a dozen words of Spanish myself, and I used Google translator for common phrases "I love you" "we love you" "we're not leaving" so mistakes come from the translator :)<em>**

**_See you around next time...with heftier warnings ;)  
><em>**


	26. Chapter 25

**_WARNING:_**

**_THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS THE FOLLOWING:  
>-QUINN'S UNCENSORED TESTIMONY<br>-MENTIONS OF RAPE  
>-HIGHLY DESCRIPTIVE TORTURE<br>-ANOTHER QUINN EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN  
>-NONSENSICAL USE OF BODILY FLUIDS<br>_**

**_...you've been warned..._**

**_If you're sensitive to any of those topics above...just skip this chapter all together, make life easier on everybody. This took a lot of me to write this chapter. I tried writing it in multiple different styles, but once I started with this way, it clicked and I finished the whole thing in about 5 hours time. Now that this speed bump has been passed, I'm hoping that it's smooth sailing for the rest of this story.  
><em>**

**_On that note... this chapter was read by Jennception while it was being written, and it would be torture to make her read through this again to look for errors. So I take credit for typos and grammatical mistakes._**

**_Also, don't hate me for going over the top, I was given free reign by multiple people to go all out. And... _****_I know this is cryptic of me but...enjoy?  
><em>**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Chapter 25_**

**_March 19 – 8:10AM_**

"The prosecution would like to call Mrs. Quinn Berry-Fabray to the stand please." Sarah announced from her place at the table.

"You'll be okay, I'm right here." Rachel whispered against Quinn's ear before she watched her wife take a deep, calming breath and stand up.

The walk to the stand felt like it took an eternity for Quinn. She'd been mentally preparing herself for this moment ever since her escape from Jim's basement. But all of that meant nothing compared to the real thing. She was about to tell her entire ordeal to the courtroom, as well as her wife and the two best friend's she'd ever had. Over the past few months, Quinn had told them small pieces of what happened to her, but nothing was shared in full detail.

"Can you please state your name for the record?" Sarah started right after she watched her former colleague be sworn in and take her seat.

The blonde cleared her throat before leaning forward some to speak into the microphone. "Lucy Quinn Berry-Fabray."

"And your occupation Mrs. Berry-Fabray?."

"Currently a civil rights attorney for Jackson and Associates in Los Angeles, California."

"And before that?"

Quinn attempted to swallow the lump that was forming in her throat, but to no avail. "Assistant District Attorney, here in New York City."

Sarah stood from her seat to try to make things a little more comfortable for Quinn. "Now, for the record, do you mind if I call you Quinn?"

"Of course not, that's fine." The blonde knew that being called by her name would hopefully help ease some of her tension and nerves.

"Can you tell the court what happened on December 19th?"

"It started out like any other day. Woke up, got ready, left my house at 7:30 to make sure I made it to court by 9. After court, I went back to my office for a while to prepare some for my next case. I left the office around five. Made my way into town to King's Flowers on 122nd Street."

"Why were you at King's Flowers?"

"I was paying for a bouquet of roses that were to be delivered to my wife, Rachel."

"And what was the occasion?" Sarah already knew, she remembered Quinn talking about it most of that week around the office.

Quinn smiled softly. "It was Rachel's last show on Broadway."

Sarah paused for a minute before glancing at her paperwork. She already knew everything Quinn would say based on their meeting a few days prior. "What happened once you left King's Flowers?"

Quinn suddenly felt her chest tighten as the air in her lungs became sparse. She knew it was coming. She'd have to spit it all out eventually, but she wasn't mentally prepared for it. How could anybody be mentally prepared for something that was eating away at them every single day? "I remember pulling my keys out of my purse and making my way toward my car. I had to park on the side of the strip mall because they were tearing up the pavement in front of the stores. The last thing I remember before everything went black, was the sharp pain in the back of my head."

"Do you recall anything after that?"

"I woke up for a few seconds. I don't know how long I'd been out. I just knew that I couldn't move my arms or legs. They were tied up. Around me I saw a lot of tools. I assumed I was in the back of some kind of utility van or truck. Then I blacked out again.

"At that time, did you know who'd hit you?"

"No." Quinn looked down at her lap. She couldn't watch the expressions on her wife and friends' faces while she told them everything she remembered.

"When did you find out?"

"After I woke up again."

Sarah gently rested her hands on the witness stand before speaking in a comforting tone. "Quinn, I know it's hard. But… who was it?"

"J-Jim."

"Can you elaborate a little more for the court?"

"Jim Fields…" She spoke softly.

"And how did you know who he was?"

"I was the attorney in charge of his case ten years ago."

"And once you were awake, what did Mr. Fields do to you?"

Quinn cringed at the question, before she had a chance to open her mouth the defense attorney – who's name she didn't care to learn – called out from his chair, "objection your honor. Speculation."

Both Quinn and Sarah glanced up at the judge to see him nod his head again agreement. "Sustained… councilor please rephrase your question."

Sarah paused for a moment. She tossed Quinn a sorry expression before asking again. "What happened once you woke up?"

"He… he hit me a couple of times in the face and chest to make sure I was awake." Quinn swallowed at the memory. It wasn't just a mental image she was seeing, it was almost as if she could feel all of the blows she ever took to her body all over again.

"Did he say anything to you?"

"Wake up bitch." She quoted as quickly as she could. It was rare for Quinn to use any harsh language, but she knew she couldn't spare anything in her testimony. "He even taunted me until I finally recognized him." Her breath once again caught in her throat at the memory.

"What kind of place were you in?"

"I was in a room. I think it was his basement. The floor was dirt. There was a single light hanging from the ceiling as well."

"Do you remember what he was wearing?"

Quinn nodded as she spoke. "Of course I do." She remembered every second of it, from the time she woke up, to the time she left. "He had on a torn blue t-shirt and gray sweatpants."

"And what about you?"

The blonde pauses to swallow the lump in her throat. "I – I was naked…"

"Do you remember anything he said or may have done to you?"

Quinn let out a humorless chuckle before lifting her gaze. She glanced at Rachel and saw tears in her eyes before she spoke calmly. "I remember everything."

"I know it's going to be hard, but can you tell the court everything you remember."

"My… first day there wasn't as bad as the rest…" she paused to take a deep breath. The courtroom was silent. So much so that one could have heard a pin drop. "He slapped my cheeks until I finally woke up. He yelled at me. I tried to lift my hand to cover my face but I found heavy metal shackles around it that were attached to the floor." Quinn's eyes closed as she was flooded with memories that she tried to make sense of. "My ankles were also shackled down." Her hand came up to play with the bracelet on her wrist as she spoke. "I told him he should still be in jail… he just laughed and told me he'd been a 'good boy.' Just the way he said it made me sick. He got so close to me… on instinct, I spit in his face. It just led to him slapping me again. Then… he just left me alone, cursing the whole way."

Sarah stayed at her spot near the witness stand. When she realized that Quinn wasn't going to continue without coaxing, she asked another question. "Did you stay alone?"

"I did… for a while." Quinn hesitantly lifted her gaze again. She did everything in her power not to look toward him. She knew he was right there, listening to every word she had to say. Looking at him though, would cause everything to crumble. She wouldn't be able to concentrate on her words, or the timeline of how everything happened. "While he was gone, I tried to escape. I pulled and tugged at the chains, hoping something would give. But all that did was bruise my wrists and ankles. Nothing gave." She bit her lower lip to calm her nerves. "I didn't know what to expect when he came back."

"How long was it before he came back?"

"I don't know how long. There weren't any windows, so I didn't know what time it was… I guess it was maybe an hour… two at the most. When he came back in he was smiling and carrying a cup and a plate of food."

"What was it?"

"It was mashed potatoes and pork chops… with water. But at first I refused to eat any of it…"

"Why's that?"

"I remembered from the trial that he liked to poison or drug the food to weaken his victims… I feared he'd did that to my food too."

"Did you eat it?"

_"Give it a chance Quinnie. I promise it's good. One thing I learned in prison, was how to cook. I tell you… screw up a guard's meal and they never let you live it down." He laughed while taking small bites from the plate._

_She simply stayed in the same position and watched him. It couldn't be poisoned… not if he was eating it, right? That's what she told herself at least when she spoke. "I'll eat."_

_"Wonderful!" He exclaimed cheerfully. It was a tone that made her skin crawl. How could he be so happy and chipper? It just showed her what kind of sociopath he really was._

"Yes, I did eat it. He was eating off the same place… he – he even let me pick which pieces of the pork chop I wanted to eat. There was nothing wrong with it." If she had to be honest with herself, she'd admit that the food was good. It was nothing like she had expected from her captor.

Sarah paused to make her way back to the table to check her notes. "Did anything happen while you were eating?"

"He insisted on talking…"

_She was too frightened to do anything but listen. Honestly, Quinn had no idea what he was going on about. All she knew was that the longer he talked, the longer she was safe._

_"You're not talking much sweetheart. Why don't you tell me about that little whore of a wife of yours. Is she still spreading her legs for that co-star of hers… what's his name… Jeff?"_

_"Fuck you. Rachel would never cheat on me!" Quinn shouted up at him from her position on the mattress._

_He just shook his head at her. "You just continue to live in your own little delusions Quinn. Why do you think she was at the theater so late all the time? Every single night she was getting fucked by him, right there on center stage."_

_"She was rehearsing."_

_"Rehearsing the missionary position I believe." He sat on his knees on the mattress and began dragging his fingers along her bare stomach._

_She instantly flinched away from his touch. As best she could anyway, given the fact that she was chained down. "How do you know she was at the theater?"_

_"You really are that stupid aren't you? I was watching her, and you. For about a week or so I believe. I really considered taking your precious little wife. But I don't think she would have been nearly as much fun. I think I would have gotten bored with her quickly." His fingers plucked at Quinn's nipple. His lips quirked in satisfaction when it became rock hard under his touch. "Looks like you like this."_

_"Don't touch me!" Quinn cried out – struggling against the restraints in any attempt to get away._

_Again, Jim just laughed. "I bet if I were to touch that little cunt of yours, you'd be dripping." His fingers danced near the top of her thighs. "I love a girl with some fight in her." He mused when Quinn squirmed away some. "Wonder if Rachel would have been like this too."_

_"Don't you talk about her!" Quinn felt her eyes begin to tear up. But she wouldn't cry, not in front of him at least._

_Jim ignored her comment. "Maybe I should have grabbed her too. It would be so much fun making you watch her suffer… knowing you couldn't do a thing about it. Wouldn't that be fun Quinn?" He stroked Quinn's cheek in a loving manner… until she tried to bite his hand. "You little whore!" He shouted at her before landing a punch on her left jaw. It was dangerously close to where she'd already been hit. The impact caused her to cry out in pain. "You're going to get what you deserve Quinn. And that starts by learning to respect your superiors."_

_Quinn laughed, despite her pain. "Superior? You? You'll never be my superior."_

_"Oh?" He planted a rough kiss to her lips before standing to leave. "We'll see about that. By the time I'm done with you, you'll be calling me your king."_

"Can… Can I have some tissues please?" Quinn's voice cracked with a sob as she brushed at the tears in her eyes with her hands. She'd still yet to look at her wife or her friends. There was no way she'd be able to handle their emotions on top of her own. She didn't doubt that all of them were crying, even Santana. Quinn couldn't imagine what they'd do when her story got worse…

"Of course." Sarah made her way back up to the stand with a small packet of tissues she'd pulled out of her briefcase. "Are you alright to continue?" She asked in a soothing tone.

It took a few moments, and several deep breaths in order for Quinn to be able to calm her nerves and curb her sobs. "I think I'll be okay." She dabbed at her eyes before nodding again to confirm what she'd just said. "Yea, I'm okay."

Sarah nodded herself before stepping away. "What happened after that?"

"The next time he came in, I had been asleep…"

_She was awoken by a sharp pain in her legs. "Dammit!" Her back arched up as she gasped for air. The burning pain that took over her right leg was unbearable. _

_"This is why you shouldn't sleep." He laughed before lifting the blade into her view to wipe the blood off of it. "Did it hurt?" All she did was whimper. Jim placed his finger on the open wound and pressed. "I asked you a fucking question!"_

_"Yes it hurt. God stop!" Her teeth dug into her lower lip. Tears slid down her cheeks while her eyes were clenched shut. A heavy breath left her lungs when his hand finally pulled away from her still bleeding wound. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" She pushed out through grit teeth._

_"You taste amazing." Quinn's eyes opened just in time to watch him lick the blood off of his fingers. "So much better than Elizabeth ever did. She tasted young… She wasn't ripe. You on the other hand, you're just right."_

_"That little girl was innocent."_

_"She was, until I fixed that." Jim smirked as he reached to the waistband of his sweatpants to push them down. "It's so exhilarating listening to someone begging me to stop."_

_Quinn's eyes slammed shut when she felt her thighs pried open. She could no longer watch him. She spent her last few moments preparing for what she knew was coming. The grunt that escaped his lungs confirmed her suspicions. _

"I… I can't." Quinn cradled her face in her hands as the sound of her sobs echoed throughout the courtroom. Her stomach flipped and she got dangerously close to vomiting right over the witness stand. "I just…I can't."

Rachel started to stand up from her seat only to have her hand grabbed by Santana. "But-" She started, but the Latina just shook her head.

"Sarah's probably going to ask for a brief recess." Santana whispered against Rachel's ear. "Just calm down.

Sarah leaned closer to Quinn. "Are you alright?"

"No."

"Your honor… I motion we take a short recess to allow her to compose herself." Sarah looked up at the man with a pleading expression.

"Granted. We will reconvene here in 10 minutes."

The minute his gavel hit the block, Quinn was to her feet and making a hasty exit from the courtroom. Thankfully she was well aware of the layout of the court house. She ran into the bathroom and into the first stall she came to. The minute she hit her knees, she threw up everything she'd eaten since the night before. Granted, it wasn't much, but it still hurt and burned her throat coming up.

"Quinn?" Rachel's voice echoed through the small room. "Honey, are you going to be okay?" She wiped at her own eyes before trying the door that was closed. It slid open and she knelt down behind her wife. "I'm right here."

"Don't…" Quinn whimpered out – shrugging off Rachel's hand the moment it landed on her shoulder. "Please… just don't." She smacked the gentle hand away when it touched her again. "Just leave me alone Rachel please."

"I can't do that Quinn."

The blonde refused to say anything else. She was thankful that Rachel finally left the stall. Quinn knew that her wife didn't leave the bathroom, but she at least gave her a little bit of privacy. "I can't finish this…" She whimpered.

Rachel leaned against the sink counter, watching her wife. "Do you want me to get Sarah?"

"Please…" She leaned against the sink before turning the water on to rinse her mouth.

* * *

><p>"Your honor, I would like to make a motion to admit to evidence a video tape that was recorded during a meeting earlier this week with the witness Quinn Berry-Fabray. Based on recent events that are making testimony too hard to deliver, the prosecution would like to admit this into evidence as replacement." Sarah pulled a tape off of her table to offer to the judge. She knew it would already be admissible since the defense had already had a chance to view it.<p>

"Does the defense have any objection to this video tape being admitted into evidence?" The judge directed his question to the other table.

He nodded. "I've had plenty of time to review this tape."

Sarah smiled softly before heading to the television that was brought out upon her earlier request. For proof that what Quinn had just told was the truth, she simply allowed the video to play from the very beginning.

Quinn's fingers looped around her bracelet and gripped it tightly while she listened to her own testimony from earlier in the week from her meeting with Sarah. Everything was the same. She was tired of reliving the same chain of events. Quinn was ready for all of this to be over with. Just another hour and she'd be able to get off of the witness stand, she hoped at least. If she'd been able to keep herself composed during her meeting with Sarah earlier that week, she'd be able to get off of the stand sooner. But most of the video consisted of Quinn crying and stumbling over words.

_"He cut into my skin with a knife. When I refused to answer him, he pressed…he pressed his finger into the wound. It hurt so much." She looked down at the table as she cried. "Of course I answered him. I had no choice. Thankfully, he pulled away. But what he did next… Oh god I almost got sick. He licked… my blood off of his fingers. He told me it tasted better than Elizabeth."_

_"And who's Elizabeth?" Sarah's voice came through, even though she wasn't on the camera._

_"Elizabeth was his last victim. The one who testified during his trial ten years ago. She was just a kid… After he cleaned his fingers… he pulled off his pants to… reveal himself to me…"_

_"What did he do?"_

_Quinn's eyes closed, tears streaming down her face. "He – he spread my legs as wide as he could and forced himself into me. It hurt more than the cut did… It hurt so much. I… I tried to not focus on it. I thought about anything other than the pain of the first time he…he…raped me…" Her voice cracked at the end of her sentence. She broke down in tears._

_The video carried on for several minutes before Quinn was finally able to calm down. "What other things happened to you Quinn?"_

_"Sometimes when he came to visit he was nice. He talked to me, told me about what was happening in the world. He never told me how long I'd been imprisoned though. I… I didn't even know how long I'd been gone until I finally escaped. There were other times when he teased me… and taunted me. He would discredit my love for Rachel. He – he had me believing that Rachel never loved me… that she used me for her own personal gain. I didn't want to believe it. I'm not even sure if I ever truly did." She paused long enough to wipe at her eyes. "The things he did to me though… they're so hard to talk about."_

_"You have to try Quinn."_

_She nodded, letting out a heavy exhale of breath as she did. "From that first meal he fed me… I only ate twice after that. He liked to sit down on the mattress beside me and eat. He'd tease me with every other bite. Laughing. Degrading me. He called me every name imaginable. Worthless. A whore… a slut… that everything that was happe-happening was somehow… my fault. I started to believe that it was. Every time he… he… forced himself on me… every foul word that left his mouth… everything, it was all my fault." She rested her elbows on the table and cradled the back of her head – fingers tangled in her own hair. "I lost track of how many times he screamed in my face… of how many times he would punch me, or kick me. After a while… I guess I stopped feeling it. I… I started to shut down."_

_"What do you mean shut down?"_

_The blonde let out a dry chuckle. "I was ready to give up… to give in to my fate. It all started to feel like a daze. It could have been the blood loss, or just a lack of sanity from being locked in the same room for days… unable to move… unable to do anything but lay there."_

_"You said you were tied down, unable to move. What about when you needed to use the restroom, how was that handled?"_

_Quinn audibly swallowed before speaking. "It was a sick game for him… he told me it was a fetish…"_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"I wasn't allowed to go… unless he was there. Unless he was watching me. And… even then it was into some metal pan that he-he placed under me."_

_"What would happen once you were finished?"_

_Quinn's brow furrowed at the memories. "He… he'd use it to 'bathe' me with… sometimes he'd mix it with his own. He told me it would be the only way to get 'the filthy whore' off of me for good."_

_"When he mentioned 'the filthy whore' who was he referring to? Did you know?"_

_"He was talking about Rachel. Every time he ever mentioned Rachel, he would call her a whore, or a slut… it was the only conclusion I could make as to what he was referring to." She started to rub at her own wrist, suddenly feeling filthy._

_There was a pause for a few seconds before Sarah's voice came through with another question. "You said 'he'd use it to bathe you,' can you clarify that for me please?" When there was no immediate response from Quinn, Sarah reworded her question. "Was it the urine or feces that was used?"_

_"Both…"_

_"You had said you only ate a total of three times… what about water? Or anything to drink at all?"_

_"He thought it would be hilarious… if he brought down a bottle of ice cold water for me. Most of the time he kept it just out of my reach. A handful of times, he actually allowed me to drink some of it. Twice he allowed me a swallow or two before laughing and dumping the entire bottle in my face. It felt like thousands of needles all over my skin."_

_There was another long pause before Sarah continued her line of questioning. "What happened on the day of your escape?"_

_"He came in and announced it was Christmas Day. He gave me a present… after some hits and kicks… he changed my shackles to chains. Chains that were loose. He… he kicked my side and left. Once he was gone… I pulled and tugged at the chains… I finally broke free. I could barely stand up I was so weak, my shoulders felt dislocated from my arms being above my head for days. I made my way up the steps and was thankful that the door was unlocked… someone… someone was looking out for me that day… I… I spotted a coat and boots by the door. I grabbed them and got out of the house."_

_"Where did you go?"_

_"Anywhere that wasn't in his cabin. It was snowing… and so cold. But I didn't care, I had to get away from him and everything he did to me. My whole body hurt from all the times he cut me. The most painful one… was when he was eating an apple. I asked him for something to eat, because I was so hungry. All he did was cut a chunk of the apple, eat it, then cut into my leg with the same knife… That… that was the most painful thing. It hurt so much more than the times he raped me."_

_"You just stated 'the times he raped you' can you clarify that for me?"_

_"He had a habit of always coming in whenever I was asleep. Twice… the feeling of him… entering me is what woke me up, once he woke me up with his knife to my leg… and another time he woke me up but kicking my ribs. There were four times when I was raped… that I know of. There were several times when he'd hit me hard enough to knock me out. I don't know for sure… if anything happened while I was out… all I know is that every time I woke up… I… I was sore. The same kind of pain like the other times he'd raped me…"_

_"What other things happened?"_

_Quinn swallowed the lump in her throat before speaking. Her voice was soft and emotionless the entire time. "He would come in just to yell at me. Then he'd leave. Or he came in and used me as his personal punching bag and just leave without a word… Then the times he raped me… he constantly called me his, and that… that nobody would ever be able to make me feel like he did. That n-now… nobody would love me…"_

_Quinn's sobs echoed through the video for several more minutes before Sarah finally ended her questioning and appeared in the video long enough to turn it off._

Quinn glanced up to look briefly at Rachel, Santana, and Brittany… Rachel was hunched over in her seat, her hands covering her face. From what Quinn could see, her shoulders were shaking, she was crying. Santana's eyes were bloodshot. Brittany's head was buried in Santana's shoulder as she also cried. How would she be able to face any of them now that all of her secrets were out there for them to know?

"Is there anything you'd like to add to your video statement Quinn?" Sarah asked gently, already know that the woman before her wouldn't be able to deal with anymore questions.

"No…"

The prosecuting attorney nodded her head before looking up at the judge. "No further questions your honor." She glanced at Quinn's family before giving them a sympathetic smile and taking her seat.

"Does the defense have any questions for the witness?" The judge looked across the courtroom at the other table.

"Nothing at this time your honor." He didn't bother looking up from the notes he was writing down as he answered.

"You may step down Quinn."

Instead of returning to her seat, Quinn headed for the door. She knew that under extreme circumstances it would be allowed. Since she wasn't dismissed, she couldn't leave the courthouse that day, but she could at least have a few moments to herself. Once she was out of the room, she made her way to the end of the hallway and curled up into herself on the wooden bench.

She stayed there for what felt like an eternity, just crying.

* * *

><p><strong><em>As far as the pre-recorded video testimony that was in here... I'm not 100% sure how that all works, but it worked in this story. So don't shoot me if it's not entirely accurate for how things are actually done. Just give me a break, this chapter was a bitch to write.<em>**

**_Drop me a line, let me know what you thought _**

**_Please? This little bitch of a chapter deserves some kind of love doesn't it?  
><em>**


	27. Chapter 26

**_This chapter isn't as long as the previous ones have been. But I'm sure everybody's thankful for a chapter._**

**_Please be warned, this chapter isn't beta'd or anything, I wanted to get something out to everybody since it's been almost a month since the last chapter was posted._**

**_I also wanted to give everybody an update... I've been dealing with a lot in my personal life, between my job and my family. I'm stressed beyond belief with everything that's going on, so... yea, writing has been hard. Hell, writing anything has been hard. So thank you all for baring with me, and thank you to those who've sent me PMs asking if everything's okay and if I was going to continue this. Little things like that help give me some inspiration._**

**_I'm leaving on vacation on May 4th, to visit a very dear friend of mine in Oregon. I'll be gone from the 4th through the 13th, so I'm going to try to get at least one, hopefully two more chapters out before I leave in 3 weeks. Nothing will be posted or even thought of during my time away. I'm sorry, but I need those nine days to myself to just relax and have fun, it's like I've forgotten how to have fun lately and it sucks._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Chapter 26_**

**_March 21 – 6:00PM_**

"Quinn's in the shower." Brittany spoke solemnly when Jeff asked where she was.

Now that the trial was over, they all had a new found respect for their dear friend. After learning the things Quinn had to endure, none of them questioned her multiple daily showers. They simply sat back and let it happen.

"Rachie!" Alex called out when he spotted the brunette pulling glasses out of the cabinet in the kitchen.

"Hey guys." The diva knelt down to accept his hug, it was soon followed by one from his older sister. "Have you two been good?"

Alex nodded, Jessica though, began a long speech. "I've been good. Very good I promise! So good that mommy and daddy are going to bring me out to see you guys this summer. They also said I could see your movie when it comes out. Isn't that awesome? What's it like being in a movie? Do you know any movie stars yet? Who do you know? Can I meet them?"

Quinn's soft laughter echoed from the doorway. "One question at a time squirt."

Both kids squealed in excitement before charging at the blonde. Quinn managed to wrap one arm around each child before she picked up Jessica, who was thrilled. "I missed you so much Quinn!" The girl nuzzled her face into the blonde's neck.

"To answer all of your questions…" Rachel carefully stepped up beside her wife and the inquisitive child. Her hand came to rest on Quinn's hip before she spoke. "It's very tiring working on a movie. No, I haven't met any other stars yet. Whenever I do meet someone, I'll be sure to see if you can meet tem too. And yes, it's 'awesome' that you can see my movie when it comes out."

Quinn gave her a small smile before placing Jessica back on the floor. "Hey, why don't you go say hi to Santana?" She gave Jessica a look that the girl didn't question before she ran off to find the Latina. "Rach?" The blonde tilted her head down the hallway before leading the way into Brittany and Santana's room.

"Honey, are you okay?" Rachel questioned once she shut the door behind her.

Quinn quickly sat down on the edge of the bed and shut her eyes. "Thank you." Before Rachel could speak, the blonde raised her hand. Even with her eyes shut, she knew her wife's habits. "This has been a trying time for everybody. I can't imagine what you've been dealing with. I know this hasn't been easy on you. Being in the position you were in and still are in must be hard." She let out a heavy sigh before opening her eyes and patting the space beside her. She waited until Rachel was seated before continuing. "I wanted to do this sooner, but I could never find the words. I never once stopped thinking about you while I was gone… hell, the first word I said when I woke up in the hospital was your name." Quinn brushed some tears away from Rachel's eyes with her thumb. "You've helped me come so far over these past few months… I don't think I'd still be here if it wasn't for you. I may have already healed a lot… but I'm also aware that I've got a long way to go. What I'm trying to get at is… I'm glad it's you who's helping me. I'm glad you walked into that locker room all those years ago and discovered a secret that I was too petrified to admit out loud to anybody."

"I love you Quinn… Don't ever doubt that I'll be here with you. We've been through so much already, but now we can begin to move past this and start planning our future."

"Our future family…" Quinn took Rachel's hand, laced their fingers together, and placed them over her ever growing stomach.

"Our family." The brunette whispered as she drew her wife into her arms and played with her short, choppy hair. "You know, I remember when you cut your hair like this in high school. I loved it."

"Really?" Quinn lifted her head to look into Rachel's eyes.

"I sure did. Even though we were in the middle of a huge fight when you cut it, I couldn't keep my eyes off of you. I couldn't wait to run my fingers through it for the first time." Rachel emphasized her point by dragging her nails gently along her wife's scalp.

Quinn didn't say a word. She just allowed her head to fall back onto the brunette's shoulder. The gentle, nimble fingers through her hair helped her to relax completely. She knew she'd been speaking the truth when she admitted to it being a trying time for everybody. The past week had been pure hell. There really was no other way to describe it.

At first, she was frustrated with herself for not being able to get through her testimony. She was disappointed mostly. But, as a former criminal prosecutor, she understood that it happened in almost all cases of sexual assault. Quinn unconsciously snuggled deeper into Rachel's embrace as her mind lingered on the night after her testimony.

**_March 19 – 8:30PM_**

_Her body trembled as wave after wave of nausea hit her. Her knees were starting to ache, and her throat burned. There were no tears left in her eyes to cry. The feeling she felt now was a million times worse than when she discovered her own pregnancy. Outside the locked bathroom door, Quinn could vaguely hear her wife and friends talking to her. They kept lying, telling her it would be okay. Obviously it wasn't, or she would have stopped heaving over an hour ago._

_Her eventual cross-examination came after their lunch break. She knew there was going to be no way of getting out of it. She answered every question honestly. She had nothing to hide. Each question was designed perfectly to discredit her… to show her as mentally unstable. They covered everything from Beth to her most recent suicide attempt in January. Thankfully, she was able to avoid any conversation about her pregnancy. None of their questions surprised her. She had been a prosecuting attorney for several years, she knew what was involved in cross-examinations._

_Finally, her stomach seized it's cartwheels and she was finally able to relax against the wall. Quinn was starving, but knew eating would only bring her sickness back. She ignored one more call out to her as she stood up and started the shower._

* * *

><p>"Quinn?" Rachel called out gently when she didn't feel her wife moving against her. "Honey?" She tilted her head to the side to get a better look. Quinn was asleep. The diva smiled before shifting to gently lay Quinn against the pillows. She was happy to see her wife finally able to fall asleep.<p>

Rachel knew that Quinn hadn't slept for more than a few minutes at a time. She just hoped that nobody would mind that she was taking a nap.

"Sweet dreams." Rachel placed a gentle kiss on Quinn's cheek and left the bedroom.

* * *

><p>"Quinn's food's getting cold, shouldn't someone wake her up?" Eileen dabbed at the corners of her mouth, having just finished her meal. The two kids had already eaten and had vanished into the living room to play with Santana's Xbox.<p>

Brittany shook her head as she picked up her own plate to put in the dishwasher. "She hasn't slept much since she got here. Besides, that's what the microwave's for. Exactly why it hasn't been packed yet." The blonde smirked, especially since it was her idea not to pack it away yet.

Jeff leaned forward some to check in the living room. It was to make sure that both of the kids were still engrossed in whatever game they were playing. "How is she doing?"

"Honestly?" A slow smile crept to Rachel's face as she looked up to meet Jeff's gaze. "Now that all of this is over with and he's going to rot in jail, she's been doing better. We talked some earlier and it helped me to understand some things." She stood up to put her own plate in the dishwasher. "I'm going to go and check on her."

When Rachel pushed open the bedroom door, she was surprised to see her wife sitting up with a notebook sitting on her lap. "Hey…" she whispered as she closed the notebook and hooked the pen in the spiral.

"You're awake." Rachel closed the door behind her and approached the bed.

The blonde placed her notebook on the floor beside her. "I woke up about a half hour ago… guess I just wanted to be alone for a bit, but now I'm really starving."

The simple statement drew a small laugh out of Rachel. "Do you want to go and join everybody?" Quinn shook her head. Rachel instantly understood. "How was your nap?"

"Pretty good, I really needed it." She reached toward her wife, giving her the idea to crawl onto the bed with her. "I just want a few minutes with you first." And she did. When Quinn first woke up, she was disoriented. Especially since she was in Santana and Brittany's bed, alone. But once she was fully awake and registered where she was, she knew it was best that she was alone. Quinn stayed where she was for several minutes crying. Crying over everything that had happened to her. Thankfully, she was able to get her closure and it felt like the weight of the world had finally been lifted off of her shoulders.

**_March 20 – 4:50PM_**

_Quinn was nervous when the jury had come back out after only a little more than an hour of deliberation. That usually meant good things… but not always. Santana apparently felt the same because the grip she had on Quinn's hand tightened._

_"We, the jury, find the defendant, Jim Edward Fields… guilty on all charges."_

_A cheer erupted throughout the courtroom. People were applauding the verdict. To her left, she felt Rachel's arms wrap around her neck. To her right, she felt her hand released. There was no doubt in her mind that Santana and Brittany were hugging. But Quinn wasn't sure what she was feeling. Somewhere inside, she was happy. Jim had been found guilty on every single charge. Yet, there was something inside of her that still felt empty._

_"You didn't break me." Quinn's eyes met with Jim's once he was standing. "You may think you did… you may have seen me at my absolute weakest where I was begging for my death… But look at me." She took a deep breath, swallowing down the bubble that was building in her throat when he smirked. "I'm very much alive, and stronger." He pursed his lips together to blow her a kiss. "What you did to me will take a lifetime to heal. But, I'm surrounded by people who love me and are willing to help… I hope you rot." She pulled away from Rachel and left the courtroom without another word._

* * *

><p>"Where did you go just now?"<p>

Quinn shook her head before tilting it upwards to press a sweet kiss to Rachel's lips. "I'm right here." She smiled then leaned in for a longer kiss.

Rachel reluctantly pulled away when the blonde's stomach grumbled. "I think you're hungry."

"The baby's always hungry… and sick…" Quinn scrambled out of bed and into the bathroom. She pushed the door shut behind her, knowing Rachel would be following. Sadly, it didn't go unnoticed by the guests in the house.

"You should be over all of this soon honey." Rachel shut the door and knelt down behind the blonde. "Have you been reading those books I got you?" Quinn nodded between retching. "And you've been through it all before." Rachel smiled, she learned that talking helped her wife to relax. "I'll always be here for you."

"I know…" Quinn sighed before sitting on the floor. "They… they saw me come in didn't they?" Rachel nodded. "I want to tell them…" The brunette's facial expression made Quinn laugh softly. "I'm becoming more comfortable with it all, I trust Jeff and Eileen."

"As long as you're sure."

* * *

><p>Quinn finished her second plate of pasta. She hated the way that Jeff and Eileen looked at her. Usually, she was always full after just one plate of anything. It was rare for the blonde to eat so much.<p>

"Can you please stop staring at me?" Quinn snapped at her friends. She couldn't help her town of voice… The way they looked at her made her feel like some sort of animal. She instantly regretted it when a look of pain and remorse flashed across both of their faces. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to snap at you."

"No, it's fine. We know you've been under a lot of stress lately." Jeff spoke softly.

It was just the three of them at the table. Rachel had ushered Brittany and Santana into the living room with the kids to allow Quinn time to talk to their old friends. Last thing Quinn heard was Rachel singing. The kids had apparently talked her into playing Brittany's karaoke game.

"It's just… I can't help being so hungry… and being watched while I stuff my face makes me feel even more self conscious." Quinn put her plate in the dishwasher before she sat back at the table.

"We didn't mean anything by it Quinn."

The blonde let out a heavy sigh. "I can't help being so hungry… because I'm pregnant." The room fell silent, the only noise was coming in from the living room television. Quinn paused for a moment, her eyes darting back and forth between Jeff and Eileen. At first, she wasn't sure if either of them heard her. They simply stared blankly at her. She didn't want to have to repeat herself, it was hard enough admitting it the first time around, but with the looks she was receiving, she needed to. "I said-" she started to say again, but was interrupted by Eileen.

"You mean…" She paused – placing her fingers to her forehead in thought before continuing. "Is it from…?" The older woman couldn't even finish her question. Her hands started shaking as she took several deep breaths to calm her nerves. "It is?" Eileen asked when all Quinn could do was nod. "Oh, honey…" She stood up and wrapped her arms around the younger blonde.

Quinn was proud of herself. Two weeks ago, she would have shied away from the mere thought of the touch. Now, she gratefully accepted it. For several moments, she simply stood there with her arms around Eileen, savoring the contact that didn't belong to Rachel, or Brittany, or Santana. "We're okay though. It's going to be okay. Rachel and I are keeping it."

"What?" Jeff's shocked voice shot in.

The two women pulled apart before Quinn looked at him. "We tried for so long to have a child… I think Rach said it best when she told me that it wasn't meant to happen until now. And you know what… I believe her. I've always believed in fate. I've believed that things happen for a reason. The reason I dealt with what I did was so Rachel and I could have a child. Perhaps it was God's way of punishing me for the things I'd done in the past. But now… now that I've pushed through it, we're being blessed." It was the first time Quinn had spoken about God since the incident. But, every time she laid in bed, unable to sleep, she thought and prayed.

Quinn prayed for strength to pull through the trial. She needed strength to see him again as well as tell her story. He granted her all of the strength she required. Now that it was all said and don't with, she thanked him. Each night, she silently said a prayer from her childhood. Her faith had finally been renewed and that in itself, lifted the weight of the world off her shoulders.

"I don't know if I could have done it Quinn, I really don't. You're a very strong woman. Don't let anybody ever tell you otherwise." Jeff stood up and carefully stepped closer. He was mostly gauging Quinn's reaction to his presence. He also knew that the slow approach gave her plenty of opportunity to run if she felt the need.

"Thanks Jeff…" She stepped away from Eileen to wrap her arms around his neck. It was a very bold move on her part and it definitely caught Jeff off guard. Quinn had barely registered his hesitance to return the hug. The only thing she could focus on was the face that she was hugging a man. It may have been a man that she'd known for years and who would never hurt her, but it was a huge step. When he finally returned her hug, she could feel his hands shaking on her lower back. "I'm okay, just please… hug me…"

The man smiled softly before resting his chin on the blonde's head. His arms tightened around her waist and he simply held her close to him, providing her a different kind of security that she could never get from her wife or her other friends.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Big step for Quinn huh?<em>**

**_And just to let everybody know... I'm not religious, so everything that was written about Quinn and God... I apologize to those who are religious if I screwed something up with that. I don't knock people for their beliefs, I believe what I believe and you believe what you believe, just don't push it in my face and we'll be just fine :)_**

**_Next chapter will have some time skips in it. I want to start getting this story going in the direction that would be the ending lol._**

**_Reviews, comments, concerns are always welcome._**

**_See ya next time.  
><em>**


	28. Chapter 27

**_I've finally found some motivation to get through the last scene in this chapter... Plus Olacindy has been on my ass about this a lot lately ;)_**

**_I can't make any guarantees on when the next chapter will be out. I'm working two jobs and it's getting into the Christmas season. So yea... Just keep an eye out for updates._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Chapter 27_**

**_April 11 – 7:30AM_**

Quinn paused for a moment – looking at herself in the mirror. The past two weeks have flown by. Both her and Rachel were back to work. She released a heavy breath before leaning closer to the mirror to finish her make-up. There were no longer bags under her eyes. She'd started to put some weight back on. She'd been able to eat and keep most of her food down – sans her morning sickness. Even that had started to subside some. No longer did she feel the urge to vomit while she was in the office, which was a great thing for her. Since she was getting tired of trying to pass off that she had been battling the flu.

Quinn didn't doubt that people have figured some things out. It was an office full of lawyers, their jobs were figuring the truth out. Since her abduction case had become national news, Quinn knew that some of them had pieced it together. But what mattered most – nobody brought it up.

A soft smile graced her lips when she stood back upright. Smiling… she'd been smiling a lot more lately. Having Brittany and Santana a few miles away and Rachel supporting her in every step she took definitely helped her to push the bad thoughts aside. She smoothed out the front of her jacket before reaching for her perfume bottle.

"Morning honey." Rachel carefully pushed open the door to the bathroom and entered.

That was something else that Quinn had gotten used to. There was no longer a need to lock the door behind her. She was comfortable enough around Rachel again to let her be near her. "How'd you sleep?" Quinn's eyes watched her wife in the mirror as the brunette stripped and reached behind the curtain to turn the shower on.

A sly smirk came to the brunette's lips as she pressed her naked form against Quinn's side. "Amazing. But I can't even begin to imagine why."

Quinn blushed as she remembered the night before. They'd tried again to make love. But she still couldn't tolerate being touched. Instead though, she focused entirely on Rachel. She didn't hit the panic stage the night before, like she had the first time they attempted it. But it was a step in the right direction for her. "Gee, I wonder." Quinn stole a kiss before watching her wife disappear behind the shower curtain. "I'll get breakfast ready for you."

"Alright, I love you."

"Love you too." Quinn left the bathroom door cracked some as she knew Rachel liked it. The brunette loved her hot showers and she learned early on in their relationship, that Quinn hated dealing with a steam covered mirror. So she'd just gotten herself into the habit of leaving the door cracked.

The blonde hummed to herself as she cooked up some eggs for herself and cut up some fruit for Rachel. It was just a quick breakfast for them both. Something that would be easy. On mornings where they both had to leave early, they'd fallen back into their habit of the first one to leave the house was the one who cooked breakfast.

She allowed her mind to wander as she pulled her eggs out of the pan. While she placed two pieces of bread in the toaster, she began to think. How would things be different had she been home over Christmas? If Jim had not kidnapped her? Had she not been beaten within an inch of her life? Had… she not gotten pregnant?

Then she thought back to her first pregnancy. Beth. The daughter she sometimes wished she had kept. How would things have been different then? Quinn wondered if she ever would have gotten out of Lima. Or if she and Rachel would have gotten together. Subconsciously, her hand rested on her stomach. Her fingers could feel the taught skin of her lower abdomen. Inside of her, was a life. Growing bigger and bigger with each passing moment. An innocent life that was brought forth from a horrid event that would always plague her thoughts and dreams.

"Your toast is going to burn honey." Rachel reached around her wife, pulling her from her thoughts, as she manually ejected the toast. "Are you alright?" She pulled the toast out and placed it on the small plate Quinn had already placed her eggs on.

"Just thinking." Her fingers tightened some on her stomach as she felt a little flutter deep inside. "My mind keeps wandering to Beth." She'd gotten better at expressing her thoughts and feelings to her wife over the last couple of weeks.

Rachel smiled warmly – hearing her wife talk about Beth. "Maybe you should call her, or text her. You haven't talked to her in a few days." She held out half of a strawberry for Quinn to eat before picking another piece out for herself to eat.

"Would we have gotten together if I didn't get pregnant?" It was a question that Quinn had asked numerous times before. Yet, there was something about how she spoke those few words that made Rachel's heart ache some.

Rachel carefully made up Quinn's egg sandwich before turning her full focus to the blonde. "I don't know honey. Technically, it had nothing to do with your pregnancy. It had to do with me forgetting a book in my gym locker and walking in on you in a rather compromising position."

"I know that Rach." She nibbled on the corner of her sandwich some while she waited for it to cool down. "But, I meant before that. If I didn't get pregnant, I never would have stayed with you and your dads… I don't think I could have ever found the courage to actually talk to you otherwise."

The brunette poured her and Quinn a glass of orange juice before she sat on one of the barstools to finish eating. She was pleased when Quinn sat beside her. "I remember someone telling me over the years that they believed in fate and destiny. In a way, I do too. You having Beth, brought us closer together," she paused to get a better look at Quinn before continuing, "me forgetting my book caused me to learn that you loved me… the incident gave us a family that we otherwise couldn't have. So, to actually answer your question, yes, I believe we'd be exactly where we are today even if you hadn't gotten pregnant."

"How can you always talk in paragraphs at eight in the morning?" Quinn chuckled when Rachel smacked her arm playfully. She honestly had everything she ever wanted, sans the tragic events of course. The woman of her dreams was sitting right beside her in the kitchen of their perfect home. Her two best friends were only a few miles away. She recently found out her daughter wanted her in her life. And her family was going to be complete in a few months. It was perfect.

"You need to leave before you're late. And I refuse to be the reason you're late." Rachel scolded as she cleaned up the dishes from the counter.

"I'm leaving now." Quinn gave the shorter starlet a quick kiss before going to her office to get her briefcase. "I'll see you tonight?"

"Of course." Rachel straightened out Quinn's jacket before swiping another kiss. "There's no place else I'd rather be then right here with you."

"Well, isn't someone full of kind words this morning." Quinn took her opportunity to tease, something she'd started feeling comfortable in doing again with her wife.

One more kiss was shared before Rachel ushered the blonde toward the front door. "I'm always full of kind words. Now go. I love you, drive carefully."

A smile came to Quinn's face as she watched her wife for a moment longer before turning to her SUV. "I love you too. Good luck on set."

After her positive morning with Rachel, Quinn felt like she was going to have a good day.

**_April 11 – 5:00PM_**

Her fingers sprawled along her stomach, before clenching the fabric of her blouse violently. She knew the woman hadn't meant it. The words weren't meant to be harmful. Were they? All she could think about were Jim's words. How much his words tore her down. She was getting better, or so she thought.

_"Did your jacket shrink?"_

It was all that was asked of her after lunch. It wasn't meant to be hateful. As a silent tear slid down her cheek, she knew that. It was a simple, innocent question. A question that even she would ask someone.

Quickly wiping her eyes as she pulled into the driveway beside Rachel's car, she knew she couldn't let her wife know she'd been crying. Even though it wasn't a logical thought, Rachel always saw right through all of her masks. The biggest difference now compared to a month ago- Rachel didn't hesitate asking questions anymore.

"Be strong Quinn." She spoke to herself while looking at her bracelet. "Jaimie didn't mean anything by it." Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. After composing herself, she grabbed her briefcase and climbed out of her vehicle. Before she even got to the front door to open it, she felt a single tear slide down her cheeks. Apparently she hadn't composed herself enough. She'd just have to tell Rachel what happened. "Rach, I'm home."

"I'm in the bedroom." Rachel called out, having heard her wife call for her. She was putting away some laundry.

"Hey…" Quinn unbuttoned her jacket before stripping it off and throwing it toward the clothes basket. She knew Rachel was watching her, but she chose not to look at her. It was easier. Without another word, she walked into their closet in search of a pair of jeans to change into.

Rachel tilted her head to the side before sitting on the edge of the bed. Watching Quinn was very short with her answers. She may have only said two things since she'd been home but she just knew. She knew Quinn well enough to know every time she had a bad day. "What happened at work?"

She decided not to speak as she unbuttoned her blouse to replace it and her bra with a simple t-shirt. Quinn knew that Rachel was watching her the entire time. It no longer bothered her with Rachel seeing all of her scars and damaged skin. She felt tears start to fill her eyes again when she realized the jeans she'd chosen, weren't fitting. She'd already taken her skirt off and it was thrown into the basket with the rest of her clothing. The denim was snug on her thighs, as it always had been, but her hips and stomach were another story. She could get them up, but barely, and she could forget getting them buttoned. "They don't fit…" Quinn whispered – defeated. It was hitting her.

She was pregnant.

Granted, she knew she was pregnant, but didn't want to really believe it, even with the sonograms and the morning sickness. Now, the weight gain was added to it. "Quinn?" Rachel carefully stepped closer to her wife. She pressed her hand against Quinn's lower abdomen, feeling the hard bump that was forming.

"This woman said something about my jacket shrinking…" She kicked off the jeans and dug through for a pair of sweat pants instead. She ran her fingers through her choppy hair before Rachel caught her. The brunette's hand came to rest on the taller woman's hip. "I'm fine Rach…"

"You don't look fine." Her fingers danced under the cotton of Quinn's t-shirt some, caressing the skin of her wife's stomach. "Why don't I run you a bath so you can relax? I'll even cook dinner."

"If by cook dinner, you mean order Chinese, that sounds amazing." She forced out a smile before looking down at Rachel's hand. "I'm getting fat." She brushed away the smaller hand before pulling her shirt down to cover the little baby bump she was forming.

"I still think you're beautiful Quinn. You're pregnant, you forming a bump was bound to happen."

Quinn's eyebrow shot up at Rachel's wording. "That's really a polite way to say I'm fat."

"Quinn! I never said you were fat!" Rachel pouted at the accusation.

"How about you join me in the bath, then we can order dinner. Make up for calling me fat." A slow smile crept to Quinn's lips. She knew Rachel wasn't calling her fat, but it was so easy to get her wife riled up over the littlest of things.

Rachel caught on to her wife's antics and a smile overtook her own face. "I'll join you in a bath Quinn. Come on." She took the blonde's hand and led them both into their bedroom, then into the bathroom to start running the water.

**_April 11 – 10:00PM_**

Rachel knew she needed some sleep. She was supposed to meet everybody at the studio at 6AM. But she couldn't sleep. She found herself just staring into Quinn's eyes. She hated any time spent away from her wife. But 3-4 weeks worth would be horrible.

"I'll miss you." Quinn spoke, breaking the silence. "It felt like I barely got back to you and you're leaving."

They already knew the night before Rachel left, there wouldn't be much sleeping. Both simply wanting to savor the last moments before being parted. Rachel smiled sadly at her wife before capturing her lips in a tender kiss. "I'll call you every night before I go to bed, and every morning when I wake up." Quinn nodded, allowing her hand to rest on the brunette's cheek. "What are you thinking?"

She was thinking a lot. But wording was something she still struggled with. Quinn learned from an early age that actions spoke louder than words. Instead of speaking her thoughts, she decided to show Rachel what she was thinking. Her eyes closed as she shifted her entire body closer to that of the smaller woman's. A sigh left her lips at the very familiar warmth that enveloped her body. She opened her eyes to look deep into Rachel's. No words were spoken. Her fingertips grazed down the starlet's neck. Quinn watched as Rachel's eyes closed and her head tilted to the side, giving better access to her neck.

"Quinn…" Rachel's breathy whisper sent a chill down the blonde's spine. Excitement coursed throughout her veins, she knew what those touches meant. There was no rushing Quinn tonight. Gentle touches from Quinn were what Rachel savored the most. Sleep now forgotten – Rachel melted into her wife's touch.

Quinn leaned in further and began pressing her lips to her wife's neck. She savored the taste of Rachel's skin. A simple taste that she could never get enough of. Her tongue shot out momentarily to trace a short line near Rachel's collar bone. "Let me love you tonight." She whispered, her eyes meeting Rachel's as she did so.

Without a word spoken, the starlet nodded. She had an idea of what was going to happen. Knowing she was leaving tomorrow, was probably helping Quinn overcome her last obstacle… intimacy. Rachel let out a breathy moan as Quinn's fingertips slid under her tank top to trace patterns on the skin of her stomach. Her own fingers got lost in her wife's blonde hair.

Quinn's heart was racing. Her mind couldn't focus on anything more than the thought that this was it. She was going to give herself to her wife. She felt that she was ready. Rachel would never hurt her. It's taken her weeks for it to actually sink into her mind. For all the years they'd been together – hell, even known each other, Rachel had never hurt her. Why would she start now? So, she never looked away from Rachel's eyes. She need a contact that wasn't purely physical. A contact that couldn't be more intimate – eye contact. Starring into Rachel's eyes made her blush. There really was no reasonable explanation for it. She'd looked into Rachel's eyes hundreds of times. Yet, this was different. It was completely different.

"I love you." The blonde whispered mere moments before capturing Rachel's lips in a passionate kiss.

Their kiss broke long enough to Rachel's top to be pulled over her head. It soon hit the floor with a silent sound that neither of them heard. Quinn's lips, instead of recapturing those of her wife's, found the brunette's left nipple. The soft flick of her tongue over the sensitive peak drew a deep moan out of Rachel. But Quinn wanted more. She knew Rachel was being cautious about her own actions. Especially with how she'd reacted in the past. But this was going to be their first time apart for more than a couple of days since the incident. Once Rachel left the following morning, it would be at least three weeks until they saw one another again.

"Please touch me…" Quinn lifted her head to look into her wife's eyes once again. She needed that sense of comfort – that security that only Rachel could give her.

The starlet had learned not to question what her wife asked of her. Her fingers trailed down the blonde's shirt covered back to grab it's hem. Without hesitation, she pulled it up and over the blonde's head. It then soon joined her tank top somewhere on the floor. Rachel's eyes never left the hazel ones that bore down into her. Eyes that were searching for comfort – for direction. Direction that only Rachel could give to her. As Rachel's fingers made contact with Quinn's breast, she felt her tremble. She pulled the blonde closer to her and whispered softly into her ear. She whispered anything and everything to Quinn that could calm her nerves.

Subconscious, Quinn rocked her hips down onto Rachel's. Each gentle touch on her breasts and nipples brought memories back. But the memories were nothing compared to the reality of what was happening. Quinn finally let a moan escape her lips. She couldn't hold it in any longer. What Rachel was doing to her was long overdue. She needed it. She needed this night.

They soon found a very familiar rhythm – rocking against one another. Lips danced together. Moans and breaths were shared between their connected lips. Fingertips ghosted over one another's upper bodies. Rachel wanted more though. She needed more. But it wasn't up to her. She had no control over the situation. No, she was simply along for the ride. The woman above her was in complete control. Her head flew back into the pillows when Quinn's knee slid between her legs to press against her. She dared to return the favor. Her leg bent up – her knee pressing against the apex of Quinn's thighs.

"Shh. Honey, relax…" Rachel quickly pulled Quinn's upper body against her own. "It's just you and I tonight. Nobody else." She continued to press her leg up between the blonde's. "I'll never hurt you."

Losing herself in the moment, Quinn's hand disappeared into the front of Rachel's shorts. She remained focused on the soothing words that surrounded her. She used the power and comfort of Rachel's words to push away all memory of the incident. That was, until she felt her own shorts be moved aside and a single, slender finger make contact with her core. Her entire body tensed. It was unavoidable. She made no attempt to stop though. Quinn knew she had to push through. Not only for Rachel, but mostly for herself.

"Focus on me." Rachel continued talking to Quinn. She did everything in her power to keep her wife focused on her and not wander to the past. "Stay with me baby." Her hips rocked against Quinn's hand as her own hand kept the same, slow pace. "Don't cry…" Rachel's free hand came up to brush away the blonde's tears before she captured her lips in a hard, loving kiss.

"Go faster…" Quinn was barely able to whisper. She'd missed making love to her wife. Her eyes clenched shut – tears streaming out of them as Rachel listened to her. She kept up the pace, determined to bring the brunette to her climax at the same time.

Rachel didn't dare slide her fingers inside of her wife. Quinn didn't need that much of a push to go over the edge. Plus, she knew it would probably send her into memory overload. "Baby… I'm gonna…" It was all Rachel could get out before her body tensed with orgasm. Her lips became attached to Quinn's as her fingers frantically worked at Quinn's clit to send her over the edge as well.

The attorney's body clenched up for a brief moment shortly after before she started shaking uncontrollably. The orgasm overtook every sense her body felt. Emotion flooded through her as she collapsed onto her wife's smaller frame. She buried her face into Rachel's neck and cried. What she felt was overwhelming. It was a feeling of finally being free of her past. Free of the incident. As she cried against Rachel's neck, she felt the smaller woman move some around her before the feeling of the warm blanket covering her bare back.

"I love you." Rachel whispered, her fingers running through Quinn's short hair. "I love you so much Quinn."

The blonde whispered back to her, "I love you too… thank you." She shifted some so that most of her weight was laying on the bed and not on her wife. But she remained wrapped in the brunette's arms. She just overcame her last obstacle. She finally gave herself to Rachel and it was the most amazing experience she'd felt in months.

Rachel knew what Quinn was thanking her for, but decided not to say anything. Instead, she just held her wife as she cried. The entire time, she was trying to hold in her own tears. She was going to miss Quinn. The time apart was going to be terrible for them both. But at least Brittany and Santana were there in California with them. She knew Quinn wouldn't be alone while she was stuck hours away on set. It was just going to be a very long month apart.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Don't forget to hit that review button :)<br>_**


	29. Chapter 28

**_Well, hello there. This story is NOT dead, as you can plainly see. I have not had any motivation at all to write to anything of mine. The bad thing is, I've wanted to write so badly, I've had so many ideas in my mind, but every time I sat at my computer or picked up a pen, I just started at the document/paper with nothing coming out. It was horrible._**

**_Hopefully with this, I'll be able to break through this lack of motivation I've been having lately, and actually get this story finished. It's too good and too in-depth to just abandon._**

**_This chapter really isn't much, it's more of a filler to get myself back into the swing of things, and to set up something that will be happening in the next like 2-3 chapters with Beth and Quinn. With this being posted now, I'm going to continue work on chapter 29, since I'm off work tomorrow for the holiday._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Chapter 28_**

**_April 18 – 4:00PM_**

Quinn walked through the front door to her house. Her very empty house. It had been a week since Rachel had left for her on location filming. A week. One lonely week. Rachel had stuck to her word and called her every single day she was gone. But today it was a horrible feeling. Sure, her office had been very supportive of her, and even threw her a birthday party at work. But it wasn't the same. Not having Rachel around made everything horrible. Now she knows exactly how Rachel felt while she was missing.

She threw her briefcase onto the counter. It had become a new habit every day she got home to the same empty house. Her hand came to rest on her ever growing stomach. It was still a surreal feeling to her. Being 39 years old, and about to have a child. Her and Rachel would be 67 years old when the child graduated from high school. She stood for a moment and thought about all the possibly scenarios their child might go through, simply from having older parents. On top of the fact that their child would have lesbian parents.

Kids were cruel. She knew that first hand… she used to be one of them.

The familiar singing voice that sounded through the kitchen brought her quickly out of her thoughts. Rachel. Rachel was calling her. "Hey." She said into the phone after accepting the call.

_"Happy birthday honey." _Rachel's voice rang through. It was obvious to Quinn she was smiling.

"Thank you Rach. How's filming going for you?"

_"I'm done for the day. So you know what that means? I'm all yours for the rest of the night. I really wish I could be there right now. I hate missing your birthday like this."_

Quinn sighed softly. She hated it too. She hated not having Rachel near her each night. "I miss you." It was all she said. It was all she had to say.

_"What's on your mind Quinn?"_

Rachel could always read her like an open book. Even the simplest of statements, her wife always saw right through them. "I'm just thinking. About the baby, about everything really. Brittany and Santana showed up at the office today for the birthday party they decided to throw me."

Rachel giggled softly. Quinn could hear it, plain as day. _"I saw the pictures. Santana sent me as many as she could from the party. And I must say, you looked absolutely adorable with that little party hat on."_

Quinn couldn't hide the small amount of laughter that left her lips. Hearing Rachel's voice instantly cleared her head from all of her thoughts. "I felt like a five year old wearing that thing. I didn't even want to, but you know Santana's persuasion skills."

_"Hence why she's a lawyer, like you. You both are very similar like that Quinn and you know it."_

"I'm aware of how much her and I are alike. We always have been. That's why we're such good friends." Quinn pulled out a bottle of water from the refrigerator and made her way into the living room. Once she made herself comfortable on the sofa, she propped her feet up and laid against the armrest. "I could really use one of your massages right now." The pregnancy was already starting to take its toll on her back.

_"I promise to give you a nice, long massage when I get home."_ It was a craft that Rachel had perfected ever since Quinn and Santana's car accident six years prior. The wreck had caused a pair of slipped discs in the middle of Quinn's spine. Every so often, a simple twist, or even how she slept, would agitate it and the blonde would be in pain for hours, or even days.

"That sounds amazing. My back is killing me." Quinn allowed her eyes to close. Normally, she would take some Tylenol to help with the pain. Sadly though, she knew it wasn't safe or recommended for her to take any pain relievers.

_"You know what will help you honey?"_ Rachel waited for a sound of acknowledgement before she continued, _"go fill up the bathtub. Get into the cabinet by the sink and there should be some of those lavender bath salts in there. That should help you relax."_

"Why can't you be here to get the water ready for me?" The attorney groaned as she sat upright again. She could feel the muscles straining in her back from the simple action of sitting up and then standing. The shooting sensation across her hips definitely didn't help any either.

Rachel giggled at her wife, _"I am not your bath slave Quinn."_

"I never said you were. But you take care of me when I'm in pain. You spoiled me with that ever since the accident." Quinn opened up the cabinet once she was in the bathroom. Sure enough, there was a half full contained of lavender bath salts. "And even when you're not here, you take care of me." She opened the container and placed it on the edge of the tub before turning on the water. Once the temperature was right, she went back into the bedroom to sit on the edge of the bed.

_"Quinn, you know you would do exactly the same thing for me."_ It was obvious that the starlet was smiling.

Rachel spoke the truth. Quinn would, in fact, do the exact same thing for Rachel – and she had. She'd lost track of the number of times she'd taken care of her wife while she was sick, or those few times she twisted her ankle while performing. "I know." She carefully laid back on the bed, wincing as the action stretched out the muscles along her spine. "I miss you."

_"I miss you, too, Quinn."_ Rachel sighed. She wanted nothing more than to curl up with her wife and do anything within her power to take her aches and pains away. _"Why don't you go and take your bath baby? Take a book with you and just relax."_

Quinn smiled. It had been a while since she lost herself in a novel. "That sounds incredible actually. I'll call you before I get ready for bed?" It was more of a statement than a question in her eyes. She carefully stood up from her bed before walking back to the living room to look through the bookcase.

_"I hope it helps your back honey. You can call me at any time and you know that. I am probably going to go out to eat with some of the cast tonight."_

"Tell them I said hi." Quinn smiled softly. Over her time spent at the studio with Rachel, she'd come to meet and get to know all of her co-stars. They were definitely an incredible group of people. She ran her fingers over the books on the shelf, before finding one that caught her attention. "I love you Rach."

_"I love you Quinn. I'll talk to you later."_

"Alright. Enjoy your dinner tonight." They finished saying their byes before ending the phone call. She pulled the murder mystery novel out from its place on the shelf and walked back into the bathroom. She added some salts to the water and used her hand to mix them in before she finally turned the water off. Her phone and the book were placed near the sink before she got a towel out from the cabinet. Carefully, she stripped off her clothing and tossed them on a pile near the closed door before stepping into the water.

It was a little bit hotter than she originally thought it would be, but it wasn't a bad thing. The heat of the water was helping to relax the muscles throughout her body. She gathered her phone and book – setting her phone on the edge of the tub, within her reach, she leaned back against the tub wall and flipped open the book to read.

* * *

><p>"Honey, I'm home!" Santana's voice echoed through the house as she used her copy of the key to open the front door. "I know you're here woman, your car's outside." She kicked the door shut behind her and made her way further into the house. "Quinn?" She called out again before placing the bag of food she'd brought on the counter in the kitchen before going to search through the rooms. "Where are you at?"<p>

Quinn stirred at the sound that was invading her dreams. She turned to her side and snuggled further into the pillow that she was curled up against – Rachel's pillow.

"Oh Quinnie." Santana's voice faded some when she finally opened the bedroom door. A smile came to her face when she saw her friend curled up in her bed. She was wearing a white tank top and a pair of track shorts. Santana just couldn't help herself as she pulled her cell phone out of her jeans pocket to take a picture of her. Quinn looked so peaceful and she felt bad to disturb her. After she took a picture, she scrolled through her contacts until she found Rachel.

_Santana: Found your wifey all passed out. That your pillow?_

Once the picture showed as sent, she sat down on the edge of the bed and gently shook the other woman. "Hey Quinn. Wake up. It's almost 7."

The blonde groaned and shifted onto her back, her leg pushing into Santana some as she shifted. "San?" Her eyes slowly opened and landed on the Latina that sat beside her on her bed. "What are you doing here?"

"Figured you'd want some company, plus some dinner."

Quinn's eyes closed again as her arms lifted above her head and she stretched. Her stretching, caused her tank top to ride up some, showing her slightly swollen stomach. Being four months pregnant, she still wasn't showing much, but there was definitely a hard lump forming. "Depends, what did you bring?" Her hands fell to rest on her stomach. She was comfortable enough around Santana now, that she didn't bother fixing her top.

The Latina rolled her eyes at her friend. "What do I always bring when I bring you food?"

"Hot wings and fries." She sat up, a slight smile coming to her face. It had been a while since she'd had hot wings. In reality, she didn't know she was even craving it until she said it, Santana nodded, and her stomach started to grumble from hunger. "Sounds good to me." Quinn stretched again once she was sitting on the edge of the bed. This time, though, something popped in her hip, causing her to wince.

"You okay?" Santana quickly placed her hand on her friend's lower back. She knew about the blonde's back pain that would come and go ever since their accident.

Quinn shook her head and stood up. "I'm fine. Spent too much time on my feet today and my back's hating me for me." She led the way into the kitchen and quickly dug into the bag she spotted.

Santana made herself comfortable on one of the barstools and leaned on the counter, watching her friend dig into the bags. "You need to be careful with that. It's only going to get worse."

"I know." She popped open a black Styrofoam container and shoved a French Fry into her mouth. "I took a long bath when I came home. Then I stretched out in bed. Guess I fell asleep." She shrugged it off. Taking a little nap did her good. She felt much more relaxed, not to mention awake, than she did when she got home.

The pair moved out into the living room to relax on the sofa. They chatted lightly about their jobs and Rachel before settling in to watch a movie for the night.

* * *

><p><strong><em>April 20 – 5:30PM<em>**

Quinn took a sip of her water in between her laughter. _"And then, hold on… Then Amanda decided to strip off her shirt and run around the set in just her bra! I wish you could have seen it Quinn."_ Rachel could barely control her own laughter as she explained what had happened earlier that day on set.

"Why was she doing that though? I can't picture her doing something like that on her own."

_"One of the stage crew dared her. And Amanda can never back down from a dare."_

Quinn's phone started beeping in her ear. She was barely able to hear it over the sound of her and Rachel's laughter. She pulled the phone away from her ear to see Beth's name and face appear on her screen. "Hey Rach… Beth is calling me…" she trailed off, hoping Rachel wouldn't be upset with her for wanting to take the call.

_"Go answer it honey. Call me later okay? Tell Beth I said hi."_

"Okay, I love you." She looked at her phone again and accepted the incoming call. "Hello?"

_"Hey Quinn. I hope I'm not interrupting anything."_ The girl sounded a bit out of breath on the other end of the phone.

The attorney made her way into the living room and plopped down on the sofa. She propped her feet up on the other end and let her head rest against the armrest. "Not at all. I was on the phone with Rachel, but I can call her back… she said to tell you hi by the way."

_"Aww, you didn't have to get off the phone with her just for me."_

Quinn knew she didn't have to. But, she wanted to. She was still rebuilding her relationship with her daughter and wanted to take every opportunity she had to continue making that newly found bond stronger. "It's fine, I'll just call her back later. Why so you sound so out of breath?"

The younger woman laughed softly and took a moment to regain her breath. _"I was playing around with this girl I know. She was chasing me… so yea, running around, I'm a little out of breath."_

Quinn smiled, "this girl you know huh?" She cracked up laughing when she heard Beth start stumbling over her words. "Is she still around?"

_"She's actually laying here on the grass with me – Hey!"_

The attorney heard some rustling around as well as some laughter _"Hello? Is this Quinn?"_

"Yes it is. Who is this?" Quinn couldn't wipe the smile off her face. Beth had mentioned to her before that she was bisexual, but she always played it off whenever Quinn asked if there was someone special. Quinn was starting to wonder if this girl was Beth's 'special' person.

_"Jess. Just this girl that Beth knows."_ In the background, Quinn could hear Beth trying, and failing to get her phone back. _"So, Beth has been talking about you non-stop since you called her. Talking about you and your wife."_

Quinn couldn't stop smiling – laughing occasionally when she heard Beth's cries of embarrassment come from the background. "Oh, she does?"

_"Non-stop. Sometimes I have to tell her to shut up, or physically cover her mouth to get a word in edge wise… But anyway. She wants to meet you. I know she wants to come up there and go to lunch or something… All I'm asking, is please. I think she'd really enjoy it."_

There was some more shuffling, this time it was followed by what sounded like Beth's annoyed voice. There was a brief pause before she spoke, _"Quinn… Quinn, I'm sorry…"_ She had no idea how the woman would react to what Jess had told her.

"Why are you sorry? Did Jess tell me something that you weren't ready to tell me?"

Beth sighed. _"Not really. She just told you something I've been wanting to tell you for a while, but never knew how."_

Quinn smiled, even though Beth couldn't see it. "I'd love for you to come up sometime during the summer. You could even stay here for a few days if you wanted to. I know Rachel would love to meet you and would love having you here for a while."

_"Finals will be over next week."_ Jess yelled loud enough, making sure Quinn would hear her.

"Rachel is doing some filming up in Monterey… I, well… I want her to be here when you come…"

_"Oh, I completely understand."_ Beth cut off Quinn's babbling. She knew what the older woman was trying to spit out. She was just as nervous about this meeting as Quinn was, even though she'd never actually say the words. _"Would it be okay if Jess came along too? Ya know… for the same reason as you wanting Rachel around…"_

"Yes, of course. We have plenty of room here for both of you." Quinn smiled. She was going to get to actually meet her daughter. More than just talking to her or sending the occasional picture through text message. "It would be nice to meet your friend too."

_"Speaking of my friend, she's over here crying because she wants to go and get something to eat. So I will text you later and we can figure out when would be good for me to come up there."_

Quinn and Beth said their good byes with promise to make their plans soon. Once she hung up the phone she simply stared at it. She couldn't help but wonder if that conversation had just taken place. Beth really did want to come and meet her and Rachel. She was going to have a chance to get to know her daughter even more.

It was going to be completely different than just talking to her on the phone or sending their random pictures. Beth was going to be right there… right in front of her. She would be able to touch her – hug her – actually see her smile. There was just one problem in Quinn's eyes…

Her hand rested on her lower abdomen. The baby. She had still yet to tell Beth about her being pregnant. Most of her wanted to do it before she came up. Yet, part of her wanted to wait until she was there, right in front of her, to tell her.

She'd have to figure it out soon, if Beth planned on visiting with her friend in the next few weeks.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Don't forget to hit that review button to tell me what you think. Do you have any ideas for anything you'd like them to deal with soon? Quinn will have to go public with her pregnancy soon, would you like to see anything happen with that? I have some ideas, but I kind of need some help. I can't find my original story outline that had this planned up to the last chapter, which I believe would have been 33 or 34. I remember the basics of what I wanted, but to me, you can never go wrong with a little bit more drama for them to deal with. Nothing major of course. All the horrible stuff is over.<strong>_

_**Anyway, I'm rambling again, sorry. Let me know what you think :)**_


	30. Chapter 29

**_So, I've been in a writing mood lately. Two chapters in two days, not bad. I'm quite proud of myself. _**

**_I just want to thank you all for your response to the last chapter. I wasn't expecting to get 10 reviews for a story that I haven't updated in about 6 months._**

**_I can't guarantee when the next update will be. I was off work yesterday and today. But please know this story is NOT dead. I'm still hoping for some ideas that I could incorporate. I don't want to drag this story on forever, but I also don't want it to seem rushed to get to the end. There's about a month's gap between the last chapter and this one. I was wanting to get the time flowing a little bit quicker so it doesn't seem very repetitive. I was able to come up with some simple outline that has me up into chapter 32, which is about a month from this date. So I need to get through to when Quinn has the baby, plus a chapter after that. I'm thinking this will be about 35-40 chapters long in all._**

**_Anyway, I'm done rambling again, enjoy the next chapter :D_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Chapter 29_**

**_May 23 – 10:00AM_**

Quinn let out a deep sigh as she allowed Rachel to help her up onto the examination table. She'd already changed into her gown and even got herself ready with the thin blanket over her lap and the lifted up to expose her swollen stomach. It was getting very hard to hide it. It was taking a toll on her body and her back already. She also knew that she was nearing her last trimester, which is when the baby gained all of its weight. Which she feared would only hurt her.

"How are we doing today Quinn?" The doctor interrupted her thoughts as she entered the room.

"I'm good." Quinn shifted some on the bed. Her head turned to look at her wife and she frowned. Rachel was giving her that look. "Okay, no, I'm not good." She hated when Rachel gave her the look. It was a look that told her 'if you don't say something, I will.' Quinn was too stubborn to admit she was in pain, but the extra weight on her front, was pulling horribly on her back.

"What's wrong?" The doctor sat down on the little stool beside the table.

"She can't sleep at night. She tells me she can't get comfortable because of her back." Rachel jumped in, causing Quinn to sigh. She hated it. It was to the point now that she wasn't sure if it was her pregnancy, or her lack of sleep that made her so irritable.

"Rachel, I'm fine." Quinn shot in, trying to get her wife to stop.

"What's wrong with your back Quinn?" Dr. Blair stood back up from the stool to begin her examination of the blonde. She felt around on Quinn's stomach, smiling as she felt the baby move.

Quinn's eyes closed as she focused on her breathing. When the doctor got close to her hips, there was a shooting pain across the middle of her back. "I was in a car accident about six years ago. The pain came and went over the years, but the past two weeks it's been horrible…"

Dr. Blair frowned some at her patient. "And you're having trouble sleeping because of it?"

"I just toss and turn… Most of the time I can't even sleep unless I'm sitting up on the sofa, or the recliner…" She felt some of her breath knocked out of her when the baby kicked particularly hard against the doctor's hand. "The baby's been moving around like crazy the past week too…"

"More than likely, that's because you haven't been sleeping enough to keep the baby happy." The doctor smiled softly at the glare she received. "You have to remember, everything you do, effects the baby. You don't sleep, neither does the baby."

Rachel sat back on her own chair, simply watching her love and the doctor. She hated being so lost. There was nothing she could do to help Quinn to sleep. She'd literally tried every home remedy that she knew, plus some that she had researched. All of which being healthy and natural to make sure they wouldn't hurt the baby in any way. Over the past week when she'd been home, she'd given her wife a massage every single night. It worked to get her to sleep, but Quinn never stayed asleep longer than two or three hours before she would shift. The moment she shifted in her sleep, she woke up groaning. It broke Rachel's heart.

"I get restless at work too… I can't sit in my chair more than a half hour before I have to stand up and walk around. Even then, it doesn't help. I'm constantly changing between the two… people at the office are starting to wonder about me too."

"They don't know you're pregnant?" Quinn only shook her head. "Maybe you should tell them. Then they would understand why you're always up and down at your desk." She pushed Quinn's gown further up and wheeled the machine closer to the table. The action drew Rachel right to Quinn's side. Even in all of the starlet's frustrations with her wife, she wanted to be right there with her to see their baby.

The blonde smiled at her wife before taking her hand. She'd made great strides over the past month in accepting the baby. As far as coming out and telling people other than their closest friends, that wasn't something she was fully ready for yet. She knew it would come soon, there's no way she'd be able to hide it much longer with her ever growing belly, and her growing inability to walk properly, without favoring her back. Whenever she favored her back, it only pushed her stomach more into people's view.

"I know we'll have to go public with it soon. Every time we're out together, there always seems to be someone taking out picture. They're going to figure it out eventually. I'd rather release a statement, before that happens." Quinn looked at Rachel, hoping her wife would take the hint. They'd thrown around the idea a couple of times, but had yet to reach some kind of a conclusion about it.

Quinn jumped when she felt the cold gel on her stomach, her head snapped to look at the doctor. "Sorry, you knew it was coming." She then pressed the paddle against her lower abdomen.

Soon the sound of a quick beating heart filled the room. The monitor was quickly taken over by a black and white baby image. "How's the baby looking?" Quinn couldn't tear her eyes away from the image once she looked at it.

"Your baby is looking incredible. Just a little restless, which you already knew that." She moved the paddle a little bit to get a better look at the baby. "Would you like to know what it is?" She pressed a key on the keyboard to snap a picture, she proceeded to do that several times, waiting for a response.

Quinn looked Rachel right in the eye. It was a silent conversation. When a smile came to Rachel's face, Quinn knew the answer to the question. "Yes, we do…"

* * *

><p><strong><em>May 23 – 3:30PM<em>**

Quinn wasn't happy. The doctor appointment went well, up until the point where Dr. Blair recommended Quinn do some physical therapy. Quinn hated physical therapy. She felt like it never helped her before, and didn't feel as though it would help her now. Her body was changing to be able to support their child. How could stretches and exercises actually help her out when they didn't help her out after her accident.

"You have to do it Quinn. You never know, it might help you." Rachel glanced at her wife after she put her car into park at the gas pump.

"It didn't help me last time Rach…" The blonde looked back at her wife and sighed. "I'll just hope that it does. I'm going in to get some tea, do you want anything?"

"Some green tea sounds good." Before the blonde could get out of the car, Rachel pulled her close and gave her a gentle kiss. "I'll be here to help you all along the way, I promise."

The statement pulled a smile to Quinn's face. She knew Rachel would be there with her the entire time. She'd been with her ever since the incident, and nothing had changed. Rachel stood by her through everything and helped her as much as she could. "Alright, I'll be right back out." She climbed out of the car and fixed her jacket to make sure her baby bump was covered. She smiled politely at a man who held the door open for her to enter the gas station. She made her away toward the coolers along the back of the store, finding a green tea for Rachel, and a peach tea for herself.

As she made her way back toward the counter, something caught her attention on the news stand. It was a magazine that she knew well for fabricating rumors, but the picture of herself with Rachel on the cover is what drew her in. She looked around briefly to make sure she wasn't being watched before she picked it up.

On the cover was a picture of her and Rachel, her wife was pushing a shopping cart full of groceries for them. There was enough space between them in the picture, that the was a box outline around her stomach, as well as a zoomed in picture. Across the top it read _"Berry-Fabray Scandal!"_ Below that was a little more detail about what it meant. _"Is Quinn Berry-Fabray pregnant and hiding it from her wife?"_

She felt her stomach curl. The media was already starting to figure it out. Without a second thought, she rolled the magazine in her hands and took it to the counter with her to pay for it. Thankfully, the teenager working the counter didn't give her a second glance as he rang up her drinks and the magazine. After she paid, she hurried back out to the car and got into the passenger seat. Once the door was closed behind her, she unrolled the magazine and flipped to the page which started the story.

"Quinn?" Rachel questioned when she finished pumping her gas and got back into the driver's seat. "What's that? You never read those things."

Quinn didn't say a word to answer her wife, instead, she started reading from the article. "Based on the timeline of pictures shown above, it's clear to be able to say that Quinn Berry-Fabray is, in fact, pregnant. Either that or moving to the west coast and the change of pace has caused the new starlet's wife to develop a fascination with eating. There's been a steady gain of weight, not to mention several times, she's been seen out and about buying new clothing. One time she was caught in the maternity section. There has been no time though where she's been seen out shopping with her wife. Our question then is… Is Quinn pregnant and hiding it from her wife?"

"That's barbaric Quinn. You know you shouldn't read those things, they like to come up with all kinds of stories about things they know nothing about."

She just continued reading. "Looking at her weight gain over the last several months, it's clear to us that she either cheated on Rachel shortly before her abduction or right after she found her freedom. Either that, or this woman is pregnant by her captor. If that's the case, why is she still pregnant…" Quinn trailed off, her fingers clutching tightly around the magazine. So much so that her knuckles were turning white. She knew it was going to happen eventually. She remembered from New York just how brutal the media could be when you're in the spotlight. "I'll contact my manager to get it taken care of."

"We need to say something… we need to make a statement. Once other news outlets see this, they're going to feed on it and we'll never have any privacy then." She tossed the magazine onto the floor by her feet and hooked her seatbelt. She wasn't sure if she felt like screaming or crying.

"We'll figure it out Quinn. You can't let it get to you."

"They'll figure it out too Rachel. They'll figure out that I'm pregnant from…" she couldn't even finish her sentence. Her hand was quickly enveloped in Rachel's as she pulled out of the gas station. "They already have suspicions about it… It's only going to get worse."

"Let me talk to my manager and see what she recommends about it Quinn."

The blonde only nodded. Her mind was already wandering about all the possible outcomes that could come now that the media was suspicious about her weight gain and throwing around rumors on their own about her pregnancy.

* * *

><p><strong><em>May 24 – 4:00PM<em>**

"Honey, we're home!" Santana announced as she let herself and her wife into the Berry-Fabray household.

"Why do you do that every time you come into our house?" Quinn popped her head around the corner from where she'd been helping Rachel in the kitchen.

Santana shrugged. "Because I can. Got a problem?" She kicked off her shoes near the door beside Brittany's before going into the kitchen. "How's my little baby doing today?"

"I'm just fine thanks for asking." Rachel shot in as she pulled a pan out of the oven, a smirk on her face the entire time.

Quinn cracked up laughing when Santana flipped off her wife before turning to her. "So not what I meant hobbit." She placed her hands on Quinn's swollen stomach, which was a habit she'd gotten into ever since the first time she felt the baby kick. And sure enough, the moment she placed her hands on Quinn, she felt a little kick against her palm. "Seems like the baby is wide awake."

"She always is."

Brittany sat on one of the stools at the island and watched her friends. "You really shouldn't do that so much Quinn. What if the baby's a boy, and hears you calling him a her, and he gets all confused when he's born."

Rachel glanced at Quinn, throwing her a quick smile before she pulled the rice off of the heat. "Tell them." She said softly.

Those three words caused Santana's head to snap around to her best friend. "What do you mean? Tell us what?"

A huge smile overtook Quinn's face before she rested her hands on her own stomach. "She won't be confused at all Brittany. Because we found out today that I'm having a girl." She barely finished her sentence before both of her friends nearly tackled her with a hug.

"Do you have a name for her yet?" Brittany instantly asked before her hand came to rest on Quinn's stomach.

"We haven't actually talked much about that yet." Rachel turned off the stove before actually joining her friends and wife at the island. "There's still time for us to figure that out." Her hand came to rest on the small of Quinn's back. "Why don't you actually sit down honey, you know what the doctor said."

The happy expression fell from Santana's face. "What does she mean, what the doctor said?"

The blonde sighed as she sat down beside Brittany at the island. "I need to start some physical therapy to see if that will help with my back. I also need to take it easy as much as I can… which means sitting down a lot."

Santana frowned. "You better listen to that doctor Quinn. Don't need anything happening to you, or to the baby."

"You better be careful, people might think you're going soft and actually worried about me." Quinn nudged her friend, a smile plastered to her face. She knew that Santana did care, and always showed it in her own way. The Latina just glared at her friend. Quinn knew Santana's ways, and knew how she reacted to things she really did care about. Ever since Santana had truly accepted the fact that Quinn was pregnant and keeping it, she embraced it. She'd even gone as far as to buy the baby some gender neutral clothing and blankets. As well as some toys. Quinn knew that Santana was going to be the best aunt ever, even if she'd never admit to it.

"Oh screw you Quinn. I couldn't care less about you, just your daughter."

The room burst into laughter. They all knew otherwise – that Santana was just trying to cover up the fact that she'd been discovered. Quinn leaned against the counter and watched the three best people in her life interacting. She couldn't ask for anything better in her life. Her daughter was going to be raised surrounded by amazing, loving, and most of all, protective people. She would learn so much from all of them. Rachel would no doubt have her watching musicals and sing to her every chance she had while she was growing up. Santana would take her aside when she was a little older and teach her how to fight and protect herself fi the time ever arose. Brittany would no doubt teach her how to love everybody and never judge someone until you get to know them. But Quinn paused in her own thoughts… What would she teach her own daughter? She didn't feel as though she had any special traits that she'd be able to pass on.

"Penny for your thoughts love?" Rachel wrapped her arms around Quinn's waist and whispered into her ear, effectively pulling her out of her thoughts.

"What am I going to teach her?" She rested her hands on Rachel's arms and leaned back some against the smaller woman.

"What do you mean?"

She turned her head to get a better look at the brunette. "Santana is going to teach her how to protect herself, Brittany will probably teach her how to love everybody without judgment, and you'll teach her the performing arts. But what about me? What do I have to offer her?"

"Don't even start that Quinn." Santana interrupted their private conversation. "You're the strongest woman I know, other than myself of course. But look at everything you've ever gone through in your life. Look at the woman you've turned into today. I don't know anybody else who could have pulled through everything you have in the last 39 years."

"She's right Quinn. All joking aside, people who go through half of what you have don't make it. You'll be able to teach our daughter how to be strong. Out of everything, that's the best skill anybody could ever learn."

Quinn remained silent. She heard what her wife and friend were telling her, but that doesn't mean she was listening to them. She didn't feel strong. She knew she had been through a lot in her life, but she pushed through it because she had to – because it was expected of her.

She was suddenly doubting the fact that she would be a good mother…

* * *

><p><strong><em>May 24 – 8:00PM<em>**

Quinn bid her wife and her friends a good night before grabbing her phone and going back to the bedroom to lay down. Her back was not happy with her at the moment, and she was hoping that if she propped herself up in bed and watched a movie that she would be able to relax and sleep some.

She stripped out of her shirt and pants before crawling into bed. She felt unusually warm that day and decided it would be best to try sleeping in just her bra and panties. After she placed her pillows up against the headboard she pulled back the blanket and crawled in. Quinn groaned when her body sank into the mattress. It felt good to lay back and be reclined. The combination of sitting and standing all day was not helping her at all.

She reached for the television remote once she was fully comfortable. After spending a good ten minutes flipping through channels with no luck, she went into the TV's functions and loaded Netflix. What she always hated, was not knowing what to watch. Quinn spent another 15 minutes scrolling through movies and reading descriptions before finally deciding on a romantic comedy. It really didn't matter anyway, she knew she wouldn't be focusing on it. She grabbed her phone from the bedside table and tapped through her contacts until she saw Beth's name.

_Quinn: Hey, are you busy?_

She blindly reached for her phone's charger to plug the device in. It was getting late at night, on a Friday, so she definitely wasn't expecting Beth to respond quickly.

_Beth: She's actually in the shower left her phone in my room. This is Jess. How's it goin?_

_Quinn: I'm good. Can you have Beth text me when she gets back…_

_Beth: Sure can. You okay?_

Quinn sighed. She'd only talked to Jess once, but she could already tell that she was a good person.

_Quinn: I just need to talk to her about something_

She let her phone rest beside her on the bed and wrapped her hands around her bare abdomen. "Shhh, honey, it's okay. We're relaxing now." She spoke softly as she rubbed her stomach, trying to sooth the little girl inside. "I'm gonna tell your big sister about you." Her fingers continued working at the skin, trying to calm down her daughter. She jumped when she felt her phone vibrate against her hip.

_Beth: Jess told me you texted me. What's up?_

_Quinn: You have a few minutes_

Quinn knew she should probably call Beth to explain everything, but she didn't know that she'd be able to find the words. Written or typed word was so much easier for her to be able to express how she was feeling about things.

_Beth: Yea. Are you okay?_

_Quinn: I just needed to talk to you about something_

_Beth: You can call me if you want_

_Quinn: This is easier to find the words… I'm pregnant Beth_

There was no immediate response. Quinn wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing. She instantly started running through all of the negative scenarios in her head. What would Beth think of her when she explained that the baby was unexpected. "Please calm down baby…" She winced at a particularly hard kick her daughter gave her. The doctor did tell her that the baby felt anything she felt. Which right now, was stress.

She quickly reached for her phone when it vibrated. By the time she unlocked her screen, it had vibrated a second time.

_Beth: I kind of figured that. I saw the pictures that this one magazine had in them. You look pretty far along… how far are you? I should say congratulations. But I do have to ask, is it from… that? Simply because you look so far along, like you're 5 or 6 months._

_Quinn: It is from the incident… we were hoping to make a statement about it before the media noticed anything different about me but that didn't work out_

_Beth: What made you decide to keep it_

Quinn stared at the text message for several minutes before she finally started to type out her response.

_Quinn: Rachel and I tried for years to have a baby nothing worked. Then this thing happened and found out I was pregnant… I don't believe in abortion and I nearly lost it when I gave you away for adoption. I couldn't do it. This was our chance to have a family, as Rachel said it just wasn't meant to be until now_

_Beth: I completely understand. That's kind of awesome that I'm going to have a little brother or sister_

The attorney broke out into a huge smile when she saw that message. It told her so much. Beth did want to be a permanent part of her life. Saying that she was going to have a little sibling told her that.

_Quinn: A little sister. Found out this morning it's a girl._

_Beth: I wish you could see the smile on my face right now. Jess is excited too. She said she can't wait to meet her when are you due?_

_Quinn: My doctor's saying Sept 14_

_Beth: I'm so coming up when you have her. School or not, Jess is saying she'll come up too lol she'll even drive me_

Quinn rolled onto her side and curled her knees in toward her stomach. It was comfortable, but she knew it wouldn't last long. She just hoped that she'd be able to fall asleep, at least for a little bit.

_Quinn: That's sweet of her. Is she your special someone?_

_Beth: … yes …_

_Quinn: lol, no need to get all shy about it. Obviously I'm not going to judge you, I'm married to a woman who was my high school sweetheart_

_Beth: I know. We're just taking things slow and there's no labels on anything._

_Quinn: That's the best thing you can do. One day at a time. You don't know what tomorrow will bring, let alone years from now_

She suddenly paused before she sent her message. Her mind drifted back to what Santana and Rachel had told her a few hours prior. She was strong. She was stronger than she gave herself credit for. What she was about to tell Beth, was something she'd lived by for years. It was true. Nobody knew what was going to happen the next day, or the day after, or so on. She knew she just had to live one day at a time and see what life brought to her.

_Quinn: Brittany and Santana are here, I'll text you later._

She forced herself to sit up and get out of bed. After putting on some clothes she made her way back into the living room where the group was sitting and watching a movie. Without a word stretched out next to Rachel and placed her head on the brunette's lap. These were the best people in her life right now and she was going to do anything to be near them. Even if it was to spend one day at a time around them.

Rachel just smiled down at her wife and began playing with her hair. Out of the corner of Quinn's eye, she could see Brittany and Santana sharing a similar smile to Rachel's. Nobody said a word, nobody had to. It was moments like this that Quinn cherished the most. She reached up to grab Rachel's hand, after bringing it to her lips and kissing it, she placed it, along with hers, on top of her stomach where their daughter was.

The combined touch caused the baby to kick, but quickly calm down afterwards. Rachel continued stroking her thumb over her wife's taut stomach. "I love you… both of you." She whispered before leaning down and giving Quinn a gentle kiss.

"We love you too Rachel."

* * *

><p><strong><em>There ya go. Chapter 29 :) Let me know what you think? Please? You'll make me sad :P<br>_**

**_See you next time :D_**


	31. Chapter 30

**_Lookie here, new chapter :D It's kind of a filler chapter, but in a way it will lead up to something that will happen here in about 3 more chapters. This was kind of thrown in, but it was an idea that I had had for a while, but wasn't sure about adding it in. But I was able to evolve my original idea into something more, so I decided to go with it._**

**_Oh yea, I also wanted to address a "Guest" review I received for the last chapter which stated "This story only gets more boring. Would have been better having an abortion. I hope the baby dies somehow." I'm sorry, but if you don't like how this story has gone, don't read it. I won't be offended, I promise :D This story is going exactly how I want it to go. I won't take offense. Nothing is going to happen to the baby, and I didn't really want the baby to die._**

**_To address another one, thank you for finding the typo, I didn't even notice I had typed 67 instead of 57. I'll eventually get around to fixing it. _**

**_Anyway, I'm done ranting, enjoy chapter 30 :)_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Chapter 30_**

**_June 2 – 11:00AM_**

He laughed. How could he not. He knew the media was lying. _'Rachel and Quinn Berry-Fabray Expecting_'. It was the headline of the tabloid he held in his hands. The more he read through the article, the more he laughed – the louder he laughed.

"Will you shut up already!" A random man's voice cut off his laughter.

"I wouldn't be laughing so much if this wasn't lying so much."

"What are you reading?"

He held up the magazine so the other man could see the cover. The cover showed a picture of Quinn and Rachel together, both sets of hands on Quinn's large stomach – smiles on both of their faces. "They look so happy don't they?" He sounded a bit bitter. Quinn wasn't supposed to be happy with anybody else. He was her king.

"They're hot." The man snatched the magazine to flip through, looking for more pictures of the couple. "Lesbians are always hot."

"Says they're expecting a baby. Quinn looks pretty far along." He smirked as he thought back to the things he'd done to her. "Also says it was planned." A bitter laugh left his mouth.

The other man glanced up from the pictures. "What are you talking about?" He started to read the article involving the couple in question. "Says right here they started trying to have a baby before she was abducted…" His brow furrowed. "You. I knew you were in here for kidnapping and shit, but why her?" The man threw down the magazine and stood up to look down at Jim. He had known of the man, but never actually knew much about his crimes.

"Because it's her. She's a stupid whore who deserved everything she got. Including my baby." He smirked. "They're lying to the media. It wasn't planned. That child that's growing inside of her is mine."

"How can you be so sure?"

"They're playing it safe. Some stupid shit about Quinn's healing process I'm sure. They don't want everybody to know that that child is mine. But it is. And let me tell you, she enjoyed every second of making that baby too."

What Jim didn't realize, was that a few other men were listening to the entire thing. They'd watched the man closely since he came in. They knew what he had done to Quinn. Granted, Quinn had been the one to put most of them behind bars, but they felt for the woman. They were on the same page as far as how they felt about her treatment. No woman deserved to be raped and beaten within an inch of her life.

"Let me tell you, the things I did to her." He smiled, proud of himself as he remembered everything. "The way she begged for me to stop. The way she cried when I beat her, or screamed when I cut her. She was such a baby over everything. But she didn't make it easy either. She was a fighter… I loved the challenge of breaking her down." He laughed. "She better watch out when I get out of here. I might just have to take my kid from her."

* * *

><p><strong><em>June 3 – 7:00AM<em>**

There were days when Rachel absolutely hated her internal alarm clock. It was mostly on days when she found herself waking up naked against her wife. She laid in bed for a few more minutes, trying to force herself to go back to sleep. She didn't want to leave Quinn's warmth. It felt like home to her as she snuggled further into her wife and closed her eyes. Several minutes passed before she finally realized it was a losing battle and carefully rolled onto her back. Her arms flew over her head to stretch out the stiffness she felt from sleeping in the same position all night.

Well, not all night, more like four hours. With a smile gracing her lips she leaned over to kiss the blonde's cheek before fixing the blanket around her and climbing out of bed. She loved how adorable her wife could be first thing in the morning. Rachel was barely out of the bed and Quinn was rolling over onto her side of the bed and reaching for one of her pillows to fill the void she felt in her sleep.

"Rach…?" Quinn's groggy voice filled the room as her eyes cracked open to look for her wife.

"Shh, go back to sleep baby. I'll get you some breakfast made up okay?" Rachel leaned in to whisper to her wife. She took a moment to brush some blonde hair out of Quinn's face before pressing another kiss to her cheek.

"Mmhm." The blonde's eyes closed again and she snuggled deeper into the pillow that was in her arms. Within moments she was back to sleep.

The starlet couldn't wipe the smile off of her face as she wrapped her robe around her naked body. After making a quick stop in the bathroom to fix her hair, she made her way out to the kitchen, flipping on lights as she went. Mornings were easy for her to adjust to. After spending all of her years with early morning rehearsals, and falling into Quinn's morning schedule with her job, being up so early was nothing new to her. She made up a small pot of coffee for herself – knowing that Quinn couldn't drink it now. After it started brewing, she grabbed an apple from the basket on the counter and walked out toward the front door.

Things had been a little less stressful for them since they released an official statement about Quinn's pregnancy. Rachel's manager has suggested leaving out as much of the incident as possible to protect them both. And they did. They stated to the press that they were trying to have a child before the incident and only found out Quinn was pregnant, after she had escaped. There were still rumors circulating them, but things, for the most part, had been alleviated.

Rachel disarmed their security system before unlocking the front door and going out onto the porch to pick up the newspaper. She shut the door behind her and blindly walked back toward the kitchen, apple in one hand, paper in the other. Her eyes skimmed over the front page to see if anything new caught her eye.

The paper ended up on the island in the kitchen, as did her apple as she made herself up a cup of coffee. While taking gentle sips from the mug, she sat down on one of the stools. Rachel bit down on her apple and chewed slowly on the piece in her mouth as she unfolded the paper. Out of habit, she went right for the Entertainment section. Lately, she'd been finding her and Quinn's name an awful lot. That day was no different.

She froze the minute she saw it. Plastered right on the front page of the Entertainment section was a picture of Jim Fields. Right below his picture, the headline read _'Brutal Murder At New York State Penitentiary.'_

As she sat, simply staring at the headline, she felt such a mixture of emotions in those brief moments. It was over – there was nothing left to fear. But Jim being murdered, gave him a free pass out. There was no way he was suffering anymore. How come he got to be free, but Quinn has to forever suffer? Before Rachel even realized it, her hand was crumpling the paper. It wasn't fair...

"It's not fair…" She clenched her eyes shut as a few angry tears slid down her cheeks. "It's not fair!"

* * *

><p><strong><em>June 3 – 8:15AM<em>**

Rachel hadn't moved from her spot at the island. Her eyes never left the paper. She read and reread the article more times than she could count. Her coffee was long forgotten and now cold. Her apple sat on the countertop with just a single bite taken out of it. She never noticed the figure that was moving closer to her.

"Good morning love." Quinn spoke as she pulled a glass out of the cabinet and started to get herself some milk. She paused and glanced over her shoulder when Rachel didn't respond. "Honey?" She placed the gallon of milk on the counter before moving closer to her wife. Still, the brunette didn't budge. "Rachel, you're scaring me…"

The brunette nearly jumped a foot in the air when Quinn placed her hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry Quinn… How did you sleep?" She placed her hand on top of Quinn's and finally looked up at her.

The blonde's brows furrowed as she continued to examine Rachel's features. It was obvious that something was bothering her wife. Quinn always had a knack for knowing when there was something on her wife's mind, but over the years, she had learned to never push her. Rachel would share things on her own time – when she was ready. "I slept well." She left it at that. Hopefully leaving it at a short answer would open it up for Rachel to talk to her.

"You might want to sit down…"

The tone in Rachel's voice was scaring her. The last time she had heard a tone similar to what she was hearing now, was when she told her the artificial insemination didn't take – that she wasn't pregnant. Quinn knew that wasn't the case this time around as she carefully sat on the stool next to her wife. "What's going on Rach. You're really scaring me…"

The starlet closed her eyes and let out a heavy breath. "Jim's dead."

That was definitely not what Quinn was expecting to hear out of her wife's mouth at such an early hour. Before she had a chance to say anything, the paper was handed to her. Quinn's stomach instantly fell when she found herself looking right at his mug shot. Memories flooded her mind as she looked into his pictured eyes. It wasn't the same as looking directly into his eyes, but it was pretty close in Quinn's opinion. She quickly scanned the article. A rage overtook her as she read of his murder in prison. Without a word she walked back into their bedroom to pull her phone off of the charger.

"Quinn?" Rachel got up to follow her wife. When she saw the Blackberry in her wife's hand, she knew what was happening.

The attorney scrolled through her list of contacts before finding what she was looking for. After dialing the number, she held the phone to her ear and waited for it to be answered. "I need to speak with Sarah Sullivan please…" Her face contorted with frustration at the answer she must have received. "I don't care if she's in a meeting, tell her Quinn Berry-Fabray is on the phone for her." She took a deep breath after her phone call was placed on hold and gingerly sat on the edge of the bed. She needed answers. If anybody would know the answers she was after, it would be Sarah.

_"Good morning, this is Sarah Sullivan speaking."_

"Sarah… when was he killed…"

_"I'm sorry? Who is this?"_

Quinn sighed, closed her eyes, and leaned her head back to take a deep breath to calm her nerves. "It's Quinn… I just saw the paper. His face was right on the front page out here… Why wasn't I informed?"

_"Quinn…"_ Sarah sighed on her end of the phone. _"I didn't think it would make national news… Let me get into my office. Claudia pulled me from a meeting and I picked up the first phone I could get to. Hold on."_

"Yea…" Her eyes were still closed. She wasn't sure what possessed her to call Sarah to find out the details. But something inside of her had to know. She had to know how he died. Had he suffered? Was it suicide? Assisted suicide? The article didn't release many details, other than it was gruesome.

_"Okay Quinn, I'm in my office now. You said you saw it in the paper out there?"_

"Yes, Rachel saw it actually…" She leaned into her wife, allowing the smaller woman to wrap her arms around her and gently massage her stomach. Quinn could already feel their daughter becoming restless due to her stress levels. "Then when I woke up, she showed it to me. There weren't many details in it. Just that it was gruesome…"

_"It happened about 6 last night. He was jumped in the showers."_

The blonde took a deep breath again. She was trying everything to remain calm while she listened. "How was he killed?" She wasn't sure she was really ready for the answer, but knew, deep down, that she wanted to know – she needed to know.

_"His throat was slit with a broken shower head… by the time the guards got in to stop the attack he had already asphyxiated on his own blood…"_

There was more that Sarah wasn't saying. Quinn could tell by the tone in her voice. "Sarah?"

_"It was brutal Quinn, are you sure you want all of the details?"_

"Yes. Please Sarah, I have to know."

_"The guys that jumped him said they were tired of listening to him gloating about what he did to you… they cut off his penis while he was bleeding out from his throat… They said they needed to teach him a lesson."_

Quinn's expression instantly dropped. He was dead, and he had suffered in dying. "He's really gone isn't he?"

_"Yes Quinn… it's over."_

"It's never over Sarah… Thank you for telling me." They said their byes before Quinn hung up the phone. She simply stared at the screen as everything started flooding into her mind. Anger, depression, sorrow, hate, disgust, and an odd sense of loss. Her hand came to rest on her stomach. Sarah may have said it was over, but to Quinn, it wasn't. It would never be over. He would always live on in her mind.

"Quinn?" Rachel couldn't read the look in her wife's eyes. She wasn't able to hear what Sarah had told her, but she could tell it wasn't good. "What happened?"

The blonde just shook her head. Without a word she placed her phone on the bed and went into their bathroom to take a long shower. She locked the door behind her. Quinn needed time to herself to fully process what she'd just learned. It was definitely not how the blonde planned on spending her morning.

Once she stripped off her robe, she took a good look at herself in the mirror. Her face was full of life, as it had been before the incident. Her eyes raked over her features. She was just starting to feel happy and completely relaxed again. Her life was coming back together. She was part of a job that she loved around people that were as compassionate as she was. Her wife had never left her side as she had once feared. Brittany and Santana were just a few miles away. Beth was back in her life now. Everything was almost perfect. As her hand came to rest on her swollen stomach she smiled solemnly. It was bittersweet really, thinking that such a wonderful event could come from something so tragic.

Quinn knew that she would love her daughter no differently than if she were actually planned. It would be hard at first, remembering how she came about. But she was now sure, with time, she'd be able to look past the incident. "I hope you don't look like him…" she looked down and whispered to her stomach before looking back at the mirror.

Her examination continued, her physical wounds had healed. Her fingers came up to trace the rough patch of skin that was near her collar bone. The scar. Scars were all that remained of her plight. She carefully traced every one of them that covered her body. The one on her chest was still a bright pink color, but it had faded over time. The scars that scattered her chest, arms, and stomach were fading even more. Some on her stomach were almost not visible anymore. Maybe with time they would completely fade.

That was the difference between scars and memories. Scars _could_ fade and vanish over time – being completely forgotten. Memories, on the other hand, lasted a lifetime. There were days when the memories seemed forgotten, but it would only take a single word or sight, and everything came crashing back.

"He'll always be here…" she whispered to the reflection before reaching in to turn on the water for a shower.

* * *

><p><strong><em>June 3 – 10:00PM<em>**

"I'm sorry about today…" Quinn watched her wife as she crawled into bed beside her. Throughout the day, Quinn stayed between the bedroom and her office. She did anything in her power to avoid being around her.

"Quinn, I understand." Rachel faced her wife once she pulled the blanket over her own body. Her hand came up to rest on the blonde's cheek – thankful that she made no attempt to pull away as she had done earlier in the day.

The attorney only shook her head. "You don't understand… but I wish you could." She closed her eyes and allowed her wife's touch to relax her. "They slit his throat with a broken shower head… he choked on his own blood. He suffered." Rachel only nodded, Quinn couldn't see it, but somehow she knew. It prompted her to continue talking. "They also cut off his…" she couldn't even say the word, but when she opened her eyes and looked at her wife, she knew that she didn't have to. Rachel knew exactly what she meant.

"What made them do that?"

"Sarah told me that they said he needed to be taught a lesson."

"How are you feeling about all of this?"

"Honestly, I don't know… part of me feels lost, but part of me feels relieved. I'm relieved that I – we – won't ever have to deal with him again."

"We won't Quinn. We'll never have to worry about him being released, ever. He can't torment us, or you, or our daughter anymore. He's gone." Rachel leaned in to place a gentle kiss to Quinn's lips before she brushed some of her hair out of her face. "I love you Quinn."

The blonde smiled gently at her wife. "I love you Rachel. Thank you, for everything." Quinn snuggled herself closer to her wife and listened as Rachel began to sing softly to her.

**_Don't give up  
>It's just the weight of the world<br>When your heart's heavy  
>I...I will lift it for you<em>**

**_Don't give up_**  
><strong><em>Because you want to be heard<em>**  
><strong><em>If silence keeps you<em>**  
><strong><em>I...I will break it for you<em>**

**_Everybody wants to be understood_**  
><strong><em>Well I can hear you<em>**  
><strong><em>Everybody wants to be loved<em>**  
><strong><em>Don't give up<em>**  
><strong><em>Because you are loved<em>**

**_Don't give up_**  
><strong><em>It's just the hurt that you hide<em>**  
><strong><em>When you're lost inside<em>**  
><strong><em>I...I will be there to find you<em>**

**_Don't give up_**  
><strong><em>Because you want to burn bright<em>**  
><strong><em>If darkness blinds you<em>**  
><strong><em>I...I will shine to guide you<em>**

**_Everybody wants to be understood_**  
><strong><em>Well I can hear you<em>**  
><strong><em>Everybody wants to be loved<em>**  
><strong><em>Don't give up<em>**  
><strong><em>Because you are loved<em>**

**_You are loved_**  
><strong><em>Don't give up<em>**  
><strong><em>It's just the weight of the world<em>**  
><strong><em>Don't give up<em>**  
><strong><em>Every one needs to be heard<em>**  
><strong><em>You are loved<em>**

Rachel pulled away to look down at her wife. Relief washed over her once she realized Quinn was asleep. It was nice to see Quinn sleeping a little better over the last few days even though her back was still killing her. "Sweet dreams Quinn." She placed a kiss to the blonde's forehead before fixing the blanket around them and closing her eyes for sleep as well.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Let me know what you think. Ideas are still welcome, since this story will probably run through to about chapter 40 or so.<br>_**


	32. Chapter 31

**_So, here's the next chapter for you. It's a little bit shorter, but I felt that it was complete with what I put into it. I needed to get something written to keep my mind occupied. My grandfather is having massive surgery tomorrow/today depending on when this posts... (June 10, 2013) It could take anywhere from 12 hours up... so if you're religious at all, please pray for him, or at least keep him in your thoughts. He's been battling oral cancer and now he's going through massive reconstruction surgery on the roof of his mouth... he's 80 years old._**

**_Okay, now that that's out, here's your next chapter. As I said, it's a little shorter than the others, I hope that's not much of an issue._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Chapter 31_**

**_June 13 – 9:00AM_**

The physical therapy had not been helping. At all. Quinn found herself in more pain and discomfort than she had been before she'd started – just as she feared. Just as she had thought, it was just like the last time she'd attempted therapy for her back pain. It made it worse. Even Rachel's magical massages couldn't help to ease the pain she felt.

She shifted yet again on the exam table she was laying on. The only time Quinn ever felt comfortable now was reclined on the sofa, or propped up in bed. Lying flat didn't help her at all, it only pulled and put pressure on the bad areas of her lower back.

"How are we doing today?" Dr. Blair asked as she entered the room with Quinn's file in her hand. Her smile fell, though, when she looked at the way Quinn's face contorted. "That bad?"

"I told you the physical therapy wouldn't work." The blonde glared at her doctor.

The older woman sighed as she sat in the chair beside her patient, Rachel was sitting along the wall. It was a given that the brunette was at her wife's side for every appointment. She'd yet to miss one, and Dr. Blair figured she wouldn't miss any of them. "Scale of 1 to 10, what would you rate it right now?" She carefully helped Quinn to sit up so she could listen to her breathing and get her other vital signs.

"8." Was all she said before sitting back down on the bed.

Quinn cringed when Dr. Blair pressed on her stomach. She always did hate exams. Whether it be for her child or for her. The doctor always seemed to have the magical ability to find the most tender spots on her body.

"Has the baby been restless lately?" The doctor lifted Quinn's gown to get to her swollen stomach.

The blonde just nodded. The baby was moving around quite a bit over the past few days and making her even more uncomfortable. "It's like she never sleeps…"

"Just like you Quinn." Rachel stood to join her wife. "I know you aren't sleeping at night honey," she placed her hand atop Quinn's to offer a little bit of support to her.

Dr. Blair placed the paddle onto Quinn's stomach and soon the room was filled with the sound of a quick, steady, beating heart. The monitor also came to life with images of a very healthy, very lively little girl. The image quickly took Quinn away from the pain she was feeling. Nothing mattered at that moment except the sight and sound of their baby girl.

"Still showing very healthy Quinn. But," she paused after removing the paddle and cleaning her skin, "I am going to order you to bed rest for the remainder of your pregnancy."

"What?" Quinn's head whipped around to look at the doctor.

"With as much pain as you're in, it's better to be able to rest. Being uncomfortable will only cause strain to the baby. I'll make sure you get every form you need for your job. But, this is what is best for you and the baby."

"Honey, please…" Rachel's hand came to rest on Quinn's shoulder. She could tell her wife was upset about the new orders. "I know you don't want anything to happen to the baby, and honestly, I don't want anything to happen to you."

Quinn just sighed in defeat. She wanted to fight the decision to put her on bed rest. There was no way though. Rachel was too headstrong whenever it came to her health. Throughout the years, whenever Quinn was sick, Rachel would literally force her into bed so she could rest. It would be completely pointless now that she was with child. One simple look from her wife was all it took to completely give in. There was, in fact, one thing that Quinn was well aware of…

Bed rest was going to drive her insane.

* * *

><p><strong><em>June 15 – 6:00PM<em>**

The movie on the TV was only there for background noise. Just something to help fill the silence in the house. Rachel had been gone most of the day doing a few re-shoots for her movie.

For the most part, Quinn simply slept and relaxed. She hated admitting it, but the doctor's orders were, in fact, helping her pain level. Once she woke up, she spent about an hour in the bath, then tidied up some. Now, she was stretched out on the sofa with some cable movie that she wasn't even paying attention to on the TV.

She missed her wife though. Rachel had been gone since shortly after ten and had no idea when she would be home. Quinn turned her head to return her attention to the television. She had no idea what the movie was about, nor did she even care to find out. It passed her time. Except for the occasional text message from Santana about the new male intern she had in her office, she was sure she'd fall asleep again.

_Santana: I swear Q he follows me around like a fucking puppy_

_Quinn: He loves you lol_

_Santana: Fuck you_

Quinn cracked up laughing. Ever since the Latina had come out of the closer, the sight of men disgusted her. Granted, they disgusted her long before that, but she never truly admitted it until she was completely comfortable with herself.

The blonde smiled at her phone when it went off again; showing a new message to her from Santana.

_Santana: When are you and Rach coming over for dinner Britt wants to know_

_Quinn: Oh you know it's you who wants us to come over. It's not just B_

_Santana: Course. Gotta make sure you're takin care of yourself and my baby_

_Quinn: Rachel wouldn't have it any other way. Spent my whole day sleeping and laying around_

_Santana: Must be nice to lay around all day_

Quinn sighed. She wished it wasn't the case. If it wasn't for that wreck all those years ago, she wouldn't be stuck around the house while everybody else was allowed to have their lives and come and go as they pleased. In a way, she felt useless.

_Quinn: Gives me too much time to think_

And thinking is all she'd done. Running through every scenario in her head. She was still trying to comprehend the fact that Jim was dead. It didn't seem real. It seemed like one of her many lifelike dreams that had manifested into her day to day life. It wouldn't have been the first time that her dreams had started to take over her reality, but that was another idea that she didn't want in her head at all.

She thought back to the dreams she had that night she discovered his death. Dreams – more like nightmares – memories even. She was doing so good with pushing her memories aside until that news article brought everything crashing right back down. She felt herself jumping at most little noises and even Rachel touching her caused her to tense up. It seemed to be a never-ending cycle for her.

_Santana: Thinking about what?_

_Quinn: The baby. What happened, those things_

_Santana: Need to talk?_

_Quinn: I'm good… promise_

She shifted onto her side and pulled the throw blanket from the back of the sofa to cover herself up with. She briefly contemplated the idea of taking a little nap before Rachel got home. But, before she could get too far into her thought process, she heard the front door open. Soon after, it was followed by the soft thud of Rachel's purse hitting the stand.

"Honey?" The starlet called out for her wife.

"In the living room," she made no attempt to move. She already knew Rachel would come to her, whether she stood up to greet her or not. Her attention diverted to her phone when it vibrated in her hand.

_Santana: Ya know where I'm at if you want to chat_

_Quinn: Thank you. Rachel just got home, I'll ask her about dinner_

"You better not be working." Rachel scolded with a smile on her face. She knew Quinn was already going stir crazy from her inability to go to work now. The brunette insisted on giving her a hard time whenever she caught her on her blackberry. It was just enough to lighten the mood of Quinn being stuck on bed rest.

"Talking to Santana," Quinn graciously accepted the kiss that her wife gave her, "so, close enough to working." She smiled softly when Rachel let out a giggle. "She was asking when we're coming over for dinner. Claimed Britt wanted to know."

Rachel lifted Quinn's feet to sit at the far end of the sofa. She then pulled the blonde's legs onto her lap and started working her fingers into the muscles. "Oh, we both know it's her who wants us there more. How about we go this weekend, before Beth comes up?"

Quinn just nodded. She'd text Santana either later that night, or wait until the morning to do so. Soon after, the blonde's eyes fell closed as she started to completely relax. It was a mixture of Rachel being there, plus Rachel massaging her calves. Simply being near her wife was enough to calm all of her nerves. Adding in the fact she was receiving a massage – she feared she'd fall asleep on her.

"Have you eaten dinner yet?" Rachel's soft voice pulled Quinn out of her pending slumber.

"Yea, I ate a sandwich about an hour ago."

"Do you want anything else?"

"Not right now. I don't want to move. Too comfortable." She shifted onto her back again and stretched. Her arms raised up above her head and her back arched some. Quinn couldn't help the way she winced when her hip popped. "Okay, apparently my body wasn't though."

Rachel just shook her head. It was nice to have her old wife back. Even if it wasn't 100% just yet, each passing day brought her closer and closer to her Quinn. "Have you talked to Beth about her and her friend visiting?" Rachel continued working her fingers into the muscles of Quinn's calves, smirking when she drew a satisfied groan from the taller woman.

"I talked to her some this morning. I still can't believe I'm going to meet her in a week…"

"What do you think she'll be like? You know, when you actually meet her. Everybody's different in person."

That was one of the things that Quinn fears. Not so much what she would think of Beth – she'd love her regardless – it was what Beth would think of her. "Based on how much we've talked, she's a really sweet girl… I'm just worried about what she'll think of me."

"Honey, don't fret about that. You're an amazing, strong, determined woman and I'm sure she's seen that and figured that out just from talking to you and following the news stories. She looks up to you and everything you've gone through in life. From having her and giving her up for adoption because you wanted to get her a better life, to getting through the incident, and now, being pregnant from said incident and keeping the baby. She's even excited to have a little sister, you showed me the text messages remember? Then the next day, she continued talking about the smile on her face and how she was so excited about it. There's no reason to worry."

"I'm just scared…"

Rachel sighed. She understood where her wife was coming from. Sure, everybody would feel the same way after not seeing someone for 23 years. Especially when that someone was your own flesh and blood. In all honesty, she was scared too. Mostly scared for her wife and how the entire meeting was going to go. Rachel silently prayed that everything would be perfect during Beth and Jess' stay with them.

"Please don't stress yourself Quinn. It's not good for you. We still have over a week until Beth and her friend will arrive here. That's plenty of time to prepare for all possible outcomes."

"Eight days Rachel. Beth will be here in eight days…" Her eyes finally opened and her hands came to rest on the swollen home of her daughter. A smile played on her lips when one of Rachel's hands found hers and interlocked their fingers together. "It seems so far away, yet at the same time, it feels like it's tomorrow. It's just so overwhelming… I'm going to meet my daughter."

Rachel smiled at the words that left Quinn's mouth. She was excited too. She remembered not being able to go to the hospital when Quinn was in labor. Rachel wanted to, but the blonde wouldn't let her. She talked her into staying behind at the competition, because at least one member of the team had to be there or it would have been an automatic disqualification. Rachel was only able to see pictures of the beautiful baby girl that had been born that day. She wasn't able to see her with her own eyes like the rest of the team was before she was whisked away to be with her new family.

"I'm going to meet your daughter too, and you know what Quinn? I'll be there to support you the entire time, no matter what happens. And do you know why?" She continued speaking before Quinn could cut in with an answer, "because I love you with all of my heart. Nothing has changed over all of these years – nothing ever will."

"Thanks Rach." It was all Quinn said before closing her eyes again. It was all she had to say to her wife to draw out a smile. Rachel knew that words had never been a very strong point for Quinn, especially over the past six months, but every time she spoke words of gratitude, it was all she ever needed to hear from her wife, to know that everything was alright.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Not much to this chapter, next chapter will be Quinn and Rachel meeting Beth and her friend. I'm going to try to make that one a little longer and full of emotion.<br>_**

**_Let me know what you think :D_**


	33. Chapter 32

**_First off, I want to thank everybody for the wishes about my grandfather. He pulled through the surgery with no problem. But he did have a complication that appeared about a week and a half after the surgery, which caused him to have to go through another one..._**

**_On top of that, just the past week, I had to rush my cat to the emergency vet. He was probably just a few hours away from kidney failure... I don't have kids, nor do I see myself ever having them, so my cat is my baby. Thankfully, he's pulling through. I'm still watching him like a hawk though, since he is my baby. But he's doing good, thank goodness._**

**_So the past two weeks of my life have been nothing but stress. But with what happened this past week to my cat Zeus, and all of the emotions I was feeling regarding him, I feel it made it a little easier to be able to write through some of the emotions of Quinn and Beth meeting.  
><em>**

**_Enjoy the chapter, I'm about to go lie down and get some more written to the next chapter. Which will involve Beth and Jess meeting Brittany and Santana. Along with some embarrassing moments for Quinn and Rachel lol._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>The First 24<br>Chapter 32_**

**_June 21 – 5:30PM_**

She knew why Quinn had done what she had done 23 years ago. She knew and understood. Beth couldn't even begin to imagine how hard of a decision it was for her birth mother. Part of her wished she had grown up in Quinn and Rachel's care. Any child would want to be raised by their parents. But Quinn had just been a child herself. A child who made a mistake – drunken mistake. Quinn gave her a chance at a stable home life.

Over their time of talking, Beth learned about the type of family Quinn was forced to grow up with. She never had to deal with any emotional or physical abuse like Quinn had. She knew her birth mother had made the right decision to give her up for adoption.

"You okay over there?" Jess' voice drew Beth out of her thoughts.

"Yea, why?" Beth turned to look at the driver and smiled softly.

"You haven't said anything since we got off the highway."

The other girl just smiled softly before reaching over to take the driver's free hand. Beth didn't say anything – she didn't need to. Jess knew how stressed and scared the girl was. She'd been trapped in her own thoughts for the past week and Jess only wished she could help her in some way.

"What if she doesn't like me?" Beth's voice was barely above a whisper.

It was loud enough, though, to draw Jess' attention. The young woman looked over once they came to a stop at a red light. She could see how distraught Beth really was over the entire situation. There was no way for her to relieve the stress though.

"How could she not love you Beth? You are her daughter. Plus, you're absolutely amazing. Everybody love you Beth." Jess threw her a comforting smile as the traffic light changed to green and she pulled through it.

The GPS that was mounted on her windshield indicated the next turn would be in less than a mile. Upon hearing that, Beth felt like her heart leapt into her throat. She'd been nervous throughout the past few days, but knowing that they were less than two miles away from seeing Quinn had her shaking. Her grip on Jess' hand tightened. The brunette beside her shifted her grip slightly to lace their fingers together. She then started to stroke the side of Beth's hand with her thumb. It was a simple gesture, but enough to get her to stop shaking.

The car was silent except for the radio that was now on a commercial and the occasional voice from the GPS telling Jess where to turn.

"Destination will be on your left in one half mile." The robotic voice filled the car.

"I can't do this…" Panic started to overcome her. Beth quickly closed her eyes and started taking deep breaths to try to calm herself. Jess pulled her, once again, shaking hand to her lips to kiss it. "Can you just call her and tell her I got food poisoning? Take me home Jess." She looked up in time to see her friend shake her head.

"Not gonna do that Beth. You've been waiting for this moment for longer than I've even know you. Once the initial shock wears off, you'll be thankful for me refusing to turn the car around."

"I hate you."

"No you don't." Jess slowed the car to look at the house numbers. When she spotted the right one, she also saw a baby blue SUV in the driveway. It was parked next to a dark green car. Those were the same two cars that Quinn said would be in the driveway. "We're here…"

Beth just nodded. She took a moment to swallow the lump in her throat. Her eyes never left the front door as she climbed out of Jess' car. Beth let out a heavy breath as she made her way up the front pathway, then onto the front porch. She knew Jess was hanging back to allow her the first interaction with Quinn – she was thankful. She didn't want to be alone, but knew she needed to be.

"You can do this Beth." She gave herself a little pep-talk before pressing in the doorbell.

Her nerves were almost back under control, until she heard the door being unlocked. To her, it felt like time had suddenly slowed to a near stop as the door was opened. The moment Quinn came into view, there was no denying that she was Beth's mother. Beth felt her heart beating in her chest as she locked eyes with Quinn.

"You made it…" Quinn finally spoke after a few moments of simply staring at her daughter. Sure, she'd seen pictures of the girl over the past few months, but actually seeing her in the flesh was something totally different. She was slightly shorter than Quinn herself was. Her hair was a little bit darker, and she kept it close to Rachel's length. Right now, it was pulled back into a ponytail. Her eyes, reminded Quinn a lot of her own. Beth's skin tone was even close to Rachel's – a trait she must have gotten from Puck. Beth had definitely become a beautiful young woman.

Beth just nodded to Quinn's statement. She was afraid of not being able to find her voice if she was to talk. She simply stood there, looking up at her mother – who was just a few inches taller than herself. Her brow furrowed as a huge mixture of emotions washed over her. Tears slowly started to fill her eyes as she stepped closer to her mother. Quinn made no attempt to stop her as she wrapped her arms around the taller woman. The moment they touched, both women broke down into tears. Nothing but happy tears fell as they clung to one another.

Sure, Beth had hugged her adoptive mother hundreds of times over the years, but this was different. Being in a hug with her birth mother was different. It felt more comforting – more loving.

Quinn was first to pull away, but not by far. Her hand came up to cup the younger woman's cheek. "It's really you…"

"It really is." A smile finally overtook Beth's face – once that could easily rival Rachel's show choir smile in size. It was accompanied by a nervous giggle as her own hand came up to rest on Quinn's.

"The last time I held you, you were just minutes old." Quinn felt more tears brimming in her eyes.

"I know, you told me over the phone."

"Well, she's definitely got your personality honey." Rachel giggled from her place in the hallway. She'd been watching the entire interaction from the moment her wife opened the door. Tears were threatening her own eyes.

"It's funny how things like that can happen, even though they've never met." Jess finally made her presence known as she climbed onto the porch, dragging along two suitcases behind her.

Quinn looked at the young woman as she stepped beside Beth. She took a moment to take in her appearance. She was a little taller than Quinn was. Her hair was about the same shade as Rachel's was. Her hair was also short, but close to her head in the back, and spiked up on top. She was surprised to see piercings going up Jess' ears as well as two in her eyebrow. She mused for a moment, wondering what other piercings this girl may have had. She wore a solid red tank top and a pair of black cargo shorts. Jess definitely didn't match the picture she'd created in her head for the girl.

"Oh, Quinn…" Beth pulled away to hook her arm with Jess, "this is my friend Jess."

The girl waved shyly to the older woman, smiling as she did so. "It's nice to meet you."

The older blonde smiled warmly at Jess. Her initial visual impression of Jess had not gone along with the shy girl that just spoke to her. "It's nice to meet you too," she stepped aside when she felt Rachel's hand on her lower back. "Beth, Jess, this is Rachel."

The petite brunette instantly stepped forward to wrap Beth in a tight hug. The action caught the younger blonde off guard, but she quickly recovered and returned the hug. "I'm so happy to finally meet you Beth." She pulled back and extended her hand to Jess. "It's a pleasure to meet you too. Why don't you girls come in and get comfortable, it's hot out here. Plus, dinner is ready."

Quinn moved out of the doorway to allow Beth and Jess to walk in. Jess followed Rachel down the hallway to the spare bedroom the pair would be using while staying with them. The attorney followed slowly behind – watching as Jess and Beth took in the house. To her, it all felt like a dream. A dream she hoped to never wake up from. Beth was there, in her house, to see her and Rachel.

Beth was going through much of the same thought process. She dared a glance back at Quinn and smiled widely. There she was – her mother. Her mother was standing just a few feet away from her.

After 23 years of wondering what Quinn looked like, what kind of personality she had, and most of all, whether or not she'd ever get to meet her – she was finally get her answers.

* * *

><p><strong><em>June 21 – 9:00PM<em>**

"What kind of ice cream is this?" Jess asked in between bites.

Rachel giggled. "It's actually vegan. There's absolutely no dairy in it."

"Vegan?" The girl's eyebrows show up in slight surprise.

Beth giggled softly from her place beside Jess on the sofa. "I told you Rachel was vegan and most of their food was vegan."

"It was probably during one of your many Quinn rants, meaning I tuned half of it out." She smirked at the blonde.

Quinn simply covered her mouth, trying not to laugh as she watched their interactions. Jess' personality reminded her a lot of Santana's. Watching Beth and her friend together throughout the last three hours had been entertaining to both her and Rachel. They were both happy to see them so comfortable with one another. In a way, they reminded her of her own relationship with Rachel. Leaning back in her recliner to stretch out her back, Quinn allowed her mind to wander back to several years ago in her own relationship.

* * *

><p><em>Quinn couldn't stop the laughter that started shaking her body. She had just returned to their apartment from an evening class to find Rachel in the kitchen, attempting to bake.<em>

_"You look absolutely ridiculous honey." She finally composed herself long enough to speak._

_The brunette placed her hands on her hips as she spun around to look at her girlfriend. Actually turning around and giving the blonde a full view of a flour covered apron just sent Quinn into a full fit of laughter again. To go along with the, now white, apron, Rachel had batter caked on her cheek, the tip of her nose, and somehow, on her forehead._

_"I'm making a cake for your birthday tomorrow. What are you doing home so early anyway?"_

_"He let us out early. Well, when we finished out exam, we could leave…" Quinn spoke matter-of-factly before finally putting her over the shoulder bag on the table._

_"You got go class, finished your exam _and_ got home in an hour and a half? Why didn't you tell me you had a test Quinn? I haven't seen you do any studying. How do you ever expect to pass your classes when you never study?" Rachel scolded her girlfriend with a huff before turning back to her mixing bowl._

_Quinn cautiously stepped closer to her love to see exactly what she was doing. "Rach, I told you last week, after my last class, that I had a test this week. And you never saw me studying because I don't need to," that statement drew another huff from the brunette, "it's only Criminal Psychology."_

_"You say that like it's as easy as one plus one being two." She poured the cake batter into a rectangular pan before sliding it into the already pre-heated oven._

_Before Rachel could move away to clean up her mess, Quinn grabbed her hips, spun her around, and pressed her into the counter's edge. "The concepts of how the unconscious mind works in various people, or how there are many people who have no cognitive reaction to negative stimuli, comes natural to me." Rachel was suddenly looking at her as if she'd grown a third head – causing Quinn to laugh. "It's much like how your on stage presence and singing come naturally to you. Everybody's mind is wired differently sweetheart. Trust me when I say that I know what I do and don't have to study for."_

_"You're suddenly talking like you were in your Psychology class again Quinn." She couldn't help the smile that overtook her face. She was proud of Quinn and everything she'd accomplished in her life – including getting a full scholastic scholarship to NYU's Law Program._

_The blonde visibly blushed. There were times when she'd get to talking about her class and she could tell Rachel was completely lost. Rachel was far from stupid though, having also graduated from McKinley with a 4.0 GPA, but there were things that she learned that were even out of Rachel's scope of knowledge. "Sorry, I can't help it sometimes. The criminal thought process completely fascinates me," she spoke again before her girlfriend could, "do you know what else fascinates me?"_

_"What's that?" The brunette's hands slid up around Quinn's neck. _

_"How beautifully adorable you are." She used the tip of her finger to wipe some of the batter off of Rachel's cheek before sticking it into her mouth. "Tasty."_

* * *

><p>"Quinn?"<p>

Beth's voice barely registered in her mind. She let out a low groan and shifted some in the recliner.

"I think she fell asleep." Rachel moved closer to her wife to check her before smiling softly. "Yea, she's sleeping. Let me cover her up and we can go out to the dining room."

The young women got up from the sofa to go into the dining room to allow Quinn to sleep. They smiled softly down at the blonde as they walked by her.

"Rach?" Quinn's eyes opened when she felt a blanket be thrown over her body.

"Shhh, honey. Go back to sleep." Rachel tucked the thin blanket around her wife before brushing some of her blonde hair off of her forehead.

Quinn started to sit up, her eyes flicking around the room, "but Beth, and Jess…"

Rachel shook her head. "They're still going to be here tomorrow. You got up really early this morning to clean. So I know you're tired on top of hurting. Get some sleep."

The blonde looked at her wife and let out a defeated sigh. "Fine."

"Good. Take a little nap, I'll wake you up when I'm going to bed." She watched Quinn nod before nuzzling into the cushions on the back of the recliner. "I love you." Rachel gave Quinn a gentle kiss then leaned down to place a kiss to her stomach.

"I love you too Rach." Quinn let out a content sigh.

* * *

><p>"Have you two talked about baby names yet?" Beth asked the moment Rachel entered the dining room with a bottle of water.<p>

The brunette was caught off guard for a moment. She wasn't expecting Beth to come right out with a question like that. "We have, but not that in depth though."

"So you haven't decided?" It was Jess' turn to speak.

Rachel only shook her head. "Nothing yet. We have a couple of ideas though." Beth and Jess both looked a little disappointed, causing Rachel to laugh softly. "So tell me, how did you two meet?"

Jess cracked up laughing before turning to the young blonde. "Why don't you tell her?"

"I'm assuming it's interesting?" Rachel's eyebrows shot up.

Beth blushed as she recalled how they met. "It was actually my first day at school. I was moving into my room." She paused to glance at Jess before smiling. "She was on the same floor as me and we ended up in the elevator together. I was too busy talking to mom and dad to even notice her watching me like a creeper." She pushed her friend slightly, causing her to laugh. "It was mom who noticed it and insisted on telling me, right there in the elevator, that I had an admirer." Rachel cracked up laughing, as did Jess and Beth. "When I looked at her, she was struggling to hide her blush and staring at the ground. And when the elevator finally opened on our floor, she practically ran from it. Thing was though, I was going the same way she was and our rooms ended up being right across the hall from one another."

"Did you guys even talk?" Rachel said before taking a sip of her water.

"It was her mom that stopped me before I could get into my room." Jess ran her fingers through her short hair as she also remembered the interaction. "She asked my name, and introduced Beth to me."

"We became like the best of friends after that." Beth smiled warmly at Jess before she leant her head on her shoulder.

"How did you and Quinn meet?" Jess asked as she wrapped her arm around Beth's shoulder, keeping her close.

"We met when we were in the eighth grade. She'd just moved to Lima with her family and started school. She wasn't really that friendly toward me once she learned I wasn't part of the 'popular' crowd." Rachel looked down in sadness as she remembered their past together. "Quinn and I didn't really start talking in a civil manner until after she became pregnant with you," she nodded toward Beth, "that's when she started to realize that all I wanted was her friendship, and I apparently wasn't as bad as everybody thought I was."

"But you guys are together now, and that's what matters." Beth smiled when Rachel smiled. "So, who admitted to having feelings for the other first?" Beth leaned on the table, a huge smile still plastered on her face. "I want some details. Quinn won't give me any."

A deep blush covered Rachel's cheeks, "and I'm not going to give you any details either."

Beth glanced at Jess before looking back at Rachel, laughing at the blush that was on her face. "It must be good then for you to blush. Quinn kept stumbling over her words."

"The only detail I'll give you is that I kissed her first. There are only four people that know what truly happened." Before saying anything else, she paused. If Beth knew that Santana knew how it came about, once she met Santana she'd probably ask her. And knowing Santana, she'd tell her without a second thought. That would make things interesting when Brittany and Santana came over in a few days to meet Beth.

"Who else knows?"

"I'm not telling, it's not my story to tell."

"Well, it involves you." Beth pouted some, drawing a loud laugh from Jess.

"Don't worry Rachel, she's always like this whenever she doesn't get her way." Her comment drew a hard smack onto her arm.

It was Rachel's turn to crack up laughing. When Quinn mentioned earlier that Beth and Jess' relationship reminded her a lot of their own, she didn't think much of it. But now that she had seen a little bit more of it, Quinn was right. They played around like that a lot when they were their age.

"You guys sound like you're having fun out here." Quinn folded her arms across her chest as she leaned against the doorframe watching the group at the table.

"Oh honey, we didn't mean to wake you." Rachel frowned at her wife. She knew the woman hadn't been sleeping a whole lot. She also knew that Quinn just had to be tired after the excitement of the day.

A soft smile overtook Quinn's face before she took a seat at the table beside Rachel. She reached for her wife's bottle of water to take a drink. "I never actually fell back to sleep."

"So, how did you guys actually get together." Beth tried her luck again.

Quinn glanced at Rachel who cracked up laughing. "She just asked me about it and I wouldn't tell her."

"And the same thing goes for me, I'm not telling you."

Beth once again pouted.

"Santana will probably end up saying something about it when they all finally meet." Quinn spoke without thinking. Seeing the way Beth's eyes lit up at the idea, instantly made her regret her words. Santana would definitely tell her and without another thought either. Santana just didn't care.

Jess shook her head before standing up. "I'm going to head to bed, it's been a long day and it's already pushing midnight."

Beth looked up at her friend and smiled. "I'll be in in a few minutes."

"Okay. Goodnight Quinn. Goodnight Rachel." Jess waved her hand to them before leaving the dining room.

Once Rachel was sure that Jess was down the hall and into the spare bedroom, she turned to look at Beth. "So are you and Jess together?"

A blush crept up Beth's cheeks as she looked down at her hands. "No, we're not… but we're taking everything really slowly."

"You guys act like you're together. It's cute." Quinn's words drew a deep red shade to Beth's cheeks and it even spread onto her neck. "Do you want to be with her? She seems really nice."

"She's incredible Quinn. I do want to be with her…"

Quinn threw a knowing smile at Rachel before tipping her head at Beth. "Go to bed, go talk to her." Beth smiled before standing up. She moved around the table to give both Rachel and Quinn a hug. "Good night Beth."

"Night guys. See you in the morning."

Quinn watched as her daughter retreated down the hallway. "I guess that's our cue to head to bed too." Rachel just nodded before standing up, grabbing her bottle of water, and heading to the end of the hallway to get into their own bedroom. Quinn was right behind her.

Once the door was closed, Rachel pulled off her shirt, leaving her in just her bra. She went to their dresser and pulled out a tank top and shorts for both of them to sleep in before turning to her wife. By the time she turned back around, Quinn had already stripped her pants and shirt, and was working on her bra, but seemed to be struggling some with the back clasp. "Are you okay honey?"

"I… I can't get it…"

Rachel smiled softly before stepping closer to Quinn. She placed a gentle kiss to the blonde's shoulder before unhooking her bra and pulling it off of her. "There you go." She placed her hands on Quinn's hips before sliding them around her waist to rest on her stomach. "Beth and Jess were asking me about names for the baby."

"What did you tell them?" Quinn closed her eyes as Rachel's fingers started working into her stomach, causing her and her daughter to relax. Rachel always seemed to have that comforting touch.

"That we've talked about it, but haven't decided on anything." Rachel smiled. It was something they'd already discussed when they figured out the baby's name. They weren't going to share it with anybody. Everybody would find out the baby's name, once the baby was born. "They looked a little sad about it though."

"Just wait until Santana finds out we aren't telling anybody." Quinn pulled away to get changed into her clothes for the evening. "She'll completely flip and threaten you."

"I'm well aware of this honey." Rachel let out a soft laugh at her wife, before joining her in getting changed. "She's definitely not going to be happy about it." Rachel pulled back the blankets and watched as Quinn flopped unceremoniously onto her side of the bed. "Lie on your side honey."

Quinn didn't hesitate in listening to her wife. She rolled onto her left side and felt Rachel slide into bed behind her. Soon after, she felt skilled fingers working at the muscles in her lower back. "Are you sure we're doing the right thing by not telling anybody the baby's name?"

"Yes, there are a lot of other couples that do the exact same thing." She placed another kiss to Quinn's shoulder before moving up to push her hair aside so her lips could reach the blonde's neck. "How's your back feeling?"

Quinn groaned. But it was a combination of Rachel's lips on her neck, and the stabbing pain that was now reaching into her hips. "Keep kissing my neck and find out." She chuckled before rolling onto her back to get a better look at her wife.

"We have guests in the house Quinn."

"So? They're down the hallway." The blonde cupped the back of Rachel's neck to pull her closer for a deep, slow kiss.

"Quinn, you need to rest." Rachel's resistance was falling short. She quickly felt herself falling into her wife's kisses and touches.

"I love you." Quinn whispered before moving her lips along Rachel's neck. She _was_ aware of the guests just down the hallway, and it was definitely moments like this that she hated her hormones, but she'd been thankful for Rachel and giving her everything she needed.

"And I love you." Rachel's head tilted to the side as her eyes fell shut. When Quinn was in this kind of a mood, there was no denying what she wanted. There was no turning her away. Not without fear of repercussions later on anyway.

Rachel allowed herself to be rolled onto her back and was forced to bite down on her bottom lip to keep from getting too loud. There was no way she'd allow them to get caught by their house guests. Especially after just meeting Beth for the first time. When she let out a rather loud whimper, she pulled Quinn's face up to hers so she could kiss her to drown out all of her sighs, whimpers, and moans. It didn't take long for that action to be needed as Quinn's fingers quickly made their way under her shorts and through her already drenched folds.

Quinn wasted no time as she slid two fingers deep into her wife. The sudden intrusion caused Rachel's back to arch up, further pushing her hips down onto Quinn's hand. She kept their lips fused together, swallowing all of Rachel's moans as she thrust quickly into her. Occasionally she pressed her thumb to the brunette's aching clit.

Rachel pulled her lips away from Quinn's long enough to throw her head back. It wouldn't take her much longer to hit her orgasm. She already felt herself close to the edge, just as she was every time Quinn would touch her. "Fuck…" She whispered under her breath before pulling the blonde back in for a crashing kiss. She used her free hand to slide under Quinn's shorts to dip her own fingers into her wife's folds.

The blonde didn't pull away from her wife, instead, Rachel swallowed the moan that escaped Quinn's lips. They had to stay quiet. With Jess and Beth just down the hallway, they couldn't be as loud as they normally would be when they were alone, or even when Brittany and Santana would say – knowing the pair could be just as loud as they were.

It was sudden. The way Rachel threw her head back into the pillow and moaned out her wife's name as she reached her orgasm. Her mouth was quickly covered again by Quinn's eager one as the blonde fell over the edge shortly after. "I love you." Quinn whispered, stroking her wife's clit a few more times before finally pulling her hand away and lying down beside the still panting brunette.

"I love you too Quinn." Rachel turned onto her side so she could look into her wife's eyes. "I love you so much. And I know Beth and Jess do too."

Quinn smiled softly. "I've always loved Beth. And Jess is starting to grow on me already. They're so cute together."

"They remind me of us when we were that age."

"Do you realize how old that statement makes us sound." Quinn laughed. She snuggled closer to her wife, throwing her arm around the smaller woman's waist.

"That's not what I meant and you know it." She playfully pushed on the blonde's shoulders, laughing herself.

Quinn could only smile. She allowed her eyes to close as her she tucked her head into the crock of Rachel's neck and completely relaxed. She slowly took in the scent that was uniquely her wife's and felt herself start drifting to sleep.

"Sweet dreams honey. I'll see you in the morning." Rachel placed a gentle kiss to Quinn's forehead before finally closing her own eyes and allowing sleep to overtake her body.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Leave a review, let me know what you think. I'll see you in the next installment of this story. :)<br>_**


End file.
